All Foundations Being Shaken

One of my son, Gabriel's paintings. It captures my sense of excitement. The structures are being raised, in preparation for our arrival. There is so much anticipation in the air of a good time to come.

One of my son, Gabriel’s paintings. It captures my sense of excitement. The structures are being raised, in preparation for our arrival. There is so much anticipation in the air of a good time to come.

I titled this a couple of weeks ago. Time is surely shifting and disappearing on us. As we knew it would. Two weeks ago, I felt weighed down with intense emotions, each day amped up another notch. It did feel as if I was hanging upside down and being shaken from my very root. I cannot recall any specifics now, only a general feeling. That is the way of it. We no longer need to hold on to anything. The waves flow through and we allow them free movement. At times, that can feel joy filled, at other times, it is almost unbearable.

What I know to be true, is that everything happening now is purposeful. That it is all returning us to unity. That love is flowing like never before and all is well. That knowing does not desert me, even in times of pain. I am grateful for having surrendered control of my being over to Sophia, my higher, no, my true self….there is no longer a need for the old way of ordering it. Nor is there a need for different names yet Sophia flows sweetly off my tongue.

One of my potato chips brought me the reminder that I am loved. I find hearts like this most days, in strange and wonderful ways.

One of my potato chips brought me the reminder that I am loved. I find hearts like this most days, in strange and wonderful ways.

I am in awe of how we are loved. I have recently been through three surgeries. I have spent 59 years without tapping into the medical system except for having my tonsils removed at the age of five. Now this year, I have had three surgeries to remove errant cells on my back, my nose, and my jawline. It was a process of following the yellow brick road. One thing led to the next and then the next. My conscious mind did not kick in till I was pretty much through the whole ordeal. It was like awakening from a dream as I wondered why I had chosen this road of having pieces of flesh cut away. As a child, I had thought it all barbaric and knew that one day, light and sound would be the tools used, not knives. Yet, that part of me was quiet as I knew only to follow the path ahead, step by step. My knowing said it was all purposeful in ways I would not yet understand. I offered it all up, trusting. Trust is the keynote of these times. Trusting ourselves in every way. Not looking to another or any outside source to tell us what is right or wrong.

All of this has kept me still. Kept me from my love of camping, of seeing new vistas, of being in majestic landscapes. It has been a hot summer of stillness. The heat, purposeful as we ignite into our true fiery natures. We are being purified in these flames of love, the elements assisting with the heat that threatens to combust this old reality. As the earth heats, so do our emotional bodies, which we see erupting around the globe. All has to come to the surface, all has to be seen, be felt, in order to transform into the love that is truth. We are being purified from the inside out. All the old stuff, rising into the flame to be consumed.

When one of us collapses in fatigue, another is nearby shining their love for us.

When one of us collapses in fatigue, another is nearby shining their love for us.

We hold the vision of the love pods, the communities of light forming. This fiery passage is taking us there. The refiner’s fire is rendering us impervious to all that is not love. As we move through this passage, which requires us to stand alone, we sense the excitement awaiting us on the other side. The reunions with our families of light, from the stars, from the inner earth, from the multiverse, await. When our steps falter, we reach out to one another. We offer that helping hand in the form of conversation, a hug, an email. We breathe in one another’s strength until we once again find our own. We have waited through eons of time, to be here now. This is the testing, the time to know ourselves as masters come again.

It is time to let go of fighting and pushing against. It is time for unity born of love. How can it make sense to unite in peace against someone or something? It is time to take the next step. To stand for love, for the truth of unity that no longer requires an enemy to move against. That is how all that is not love, is disarmed. We no longer feed it our energy. We witness it in love. We offer to bring it through our bodies. At times, I may sit with an energy that does not feel easy….for an hour or for days. I allow it space, I allow it the embrace of my love light. No resistance offered, only the love. Energy moves, it shifts. Some comfortable, some not. It is not important. What is important, is the love, only the love.

This tree did not resist the fence, it simply enveloped it.

This tree did not resist the fence, it simply enveloped it.

We have been trained to focus so much energy on what we eat, how we move, what we do, what we believe. All of that falls away as we come into the trust of ourselves. As we witness how we are so loved and cared for, we can let go. We can trust that our hearts are safe. It all begins with trusting ourselves to care for and love ourselves. As all others are part of the Oneness, there is only the one to love. It becomes so simple.

We have been children playing a game that we have now outgrown. It no longer interests us to live in separation and duality. Now we want to try a new game, one where laughter and joy abound. It begins with my heart. It begins with yours.

Adjusting to the New

The new is new! Imagine that! There is no pattern, no routines, no predictability, no a+b=c. It is all new. Our humanness has been entrained to patterns, to habits, to practices as ways of orienting ourselves in this world. We have sought to tether ourselves through these anchor points in order to feel safe, to feel held. Now the game has changed and we must change with it. Our Mother Earth has decided to be more of herself, radiate more of her true starry being. As we are a part of her, we are given the opportunity to follow her lead. As a mother, she does not demand, rather nudges and suggests that this might be the path of ease and grace. Yet, if we decide to head towards the thorny path, she allows that too.

Mermaid self knows how to flow.

Mermaid self knows how to flow.

What does the new look like? Yesterday is a good example. After a number of days of regular exercise, it was a rest day, no exercise. Yesterday I wrote that it had been years since I had exercised in such a way, but I recalled in the middle of the night, that I had exercised each morning last spring with my roommate in Mount Shasta. I asked my body, ” Wait, is this simply a spring energy that I am feeling?” No, she told me it was the new energies surging through and spring added its impetus. During my awake period last night, my mind parroted the phrase, “It takes 21 days to form a habit. Now you have to start counting all over.” Really? Oh my, so interesting to watch the thoughts that attempted to catch my attention. I laughed at that, and said,  ” I am not trying to form a habit. I am flowing with the now.” We have been trained to view ourselves as good or bad, worthy or not worthy by external criteria: if I exercise every day, I am good. If I eat this, I am bad. The new requires a letting go of self judgment. Can we be good with what is? Can we allow our bodies to lead? Can we trust ourselves?

That truly is the bigger question, do I trust me? Do I honor my own guidance? Do I take responsibility for my life? Do I trust my voice above all others? Can I take all of it in and sing a song of gratitude for who I am and how I flow in this world?

IMG_3032When we sense that change is upon us, a friend and I do a card reading with an old deck from the seventies, The Stargate deck. I asked what the prime energy was for me in this next three months period. Once again, the cards spoke such wisdom and truth. Of course, I chose the cards and their placement, eyes closed, hand allowed its knowing as it picked each one. It showed that the seeker is behind me as is the death process. I was in a tunnel for years, focused on the inner initiations, taking me deeper and deeper into my core. I felt the sense of celebration and joy as I have reached that center space deep in the earth and myself. The new focus is of a cherry! All of life holds sweetness to be savored. The sun is shining, the sea glistening and I am experiencing that radiant light. Frantic paddling like a duck is no longer needed. Rather, the mirror radiates my beauty and light into the world as I see myself as that light. I am the star of laughter, the player in this realm. I now have the perspective to see further, wider, deeper  so as to know the patterns of perfection swirling beneath it all. The top card, the issue is the dancer. I saw myself dancing on this earth, with each step, I was flowing liquidlovelight and rose light. I saw the earth moving and flowing, volcanos and earthquakes. I saw my dancing steps assisting, along with others, to mitigate the force, allowing the most ease possible. I saw September rise up and part like a wave and a new firmament appear. I saw myself greeting family from inner earth and the multiverse as we rejoiced in earth freed from her traumatic past, and ourselves with her.

Have loved this piece in the art museum in San Francisco.

Have loved this piece in the art museum in San Francisco.

My role, in this now, to dance in that frequency of the new with all of my heart and passion. I love this role! I am to be more present, more visible in my dancing form. For weeks, I have been claiming my dancing self, a vision and dream from childhood come full circle. Get ready folks, new roles are opening up and it takes strength to experience the joy fully. We can live this, it is our birthright. Hallelujah!

Trusting

The morning sun streams in to spotlight this lily each day, filling me with wonder.

The morning sun streams in to spotlight this lily each day, filling me with wonder.

Musing about my life today. My heart longs for community and deep connection yet I have lived the past number of years, moving about, not settling in anywhere. Connections are made through work, shared interests, social gatherings, putting down roots in a place.  A conundrum, desiring something and yet not taking any of the routes offered towards it.

This is where faith comes in. I have such a deep faith and trust in myself to follow that inner light, which sometimes is the faintest of glimmers, leaving a barely discernible path. What I do know: I have traveled about seeding love light for years as I was guided. I step down light as it comes onto the planet to make it more useable for others. I work deep under the earth where the caverns of liquidlovelight can be found. I weave light. I anchor new frequencies which prevent me from that settling in place that I have yearned for. Yet, I know that I will live and experience my heart’s desire. It is about divine timing and how quickly we can adapt and integrate the new light levels. It is about believing and knowing it is seeing. We believe it so strongly and purely, that we then see it in our world.

One small tree, lighting up the whole area with its fiery flame.

One small tree, lighting up the whole area with its fiery flame.

There has been huge influxes of light of late with more to come this week. My body is flaccid with a belly that I would rather not have.  I would like to have energy and strength to do more than take a walk but that is not now. If I reach for a thought to exercise as of old or deny myself chocolate or sweets, it feels like I am underwater and impossible to reach the open air. I heard someone talk of fasting for 40 days and it made me laugh as I have no capacity to do that. The same with any kind of mediation practice. I am walking my ascension walk the other way…eating warm, heavy foods to keep this body going. Watching movies and reading books to keep my mind engaged while the greater part of me floats. The idea of setting a number of days to do anything is a concept that feels like trying to hold water in my hand….it simply disappears. Using the idea of time and my will to do anything is no longer part of my make up. I came in with a powerful will. Long ago, I surrendered it to my highest aspect and to the Creator. This has felt different over time as the idea of will, changed its nature for me. Now, I feel like a reed in the ocean, swaying with the movement of the currents, no locomotion on my own.  The energies move me here and there, up and down. I understand so little of it.

The colors of autumn have been singing their notes so loudly.

The colors of autumn have been singing their notes so loudly.

Trust….that is where I live. Allowing the flow, not much making sense in the ways we have been taught. I get glimmers of a feeling, like a soft breeze blowing past, whispering in my ear. I booked a ticket to go see my grandson and daughter in January. I desire to go and yet I sense I will be with them sooner. I sense that even the idea of a month or a particular day will fall away like an archaic language that is no longer of any use. I sense I am here for a short time yet have no knowing or feeling of a next step. I sense myself being much more physical, exploring and playing on a grand scale yet I move in a tiny circle of bed, couch, chair, walk. I watch movies of folks surfing, skiing, riding horses…I dream it for now.

Today I went out to do an errand and was going to make another stop when a wave came over me. I drove directly back to my little cottage, fed myself something and collapsed into bed where I was taken down into a deep sleep of a few hours. There is a sense of floating in an undersea world or deep within the earth. There are pinholes of connection, moments with friends, dear hearts……then down again into the silence and stillness. A little bit of companionship goes a long way. I need sweeping spaces alone where hours disappear and the moon shines down on me when the daylight had just dawned. Maybe I have become a creature of the deep, lifting up its head to catch a beam of sunlight then diving down again. There is such pressure rising from within this planet and streaming in from the multiverse. I feel it so strongly on both ends, collapsing and expanding me at the same time. We are being made into new beings. I am so grateful for this body that has stayed with me through so much.

I feel like a babe in its mother’s womb, floating in a protected space, knowing there is a new world awaiting my arrival. Trusting the timing, trusting the process, trusting the love to deliver me.

 

 

Musings of the Week, Are We There Yet?

IMG_0115These days move with no rhyme or reason. One day, I am exhausted, spend the day in bed, reading, dreaming….so present elsewhere. Another day, I awake with energy, it comes in bursts. I wanted to be outside for more of the day, beyond the confines of the backyard. I packed a lunch and a notebook and went off to the lake. I ended up walking halfway around it before turning back. It is a seven mile loop that you can walk in the summer. There are a couple of footbridges that are removed in winter, hence, the retracing of my route.

I sat against a tree trunk to eat my lunch, drinking in the scent of pine resin released by the spring warmth. I realized how much I love that smell and the feeling of being surrounded by nature’s beauty. How camping allows that essence to seep into my pores and settle into my bones. I thought of the Grand Teton Mountains, the sparkling clear lakes of British Columbia, the shores of the Pacific Northwest and so many places I have yet to explore. I want that strength to return that allows me to be in the elements day and night. It takes stamina and energy to be outdoors, to make the fire, cook the food. Everything is a bit more of a challenge. At present, I do not have that energy. I am grateful to have a bed awaiting me, a kitchen and bathroom at hand.

A heart rock I picked up and placed in a tree to shine at passerbys.

A heart rock I picked up and placed in a tree to shine at passerbys.

I waded into the water until my feet were red and numb. It felt so good to feel that sharp aliveness. So much of my time is lived in a shimmery space, neither here nor there, that there is a joy in the physical sensations. I am ready to be more present in this now, with energy and enthusiasm for everything. Yet, I find myself in this space of disconnection. I am unplugged. I know that I am at work on other planes, creating new connections, new alignments. There is no pushing the timing, no skipping ahead as my weary heart desires. The patience pause…..I have become good at this. Why? Because there is nothing else. I have fully surrendered to my higher presence, to her wisdom gleaned from a broader perspective. Do I get tired of this half life? Yes……I feel beyond weary of it all.

A couple of dear friends of late have expressed concern. Am I sure that my guidance is correct? Does it make sense to continue to follow a path of Being when it has gone on for so long? Years, not simply weeks or months. We live in a world that values action and prizes productivity. I hold an extreme note of Being that sounds discordant. My friend asks, “What about creativity, are you painting?” No, only in my mind. It feels so heavy to think of gathering materials and claiming a space to create. I can lie on my bed and make use of sunbeams and cool breezes and weave them into structures and form. I dream of creating outdoor spaces that when you enter, your cells sing a song of harmony as your own beauty arises. I see towers of shimmering silk that float in undulating waves to bring shots of color and sound to those on the ground.

Everything in this reality feels dense and heavy, my body, the effort of cooking or cleaning. It is not that I do not desire to create, my palms are alive with the passion but await new tools. I want to create with light and mist and clay of the earth. All blended in new tones and forms.

Rainbows dancing in my palm delighted me.

Rainbows dancing in my palm delighted me.

In this now, I enjoy what is here. The bursts of energy that allow my washing to be done, the line dried sheets that offer me their fresh scent for sleep, the lilac wafting its heady scent by my bed, the thunder and lightening show lighting up the sky out my window this night, the rain falling on the roof and sweetening the air flowing over me from the open window above my bed. Gratitude is there in every breath. I take none of it for granted.

I just accidentally clicked on the notes icon and found this I wrote a month or so ago. Not sure if I used it in a blog but it fits this moment:

The trust and faith bones in our being are strengthening with each surrender, each letting go. Ours is to breathe it each moment. To know and feel it within our hearts, that the Universe is conspiring to bring us our deepest desires in ways more magnificent than our imagining allows.

Despite the weariness of soul and heart, this continues to ring true for me. It is getting closer, I feel it in my cells. I sense movement up ahead and an aspect from bygone days feels the excitement of being the one up in the crows nest, crying, “Land ho!”

 

 

 

 

aligning

The Lull

The dancing diamond light delights me.

The dancing diamond light delights me.

Sweet dreamy days followed by nights of little sleep, back aching in an elemental way. In the middle of the night chat with a friend on the other side of the sea, she asked me if my back was related to Gaia. My body shuddered a resounding yes. So many I know are experiencing intense physical symptoms at present. Gaia then gifted me a vision of her shaking off an outer layer. It is time. We are part of her, as much as the trees and mountains and oceans. We  move with her and feel her as she does us. I saw this physical pain departing, being shook off as this layer departs. As the dis ease moves up and out, it is magnified in our experience. We are called to breathe through this movement, allowing the inner earthquake and tsunami to move through unchecked. This layer of density has completed its work, we no longer need pain to teach us. We are stepping into a time of more fluidity and ease, a time of radiant health.

Time, itself,  has become so fluid and incomprehensible. I am called up short when someone mentions a month or a date. My mind searches for where that fits….is May soon or long ago? The old linear pathways are dissolving and it takes focus and effort to place myself on them. Each moment we are invited in, to live it fully. Past and future fade in its embrace.

Like many, there is this creative energy stirring and swirling. Yet there is this pause, this lull, this stillness. We are so active on the inner planes, aligning all for the coming equinox and eclipse cycle. On the physical level, we are being held still by our bodies, our wisdom keepers. Now is the time to dream big, to trust with every cell in our bodies, that a new world is being birthed through us, with us. The trust and faith bones in our being are  strengthening with each surrender, each letting go. Ours is to breathe it each moment. To know and feel it within our hearts, that the Universe is conspiring to bring us our deepest desires in ways more magnificent than our imagining allows.

imageFor me, there is no doing. There is the being of appreciation; for the hummingbirds that visit the manzanita bushes’ pink bells outside the window, the mountain that glows in the moonlight in her bright whiteness, keeping me company through the night, the roommate who offers me a delicious smoothie elixir for a morning drink, the list goes on. I do not have to search for things to appreciate, they are all about me. We are becoming part of the song of gratitude that the elemental kingdom has sung for so long. We are singing to one another with our hearts full of love. Our Mother Earth sings us a lullaby and we coo back at her. My back sings a tune that I sway to, my feet touch the ground and feel the swirl of its motion. Everything is alive in song and movement.

Pathway through the woods.

Pathway through the woods.

We were taught to fix ourselves to a point on every level. Now we are asked to let go of our anchors so that we can float with our mother as she rides this expansion wave. Think of children playing, holding hands and running free. If one sits down, holds to the ground, the line of movement comes to a halt. We are asked to let go, to allow her to fly free without being anchors,  checking her movement. Let the ship fly! Let our beings fly with our mother in an exhilarating free fall. She is our mother. We can trust her love. We can trust ourselves to know where to move, how to flow with the currents of change. We have waited for this time, now that it is upon us, let us savor the ride in all its mystery. It is the ride of our lives!

 

Equinox With Its Gift of Balance

The crystal clear water of Lake Crescent that I bottled to add to waters along my journey. It felt so balanced on our skins, assisting in this process.

The crystal clear water of Lake Crescent that I bottled to add to waters along my journey. It felt so balanced on our skins, assisting in this process.

What amazing times we are in! There is change everywhere, inside and out. I am back from the Pacific Northwest loop where I found incredible beauty with water and mountains that fed my soul. I have to laugh at the way my mind works. I had thought to find a place that resonated and to call home. My personality self desired this greatly, after all, I had clearly stated to Sophia, my higher self, that I was available for the summer months but wanted a landing spot by October.

What happened was that by about 4pm each day, I found myself so spent that there was not a vestige of energy left for house hunting. Hardly any for forming words. I felt as like a wind up toy that simply stopped and there was nothing to it but to rest and await the next infusion of energy. I would intend to check things out, yet it did not happen. Instead, I would be given the next step on a journey that was in motion….not settling in as I had thought. My sister and aunt popped in and the knowing came that traveling to visit them was next. My mind questioned, “How does this help me find a home?” The answer was, “Trust.” I squirmed a bit with that then happened upon a recent post from Karen Bishop who writes of as ascension changes. She stated that folks on the front edge of this movement were being kept from landing in anywhere. As she went on to explain the larger perspective, I felt relief and joy flood through me. Yes! She described all that I had intuitively felt was my truth. That experience reminded me why it is so important to share our journeys, as one line can confirm our knowing and strengthen our resolve.

The mists are clearing for us all.

The mists are clearing for us all.

My computer and my brain have been on the fritz so writing was more of a challenge than I  could muster. For the past few days, the earth has been pulsing energy up through my feet, my legs, my hips and onward. Interesting sensation. Last night as I was preparing for bed, energies were pulsing about my head in various spots, almost calling me to lie down. When I did, I was tucked in gently about my torso, the field vibrating with almost forms. I knew my beloved was present as were many of my guides and angels. With that, I drifted off to sleep.

This equinox feels tremendous to me as we are being gifted with so much newness. The past two days, the light has held a new quality to it. My senses are waking up in a new way. Right now, there is a dancing flame of energy on my crown chakra. I love feeling and sensing all this! The earth is releasing old memories of pain, emotional, physical and invites us to do the same. A friend and I walked by the river yesterday and realized in our talk that I have been working with the perpetrators of “evil”, holding them in a field of liquidlovelight as their shame and horror of their actions plays in front of them. I wake with images so intense in my heart and am asked to love it all. My friend has been feeling the sorrow of all the victims and working to releasing that. It is on such a massive scale now as the cosmos is poised to transmute it as our earth mother shakes it all off. She is stepping into her stardom and needs us to follow suit. We cannot move into the new trailing chains of pain or shame or sorrow. The doorway is narrow and requires one to drop everything, to surrender completely to the love of the Creator and of one’s own free will, step across.

The old is collapsing as we build the new under our feet with our love and trust.

The old is collapsing as we build the new under our feet with our love and trust.

My soul rejoices for us all! We have made it to here. There is now a firmament to catch our footfall. It may appear only after we have lifted our foot to step in complete trust, but it is appearing! Well done! Well done! Breathe deeply of this new air and allow it to rejuvenate yourself. I can feel my cells and body coming into radiant health. I feel my bones elongating as I will grow taller by a few inches. I have experienced the anxious mind chatter, quiet and a deep peace pervade my being. We have arrived. That is what is important. All the details  of where/how/when/ what will be sorted out. Take this moment to feel the balance and peace that this day offers. Pat yourself on the back that you lived to see and feel this day. Peace on earth is real. Claim it in your heart as I do in mine. I love us all so!

Birthday Ponderings

Dancing with the diamond light.

Dancing with the diamond light.

Today the calender states that I am 58 years old. Throughout my “frumpy forties” , as I called those years of numbness and pain, I had looked forward to my “fabulous fifties”, knowing somehow that those would be my years to shine. Indeed, at fifty, my world as I knew it fell apart, and the journey to myself began. Today, I survey the landscape I stand upon with a smile.

There is no more looking to escape pain, no more closing myself off from joy, no more “duty girl”, trying to please. There is freedom, there is love, there is quietness, there is richness and there is knowing. I know that I am love. After begging for direction from on high for a year and being told, to “be”, I have truly settled into that path and claimed it for my own. I was given to understand that my role in this ascension process was to open a pathway of being. After fifty years of doing, “being” was not anything that I understood. I have anguished over it, rallied against it, judged myself harshly, been judged by others and yet……walked into it with everything I had. Surrendering over and over again to that inner voice’s insistence that this was the way. Trusting even when I was terrified, stepping forward even when I wanted to run back into the known and familiar.

A rope swing in the redwoods inviting me back to jump into its crystal pool.

A rope swing in the redwoods inviting me back to jump into its crystal pool.

Just yesterday, a friend shared that I had helped her to let go of judgment. She related that she would find herself judging my path, “Why can’t Linda just settle down and get a job?” (Believe me, for everyone who asked that question, I asked it of myself thousand of times!) Yet she saw me hold my tone of beingness, over and over which she says allowed her to loosen some of her fears of life. If I could live without structure or form, she could trust her own life more fully as well as appreciate the structure her job, groups, and family provide. I so appreciate that she has chosen to remain my friend, despite the fears my path has brought up in her at times.

As I sit here in front of the fire in the hours before dawn, sipping a cup of coffee, hot liquid warming me, I feel so blessed. I am so grateful to myself for listening to Sophia, my I AM presence and finding in her, such a devoted friend. I know that the hard times are over…….and there were many of them in this fifth decade of my life. That is now past as we truly step into the age of Aquarius, my birth sign, my time to shine. All that has led to this moment now fades into completion, a story ended as I am birthed anew.

At times, this path has been stepping into the mist with complete trust.

At times, this path has been stepping into the mist with complete trust.

In this new story, which I begin this day, I am a woman who knows her worth. I am liquidlovelight flowing forth in cascades of dancing colors. I can view all aspects of myself with tenderness. The fact that I do not always show up for others yet do show up for myself, has been a life changer. I can see a middle path arising, where we all show up for ourselves, allowing us to fully be present with one another. I can almost touch Shambhala, its energies seeping into this reality with its joy. I do not know the “how” of creating our new earth. I simply know my tone and choose to sing it as purely as I can. I can hear your tone as well, so beautiful and true. Together, our hearts desiring peace, abundance, freedom and love for all beings on this planet, we are co-creating the new earth.

I am this mushroom, raising its brilliance from the darkness that was.

I am this mushroom, raising its brilliance from the darkness that was.

Last night I spoke with the Creator and dear Sophia stating my sense of completion. I could go home now, mission over or I could begin a new story, take part in a new play. I felt the deep fatigue in my soul, weariness from sloughing through the mud of the old. To rest in the arms of love……oh yes. I was then given a peek behind the scenes to come. Tears fell at the beauty, and I knew I wanted a chance to take part. My mind has its fears; will I have enough money to continue to support myself, where is my place on this earth, will I find my community, my love pod, will I have a home to call my own, will I have a partner…..on and on it questions. My heart pats it lovingly on the head and smiles. I am a beloved of the Creator, I am cared for mightily. There is joy unending awaiting me. This new story has a fairy tale ending created by and for me. I am dreaming it into being with each breath. My heart overflows with gratitude and love for the being that I am as I step into my new life. I embrace each of you in this energy of rebirth and rejoice. Hallelujah! Happy birthday to me, sweet Linda Marie.

 

 

Being Blown Out of Our Comfort Zones Into the New

The wind blowing through the palms.

The wind blowing through the palms.

I awoke to howling winds and sunshine. Palm fronds crashing down, pots overturned and the restless wind, pausing and then surging about me. The new moon occurs in two days time but its energy is already making itself known….,and how! This re-birthing is serious business and none are escaping its effects. The wind is a gift, seeking to take all that we are willing to release. If ever there was a time to let go, it is now. I am so appreciative of the elementals and the way that they work with us, for our highest good. My nervous system does not like the wind but my soul is standing with arms outstretched, saying, “Cleanse me, sweep me clean, take all the dross and hear my gratitude!”

The astrology reports that I read this week pointed to this being at time of getting out of our comfort zones, a grand game of musical chairs about to commence as our chairs are pulled from under us and we must move to find a new seat. Our fears come up and part of us wants to cling to the familiar, believing it offers safety. The only safety is to be found in our hearts, resting with our Creator. All else is an illusion. We are spiritual beings, evolution is our game. We love musical chairs! We desire to move and grow. We might need to remind ourselves of this but when we feel into our hearts, we know it is true.

I sense that we have new orders burning holes in our pockets. We are feeling the tension as the signal for ripping open the envelope is about to be given. We know we will find our directions; where to go, whom to meet, what our new roles will be. I sense a quantum leap for all humanity is close at hand. It makes us restless like the wind outside, moving through the branches in waves that seem almost angry at times. We are ready, we have prepared. We have cleared, let go, faced our demons, studied and grown. Now it comes down to trust. Trusting divine timing, trusting ourselves to act when called, trusting the light to reveal the reality of love about us.

A butterfly that was taking its morning drink as i was cutting a lilac bouquet.

A butterfly that was taking its morning drink as i was cutting a lilac bouquet.

I was shown once again the beautiful weaving that takes place with everything that comes into my world. I stepped out of my comfort zone the other night to watch the Matrix movie with my son and his girlfriend. They had been suggesting it for months and each time I said, “I am not ready.” I am a Pollyanna type gal, and watching violence is not in my comfort zone. The day had arrived when I said yes. I spent about half the movie shielding my eyes under a blanket yet absorbed it. There was one scene I looked up in time to have imprinted within. Neo, the hero is being shot at by dozens of bullets. He holds out his hand and says, “NO, no more.” The bullets stop before they reach him, his command in action. He chose to no longer engage, to neutralize the energy directed at him. He had found his power.

I was on the inner planes, doing some support work for a friend who had called out for help with a negative force she felt was attacking her through one she knew. As I was enfolding her in love, strengthening her communion with that knowing, and doing the same for the one she had been engaged with, I suddenly felt the energy of Neo in that moment from the film. I saw the illusion of anything but love, the separation that it caused. I knew myself as love in every cell of my being. I knew that any force in the universe that stood opposed to this love, would be melted by the flame of love that was flowing through my heart. I knew that all that appeared dark or destructive, was seeking to be enfolded in this love. It was immensely powerful. I grew in stature and breathed flames of love, my red dragon flowing her fiery nature through me. At the same time, my breasts experienced the let down feeling of nursing as the Mother’s milk of love released in me. We are wondrous beings!

I loved this sign at the park exit, the crude graffiti with the beauty of the lupines someone dropped on top. We are being asked to go forward, our tires will be slashed on the grate if we try to back up.

I loved this sign at the park exit, the crude graffiti with the beauty of the lupines someone dropped on top. We are being asked to go forward, our tires will be slashed on the grate if we try to back up.

As this energy of expansion flows through, there is the contraction contained within. I am having to calm my body and personality self that have enjoyed the comfort of a home these past six months. They are not thrilled about traveling and figuring where to be and how to get to the next place. It was my life for over three years and my nervous system is saying, “We are a nester! What are you thinking with this moving about again?” I soothe her, say, “There there, little one, it shall be ok.” My soul feels the expansion to come as I am daily undergoing preparations in my heart to be the purest chalice that I can. I am letting go of the Linda Marie that I have come to know and love. Dropping the old robes to don the garments of light that await me. This is true for all of us. We visualize the future based on what we have known yet we are stepping into uncharted territory. We are the wayshowers, we are making this up as we go along. I breathe in and find that courage in my chest and let it roar through me. I AM here. I offer myself to this path. I AM fearless. And most of all, I AM ready. We will meet up after we cross the threshold…..that crossing is done alone, none can do it for us. Once through, the lives of our dreams await our creation.

I see you shining there, tears of joy streaming down our faces as we embrace in our new land. We will know that we have succeeded in bringing heaven to earth. I can hear the trumpets now and feel the crowns being placed on our heads. This is who we are. This is why we came. To open this portal for all to step through. What a privilege. What joy. I love you all. Espavo!

 

It is Not Linear and It is Not a Mistake

IMGP5061I have been on a journey, from the heights to the depths and the spaces in between. Today is the first day that there arises the ability to put words to the experiences. The greatest ahas have been that our lives are not linear as we were taught and that I can trust life. We live in a circular space of the now. All is contained in the present moment.  A linear view of our life is limiting and damaging. It serves to keep us past, present, and future orientated rather than present in the now. I can trust that what shows up in each moment has been lovingly tailored for my growth by my own higher self. I have been shown that there are no mistakes, only misunderstandings caused by focusing through a limited view. This has taken some breathing in and out as I allow integration in my system. My head can understand a concept but for my heart to live it, to radiate it, it must become an organic part of my being. My cells have to feel it and embody it, every part of me humming with it. This shows up as the passage of days, weeks, as I tone and sing the song of my heart into my cells and the unity grid of the planet.

Playing with oil paints

Playing with oil paints

On Valentine’s Day, the day of love, I found myself down the rabbit hole once again, standing in a puddle of shame. This holiday, and indeed all holidays, have become fodder for the corporations to feed on the masses with the message to consume in order to prove that you are loved. There is such a narrow band width of love highlighted on this particular holiday, that of romantic love, as we have been programmed to understand it. This leaves most of the population out of the loop, creating separation where true love creates only unity and oneness. As the energies shift, we are becoming more sensitized to untruth. I found myself reacting in anger to the falseness of this energy brought through a dozen red roses, the symbol of this day. It played out with another, the anger pointing outwards triggering a resulting sense of shame to both for falling so far from the vibration of love. We had tapped into old energy patterns brought up through the vehicle of this love day, which allowed us to step beyond, into the truth of our relationship in the now.

Mount Shasta framed.

Mount Shasta framed.

As I pondered how I could have felt the truth of the Christ consciousness in my being only days before and then fallen into the depths of anger and victimhood, my higher self showed me the circular nature of our universe. We see things as steps, moving ever higher on the ladder which keeps us locked in a pattern of self judgment as we compare ourselves with others as well with an external ideal of what rung of the ladder we “should” be on. Beware of all shoulds! These ideals of growth and how it should look are programmed by our culture, religions, race, sex. A part of me interpreted the movement into shame and anger as a step that negated the Shasta experience of birthing Christ consciousness. One canceling out another. If I could experience the highs, how could I return to the lows? What had I done wrong? My soul viewed it in a different light. It is not one step forward and two back. All steps are movement towards the expansion of light. What may appear on the surface to be a step backwards, may be the necessary catalyst for a person’s soul to find its truth. We cannot judge these outer expressions in another as we have all experienced that “hitting bottom” is oft times the only pathway to rising up. So let us refrain from judging ourselves as taking missteps or making mistakes. Let’s allow ourselves to observe from a space of neutrality and always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, trusting our hearts to be aimed to love, despite what our wounding may be presenting at the moment.  Let us trust that each step takes us closer to our truth.

I have walked with anger and rage as my companions of late as I felt the revolutionary energies violently flowing through me. Everything I touched set them off. For one who normally looks through rose colored glasses, I was seeing mud everywhere! I was feeling the energy of the controllers behind the scenes who have: poisoned our waters and food to keep us docile and dumb, exported terrorism all over the world in such a way to allow Americans to believe we are lily white while our money rapes and pillages country after country, set up tax laws and so much else to benefit those with the money, kept ordinary folks out of the loop by writing laws in obfuscating language, indoctrinated our children in our schools to be the square peg to fit in the cubicle hole of adult life.  The list goes on and on. I took all of it in, not having to know all the particulars, rather feeling the energy behind it all; the enslavement of humanity that is now coming to an end. I found myself reading tales of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the oppression of women in Saudi Arabia…..not my usual light fare.  I had to feel it so fully, to be in the cries of the child, the despair of the mother, the soldier trained to numb his soul in order to be a killing machine.  All was in me. The desire to harm another, the power lust that takes hold, this too had to be felt. Man’s inhumanity to man. Owning this as a part of my being. Knowing all that is in expression on this earth, is a part of me. Finding, feeling, expressing all elements of darkness as this anger  surged and screamed through my cells until it reached a fever pitch. Just when my sword burned to be unsheathed and swung into action, to fight fire with fire, I chose to give it all up. To release it all to my Creator. To turn it over to love and breathe anew.

I then was shown how my experience on Shasta was what allowed this fuller expression of all that stood opposite to love to emerge. I could feel it and hold it in a fuller tone so that more could be released from our mother earth’s fields. There is no canceling out, no missteps. All is guided by our higher aspects to allow us movement and growth into the wholeness of our being. Once again, the importance of trust rings through me as I feel how lovingly I am guided by my own being. I take such good care of me! My higher self so loves me. I feel the Creator’s love and know it as my own.

Flowing with the currents.

Flowing with the currents.

This is my work, our work. To be agents of change, to transform our miscreations back to the light of love. To hold the oppressor and the oppressed in my heart, and to see the truth of both hearts yearning for the freedom of love. This is how we create heaven on earth, through my heart, your heart, our hearts. We must each walk through that valley of darkness, feeling lifetimes of pain and suffering that we inflicted as well as experienced. It is a tunnel of fire that will consume all that is not truth. We each must walk blindfolded into this new land, feeling our way by our internal guidance system, gifted to us in our hearts. The old structures and forms are collapsing, there is no one to lead. Uncertainty and change are the norm. Fluidity becomes the stable ground, we are trees rooted in our own beingness, swaying gracefully with the elements. We are being gifted with the opportunity to walk into a new creation of unity and oneness, where all are sovereign in their fields, yet the we consciousness has replaced the I. This is what we were excited about, this is why we volunteered to come! We knew that it was an opportunity to create in a new way, to bring a new version of heaven to earth through the many star nations presently incarnated here. How amazing to have the chance to each bring our flame from home, offering it to the mix, knowing a new song is to arise that will resound throughout the universes.

Begin your fire walk by feeling everything that comes to you, fully, in the moment it appears. Accept all as a gift from your higher self, allowing you movement. Trust that you are worthy of love and all in your world is there to assist you to feel that love. Allow your tone to be tempered in the flames of love and your throat to open to express that love with all that you are. I so love you! I am hearing the harmony of our hearts as we hold the tone of this new earth. My, we are magnificent!

The Gift of January’s Pause

IMG_0873Today is the last day of a very long month, the first step into the energy of 2013. It did not feel like anything I knew, though with so much focus on 2012, my mind did not look into this landscape except to see paradise. In hindsight, I am so appreciative of how uneventful the December dates appeared. The clues where there for me to see as I was guided to be with a very small group of women for 12-12-12 and alone for 12-21-12.  I had thought to be at a large gathering with hordes of others for both dates, celebrating with fireworks and fanfare. Instead, it was an inward event, the joy subdued and subtle but palpable.

I am only now beginning to glean the riches held in the pause of January. The days rolled by in a dreamy fog, melting into one another as I experienced so many physical symptoms that took me down dark, scary holes. I heard that the end of suffering is here, suffering on any level of our being. My body spasmed with acute pain as I was offered the opportunity to walk it all back to love. To feel the illusion collapsing, to hold that knowing in my being alongside the reality that I was experiencing.  Caring for my body, took all my energy as I played with this newly intense sunlight; filling, releasing, and sending its rays streaming across the earth. Creative bubbles floated tantalizing close. As I reached out with my mind to pull them in, their iridescent radiance popped. I lay back down with sticky soap film on my face. My crown chakra tingled and danced with energy that evaporated as a sigh as soon as I opened to it. Everything felt elusive, just out of reach.

I am feeling the harvest of all the disappointment energy that December reaped. All of that was able to be lifted off the planet in one fell swoop. Oh, the angels were glad! We were then left with only trust to keep us warm as it seemed that the dreams of magic were not to be. Each day, my breath, a bellows to fan the flames higher as my body lay integrating the new. I saw myself with an IV drip of my divinity, which I had so boldly claimed, moving into me, drip by drip. I had thought myself ready to swallow it whole but my soul played its parental card and said, “No, too much too fast will leave you scorched.” I begged to differ and asked for a mugful. The response: drip, drip, drip. I jumped up to dance , to move, my mind proclaiming its sovereignty. I have not experienced but have watched folks shuffling down hospital corridors with their IV poles, seems no dancing allowed. As I was rendered once again prone and exhausted, the drip continued its slow, but ceaseless motion. Oh, the wisdom of these bodies! The wisdom of our higher selves, always showing us the short cut home.

Weary angel wondering why, reflecting my mind's energy.

Weary angel wondering why?

I have needed this time to acclimate to the new energies before I can move to play in them. I have had to bank the fires of my trust so that it is a constant flame that warms every moment, every impulse of my heart.  I can hear the roar of the fire of trust that is now blazing in my breast: I am loved, I am cared for, all is well. My mind had to go through its remaining fear programming: “You are not doing anything and it is 2013, get up!! How can you expect to co-create the new world flat on your back?” I had to face hissing, snarling FEAR in my dream space, trusting to the love of my heart to be my sword. I have felt the strength of that love as all melted at its touch, like the wicked witch of the west, dissolving in the mists. Fear is an illusion that has held us captive for so long. We are adults now, we can pull back the curtain and discover that it was only the old man, Oz, who was behind it all.

We have been through a tempering process as the flames of our experiences have begun  to transform us into molten gold. The liquidlovelight of my dreams, at last, pouring in.  We have been asked to grow up, to shoulder our responsibility to self. to get clear about what we want. Our thoughts are so rapidly becoming things that we have to be conscious of those thoughts. We have to know that all that is needed is inside of each of us, no outside sources trumping our own heart wisdom. We have had to walk old issues and relationships, down the road to love, releasing them to their higher self, trusting that they are perfectly cared for, as are we. I am learning to let go of judging the path of another and trusting that what presents itself, is that soul’s manifestation of experience that is their fast track home. Surrendering our playing God for another as well as dictating to God what tune to play in our heart, undoes the programming.  Allowing God to breathe the notes of our soul’s song into the flute of our hearts is walking our way to home.

My youngest son had a bout of the flu as did so many. After resistance, anger, and a bit of berating himself, he surrendered to it. Afterwards he said that he was grateful for the time it allowed him to think and dream. He was given a new vision of how to walk in his life. He saw all of his desires, the goodness meant for him, sitting ahead in the stream. He had been pushing to get to it, trying so hard in each endeavor, wanting to do it perfectly.  He realized that he was only asked to surrender and float down the stream. He would be brought to it in perfect timing and without fail as the water always flowed downstream. In his trusting in the abundance of the Creator’s love, all abundance flows in. Our minds can say, that is not how it works in the “real” world but it begins with my heart trusting, then yours, until all hearts know that we are the beloveds of our Mother/Father and their hearts’ desire is to give us, ours. Our streams converge and we will find ourselves playing together in the ocean of love.

This is the gift of January for all of us spiritual bungee jumpers (someone once called me that). Do we truly know that God loves us and cares for us on every level? Have we surrendered fully to the flow and placed our trust in divine timing? Do we have to spell out the particulars of what our Christmas list looks like or do we know that the Creator hears the feeling tone that we put out and answers in kind. Can we let go of our expectation of the hows, whens, whys of it all and trust what shows up, knowing it to be the perfect nourishment for our day?. Can we know ourselves good enough, worthy to receive this love? Can we drop in and allow our hearts to lead us, trusting the pause time to be as valuable as the times of action? Trusting that we are always in our perfect place at the perfect time. That we are not missing anything if we follow the clues of our heart.

IMGP4415I feel the winds of February bringing the scent of spring, of flowering anew, of expansion and rapid growth. My IV is still dripping with the essence of my divinity and I trust that the process will be complete when I hear the call to make a move. In this knowing, I am trusting each one of you to heed that call and trust the path where you are led, whether it be to sleep or create or dream in this moment. Open to it fully, licking the last bit of sweetness from each moment before letting it pass. Each moment fully embraced frees us to be present for the next….and the next, each experienced as the perfection of the now. I love you so.