A Day of Dissolving

I loved this creative way of repairing a crack.

I loved this creative way of repairing a crack.

There are those days when the energy streams in with such intensity that I feel myself dissolving. I feel raw, tears brimming at the surface, field so wide open, no boundaries. Nothing wrong. Nothing to do but feel it. Allow the fatigue, the tears, the permeability. The only voices that soothe are those of my children. We seem to experience these waves together. I am grateful for the strength their voices transmit, the heart light that flows so free. The love light that weaves its magic amongst us.

As my elder son stated, ” As the external feels harsh, it is a call to go internal and allow the gifts to come.” Always, there are gifts awaiting within my heart. I notice myself retreating to my room, not wanting to speak or interact with others. Even being in the communal kitchen, too vulnerable a place. I cannot have anyone pulling on my energy field when I am without a skin. It takes all I have to exist. To breathe and allow the liquidlovelight to anchor as it streams through this form.

IMG_0357I took a walk through the woods, sat on the path and watched the diamond light dance across the water below. I love viewing water from a height. The light flashed from silver to violet and flared up through the trunks of the trees. I drank it in. Felt fortified. Walked by the creek absorbing the rush of the small waterfalls along its path. Nature…always present to nourish and support me.

I lie here, my snack on the bedside table, the mountain looming outside the window, the evening light casting shadows across her back. Birds singing and this gentle breeze carrying the creek’s voice in through the window over my bed. A movie awaits to allow my being the freedom to drift as my mind is kept engaged.

IMG_0199I am blessed. My heart is beating a song of gratitude for this moment.

Coming Into Balance With the Equinox Energies

Unity consciousness captured from my first attempt at using a huge Japanese brush with ink. I did this in Sante Fe a couple of years ago and just unearthed it and framed it. It makes my heart sing.

Unity consciousness captured from my first attempt at using a huge Japanese brush with ink. I did this in Sante Fe a couple of years ago and just unearthed it and framed it. It makes my heart sing.

I am savoring the energy moving through my body, allowing me to exercise and work in the yard. After weeks of exhaustion and stillness, it is so refreshing to move! I have learned to be more fully present to each moment, appreciating the gift that it brings. I have laughed at the balancing going on. I will feel a spurt of energy and move with it, then a wave of fatigue will come and it is all I can do to get myself to a reclining position. The days seem to be made up of a series of these waves, rolling in one upon another. I drink my green juices and then eat a whole pepperoni pizza with my son. Read a beautifully written novel and then watch a lighthearted movie. I find myself deep in a meditative space, accessing hearts around the globe and then coming out to clearing cupboards with my organizing brain in overdrive. I sliced through a fingernail on my right hand only to have a bee sting me on my left foot. All part of this balancing the equinox is bringing us. I love knowing that on this day, day and night is of equal length all across the world. That knowing sends shivers of excitement through me. We are remembering how to be fully on this earth, loving her and our physical expressions as well as expanding into the oneness fields that allow us to know home. We came to bring heaven to earth. I am beginning to feel the truth of that statement in my cells, in my bones.

I love how deeply that relaxes me. The striving, the impatience, the questioning, the despair, the disillusionment, the pain……all seems to have dropped away like an old cloak that no longer fits. I am ready for a new cloak that embraces all that I have been since I first left home. That was eons ago and there have been many cloaks worn, some dark, some light, some bright, some tattered, some splendid, some plain, some ornate. All have been chosen by my soul as I played various roles as I came to know this human experience. I love this now moment as I am free to chose the cloak that best represents the fullness of my mighty I AM presence. I am brilliant as the sun and there are jewels flashing their multifacted light. Yes, this cloak is one fit for a queen and I am claiming it as the balance point of all that I have been throughout time. I am claiming myself as lovelight, as a lighthouse shining forth. It is such a relief to know myself in this way, to have the mists and clouds of misperceptions, fall away. We are human angels who shine like the sun. Our eyes will have to adjust to the brilliance as we look at one another. Oh, happy days!

As we step boldly through our own dark night, we see the light waiting to engulf us all.

As we step boldly through our own dark night, we see the light waiting to engulf us all.

I stand at the threshold of this equinox, knowing myself as a gatekeeper, holding the doors open for all who would enter. As each approaches the threshold, I hold a field of love that allows them to release their burdens, to drop their cares and sense of responsibility for anyone else. To take off their masks and stand naked, allowing the lovelight to clothe them in its warmth. This is offered to us all. It has taken years for me to come to this naked place, now the path is open and much quicker to travel. It is such a privilege to be allowed this opportunity to be a chalice for the Creator’s light and to serve in this way. After eons of free will, it turns out that doing the Divine’s will is all that I desire. To serve one another, to serve the lovelight is the passion of my soul.

We are bringing in this new age of love, heart by heart. We can add to it daily by speaking our truth, telling one another the words of love that our soul has longed to hear. What words do you wish your mother had said to you? Speak those to your daughter or son. What words do you wish your partner had spoken? Speak those to him/her now. At every turn, become courageous in speaking the language of love. We all desire it, yearn for it. It is now accessible to us, let go of embarrassment and allow the liquidlovelight to flow. “You are so beautiful! You have an immense heart! Your kindness is so appreciated. I love the way you pay attention to details. You create such beauty! I am so proud of you!”

The heavens are singing your praises!

The heavens are singing your praises!

On and on, let your imagination go wild and free your heart to speak what you want to hear. In the speaking, you will find your own heart being healed, being lifted, being gladdened. As we gift one another, we are gifted. This is the way of the universe. It is a win-win world and we are here to reinstate this universal law. Apply the golden rule of doing onto others as you would have done onto you. Do it with a flourish, dust off those compliments and be ready to shower the folks around you with their light! As well, open your heart to receive and own their power. This is part of the balancing….give and receive. You are so beautiful. I am putting on my sunglasses as I stand at the gate of this equinox and watch you walk through into your own light. My God, you are all so beautiful. My heart is spilling over in tears. A blessed crossing to us all.


Super Moon Sunday, Are You Still Standing?

A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

A ring around the sun that appeared the day before the solstice. I love the rainbow ray that was reaching out to me and the pink orb of love.

This Solstice weekend has felt like being squeezed through a wringer washer of old. I have come out like a limp, damp rag on the floor. I have been surfing waves of energy, riding high in the realms of knowing that all is well, and tumbling into the troughs of despair and emptiness where walls surround. My physical body has been bloated, uncomfortable with waves of nausea passing through. It is as if I ate this super moon and I sit here rubbing it! Not as the laughing Buddha but more as a pregnant woman who is feeling the extra weight hampering her movements.

And yet……there is this excitement of the impending birth. A sparkling that flows through my veins along with the sluggishness. It makes sense to me that as duality is ending, we would be experiencing both ends of the spectrum. Our minds question how to navigate these choppy waters. What I am discovering is a greater capacity to fully feel both ends of the spectrum and all that lies in between while retaining an observer’s mind. The questioning of the what, why, hows in my life has died down. There has bloomed a deeper knowingness. The seeking has left my heart. I AM enough. I AM here. I AM showing up with an open heart. There is simply the surrender to the ride, up and down and all around.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

Sunlight streaming in, transforming the old patterns of suffering of the cross into the new patterns of joy.

I spoke with a friend last night and came away feeling so much surer, so clear. By telling one another our stories of the past week or so, (in which we have lived lifetimes!) we both came to a fuller understanding and knowing that all is well. I fell more deeply in love with Sophia, my I AM presence, for her orchestration of my life to align with my divine plan. I fell in love with Linda Marie, for her dearness, her willingness to open to love again and again. I so love me! We both had experienced a death that left us limp and empty. My body is moving slowly as I allow my divinity to flow in unimpeded. I accept that I AM divine. I AM love. My guidance has told me that it is time for me to receive love. To bring the balance of giving and receiving. My heavenly family knows of my gratitude, their message this week was: “Enough Linda. We know your grateful heart. Now, allow yourself to receive our gratitude for your work, for your contribution.” My personality self was surprised by this, had to breathe this in and find room for it. To open my cells and let their lovelight stream in. Yes, it is liquid goldlovelight that is an elixir that I did not know I craved. One drink, and I knew it was the nourishment that I needed. I am drinking gallons of lemon water as I allow this elixir of appreciation and honoring to flood my cells. It carries peace, of a peachy-pink hue that melts my body into the couch, the water, the ground.

This is contrasted by the moments of claustrophobia, when my skin feels too tight, body too small for the light that streams in. I bite my fingernails, flush hot and then cold, toss my hair off my neck, flail about restless as the contraction pulls me in. Comfortable? Not in the least! Oh, the wonder of these bodies, doing this work of internal change while still in operation mode. At times, it feels I have taken a bite of the magic apple that has put me in a semi-sleep state. Words disappear, objects go missing and then reappear in unusual  places, knowledge of how to use things evaporates. The other morning, I awoke to my cell phone ringing. I picked it up and could not for the life of me, remember what to do to answer it. My mind registered, “This is a communication device.” Strange wording and I sat there, trying to access the knowledge of how to use it. I knew that once I had known this. It was one of the many surreal experiences that are happening with greater frequency as we move between dimensions.

Trust. I trust the process. I surrender to it. What else is there? I thank God for nature as when I am jumping out of my skin, sitting with a flower, watching the leaves move with the wind, smelling the grass, allowing the water to caress me……these bring me into the moment. I can live there when all else is chaos and confusion.


I pulled this card of passion the other day. I know this dancing flame is in me and will surface when my body is ready.

The outer world is reflecting the dismantling of the old. Our inner worlds are being mirrored in more and more hearts as the love streaming in does its magic. My dream world is giving me glimpses and assurances that it has already happened, we are in the Golden Age of Peace. I find the ground beneath my feet is more solid, even if I am inclined to lie upon it rather than dance! I know that the dancing is to come as I embrace the doldrums and let myself be. All is part of the whole, the unease and the joy. I AM ABLE for this. As are you. This is why we came, to take all of this experience into our bellys, hold it and rub it with love and send it forth in a shower of light. Like Fourth of July fireworks going off, one by one, we are adding our light to this world. The variety and ingenuity is amazing. No wonder the heavens are smiling in delight!

It is a New World!

Each day, the sun gives us a new picture, just as we are called to create anew each day with the energy gifted to us.

My understanding has been coming in waves. Today one broke that thrilled me. As we ride the waves to their peak, we are afforded a new perspective. I saw that the underpinnings of this old world, have been pulled out. The whole reality is held in place by the continued belief system of the masses. As more of us learn to ride these energy waves, we are freed from the old way of seeing which allow us to take the steps out of the old matrix. All of the old will collapse as its purpose has been served. We can use our energy to energize the world our hearts desire. We are creating our new earth!

The rocks are so happy that someone allowed them a new vista!

Now as I plummet down the surface of the wave, I can be at peace in the quiet time, knowing that the new is real and I will be taken up once again. For so long, we rode wave after wave with no change in sight. It felt exhausting to hold onto our raft of faith in the midst of the storms that beset us. I knew that life was meant to be magical, ease and joy filled but all the evidence pointed to the contrary. This new energy moves like nature, it has its spring time of bursting forth, its dormant winter of going within, its brilliant summer of beauty. It is not static. We have lived under slavery, forced to work each day in a system that assumed a body could produce at a steady pace, day in and day out. We are not wired this way, our energy peaks and then it wanes. It flows out in a burst of social engagement and then returns inward to days of quiet. It is not a constant stream. No wonder we felt so deadened in our 9-5 jobs, our school days, our family lives…..monotony dulls us. If we could not fit the system, we were given a label and a drug …..take a pill, it will make the world more palatable.

Peace feels possible! We are creating it moment to moment in our hearts.

Now we can stretch our wings, stand on that tall branch and survey the scene below. Our sense perceptions are changing. Our hearts are melting into love. Our souls are speaking through us, surprising us in their boldness. A friend said a work acquaintance called on business and before getting off the phone said,” I love you!” She is very psychic and could hear his next thought of ,”Oh my God, what did I just say?!” His soul burst through in what is considered an inappropriate manner but the truth is we do love one another. We do! My friend responded with, “I love you, too!” We are creating a world where we can speak our truth without fear. Where we can be transparent in all of our thoughts. Where fear is nowhere to be found. Another friend related how she had taken a new way home from her church service. She discovered a lovely little bakery and had so much fun. She engaged in a conversation with an older woman who invited her to her 90th birthday party. All of this happened because she faced a fear of trying something new, taking a new route. Small changes leading to transforming lives. It is happening everywhere and people are smiling with how good it feels. Freedom is heady stuff.

I love when the flames dance.

I planted my seeds of intention on yesterday’s new moon. I felt joy in the movement out of my cocoon of the past months. Walks, talks, art making. Today I witnessed my energy retracting, collapsing inward, like the wave, come to rest on the shore. The couch and fire have called me. My meditation for the day has been as a fire tender. Keeping the flames dancing is the all of it. Trusting this, trusting my impulses to be perfectly aligned for me, to me. In honoring the energy as it moves through, I can be assured of always being in my perfect place at the perfect time. I am not missing anything. Today, I did not answer the phone as words were not a part of this silent fire tending. I allowed the movement to take me deep. In honoring me, I allow the world to reflect that honoring back to me.

My cells get sooo excited about all this color coming their way in my juice.

I see this is the way of the energy, it builds, movement and excitement are present, then it recedes and deep rest is called for. Movement, then rest. Movement, then rest. Following the wave, surrendering, trusting, flowing rather than fighting. Moving with life rather than trying to throw up a road block to its flow. As we each move into this acceptance, this grace, our world responds ever more eagerly to out picture the life we desire. I desired lemons and a friend asked if I wanted a bag from her tree. I smiled in gratitude for how beautifully I am cared for. How deeply we are all loved. We were told it was not true and we believed it for a time. But our knowing is coming back, we are remembering who we are. There is no need to analyze it in our heads, process it out……we can drop into our hearts and access our knowing for this moment. And that is all that matters. Trusting that all future moments will be cared for when they arrive. Oh, the freedom to let go of the lens of the past and live in this moment! My former husband and I were laughing in delight at how we are sharing our love for one another. It feels so good to have dropped the pain of the past. It is an old story that we will never read again as there is this new story of friendship and support that is so engaging. This is the choice we each have in every moment, to feel our truth and speak it. To live in the joy of our heart’s prompting. To access our deepest desires and to so infill them with feeling, that they burst forth on the screen of life with vibrant passion and beauty. We have existed on a diet of bread and water and suddenly discovered the kaleidoscope of fruits and vegetables! My son read me a line from a book he was reading that struck a chord: “flamboyants (had to look it up, it is a type of tree when used as a noun), scarlet against the blue sky,flaunt their color like a cry of passion. They are sensual with an unashamed violence that leaves you breathless.”
from The Moon and Sixpence….W.Somerset Maugham

The earth sends me messages of love all the time, as I do her.

I am moving into this experience of sensuality with life! Last night as I lay in bed, imagining my beloved holding me, I was caressed from my shoulders to hips to legs, over and over. It was my beloved and he was able to allow me to feel his touch. I sobbed and sobbed. It went on for about five minutes, which is pretty long. Long enough for my mind to begin to wander to another thought. I laughed and laughed then at myself. In bliss and then thinking of some mundane thing…..again the wave, up and down. Do not judge where you are in it, simply be in it. The bliss comes and then abates, tears and then laughter……we are learning to dance with life!