I have been on a journey, from the heights to the depths and the spaces in between. Today is the first day that there arises the ability to put words to the experiences. The greatest ahas have been that our lives are not linear as we were taught and that I can trust life. We live in a circular space of the now. All is contained in the present moment. A linear view of our life is limiting and damaging. It serves to keep us past, present, and future orientated rather than present in the now. I can trust that what shows up in each moment has been lovingly tailored for my growth by my own higher self. I have been shown that there are no mistakes, only misunderstandings caused by focusing through a limited view. This has taken some breathing in and out as I allow integration in my system. My head can understand a concept but for my heart to live it, to radiate it, it must become an organic part of my being. My cells have to feel it and embody it, every part of me humming with it. This shows up as the passage of days, weeks, as I tone and sing the song of my heart into my cells and the unity grid of the planet.
Playing with oil paints
On Valentine’s Day, the day of love, I found myself down the rabbit hole once again, standing in a puddle of shame. This holiday, and indeed all holidays, have become fodder for the corporations to feed on the masses with the message to consume in order to prove that you are loved. There is such a narrow band width of love highlighted on this particular holiday, that of romantic love, as we have been programmed to understand it. This leaves most of the population out of the loop, creating separation where true love creates only unity and oneness. As the energies shift, we are becoming more sensitized to untruth. I found myself reacting in anger to the falseness of this energy brought through a dozen red roses, the symbol of this day. It played out with another, the anger pointing outwards triggering a resulting sense of shame to both for falling so far from the vibration of love. We had tapped into old energy patterns brought up through the vehicle of this love day, which allowed us to step beyond, into the truth of our relationship in the now.
Mount Shasta framed.
As I pondered how I could have felt the truth of the Christ consciousness in my being only days before and then fallen into the depths of anger and victimhood, my higher self showed me the circular nature of our universe. We see things as steps, moving ever higher on the ladder which keeps us locked in a pattern of self judgment as we compare ourselves with others as well with an external ideal of what rung of the ladder we “should” be on. Beware of all shoulds! These ideals of growth and how it should look are programmed by our culture, religions, race, sex. A part of me interpreted the movement into shame and anger as a step that negated the Shasta experience of birthing Christ consciousness. One canceling out another. If I could experience the highs, how could I return to the lows? What had I done wrong? My soul viewed it in a different light. It is not one step forward and two back. All steps are movement towards the expansion of light. What may appear on the surface to be a step backwards, may be the necessary catalyst for a person’s soul to find its truth. We cannot judge these outer expressions in another as we have all experienced that “hitting bottom” is oft times the only pathway to rising up. So let us refrain from judging ourselves as taking missteps or making mistakes. Let’s allow ourselves to observe from a space of neutrality and always give ourselves the benefit of the doubt, trusting our hearts to be aimed to love, despite what our wounding may be presenting at the moment. Let us trust that each step takes us closer to our truth.
I have walked with anger and rage as my companions of late as I felt the revolutionary energies violently flowing through me. Everything I touched set them off. For one who normally looks through rose colored glasses, I was seeing mud everywhere! I was feeling the energy of the controllers behind the scenes who have: poisoned our waters and food to keep us docile and dumb, exported terrorism all over the world in such a way to allow Americans to believe we are lily white while our money rapes and pillages country after country, set up tax laws and so much else to benefit those with the money, kept ordinary folks out of the loop by writing laws in obfuscating language, indoctrinated our children in our schools to be the square peg to fit in the cubicle hole of adult life. The list goes on and on. I took all of it in, not having to know all the particulars, rather feeling the energy behind it all; the enslavement of humanity that is now coming to an end. I found myself reading tales of the Khmer Rouge in Cambodia, the oppression of women in Saudi Arabia…..not my usual light fare. I had to feel it so fully, to be in the cries of the child, the despair of the mother, the soldier trained to numb his soul in order to be a killing machine. All was in me. The desire to harm another, the power lust that takes hold, this too had to be felt. Man’s inhumanity to man. Owning this as a part of my being. Knowing all that is in expression on this earth, is a part of me. Finding, feeling, expressing all elements of darkness as this anger surged and screamed through my cells until it reached a fever pitch. Just when my sword burned to be unsheathed and swung into action, to fight fire with fire, I chose to give it all up. To release it all to my Creator. To turn it over to love and breathe anew.
I then was shown how my experience on Shasta was what allowed this fuller expression of all that stood opposite to love to emerge. I could feel it and hold it in a fuller tone so that more could be released from our mother earth’s fields. There is no canceling out, no missteps. All is guided by our higher aspects to allow us movement and growth into the wholeness of our being. Once again, the importance of trust rings through me as I feel how lovingly I am guided by my own being. I take such good care of me! My higher self so loves me. I feel the Creator’s love and know it as my own.
Flowing with the currents.
This is my work, our work. To be agents of change, to transform our miscreations back to the light of love. To hold the oppressor and the oppressed in my heart, and to see the truth of both hearts yearning for the freedom of love. This is how we create heaven on earth, through my heart, your heart, our hearts. We must each walk through that valley of darkness, feeling lifetimes of pain and suffering that we inflicted as well as experienced. It is a tunnel of fire that will consume all that is not truth. We each must walk blindfolded into this new land, feeling our way by our internal guidance system, gifted to us in our hearts. The old structures and forms are collapsing, there is no one to lead. Uncertainty and change are the norm. Fluidity becomes the stable ground, we are trees rooted in our own beingness, swaying gracefully with the elements. We are being gifted with the opportunity to walk into a new creation of unity and oneness, where all are sovereign in their fields, yet the we consciousness has replaced the I. This is what we were excited about, this is why we volunteered to come! We knew that it was an opportunity to create in a new way, to bring a new version of heaven to earth through the many star nations presently incarnated here. How amazing to have the chance to each bring our flame from home, offering it to the mix, knowing a new song is to arise that will resound throughout the universes.
Begin your fire walk by feeling everything that comes to you, fully, in the moment it appears. Accept all as a gift from your higher self, allowing you movement. Trust that you are worthy of love and all in your world is there to assist you to feel that love. Allow your tone to be tempered in the flames of love and your throat to open to express that love with all that you are. I so love you! I am hearing the harmony of our hearts as we hold the tone of this new earth. My, we are magnificent!