Ah, calm is returning to my soul. I have been in the grips of Kali’s fiery energy the past few days. Sleepless nights as I tossed and turned with my mind spinning in webs of confusion. One dear to my heart, has stepped out of the old victim, playing small energy that I had lived for many years of my life. Witnessing the unfolding brought echoes of the old pain to the surface. Seeing one holding the stance of power over, with all its many guises, brought that energy into sharp focus. The gaslighting, the manipulation, the shaming, the guilt, the lies…..all presented in technicolor for me to view.
It was exhausting to be in such energies without allowing Kali’s fire to burn it all down. I felt that I was a match ready to ignite all in a fiery conflagration. I felt the impact of the imprisonment that we have lived lifetimes under on this planet. I felt rage at the forces that feed off of humanity’s misery. My personal world was reflecting the macrocasm and my inner being was on fire as the microcosm. I am amazed that my physical form still stands!
At one point, a small voice said, ” You are not being spiritual.” Then a deep laugh followed by a roar from Kali. Ha! Spiritual! She quickly extinguished that voice and every cell in my being knew that this anger was truth. I had to forgo saying goodby to one who was here highlighting this energy for me, as I knew that I could burn him to cinders with a look. I sent regrets to a family gathering as the anger needed my full attention and it was not to be diluted with any niceties. Truly, it felt that I was breathing fire. One night, I ate two half pints of gelato in an attempt to cool my being down. I felt scorched from the inside out. The outside temperatures mirrored this as it seemed that all are in the fire as the intensity ramps up. It will not lessen soon but continue until there is no longer a need.
Being around the unconsciousness that is rampant on the planet, is so much more tiring than in days past. I am so grateful to have been gifted a sanctuary space to rest in. I sit here in this beautiful cottage, a tiny bird dipping its beak into a birdbath outside my window, my heart being fed by its presence. The trees all stand with me, offering their shade and strength . All of nature and the elements conspire to assist us in this evolutionary change. All is being changed. All are being given wake up calls. There is so much fear and anxiety running in the collective. Nature is a wonderful antidote. We think of her as being peace, offering peace. This is true and yet there is more.
I have known that I am a pillar of peace on this planet. Yet, here I have been, deeply engaged in anger on a personal and impersonal level. One does not negate the other. Kali has shown me the place of anger. Peace is not without anger. Peace comes through being with all of it, without resistance. Feeling all of it. Riding the waves as they crest and smash against the rocks. Nature shows us eruptions, fires running out of control, lava spewing forth, waters rising, winds whirling. It is all part of the picture. All to bring that stability, that new firmament upon which we can begin to build the new.
Much of the new age thinking has touted a lie. Encouraging peace when fire was raging below the surface. Telling folks to think positive and all would be well. Shaming folks for their anger, their pain. A lie. Another way to harness folks’ energy while appearing in the guise of “spiritual”. It continued the work of organized religion with its oppression and guilt.
Today I feel depleted, emptied of the fire. The settling as my breath cools. I am so grateful to this body elemental that withstands such energies flowing. I am grateful to be a part of this dance.
I witnessed a squirrel sounding an alarm yesterday. A louder than car alarm noise, that came unbelievably from a squirrel. He stood stock still on a branch and rang his alarm for all that he was worth. No idea what it meant but it sounded like a wake up call to humanity. Wake up! Let go! Surrender and allow. It is time, past time to make a new choice. To let go of narcissism, let go of holding onto material forms of security, to ride the waves and flow with the energies which are landing in. He was brilliant at his work.
May we all live what is true and trust that it will all turn out in ways beyond our wildest dreams. This I know, all is well. It is done. We have anchored the light as we allow ourselves to be true to what is seeking expression. This is the path to peace. Hawaii is showing us this now as her eruptions destroy as well as create. New landmass is being born as what no longer serves is burnt away. Nature is a teacher if we choose to learn from her.