Where We Are Now

14361310_10154769770703273_8562860245197946457_o-1The month of September saw me on the East Coast of the USA, anchoring energies as the eclipses took place. As my spirit is generous, it aligned with my grandson’s first birthday celebration and the preparation for my youngest son’s wedding. I was in Montreal, Quebec for the first and then a couple of hours south for the second in Vermont. Two spiritual powerhouses in the form of two dear friends from the West Coast, joined me in Vermont for the equinox as our trinity absorbed the light and let it flow. They were also working alongside me to weave and stabilize the mantle that my son and his bride to be would wear. That all sounds like joy……and it was…..and it was challenging to the hilt!

We rented a house in Vermont for our family of five and the soon to be married couple to stay. And our grandson, of course! Relationships were high on the transformation list with the energies streaming in. My elder son and former hubby both received clarity to end their current relationships of almost a decade. My daughter and son in love, were faced with a storm of issues that sought resolution. The baby, who had no teeth at the age of one, decided to cut six at once. My younger son, the groom, had friends flying in on different days to participate in his overnight camping bachelor party. The house held six, then ten, then twelve, then three, then eight……lots of comings and goings. My mother flame flickered, waned, strengthened, expanded. I was the heart holding it all.

Daily offerings from the woods.

Daily offerings from the woods.

The house itself was an initiation for me. It was relatively inexpensive but came with a host of issues that saw me almost collapse under the weight. It happened slowly, not all at once. I would get adjusted to one issue, then the next would present itself. The firewood was rotten, the property manager said they would send a man with a chain saw to cut the big logs outside. Chain saw? No, not what I wanted. Firewood resolved, fire merrily blazing until someone sleeping in the basement area noticed it filled with smoke. The bathroom upstairs reeked of urine. We cleaned it, it still reeked. Manager came with white vinegar….still reeked. Mice in the walls, leaking ceiling in the basement, refrigerator that froze the veggies and had water that collected in the bottom that had to be mopped up a couple of times a day, stove and oven that burned hot and fierce. Manager resolved that by stating that both were slated to be replaced the day after we left. Truly, that was supposed to make my experience better?  It felt like a form of water torture…one small drip after another testing my peace. When I first arrived, my son was there before me and said, ” It looks shabby but it seems clean”. We kept looking for the positive, lovely view from the outside deck, perfect two mile loop walk out the door, trails in the woods just across the dirt road. The beauty of the autumn leaves catching fire day by day. The biggest issue was not mentioned in the airbnb ad. The water came from a spring shared by three houses and we were to limit showers and usage. That stress was not needed and on the last two days, the water did indeed run dry. We had asked for another rental but there was none to be had that would accommodate us all. As well, moving us all would have taken more energy than any of us possessed. I felt used up, every drop of me in motion on the inner or outer planes.

The elementals are so present in these woods.

The elementals are so present in these woods.

I had to laugh at all of this for my initiation! There were moments I did not feel gracious, moments of complaints, fatigue (my teething grandson had short nights and I was the relief for my daughter), as well as much laughter and joy. Watching my grandson discover the pleasure of slurping noodles, as well as his delight as he started walking and talking while we were there. He had stairs to climb and railings to stick his head through…all delights. We had lots of meals with many cooks in the kitchen. We filled jars with maple syrup for wedding favors, we organized apple picking and crisp making for the wedding dessert.  We watched and then stopped looking at the ever changing wedding weekend weather report. The weather had been warm and lovely but was slated for a weekend of rain and cold. We called on the elementals to assist. We were rewarded with sunshine in the woods on the wedding day but we rented heaters for the huge barn to offset the freezing cold temperatures that came in.

fullsizerender-7-1It all worked, it was magical. We created an altar in the woods that held the energy of the elementals’ magic. I had asked my son the night before if he understood the mantle that was to descend upon him and his bride the next day. It was from Jesus and Mary Magdalene. A mantle of love for them to carry as a couple into the world. He said he did and he stated, “I am ready.” He was. It descended as did a pillar of light over his bride as she received the Kumara lineage that would allow their children to carry our family’s flame onward. Powerful weekend that affected everyone who was a witness. My son had invited so many, he had told me that those who were to be there, would come to receive. He knew it was a frequency that he and his bride were offering and he did it consciously. The joy was palpable and we were all graced by their love.

14380005_10154770176718273_1237624372275109394_o-1What I found so interesting was how I felt. It was beyond the observer. I was present and yet distanced. Immersed on all levels of my being. I could feel my divinity within even when my personality self was challenged to the hilt. It is a new space we are occupying. All is part of the whole. No water…part of it…..love vows……part of it. The ceremony by their friend asked us to turn and honor the four directions, we had the four elements on the altar, their first vow was to themselves…..to care for themselves first and foremost. They truly are anchoring the new relationship of sovereignty and wholeness. Two wholes creating together with the Creator. A trinity of the highest order.

The stage is set

The stage is set, whether through love or death, the portal is open for to walk through to embrace more of ourselves.

My heart beats out the tune of, “All is well, all is very, very well”. This intensity has not stopped. I have come back to California to be with my friend who is dying. My knowing had allowed me to be gone for the month and she said she would  wait for my return. We knew it would be fine whatever way it happened, that our spirits would be together.  I have agreed to open the capsules with another friend and mix the cocktail that will send her through death’s door. California is one of five states that allows assisted death. She may not use it, she may slip away but it provides her comfort and peace to know she can make that decision if her body lingers.  She is so present and conscious in facing death. It makes the moments so alive. I am privileged to be a witness, to be informed by all of it.

The tiny houses at the wedding site.

The tiny houses at the wedding site.

A rich time for me, memories of my grand baby’s entrance a year ago, seeing him flourish in such a strong, sturdy body after such a tenuous start, the love vows and mantle carried by my youngest son and his bride, the conscious living and dying by my friend, the inner work that my friends and I did as we assisted with the Jesus and Mary Magdelene’s mantle of love, the dissolution of relationships that held the old energy of care taking and codependency, freeing all to greater honoring of self, the young folks talking of community and tiny houses, the knowing of my capacity to hold seemingly disparate pieces in wholeness and love. We are becoming grown up. We are becoming sovereign. Such joy! The love pods are forming in the ethers and we are feeling the tugs towards our soul groups. Even the wedding barn, with its tiny houses around, surrounded by nature, was a template for the new communities. Beauty and love arising. May we open our hearts to receive it all.

Thank you to Bev and Julia for the wedding photos. I did not take any so am grateful for the use of these!

The Wonder

Lovely sky views from my daughter's 5th floor condo. There are floor to ceiling windows as one wall across the whole place. It is a corner unit so the windows wrap around allowing you to feel so expansive. I so love vistas!

Lovely sky views from my daughter’s 5th floor condo. There are floor to ceiling windows serving as one wall. I love expansive vistas.

Flying, changing time zones, luggage, security lines, shoes off, hands over your head, scans. customs check points….surreal quality to it all. We know that soon it will all be experiences of the past. Bilocation, instant manifestation, telepathy will be our new norm. Peace and harmony will be the new songs that everything will be singing. It is coming in, the elementals know it and have been singing it through the air. We know it by the birdsong, the skies lit up in pinks and soft blues, the breeze that caresses, the ground that sends joy flaming up through our feet, the scent of a lily, the taste of a ripe peach, its juices running down our arm.

I did enjoy flying into Los Angelus at night, seeing the city of angels lit up from above. I imagined the city llights as heart lights, shining. I saw how our earth must look to our galactic friends. So brilliant and sparkly as more and more folks turn on their heart lights. We are beautiful beings living on a beautiful, amazing shining planet. What a gift it is to be here.

Grids of light as I approached LA for my night flight to Montreal.

Grids of light as I approached LA for my night flight to Montreal.

Luca Michael, the grandson baby who lights up my heart, is surely shining his light. Babies do it effortlessly. Their hearts are wide open and free. He is so strong and sturdy, learning new skills every day. He is cruising around holding onto the couch, the wall, the bench. He has begun to take a few steps holding onto my finger or his mama’s long hair. He holds the stabilizing raised handle of his little wagon and flies along until he encounters a wall or obstacle. Everything is an adventure. He discovered how to clap his hands, to make his voice echo into an empty paper towel roll. He moves from tears to smiles in a heartbeat, holding nothing, all flowing through. Babes and children are the masters of the moment, here to teach us. We can be this free, Eat, rest, play, explore, social time, quiet time….a rhythm that our modern world largely ignores.

The Saint Lawrence seaway flowing in and all the activity along its waters. View from living room.

The Saint Lawrence seaway flowing in and all the activity along its waters. View from living room.

Dawn is breaking, the birds are whirling on the morning currents as trains and boats move below me. A little boy’s paradise with cars, bikes, boats, trains, cargo ships and cranes all in motion and on view. A quick walk outside and there are parkways all along the canal lined with flowers and art. America does not invest in beautifying its public spaces like the Canadians. It must be a British sensibility as I noticed it when I have traveled in New Zealand, Australia, and England. As a kid growing up in Buffalo, NY we often visited Niagara Falls. We always went to the Canadian side as it was so much prettier than the bland landscape surrounding the American side of the falls. I am reveling in this beauty, drinking it in through the eyes of Luca. What a wondrous way to view the world, through the eyes of curiosity and delight.




Time to Turn On Our Heartlights

Loved playing with these bits of fluff and watching them fly away with their seeds. We can be carried this way, flowing on the breeze, bearing our seeds, our gifts for the world.

Loved playing with these bits of fluff and watching them fly away with their seeds. We can be carried this way, flowing on the breeze, bearing our seeds, our gifts for the world.

There has been a change, a new season is upon us. I can feel and sense it in the air, the quality of light, the smell of the earth. My body has felt it hit like a wave in moments where fatigue has knocked me flat. We are in this luminous time where we can feel opposite things at the same time. I am tired and wired, clear and confused, decisive and undecided, energized and wiped out. The energy is running fast, accelerating as we move into our divinity descending. There is no stopping the momentum, we are well and truly on our way.

I leave tomorrow for my month back East. I sit here surrounded by things, clothes and crystals and bags strewn about. Body is ready for bed, mind is still racing about. I know that all will be done and I will fly off. Thank goodness for the restorative power of sleep and early morning clarity. I am trusting in that to get all this organized and packed and to arrive with what I need. I am ready for the time of no packing, no planning, rather the flowing and creating what I need in each moment. No baggage, literal or of any kind, straining my shoulders. Yet there is this present reality to move in. It seems to take more of me to wade through tasks that once were simple for me. Now errands of any kind, take a huge effort.  I went into a shop today to purchase a sweater for the dress I am wearing to my son’s wedding. I chose it, went to pay for it and was informed that it was a buy one, get one free sale. I could choose another item. What a deal yet it caused me consternation. There was  time trying on clothes, something I had not intended to do. I felt almost stuck by all the choices and was drenched with sweat by the time I left the shop. To make a decision seemed beyond my capability. My mind had no room, no bandwidth left for a decision. I felt undone.

Walking along the river, being in nature or in stillness with myself in this cottage….I can do these with ease. As the outer world moves into greater chaos, my inner world becomes a sanctuary of peace. We are learning to be able to hold that peace no matter what the external is doing. It is a process, a learning curve but we are doing it. We will master it!

We have been so conditioned to powerlessness and limitation and now we are to learn how to fly. There are solo flights upcoming for each of us as we demonstrate to ourselves, that we are ready for the responsibilities that freedom holds. Ready to create with the good of the whole in our hearts each moment. Ready to let go of being a victim in any aspect of our lives. Ready to let our heart lights shine without fear of being hurt.

I came across this quote:

“I overcame myself, the sufferer; I carried my own ashes to the mountains; I invented a brighter flame for myself. And behold, then this ghost fled from me.” – Friedrich Nietzsche

Gathering photos of my youngest son for his upcoming wedding. Can it be 30 years ago? , This was one of my favorites. He was my third child within the space of less than three years so I was one busy mama. This photo shows my delight in the moments I shared with him alone. Despite the busyness of my days, the joy in my babies, was true and strong. I sense this joy becoming something our hearts sing more clearly each day.

Gathering photos of my youngest son for his upcoming wedding. Can it be 30 years ago? , This was one of my favorites. He was my third child within the space of less than three years so I was one busy mama. This photo shows my delight in the moments I shared with him alone. Despite the busyness of my days, the joy in my babies, was true and strong. I sense this joy becoming something our hearts sing more clearly each day.

It is time to overcome our old ideas about ourselves and allow the brighter truth of ourselves to be seen. It is time to let our heart lights shine, to turn on our high beams  and leave them on day and night. No longer only in safe conditions, but rather in all conditions. Whether others protest that our light is too bright or makes them uncomfortable, still we are to let them shine. This is how we light up the grids, allow more love light to flow in, how we open doorways for one another.

Our hearts are understandably wary,  as they have known much pain and sorrow. We have to be tender with them, so tender. At the same time, we have to be brave. We have to shine our love light to one and all. We are called to participate in this revolution of love. It takes courage and stamina which we have. We can draw it up from our Mother Earth, we can draw in down from our own Christed self, our own divinity. There is only the asking for assistance and it is given. It is the time of the great heart light flowing in force upon this planet. This is not a time to sit on the sidelines and wait to see how it all plays out. Each of us came to add our love light, our heart shine to this moment in time. We did not come to sit on the sidelines. We came to shift an age, to enter into the Age of Aquarius, the Golden Age of Peace and Love.

Let’s turn on our heart lights! Let our shine call down the very stars to witness what is happening here on earth. Let us create a conflagration of love that has the Creator in rapturous delight in our creation. We are one heart, one love, bringing heaven to earth for all to see and live. Heart light, shine!



No Longer Who We Are, Rather What We Are

This is an image I am trusting my cousin, Julia will allow me to borrow. It is a beautiful elm tree that survived the blight of decades ago to hold its majesty across a farm pond that was a part of my youth. This image brings back the laughter and squeals of jumping in on a summer's day with my siblings and friends. I love seeing her reflected glory. She reminds me to stand tall in mine.

This is an image I am trusting my cousin, Julia will allow me to borrow. It is a beautiful elm tree that survived the blight of decades ago to hold its majesty across a farm pond that was a part of my youth. Julia recently revisited this place bringing back the laughter and squeals of my youth as we jumped in on a summer’s day. I love seeing this tree’s reflected glory. She reminds me to stand tall in mine.

The change can be felt in the air. California skies are still blue and heat fills the days and yet…..there is a quickening towards autumn pulsing in the earth. The time of harvest, the gathering in of abundance in all forms. A deep thrum sounds beneath my feet, my cells are dancing in anticipation and the very air holds magic. There is an underlying stillness, a reverent hush before it all manifests into form.

No matter the surface irritants or situations, the joy flame is enlivened with every heart beat. Our minds can be busy focusing on surface things……my nose still looks odd, what do I pack for this trip, how will I adjust my nocturnal wanderings in a houseful of people, while the heart keeps up its steady flame of joy.

I drove out to get a chocolate cupcake....something I have never done but it felt essential in that moment! It was yummy.

I drove out to get a chocolate cupcake….something I have never done but it felt essential in that moment! It was yummy.

We spent years trying to figure out who we were. Now that all drops away as we accustom ourselves to what we are. We are divine beings! Our light is flowing through these vessels at an ever increasing rate. It causes all kinds of strange aches and pains and symptoms as it flushes out all that is not love in its path. It demands presence and attention which can feel disorienting. I find myself having no memory of the moment before. I open the gate to drive the car through……did I just open that gate or was it open? I intend to make a phone call to someone, the next moment I am calling someone else. This happened with a family issue and my former hubby asked why I did not call him first rather than our son. I looked at my phone record, certain that I had called him first. No, I did not. I said, “I have no explanation. I simply do not understand any more than you do.” Of course, I witnessed how that brought up pain in him. It was soft and quick to move through but nevertheless, something old was released.

Reflections, mist, mystery. Sink into it all and allow the new to be revealed.

Reflections, mist, mystery. Sink into it all and allow the new to be revealed.

I say I have decided not to eat that and the next second, I find myself eating it. I want no more possessions, then I find myself at the thrift store purchasing a sugar and creamer set with a lovely blue pattern of flying birds that simply lit up my heart. I intended it for my son and his bride to be but they are wanderers with no fixed abode. Yet for the few mornings while we are all gathered in Vermont before the wedding or the few months they remain there, its beauty will lift hearts. There is something going on…..something demonstrating to myself that it is not this or that. It is not one thing, rather it is all things. What is important, is following the joy thread. If in that moment, it lifts me, then it is all good.

We are entering a time that may have heightened chaos on levels we have yet to experience and it feels like this is training camp. We have to be able to flow in each moment with what is. We drop all regard for what was, even if it was truly a moment prior and we act from our hearts in this moment, and this moment, and this. Our minds are not used to this and may protest as they like a linear progression and consistency. Our hearts, taking direction from our own divine self, are now steering the ship. We no longer have to trust ourselves, ( the me we think of as self) even that can be let go of. Our divinity has us in its hands. We are so cherished, guided and protected in each moment. We can fully trust our divine nature and simply be.

Liquidlovelight rain on me!

Liquidlovelight rain on me!

The freedom in this is astounding and so appreciated by my Aquarian nature. It is the free fall, the bungee jump into the arms of our beloved self. There is no holding back, planning will become a thing of the past as we learn to navigate the flow. Just as flocks of birds, wheel and dance across the sky in undulating patterns, so shall we move as one. Each knowing and following the inner compass that offers the direct route to each one’s highest good. Oh, can you feel the peace in that? Flowing with one another in harmony. Attuned to the Creator with each breath. I am so grateful to be here for this ride. To be able to know this joy in this beautiful body elemental who has served me so faithfully these many lifetimes. I do not know the shape of what lies ahead but I feel it. Its refrain is, all is well sung to the Hallelujah chorus. Own this knowing no matter what the surface reality presents, whether in our bodies, in our politics, in our environment. As we send out the signal, all is well, we create that reality. Feel that, know that, claim your power. It is time. All is in readiness, we must shake off all that we thought we knew, forget all the old lines and characters we once played. It is a new play and we each have new roles. The adventure awaits. We have no lines to learn as this is improvisation theatre. A thrill ride for sure! Flow into our hearts, and we will hear our cue and deliver our lines effortlessly. Oh the heady joy of it! We are ready my friends, we are ready.

We Are Changing the World

Heart rock shining

Heart rock shining

The 22nd of August had been highlighted for awhile, it is the date of my birth and so dear to me. There are three other women that I work with her in Sacramento. We have had many lifetimes and shared experiences together. Our souls knew that this date was a divine appointment. When that is the case, there can be oppositional energy, trying to derail it, whether from inner or outer sources. Yet, our souls knowing is strong, that the date holds an energy and we will meet as we committed to, in eons past.

We gathered at the song master’s home. Her property is a temple which she maintains with many four footed friends, flowers and plants galore, small water feature with a lovely cascading stream, crystals and crystal skulls scattered everywhere, Buddhas and Kuan Yins, labyrinth, wind chimes, hummingbirds and so much more. We sat outside where she had already placed some andara crystals, the skulls who wanted to participate, and other crystals. We each added those who we knew were to come. The table quickly transformed into a beautiful altar as one of the woman, is a master altar builder. There were a few late arrivals as various skulls/crystals/rocks called out from inside the house or from around the yard, declaring their intention to be a part of the altar. We shared new crystals and greeted old friends. The altar was set.

Oh those flowing robes we wore. I saw us as priestesses in Avalon, old bearded men in council, stars forming and exploding. All part of the whole.

Oh those flowing robes we wore. I saw us as priestesses in Avalon, old bearded men in council, stars forming and exploding. All part of the whole.

We settled in. Some of us held a crystal in our hands or lap as we let the energy begin to build. It is fast these days and we are so familiar with one another that we are able to drop in to that sacred space with ease. If any of you have heard Tom Kenyon, a master with his voice, you would recognize the gift that is my friend’s voice. She takes it to a new level and opens up worlds. All of us in this group are sound healers on some level, but this dear heart, is a song master. It is her gift. We spiraled upward and journeyed on the wings of her voice. There was the unifying force that spiraled us into one flame. There came a sound so piercing and high, it created chaos as it shuddered and shattered matter. Our beings were opened wide, dissolution. The journey continued to the place where we had originated the intent to meet in this time/space reality. Wormholes presented, galaxies appeared, our origins made known, we journeyed onward. Afterwards we shared and found similar experiences and ones that were are own. The song took us from chaos to oneness. The threads weaving and traveling, creating and growing. The bliss of floating in a space beyond what we think of as love. Words did not work, there was only sound and light and knowing. All is well. Love is all. There is only Oneness.

Some of the gang.

Some of the gang.

We knew as we came back in to our bodies, that we had created change in this world. We felt such gratitude to have heeded our knowing to come together in this way, on this day. We helped to set the stage for September’s energy to come. Our bodies each have more space in them now, as the chaos did its work to dissolve all the old. The spaciousness inside then filled with the golden liquid love light that has been a part of my dreaming these many years. We are solid in our knowing, that come what may, we are ready. We can anchor and transmit the “All is well” signal as the chaos brings up fear. Our love can hold space for it all, knowing the outcome is assured.

It was a day of magic. We shared stories of change we are seeing around us. A son-in-law calling for advice, folks who rejected us, returning, a schizophrenic youth reaching out, family members changing in response to health crises, sudden job changes and house changes for so many, heart softening, old triggers rendered harmless.  There are signs everywhere that life is changing.

Chaos is a natural part of creation. Nature shows us this over and over…..new growth, maturity and decay. Birth and death. As a culture, we have closed off the beauty of this stage of chaos and destruction. We have wanted to keep things held in place. We feared change. Yet, it is inevitable. It is cleansing, it is freeing. It is time!!

IMG_9880We held our emotions, our pains and sorrows so close to us, our possessions, our loved ones…..all with the thought that we could cheat death, forgo the process of letting go. We come naked, we leave the same.  We create and we let it go, like a sand castle at the beach. We allow the waves to have their way, knowing that there is always more sand and new creations to be made. Knowing the joy and freedom in that.

September holds those waves washing in with the eclipses and equinox. I know I am to be on the East Coast by August 31st. I need to be in place as the first eclipse transpires. We are called to be empty vessels, allowing the love light to flow freely through our beings. I can feel the unity on the other side of the chaos and it makes my heart sing. We are moving into a time, where all upon the planet, are free to sing their note. Oh, the harmony! What beautiful players we are in this game on our beloved earth. See through the smoke screen, let the fear flow through and come to the knowing that peace is at hand. Drop your beliefs and let your heart’s knowing fill you. Love is here to stay…and play… and sway, and may…..just change your world!

I Own My Own Beauty

Heart rock shining

Heart rock shining

I was feeling that my last post was disjointed as the ideas had flowed on a day that I could not write. I then recreated the post when the energy came but it felt a bit awkward. The words were not conveying all that I felt. Yet, I posted it and received wonderful responses. I was surprised and delighted. A dear heart offered to lend me a dress from the other side of the world and another sent me some online clothing that might suit. How fun!

What surprised me most about the whole shopping experience was that I have owned my own beauty for the past number of years. Once I began to fall in love with myself, I knew the beauty of the light that I carry on this earth. It was interesting to observe how I felt unattractive as I shopped. That was not an energy that has ever been much in my life. I have not been focused on my outer appearance, never having spent time to learn about makeup or hair. I liked to look nice but was not interested in putting much energy into it. There were always things that were more important to me.

IMG_9961So, the whole experience of the shopping, my face being cut, has brought my outer appearance to the fore for me to look at. I do love when things happen that allow me to see any patterns or beliefs that are ready to go. This allowed some cultural conditioning as well as my internal sense of myself to be examined. I am grateful to come out of it with a renewed love for this body elemental of mine. How she has endured pregnancies and years of hard work, stress, unhappiness and yet still stands. She is an amazing being! For the most part, I have had so little pain or discomfort. My body has run well. It is much to be grateful for.

I pray for the day that we all know our own beauty…..inside and out. More and more, there is evidence of this in our world. People are looking past appearances and seeing with their hearts. We are heart lights, encased in these various looking bodies. Our energy is our signature. Outside of this realm, we know one another by our lovelight. This is what matters, this is our truth. May you know your own beauty and shine it out to the world. As this happens, we create a world of love filled with the most beautiful beings.


Clothing Shopping

A few of  my thrift store treasures that bring me such delight.

A few of my thrift store treasures that bring me such delight.

My youngest son is getting married next month. A cause for celebration and delight. Dress shopping for the event, has not held any of those elements. I realized that it has been years since I really shopped in regular stores.  I enjoy browsing thrift stores and finding small treasures and clothing that fits my mood. Nothing had turned up so I went with a friend to the smaller mall here in town, knowing that the mega mall she suggested, would overwhelm me.

The energy of consumption is so strong and it bears with it the enslavement program that we have lived under in this reality. People forced to labor for so much of their waking hours simply to provide food and shelter and then in the little free time remaining, bombarded with messages to go out and consume. Keeping the whole cycle intact, buy more, work more in order to buy more…..yikes!

The dressing room

The dressing room

What struck me was how it made me feel. Standing in a dressing room, my body felt all wrong. Too fat, too flabby, too short. The lights and mirrors did nothing but point out my flaws. I feel a naked body is a thing of beauty, no matter its size. I find I feel more comfortable with my body naked than in clothes. Well, especially dress clothes. The thought of stockings and waistbands….it has been years since I wore any of it. When we are at home, most of us want to remove bras and confining waistbands and pull on loose soft clothing. Yet that is not to be found in clothes for dressy occasions. I wanted a pretty dress in a light color. Simple enough desire but they were not to be found. Black and navy blue, white and cream were the colors. I did not want a dark dress nor to wear the bridal cream and white. I did not want form fitting tightness. I wanted comfort and beauty.

I came home and had a cry and ate cookies. It was amazing to me how the whole experience affected me. There is such a heavy propaganda agenda to make us feel inadequate. We are not beautiful enough, thin enough, fit enough. I thought, I am a sixty year old grandma. I thought of my grandmother and how she looked. There was not this idea that you had to look young. You had gray hair, soft belly and bosom, your body a source of comfort. My grandma was rail thin but she looked like a grandma.

I know and understand this energy and yet it affected me strongly. Think of all those who do not understand that they are being manipulated and truly believe the advertising messages.  It felt so heavy and oppressive. I could feel the collapsing of these structures and ways of living.

A walk by the river calmed me, this tree already showing its fall colors. It reminded me that change is at hand.

A walk by the river calmed me, this tree already showing its fall colors. It reminded me that change is at hand.

It took awhile for me to recover from it all. I will wear a skirt and top that I have and feel comfortable in, allowing my inner beauty to be my shine. This summer has been difficult with my face being altered due to the skin surgeries that required me to stay out of the sun much of the time,  the extra weight I am carrying in my belly, the intense days of feeling flattened by the energies. I have felt so uncomfortable in my skin, no real pain, rather intense discomfort, a sure sign that there is a shift just ahead for me. And for so many of us as we move in to our crystalline bodies of light. I am ready. I am so ready!


No More Separation

The river was flowing fast this morning.

The river was flowing fast this morning.

I found myself having a chuckle as I reread my last post. I spoke of calling in Archangel Michael. It truly is aspects of my greater self that I call in. There is no longer a separation between us and our guides/ascended masters/ angels. It feels now as if all were integrated as part of me. There is not the going outside, for answers. There aren’t really questions. Instead, there is the field of light that is available for us all to tap into. The ONE source, the All.

By surrendering to the wisdom and guidance of my greater self, life shifts. I know that I am so loved and cherished by my soul, my oversoul…..whatever term we want to give it. I know that from that broader perspective, the choices are more clearly seen. The pathway to my highest good is highlighted. As I allow my inner knowing to have free rein, then I can trust that all that enters my world, is of benefit to my growth and expansion.

This knowing allows a sense of peace to underlie my days. There may be the ups and downs of our human emotions as they are there to guide us. As we allow the feelings to be felt and flow through us, we are moved along our chosen path.

These grasses were showing me how to surrender to the currents of life. Bending not breaking.

These grasses were showing me how to surrender to the currents of life. Bending not breaking.

I love the way I love myself. I love how I chose the lessons and situations that I intended, whether I liked them at the time or not. I recall going through an abortion in my twenties, a devastating event for me at the time. Yet, even while I was in it, I knew that I would look back and know that it served me. That it offered me a gift. It did allow me to let go of much judgment of others and have compassion for folks in situations that I would have deemed wrong previously. That soul later came to me as my eldest son. Within the first moments of his birth, he conveyed to me the message that there was nothing to forgive, that all was as it should be. That we had loved one another since the beginning of time and had come at this time for a shared purpose.

I am often in awe of how lessons come to me, how much orchestration is involved in having different people and circumstances show up in order to teach me something. How amazing is that? How we are loved!

We are remembering that we are masters and creator beings. It is exciting to feel into the creations that await our touch. We are birthing the world that we wish our children and grandchildren to live in as we remember how to love.

Deep Naps and Strange Noises in the Night

The light shining through the darkness, a gift.

The light shining through the darkness, a gift.

Today I went to see my son for a bit, intending heading to the library afterwards. Instead, I drove straight back home. I had considered just dropping the books and dvds but even that was too much. They are not due until tomorrow so I could wait. I cooked myself some food for my suddenly ravenous appetite. Body settled, I noticed the time…..2:22. 11:11 had appeared at the a.m. and p,m. hours. It feels that I am syncing up with some part of myself as these numbers come in once again. I awoke close to 7p.m. in a daze. It took some time to come back from wherever I had been journeying. It was hard to believe that it was already evening, day and night becoming intertwined.

Last night I awoke to hear a Tibetan choir…..it felt as if I were in a cave listening to that magical overtone chanting that the llamas do. My mind was trying to figure it out..wait, I am in bed, where is that coming from? Then there sounded like footsteps outside that stopped at my window. I had a momentary shiver go through me. I decided it must be an animal yet had the sensation of someone. I called in Archangel Michael and asked all not of the Christ light to depart. I took a breathe and reminded myself that there is nothing to fear when I turn on my heart light. I breathed that knowing into my body. There were a few other strange noises, then pressure on my feet and calves as if someone was working on me. Strangely, that has become familiar to me and does not cause my body any fear at all. It was the strange noises that lit up the fear button. All ceased and sleep overtook me.

I have had a few of these experiences of late. It feels like a bleed through from another dimensional space. I am setting my intention tonight to participate in that which is for my highest good and allows my body peace.

So many colors and forms! I know that one day, I will create new ones.

So many colors and forms! The flower faeries have told me that one day, I will create new ones.

We are co-creating this shift.  We can intend for it to be with as much ease and grace as possible for us all. The twinkling of an eye is an expression that has reverberated deep within my knowing for most of my life. I know that it is possible. Our hearts are so ready for the magic. Trusting it all to flow outward as our knowing of how life can be quickens those dreams hidden so deep within our hearts. Oh, there is so much beauty to come. We are all so beautiful in our myriad colors and forms. May we see this beauty in one another and know it in ourselves.



Eccomi…..Here I AM

IMG_3612 (1)One day, we will look back at these times and marvel at the beings that we are. Another intense day; a trip out to get the post surgery sunscreen and silicone pads for my nose,  home to make food, followed by a deep three hour sleep. Whew. Not able to do anything for the remainder of the day except watch a BBC series and drink quarts of water. Tried to sleep, my body still feeling head pressure and weighted yet my mind active with buzzing energy. To say that I am done with this way of living….is an understatement. It is a half life, at best. Tonight I am at that edge point….let me shift out of body or allow me to have some sustainable energy that makes a life here possible.

I feel such tenderness for this body elemental that has withstood so much. I know how blessed I am by her. I am grateful for the relatively pain free existence that I have had in her. I know so many who have taken on physical dis ease and pain to transmute it back to love for us all. I am grateful for their service.

The green green algae, my green hat and nose bandage all enjoying the sun.

The green green algae, my green hat pulled low over my nose with its added protection of a bandage, all enjoying the sun.

I was reading a woman’s memoir about Italy where she described the unselfish care that her Italian mother-in-law bestowed upon her family. The word used was, eccomi…eh ko me. It means, here I amThe mother used this word in answer to questions, concerns, tears. Eccomi. That word hit me in my heart. It could describe so many  on this planet.  Here I AM. Offering all in service to this earth, to humanity, to the Creator. Eccomi. Here I AM.

I know that there has been a qualitative change that has taken us beyond the parameters of old. The shift is in progress, so many layers have lifted, entire dimensional spaces have been collapsed from the bottom up. The densest spaces having been cleared as we move up the scale of frequencies. I know that the horizon is bright with possibilities beyond my imagining.

We are in the embodiment phase. We are bringing the frequencies of heaven to earth through these dear body elementals.  I trust in the regeneration, youth ing, radiant health that is on tap. Yet tonight, all I can feel is that we are due for an R&R as the fatigue factor is mighty. Another word that I liked from the Italian memoir was carnale….of the flesh. She describes how our English word, carnal is derogatory and has sexual connotations. Whereas, the Italian word, carnage meant precious, sacred. Fully of the flesh. I want to be fully in my flesh, to feel so embodied in my divine feminine grace that every cell in my body dances in its truth.

At times, the energy flows to cooking. Today I was able to enjoy so many colors in one meal...yum!

At times, the energy flows to cooking. Today I was able to enjoy so many colors in one meal…yum!

I am ready to live my divinity fully. I dream of the day that we no longer talk about spiritual matters as we embody the light. We are the light. I am ready for a simple life of beauty and love and connection. My Italian memoir points out how the American author outgrew her binge eating due to the healthy fresh food eaten in community. The cooking and sharing of food giving it all those love nutrients that we have lost in our culture. I want to cook and eat with others, not in the singular way I did for decades as a housewife but in a way where more is shared as a community.  The growing, the harvesting, the cooking, the eating…all with others. I want to live in a love pod that hums with its harmonic overtone. Where every sentient being is singing their note and all are understood. The trees outside my door converse with me as easily as my soul sister, the breeze speaks in a language of light that flows through my mind like the sweetest music, the earth meets the soles of my feet with spirals of energy, pulsing up through my form. All is in harmony. All is at peace. All is love.

Dear body of mine, we will hold fast to this knowing. This month of August is about showing up each day as best we can, trusting to the quickening that September’s energies hold. Eccomi, here I AM.