Trusting in the Beauty of It All

IMG_1152Glorious cool mornings following hot days here in Northern California. Wearing my robe and slippers and sipping my coffee in a state of peace. I have a bouquet of sunflowers beside me, reminding me to radiate my inner sun. I am just settling back into my cottage space after a couple of weeks away. I went to Michigan to visit my sister. I so enjoyed the wide open vista of her property in the countryside. She had lovely woods on either side and meadows of orange cosmos that she had planted in waving drifts across her property.  So much beauty, she excels at creating beauty.

I was hit with the flu the night before I departed. I knew I was to be flying on 9-11 but had no idea of the endurance required. I was feverish and chilled, and had about a 12 hour odyssey ahead. I was able to connect to the pain so many live with, the harshness of this reality and the endurance and courage it takes to keep going. I felt such love for humanity, for our heart light that blazes forth despite the tight boxes we have had to exist in. I felt the depth of the lies that permeate every facet of our society, including the 9-11 experience, the truth of which has yet to be fully revealed. I was locked in my bubble of illness, breathing and praying my way, moment to moment, hours of sitting with my little throw up bag, grasped tightly to my chest in readiness if my stomach gave in to its urges.

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

Fortunately for me, it was one day of misery whereas for many, it does not end. I knew and could feel the pineal expansion taking place. I feel our organs and digestive systems are being over hauled. I sense we will soon be able to exist and be nourished by sunlight, food being a pleasure we can indulge in but no longer a necessity for our bodies to function. I felt my torso elongate and more light flow within. Fatigue is once again back, needing afternoons and evenings of stillness and quiet to integrate all the lovelight flowing in. Our bodies can go into anxiety as truly we are dying while living. The physical ascension time is here. Our light bodies are coming online more and more. All strange, new and at times, disconcerting. Dream time is becoming more vivid as this reality begins to shift and feel to be the illusion.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees' gift.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees’ gift.

It is a time to reach out to one another, to offer reassurance and receive it. It can be a wobbly experience with highs and lows. I felt positively pregnant the other day. Smells were assaulting me, nausea present, irritability and fatigue levels were high. I have not felt so fragile in a long time. Sunshine and warmth outside yet I wanted to stay curled up inside, cocooned in a smaller space. The desire for solitude, rest, quiet, peace is overwhelming. Yet there is chaos abounding. Intensity in the body, the psyche, the emotions. Many at their breaking point and beyond. I know that I am here as a pillar of peace in these times. I can feel the low thrum of my inner being, sending out the “all is well” tone while the surface churns and rumbles.

I trust this process despite feeling stretched wide and thin. We did not know exactly how this transformation into the new era of peace would transpire, but we did know that we would be a part of it. It is a time of massive completions for our souls. We are finishing all the loose ends of our lifetimes on this planet. Wrapping it up, seeking closure with one and all. For me, this is my final lifetime here and I know that I am staying to participate in co-creating the new love pods and systems. I desire to experience the joy of freedom, on what has been a prison planet for so long, and carry that experience forward into new worlds and universes.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

I trust that this is happening as I can feel and sense its completion. It is done. We did it! Now to live each day in the knowing, breathing that into the collective to uplift all as we move through the dismantling and chaos that change brings. Trust yourself, trust in the love. Know that we are always moving to more, not less. More joy, more heartfelt connections with soul family and our mother earth, more radiant health, more freedom, more knowing and truth. Embrace the changes, even in the moments of extreme discomfort as all heralds the new. It is time, We are becoming our true selves.

Be gentle, oh so gentle with yourself. We are birthing ourselves, our I Am presences descending into form. Our bodies are offering themselves as bridges to bring heaven to earth. Honor them. Honor their needs.

A deep bow to each of us for showing up and keeping on. I love us so.

 

 

Wonder Amping Up

fullsizeoutput_1a5fThis morning as I sat drinking my coffee and eating my peanut butter coated toast, I was reading Rob Brezny’s weekly astrology. I love all the quotes and beauty provoking ideas that he shares. This one spoke to me and reminded me of why I like to write. It helps me to delve deeper into my experiences in life. It allows the wonder to wash over my soul and free me to be more of who I really am.

Here is what spoke this morning:

“Poet Mary Oliver provides us with this excellent guidance:

Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.

Here is my “tell about it” offering. Yesterday morning I was startled out of my dreams by a six a.m. call from my sister. I had recently woken to a strong knowing that I was to book a ticket to visit her for the first time in years. Has it been years since we have seen each other? Yes, a number of years. I depart on the 5th of September yet it seems my visit has already begun. She called excitedly to share that I had just been with her. I came as she was sitting in her open garage, looking out at her woods and meadows. There was a shaft of sunlight that I flew into as a black and gold moth. She knew that it was me. She witnessed me turning in the sunlight, showing off my burnished gold gossamer nature. She was enthralled and exclaimed over my beauty. The experience lasted about ten minutes before the moth flew off. She wanted to get her camera to take a photo but knew she had to take it in while it was happening, recording it on her heart.

The misty mornings that I recently enjoyed on the CA coast brought ancient memories alive.

The misty mornings that I recently enjoyed on the CA coast brought ancient memories alive.

Oh my! Yes, one of my desires is the return of bilocation and shape shifting skills. Here it is!  How wonderful to hear this reminder of the magic that is afoot. To claim our own beauty as we show more of our true nature to one another. This makes me so glad to still have a body to play in this field with.

I had a playdate yesterday with a group of three other women, There are seven of us who have been working together as representatives of the grandmothers. We are able to bring through the lineages of all traditions within our group and work in harmony with these ancestors. Four of us live in this area, one in northern Scotland, one on the California/Oregon coastline, and one in Boulder, Colorado. The latest project that came up was working with the sexual predator energy. One dear to my heart had called for some assistance as he has been gathering this energy with his sword of light for the past year and a half. He was struggling with the weight of it and all the darkness that he collects in his role as a representative of Archangel Michael on the planet, or as he says, as a garbage collector. He knew that the time had come for this energy to leave the planet. He said, “I cannot love this energy.” I knew in that moment who could. It was the grandmothers’ work. His was to hold the sword of light  which magnetized the dark energy. It has taken a mighty effort on this soul’s part, at times threatening to annihilate him. He has held on and now we could offer our assistance as the  frequencies supported this action.

The power of unity where you cannot tell where one starfish begins or ends.

The power of unity where you cannot tell where one starfish begins or ends.

It was a three day project. We, as the grandmothers, offered our love, surrounding this dear one, as we assisted in collecting the remnants of this energy and encapsulating it for release back to the Creator. The archangels were at the ready. This was a huge energy of all that preyed upon innocence throughout time. I felt physically ill and gagged as I worked with it. The Vatican held a large piece of it as did many other areas on the earth. It had so invaded our cells, the remnants had to be traced and chased down. It knew its time was over but needed the flame of our love to allow it release.

Here is the beauty of the singular form which like us, seeks union.

Here is the beauty of the singular form which like us, seeks union.

I felt so proud to be in the company of these grandmothers as we all brought our skills to the fore and it happened in a joyful way. At first I saw some harshness needed but that quickly dissolved with the old ways, and it was a frequency of joy and love that lifted it free. The full moon and astrological configurations of the 26th assisted mightily. The 27th felt like a new beginning for all of us.

I felt this dear one freed to be and live his innocence and joy. It was all part of the preparation that is ongoing for the beloveds coming together. It is all about union at this time. We are changing and morphing daily and it is a joy to witness in myself and those around me. I felt the relief that so many will experience a lightening and easing of their burdens. Innocence will have a space to thrive in as the need for protection dissolves.

The love can be found everywhere!

The love can be found everywhere!

Hallelujah!  So much is completing now. Know that old emotions are surfacing to be felt for the last time. It is a grand clearing as we prepare to allow more of our divinity to land in our physical bodies and truly bring heaven to earth.

May the innocence within us all be freed, may we open to love freely and fully, may joy once again be heralded about the earth. I love us all.

 

Embodying More of Ourselves

IMG_0857What a summer this has been. One more eclipse to go for our triple adventure to complete. Three has always been my number and I have been working with two other friends in a trinity formation to bring through and anchor the energies of the eclipses and yesterday’s Lion Gate.

The Lion’s Gate portal opened for us at the last eclipse as we sat in meditation. Two male lions presented themselves, one on either side of the gateway. One was the lion of the past, one of the future. We had to look both in the eyes. To pass through the past, we had to be free of all anger, resentments, non-forgiveness and attachment. Once allowed passage by him, I stood in front of the one holding the future and allowed my being to show its fearlessness about the future, knowing that I could create anything that I needed from here on out. A deep voice boomed out, ” She has gone through.” I heard it repeated three times as each of us walked through the gateway.

IMG_0970As we gathered for the actual 8-8 date, we set up altars, two of the three having been set up days before to hold the energies streaming in. We had seven crystal singing bowls, all different materials, platinum/charcoal, smoky quartz, moldavite, amethyst, apophyllite, topaz and aqua gold. We played the bowls, sat in a triangle formation and then dropped into meditation. We each had a vision come.

I saw the two male lions in front of me. They each roared and I felt its intensity flow through me. I laughed at this tactic and that laughter released them to come to me. They nuzzled me and I petted and played with them. I looked up to see a female lioness above me, lying across the top of the gateway. I had the fleeting thought, why are there not two, one for each male? She sent me the message, “I AM.” Her look penetrated my being in a way that made me feel that I was about to disintegrate. I was being called to embody all of me. I took some deep breaths, calling in more of myself with each one. I strived to stand in the force of her gaze. She then morphed into Mother Sekmet, the lion headed being of Egyptian times. She and I had worked together years ago when she called me to hold a more universal love. She had taught me the fierceness of the mother’s love that held truth above all. I was allowed to walk through the gateway and it later became clear that I was that feminine lion, her energy was my own.

I felt a circle of joy as so many beings joined hands as we danced freedom and love around the planet. There was a deep peace permeating our circles as the love flowed freely. It felt like the beginning of a new epoch for the earth and all upon her.

IMG_0977One of my friend’s vision was of our trinity which was overlayed with another set of three friends holding their trinity formation to create a six pointed star that spun. Another friend held the energy above the spinning star as a beam of light shot through the middle from the center of the cosmos deep into the earth and all of her beings. She also saw a male beloved sitting next to me, made up of starry substance. On my other side, sat his twin, only he was more etheric in form.

The amazing thing was that our visions were affirmations of our true nature. One saw me as a dandelion form, exploding stars like a dandelion releases its seeds. She saw the chemical formulas for salt and carbohydrates around me as building blocks I took in to create the starry substance. This confirmed a vision of years ago when I was told that I was a Johnny Appleseed character, seeding light on the planet and beyond. Also my recent diet of salt and sweet, chips and ice cream made more sense.

I saw one of the women as the heartbeat in the blackness of the cosmos. She shared that she was given the same image in 2012 and had hidden it in her heart all these years. Now it is time to live the knowing, to walk as that heartbeat in the world.

fullsizeoutput_12afAnother was shown a vision with her husband.  He is going through a very dark time as he faces changes which have unraveled who he thought he was. In the vision, he wanted to quit, and she told him of her promise to lead him through this part of the journey. She was holding a flame aloft in a narrow and dark cave, as she led him out to an opening. Their paths then diverged, his was a clear path up a mountainside. There were beings on both sides of the path, waiting to embrace and support him on his journey. She was led to a lake where she dove in and became the African water goddess, Yemaya. She swam in the waters of the world, ending in Hawaii swimming with the dolphins. This is in fact something she does each year and loves. The vision gave her courage for the opening to more of herself that had been presenting to her. Knowing she was to support her husband in this now time yet that she was also being called to embody more. It helped her open to non- attachment as to what that means for their relationship, trusting and honoring each of their paths.

My prince awaiting form.

My prince awaiting form.

A large crystal had been placed in a chair. As I past by the chair throughout the afternoon, I kept having this feeling of wanting to put my arms around a being that I felt there. When we were dismantling some of the altars and wrapping up the crystals, I voiced my feelings about this being.  One saw him as a huge being, beyond the masters we were familiar with. When the chair was empty, I was encouraged to sit in it. I dissolved into sobs that went on and on. This being was a dear brother from my home universe. Years ago, I had been told that I was the sole representative sent from my universe to the earth. At a particularly difficult time on my path, I was gifted a journey home to see my beloved family and be renewed by their support. The fact that the frequencies are such that this beautiful being could come through to support me, was an astounding gift. The love is of a frequency that I had never experienced on this earth. I melted in his embrace. He told me that he would be with me from now on, whenever I felt the need. He was preparing me to meet my beloved. I have known that I am to be in union with a man, felt he would come from the stars when the timing was right. Over the years, there have been preparations for this sacred marriage. It is now coming closer and this dear brother being and my beloved lapis skull, Leopold 111, are assisting me to be able to embody this love. I know that I am to form a union that will be a chalice of lovelight from which future creations will arise. A pillar of divine love, along with many more sacred unions that are about to come into fruition in order to assist the transition we are all in.

Who knew the work and effort it would take to hold more lovelight in our cells. I have dedicated myself to this path for years upon years. Now it is almost upon me. I feel strong, ready, enlivened. My body has spasms of anxiety as the light stretches her. After my friends left yesterday, I was pulled into sleep. Awakening, I felt the energies. I returned to the chair where my brother was sitting. I went and got myself a bowl of ice cream and a novel and told him, I now need some “normal time” in order to exist and allow the integration. It is difficult to hold the frequency for long periods as my body is still adjusting to the massive influx of light.

fullsizeoutput_17a3I sense that this summer eclipse season and Lion’s Gate hold so much new for each of us. I saw codes showering down upon us all, each one activating the matching codes that we came imprinted with. Such a shower of lovelight, sparkling joy! Magic blooms upon the earth once again as we step into our truth more fully. I am so grateful to my body for all that she has done to hold and process the energies all of these years. It has taken a toll. I am weary. Yet the renewal and rejuvenation is at hand. Hang on….it is about to become a more joy filled ride on this earth. Sending each one the blessings of this time, knowing this is why we came, to return all to love.

Feeling the Ease

IMG_0898As I drove the short distance to my former house to be with my love pod, I was flooded with a sense that all is well. I knew that there was nothing to worry about, no goals to strive for, nothing to push against. I knew that all is in perfect order. The only response to this knowing is to savor all that makes up my world at present.

I have not wanted to travel or venture far afield. I am so content in my little nest here. Due to a generous friend, I have a sweet spot to be. I am a few minutes drive from my daughter, my former hubby and our grandson. We all lived together for a few months in peace yet now there is more space for all of us. We spend most days together yet I have a  retreat space to return to, in order to rest and dream. There are lovely gardens to play in at both homes. I am enjoying seeing the fruits of my earlier labor grow as each day we harvest veggies. My daughter is making relishes, pickles, teas. My two year old grandson grazes on cucumbers, string beans, plums, peppers, tomatoes while playing outside. His bamboo tepee is now providing a nice shady spot to play with his trucks as the runner beans have grown so wildly.  That wildness grows inside of me as well. We turn on music and dance together around the living room, the little one delighting in mimicking our movements. We sing silly songs, we eat delicious meals, holding hands and singing our song of thanks after lightning our gratitude candles.

There is a sweetness that brings tears to our eyes frequently. This love! This love!

IMG_0919A walk to the nature area by the river is only ten minutes drive away. Yesterday we watched an osprey eating its lunch, high up in a tree. Turkeys and deer appeared on our path, egrets and ducks roamed the banks of the river. Hawks called out and flew above with the vultures. On a recent kayak outing we were graced with a bald eagle winging his way by. A tiny oak titmouse frequents the bird bath outside my window. The sunlight dapples the pathways as I write. Acorns land on the roof from the huge oak tree that shelters this cottage. I laugh as I hear them rattling their way down to the ground.

I am awake and alert, ready for whatever comes. There is an excitement, a feeling that in one moment, my world will expand and all will be new. The larger love pod surrounding me, the air sweeter, the elementals even more alive to my knowing. A sense that I will land in this new landscape in a “blink of an eye” with a huge grin on my face.

Cloud play

Cloud play

Savoring all, the feeling of a sudden shift imminent, the grounded sense of place in this now. We are moving, yet we are so fully here. One not canceling out the other. Both making up this love! This expansive joyous love.

Now to move to engaging with the old energies around health care and insurance. We continue to do what we must in this society to stay afloat as we allow our hearts to know more freedom. May all beings be free, may all beings know that they are loved and that they are love. May all beings come to know their own beauty, just as the trees and flowers do. I so love us all.

 

Kali Breathes Her Fire

IMG_0717Ah, calm is returning to my soul. I have been in the grips of Kali’s fiery energy the past few days. Sleepless nights as I tossed and turned with my mind spinning in webs of confusion. One dear to my heart, has stepped out of the old victim, playing small energy that I had lived for many years of my life. Witnessing the unfolding brought echoes of the old pain to the surface. Seeing one holding the stance of power over, with all its many guises, brought that energy into sharp focus. The gaslighting, the manipulation, the shaming, the guilt, the lies…..all presented in technicolor for me to view.

It was exhausting to be in such energies without allowing Kali’s fire to burn it all down. I felt that I was a match ready to ignite all in a fiery conflagration. I felt the impact of the imprisonment that we have lived lifetimes under on this planet. I felt rage at the forces that feed off of humanity’s misery. My personal world was reflecting the macrocasm and my inner being was on fire as the microcosm. I am amazed that my physical form still stands!

The ocean crashes against the rocks, creating something new in its wake.

The ocean crashes against the rocks, creating something new in its wake.

At one point, a small voice said, ” You are not being spiritual.” Then a deep laugh followed by a roar from Kali. Ha! Spiritual! She quickly extinguished that voice and every cell in my being knew that this anger was truth. I had to forgo saying goodby to one who was here highlighting this energy for me, as I knew that I could burn him to cinders with a look. I sent regrets to a family gathering as the anger needed my full attention and it was not to be diluted with any niceties. Truly, it felt that I was breathing fire. One night, I ate two half pints of gelato in an attempt to cool my being down. I felt scorched from the inside out. The outside temperatures mirrored this as it seemed that all are in the fire as the intensity ramps up. It will not lessen soon but continue until there is no longer a need.

Stones balanced on a bit of sand as the tide flows out. We are called to our own balancing act as our former foundations crumble beneath us.

Stones balanced on a bit of sand as the tide flows out. We are called to our own balancing act as our former foundations crumble beneath us.

Being around the unconsciousness that is rampant on the planet, is so much more tiring than in days past. I am so grateful to have been gifted a sanctuary space to rest in. I sit here in this beautiful cottage, a tiny bird dipping its beak into a birdbath outside my window, my heart being fed by its presence. The trees all stand with me, offering their shade and strength . All of nature and the elements conspire to assist us in this evolutionary change. All is being changed. All are being given wake up calls. There is so much fear and anxiety running in the collective. Nature is a wonderful antidote. We think of her as being peace, offering peace. This is true and yet there is more.

I have known that I am a pillar of peace on this planet. Yet, here I have been, deeply engaged in anger on a personal and impersonal level. One does not negate the other. Kali has shown me the place of anger.  Peace is not without anger. Peace comes through being with all of it, without resistance. Feeling all of it. Riding the waves as they crest and smash against the rocks. Nature shows us eruptions, fires running out of control, lava spewing forth, waters rising, winds whirling. It is all part of the picture. All to bring that stability, that new firmament upon which we can begin to build the new.

Much of the new age thinking has touted a lie. Encouraging peace when fire was raging below the surface. Telling folks to think positive and all would be well. Shaming folks for their anger, their pain. A lie. Another way to harness folks’ energy while appearing in the guise of “spiritual”. It continued the work of organized religion with its oppression and guilt.

Today I feel depleted, emptied of the fire. The settling as my breath cools. I am so grateful to this body elemental that withstands such energies flowing. I am grateful to be a part of this dance.

We stand in our beauty and strength to bless all.

We stand in our beauty and strength to bless all.

I witnessed a squirrel sounding an alarm yesterday. A louder than car alarm noise, that came unbelievably from a squirrel. He stood stock still on a branch and rang his alarm for all that he was worth. No idea what it meant but it sounded like a wake up call to humanity. Wake up! Let go! Surrender and allow. It is time, past time to make a new choice. To let go of narcissism, let go of holding onto material forms of security, to ride the waves and flow with the energies which are landing in. He was brilliant at his work.

May we all live what is true and trust that it will all turn out in ways beyond our wildest dreams. This I know, all is well. It is done. We have anchored the light as we allow ourselves to be true to what is seeking expression. This is the path to peace. Hawaii is showing us this now as her eruptions destroy as well as create. New landmass is being born as what no longer serves is burnt away. Nature is a teacher if we choose to learn from her.

A Dream of Freedom

fullsizeoutput_17ecIn my dream, I was driving a flower delivery van. It was not mine but belonged to friends. I was sitting in bumper to bumper traffic. I felt pressure building inside of me, frustrated, tired. I have felt this exact energy in traffic at times, though I live my life so as to not be in commuting or heavy traffic for the most part. Yet even waiting for a red light to change on a hot day can put me in that space.

I had had enough. I turned off the engine, got out of the van and walked away. I left it sitting in traffic, not caring if it blocked others or what would become of it. I was done. So done.

Later I found myself with the friends whose van it was as well as the man who had been in the car behind me. He said that he maneuvered his car to the side of the road, then went back to the van and did the same with it. I asked why he did that and thanked him. He said no thanks were needed. He did what was in front of him, I owed him nothing.

My friends agreed. They said, ” We understand. You were done.”

fullsizeoutput_17eeThere was no blame or judgment of my action. All simply accepted that I was done and so accepted that I did what I did. I was so surprised. I had been feeling the shadow of the guilt and shame energies. I have noticed of late that these feelings can come over me but they hold no real energy…more a shadow energy of what they once were. They attempt to attach to my emotional body, but there is no longer a landing place, rather a fleeting touch down spot and then they move off.

We are becoming free! I felt such immense freedom to have no judgment placed on my actions. I saw that everyone did what they felt to do and it was all accepted. No victims, no blame. Rather each accepting what they created in their world. Amazing! I felt giddy from it all.

fullsizeoutput_17eaThis world of form is getting more interesting to be in. There are the ups and downs, the fatigue, the energy spikes and yet a calmness under it all. We are inhabiting more of our truth in each moment. Freedom….we have not breathed that air since we came to this planet. My being is hungry for it. May it expand as we let go of all that we have known and take deep breaths of this new frequency. May freedom for all manifest.

 

Disconnection From Those Closest To Our Hearts

The contrast of the beauty against the rough is alive in me.

The contrast of the beauty against the rough is alive in me.

A couple of weeks ago, I read an article talking about a purging that was happening. It stated that we would find ourselves having to disconnect from those closest to us…mates, children, parents, siblings or friends. The article stated that we had to disconnect from all the old ways of relating in order to free ourselves to move on in our sovereign state. It mentioned that we would likely reconnect in a new frequency in June.

https://ascensionenergies.com/2018/05/11/letting-go-of-all-close-connections-huge-purging/

The old and new present as we weave ourselves into our divinity.

The old and new present as we weave ourselves into our divinity.

I had noticed some of this in my life but now I am experiencing it on a whole new level. A couple of sleepless nights have happened as I process all that has come up. Transparency is the order of the day. I am being shown where I have been in judgment of others, where I have carried a protective energy for others, where I have held space and where I have given too much as well as desired to control others. Whew!

The wondrous thing about it all is how none of it has floored me as might have been the case in the past. I could look at each relationship and sift through the layers as to where my actions came from. It was enlightening. There was grief lining the pockets of much of it. A huge letting go and surrendering to trust once again. Allowing what needs to fall away and open to what will come.

IMG_0693There were moments when all I could think of was getting in my car and driving far, far away from anyone that I knew. To be in total solitude in the peaceful arms of nature. Those moments were offset by ones where I felt such immense gratitude for my life and the richness present. I ping ponged between these two states for a time.

Now I sense that I have emerged from the tunnel of confusion. I have cut all cords to those dearest to my heart. I have taken an energetic step back and breathed out a deep sigh. I have let go of any expectations of how it might look in the future. I dissolved my long held dream of community and love pod into a mist. Let it all reform. Let the new emerge in an organic way.

On my walk, I came around a corner and almost collided with this deer. We both paused in a moment of connection.

On my walk, I came around a corner and almost collided with this deer. We both paused in a moment of connection.

I am showing up yet with a new stance. I am present with a looseness that is spacious and freeing, for myself and all others who dance within my sphere. I am feeling that ability to love everything that touches my life with a fulsome heart. I had thought that I was there yet this recent disconnection illuminated for me the many strands that I was continuing to hold in place.

Ah…how dear we are as we let go of so many programs and ways of interacting with one another, with ourselves. We are the tenderest of beings, so desirous of doing good, of being of assistance. We have been programmed in a million ways that kept us limited. How grateful I am to take a breath in this new space, knowing that each shift finds more oxygenated air to breathe, wider arenas to play in. Invoking grace for us all as we make this movement.

Spring is Singing Its Joy

A rope swing in the redwoods, awaiting summer swims.

A rope swing in the redwoods, awaiting summer swims.

It has been months since I felt inspired to write. Long dark days spent in a land of ice and snow, keeping a flame alive within. Now I have returned to California which truly lives up to the reputation of my childhood dreams. I grew up in the Northeast where seasons were to be taken seriously, in all their harshness as well as their shimmering beauty. In high school, California held a dream that many aspired to. I always felt that it would be dreamed up, so it was not on my radar as a goal. Yet, I landed here decades ago and return like a bird to its nesting place. Indeed it is where I raised my three children and now I am back with my eldest and her wee one, savoring the Spring freshness and beauty. She and her child were born here and have returned to dig deep into the land.

My spiritual home is a place in West Australia, a vast land of eucalyptus and red soil, wild coastlines and a humming song that comes singing out of the land. I have not been back in more than a decade. Its beat continues to inform my heart and its song plays inside my being. One day, the timing will be right and I will land in with both feet. For now, I sing the songs of the earth as she makes her great evolutionary leap into newness. There are new notes of joy bursting forth that carry such harmonies of love.

A bamboo teepee planted with pole beans for our little one to enjoy.

A bamboo teepee planted with pole beans for our little one to enjoy.

We are witnessing the notes become physical as our bodies grow in lovelight. It has been a rough and wild ride these past months as the physical increases in density and movement is felt as if quicksand is sucking at our ankles with each step. Whew. The worst of it is behind us as we step lighter in the frequencies that flow to free us. We are moving into the ever present moment as old ways die out. A thought will arise….”Tomorrow I will get up early and exercise”….and just as quickly it sinks down into a well, not to be heard of again. It seems so much is a shadow of old thinking, old patterning that is falling away, an echo of former ways of moving in this world. There is no longer personal will power, it has been turned over to our higher aspects who view all from a broader perspective. I find myself flowing in the present, a sea of now and now and again, now. There is this scent of jasmine, the colors of green outside, the earth I dig in as I weed and plant our garden, the giggles of my toddler grandson as he brings his imaginary world to light. We swim in the saltwater pool, tumble on the grass and crawl along like earwigs as he chases me to pinch me. My daughter loves to cook nourishing meals, I love to create flower bouquets for all the rooms in the house. It feels like a dream that I move in, slow and sweet. We nap, we snack, we play, we sing, we read. Then we do it all again, each day, each moment new and fresh like his open face looking up at me with such expectation of love. He knows only a world of love and lives it, teaching us all what truly matters.

A recent trip to the coast to swim in its beauty.

A recent trip to the coast to swim in its beauty.

I am grateful for this dream time, for the play and laughter. There were so many years of harshness, doing my work, struggling alone. Now we are at a time where we will begin to create with our hearts. Where all that we desire, can come with ease. The weariness drops from my shoulders as I rest in the knowing that all is well. Our efforts are paying off…..the rewards are on their way, many already here as our perspective shifts and we see with new eyes. Inspiration flows in on waves as does rest and stillness. The flow carries notes that uplift. As I listen to my grandson converse with the trees and plants, the wind and water, the table and car, I know that he came knowing the truth of our oneness with all life.

The forest and sunlight creating spotlights of beauty.

The forest and sunlight creating spotlights of beauty.

We are basking in that knowing, just like the lizards we imitate as we lie in the sunshine after a cold plunge in the pool. Let us savor this in between time, the space that exists as we cross over into our new lives. Each note of joy creates a landing place for our feet as we flow forward into the golden age of lovelight. We are singing our way home.

 

Moments

My foamed milk and cinnamon gave me a message of love this morning!

My foamed milk and cinnamon gave me a message of love this morning!

Stepping gingerly into a scalding bath, first the legs, slowly lowering my buttocks to sit on the bottom. Easing back to rest on the lovely slope of the tub with a deep sigh. I breath deeply into the warmth and silence. Once comfortable in the heat, I stand up and open the window that is at chest level. It is minus eleven degrees outside and the window ledge has a few inches of snow built up against it. I can touch its whiteness. I sit back down, lying back to the bliss that awaits. The frigid air streams in, flowing like a river of steam as it wafts over the top of the tub and makes its way over the edge into the room. I take gulps of it, clean and fresh like a mountain stream. There is a hill behind the condo over which the air streams, coming down from one of the summits of Mont Royal, the peak that Montreal is built around. After the closed in feel of forced air that is necessary and comforting that heats this place, the coolness is a balm to my being. To lie in heat with the crispness touching my face, caressing my neck……thIs. Yes, this is a moment of beauty. I savor it.

This is life. Moments.

fullsizeoutput_163eMy daughter called early, though for her she had been in her day for a couple of hours already , living by a toddler’s early rise. I could feel the tug of her wanting. She was facing another snowbound day with her little one and she was weary. She is a sunshine gal, most at home with water and surf and heat. I can understand wanting to hitch your being to someone’s else’s energy for a time. Wanting that pull up the hill, a way to survive the monotony of whiteness that is a sea surrounding her in this winter landscape. I love time with my grandson. I miss him on the days that I do not see him. Yet, I must refuel my stores. I must source my own energy. I have been locked in two speeds for so long. Movement and energy for the family, for my daughter, for a project…..and then total collapse where the couch and netflix and ice cream and chocolate and salty crackers are my whole world. I seek a new life. I intend this year to be my year of coming back to the land of the living. I have been present and showed up when needed in many ways. Now I want to show up in a more connected way with more people and more life.

Misty morning

Misty morning

I desire to be a part of a writer’s group. I desire to have friends that I see regularly in the physical!  I desire a home of my own after twelve years of nomadic living. I desire to feel grounded to place, to the earth. I desire a lover, a beloved to share the moments. I desire an art studio to create in. I desire a community where co- creation is the norm. I desire to wake up like my grandson, with such joy that the day has dawned once again and it is no longer “dodo” time, which is sleep time for him in his French vocabulary.

All of this awaits us as we traverse the fields of unconsciousness and penetrate all with our lovelight. It is happening. We are here and we will not give up. All will be brought back to love. All will come to fruition. The sleepless nights, the fatigue, the hot and cold waves, the itching, the isolation, the scarcity of resources, the living out of time and out of step with this reality……all of it is being transformed.

Hence, savoring the moments as they arise.

Solitude and Community

fullsizeoutput_144bI am sitting with a warm drink, looking out at the snow covered hill behind this condo. I feel so grateful for my solitude which has a new flavor these days. Are you sensing the greater connection that is happening? It is the knowing that those whom I love, are residing within the same field of lovelight as I am. There is no separation. I can savor being in my own energy field here and at the same time, feel the heart connection streaming and weaving between and amongst my dear ones. These threads of liquidlovelight are growing in their capacity to weave tapestries of immense beauty and form. Our imaginings are about to become physical as we bring heaven to earth.

Moss wreath from my daughter-in-love's hands.

Moss wreath from my daughter-in-love’s hands.

We are preparing to live in the love pods as we each step into our sovereignty. This will allow us to live in community in a way that nourishes and expands our lovelight. I sense that December is the deep cleaning phase of our emotional bodies as we release all that has been a part of our journey to this now moment. It is time to let go of sadness, of the traumas, of the pain, of any feelings of being unloved or rejected. Now we step into our mastery, knowing how loved and cherished we truly are. All is sourced from the One Source, within our hearts. We no longer need to look to another to validate or direct us. We open to our own internal GPS system and allow it to move us. We surrender in deep relief to the knowing that our higher self, our I AM presence has it all in hand. Everything that enters our world is there for our own growth and enhancement. Yes, even the parts that do not feel good in the moment. If we allow and trust it all, the gift will show itself.

Winterberries collected from their swampy homes in Vermont by my daughter-in-love. Now gracing my windowsill with their cheery red.

Winterberries collected from their swampy homes in Vermont by my daughter-in-love. Now gracing my windowsill with their cheery red.

Yesterday afternoon, I lie in bed as a pool of sunshine drew me in. I had opened the window to feel the cool breeze flow down the snowy hillside from the forest of trees above.  I snuggled deep in the duvet, as the sylphs flowing in that air, sent a wild stirring to my blood. Something huge is about to burst forth. December is the time of the waning light as we move to the Solstice. Candles and starlight feed us as we go deep within to find the flame of our own heart light. Many are feeling this drawing in, this time of reflection. We are gazing in the pool of our own being and choosing who we desire to be in this new landscape. We can drop the heavy burden of the past and flow freely into the present. What a gift! We can let go of the crown of thorns we have worn with such fortitude. It is time to hold our heads high to receive our crown of Christ light. Oh the joy!

Wreath making in  Vermont

Wreath making in
Vermont

This wild stirring of my blood was enhanced on my recent trip to Vermont to see my sons and their loves. I felt the edges of the dream come alive in my being. The beautiful farmhouses and open landscape filled my heart. The gently rolling hills soothed some deep part of me as I met and listened to folks who are dug deep into the rhythms of the earth with its seasons of change. I could feel my love pod shimmering just out of sight. It draws closer as our hearts weave their lovelight. As each one reaches for more joy, more spaciousness, more is created for the All. As we honor our own needs and desires, we honor that in one another. We let go of duty and old programming that insists we adhere to the old ways of relationship. We move where our joy takes us and trust all will find their way. Clearing and walking our path of joy, offers a wider pathway for those following.

fullsizeoutput_142cMay our dreaming see all beings with enough food and shelter and the absolute knowing that they are loved and cherished. May we cherish one another as we warm ourselves at the fire of each one’s heart light.