imageI am so in love with the flow of my life. Trusting myself in every moment, fully and completely. I had had a craving for coffee. I went into town and bought myself a Bob Marley, Lively Up blend of organic coffee. Yesterday I awoke to  massive head pressure, the nausea inducing kind. My head felt as large as a planet with all kinds of spinning inside. I heard, ” Go make yourself a cup of coffee. That is why you bought it. ”

Perfect! I had my coffee, stepped outside to stand on the earth and allowed a loud and full toning to move through me. I saw the pillar of light about me, felt the energy flow through into Mother Earth, knew this to be part of my transformer role. I felt her gratitude flow back up to my heart, breathed in the peace and balance. My head returned to normal size. Grace.

Beautiful drawing that came as a thank you from my son, Gabriel.

Beautiful drawing that came as a thank you from my son, Gabriel.

The more I trust what I am given through an image, words, signs, feeling….the more I am given. I am guided in each moment by myself. I allow that guidance to flow in, I honor it by acting upon it. The mind quiets, the emotions calm. No need to seek, to push, to arrange. It flows and I enjoy the ride. I am always in my perfect place, on time for my highest good to present itself, in place to receive all the gifts of love I desire to shower myself with.  I am savoring this time.

Last night it was the joy of a new novel, hardcover, large enough type and heft for comfort. I giggled at the deliciousness of staying up late to read to my heart’s content. I went downstairs in the wee hours to get my tiny carton of ice cream, yum! How fun that for a dollar I can buy a carton of deliciousness that was a perfect match for my need for creaminess in that moment. Again a thank you to myself for foreseeing and planning for a future desire. Tuning in, listening and responding without the filter of the programmed mind as to whether something is right or wrong, is freeing.

This dog, just out of the lake, rolling in delight! Joy

This dog, just out of the lake, rolling in delight! Joy

Wide spaces open their doors, each set a new breath, a greater expansion. Woohoo, that Marley coffee lively upping my being! Oh yes! Here is graceland. We open, we experience and express the expansion, we live that space until the air is consumed, constriction, gasping….we open the next doorway ..over and over the dance. We can trust this. Trust the absolute love we are held in by ourselves for ourselves! I LOVE me! I am Creator swaddling and rocking this being just emerged into this now moment. The love! The love is an explosion of stars. How could I ever have not recognized the love that I am!

As we enter each new doorway, we are a babe, learning anew. We can only offer comfort, rocking, napping, food, lullabies as we stretch and grow into our new skin. Oh, tender are our hearts, our bodies, our minds. I caress myself with so much love and gentleness. In doing so, I caress you, knowing we are One. I have prayed for magic and miracle for years upon years. I am now living in that field of love. Grace, grace abounds. From my heart, streaming ribbons of multi-colored shimmering lovelight, I AM.


Dissolving Into Fluidity

I loved the heart shaped opening on this rock, nature will do this to us, if we allow.

I loved the heart shaped opening on this rock, nature will do this to us, if we allow.

These days between eclipses are so new, so challenging, so exhausting, so wired, so weird. I heard someone use the expression: tired/wired. I get it. It is 3 a.m. and I am still awake. I am grateful I do not have to work or I would be adding anxious to the mix.

Everything is dissolving. Our old stories of who we were, our ideas about how anything works, our thoughts about what is reality and what is illusion……all flowing down the drain. Dreams leaving me with a bittersweet feeling as I say goodbye to what might have been. My body is having the most difficult time. She senses death, decay, dissolution. Indeed, I feel as if all of my organs and tissues have turned to liquid mush inside of me. My brain is spongy, soggy, heavy. Everything is flowing towards the earth, wanting to lie with her, decompose into her, fertilize her for the next cycle of growth.

I offer her comfort, chocolate chip cookies and milk, as I would a child. I am the child. Cookies thrown on the floor, foot stamped; No! There is no comfort to be found in food. I lie in bed and feel electrical pulses buzz in my left hip, then my neck. Finally the all body vibration that I have come to enjoy. At other times, the intense feeling that comes in is so uncomfortable that it does not feel possible to remain in this body for one more moment. Take me, I plead. Yet here I am.

All this has been going on for years. My body is not impressed. She is tired beyond belief. She is no longer interested in a bedtime story of ascension. She does not want to hear that she is becoming crystalline. Our light body feels like an imaginary friend that she has out grown. She has heard the tales over and over and now demands a new story.

The waves toss out the old, there is no making sense of it, just let it go. Debris to be dissolved into something new.

The waves toss out the old, there is no making sense of it, just let it go. Debris to be dissolved into something new.

What can I tell her? I stand at a nexus point, dying and being enlivened all at once. The crone and the babe inhabiting the same space. Of course it feels weird and woolly. We have not done this before. By all rights, I should be dropping this body to the earth, which she very well knows. She is attempting to follow the script that we have enacted in myriad  lifetimes. This is a new script, a role she has not played. There was no rehearsal, all happening live on this stage of life in 2014.

I stood on the beach today watching the waves pound the shore, relentless in their march. I felt their fluidness in my cells. Our bodies asked to hold the form while the energy flows in and out, over and over. I feel eroded by the energy, ground down to a husk. Then the sun broke through the clouds, and I knew moments of grace, transcendence where all felt light.

I know myself as the chalice, offering my heart as a container into which the liquidlovelight can pour itself; the body, the vehicle that anchors it all into the earth. We are being asked to bring heaven to earth through our bodies. The knowing is deep as to the privilege I have been given to have a physical vessel of the earth. It is what allows the Creator’s essence to seed itself deeply into our mother’s body. I do so want to witness our Mother Earth blossom from these seeds of love. All held, the desire for death, the desire for life. Two becoming one. Oneness.

We are walking through the dissolving imprints of duality. Everything has a fuzzy quality as it shimmers and fades. Time is unhooking its grip, speeding up till it is no longer considered at all. Decision making is no longer easy as we are asked to choose from a palette of whites. How can I pick one when all look just about the same? Neutrality is the new game. Good and bad have had their day. How do we navigate this new landscape, that is shimmering into view? If you look straight at it, it disappears. You cannot fix it to a point, it is fluid and changeable. There is no catching it, holding it. All we can do is BE it. Allow the energy to flow through.

My teacher of the day.

My teacher of the day.

Today at the beach, tears flowed. I no longer look for cause. My mind has given up as it is no longer important to understand, there is only feeling it fully as it moves through. It flows in, flows out. I watched the waves crash against a large rock jutting out of the water. The waves approached in their steady way, only to hit an immoveable surface, which sent them leaping into a thousand sparkling fragments. We create our own rocks to smash against when we hold some thought or emotion as fixed. We shatter our hearts over and over on our journey, splintered fragments flying as our souls wrestle us from known forms. We love to put equal signs between things, to firmly place our period as if to nail it all down.

As I watch the water drops fall back to the ocean’s surface, rejoining the processional waves’ motion towards the shore, I feel a way being shown.  Once the waves meet the shore, there is no ending, rather they are swept back out into the ocean’s embrace. No beginning and no end. We thought it was all about reaching the shore, achieving a goal.  But no, it is about being part of the dance, flowing in the ocean of the Creator’s love. Being the light. Bringing the light. Claiming our essence as liquidlovelight.

The violet light, transforming all into the love it is.

The violet light, transforming all into the love it is.

4 a.m. and a candle flame flickering in the dark. I, too, am the flame. Being with this moment, breathing in the fresh air flowing through the window. I know nothing. I AM this flame, this breath, this love. And you are too. God bless us all. Children of the Sun, of the Moon and the Stars. We are creating our own welcome home.

Staggering After the Solstice

A table I set with flowers for a dear one's celebration, reminding me that a banquet table is laid for each of us, with the Creator's love.

A table I set with flowers for a dear one’s celebration, reminding me that a banquet table is laid for each of us, with the Creator’s love.

The Solstice packed a punch this year, no gathering with others as it felt challenging enough to stand upright alone. A few days have passed, and I am still reeling with bouts of exhaustion that leave me feeling as if I am a boxer, staggering to his corner stool, after a challenging round. I feel pummeled. Interactions take energy I do not have to spare. To eat or not to eat, has become an question as waves of nausea carry me off. Sometimes a piece of toast quiets the torrent, or does the opposite and intensifies it.  Extremes appeal; salt, sweet, crunchy, soft. I am getting ready to pack camping gear and the kitchen kit is in question. Will I cook for myself outdoors on this adventure? I keep sensing the last time with some foods therefore, savor it now.  Feeling myself drinking water and more water, maybe juices, smoothies. Hearing the sun can sustain these new light bodies. Wondering how soon that will be my reality.

I feel like I am sleepwalking through deep snow, encountering occasional melted patches where the sun has hit. I take advantage of these to complete tasks. Conversations are challenging, requiring too much energy. It feels like white noise in my head, comprehension lacking. Driving has been interesting as cars pull in my lane, as if I were not there. Am I visible? I feel like I am floating down the road, perhaps I really am invisible. What is real? What is imagined? It is all blending in a new soup.

The sky tonight, calling me to open roads and wider vistas.

The sky tonight, calling me to open roads and wider vistas.

I express my needs to my I AM presence and trust they will be met. I have to take the car to the garage, get my tooth taken care of, this computer needs attention as it flickers and wavers, trying to decide if it wants to get to work or not. Today the tooth and the car got taken care of in between stretches where I lay anchored to my bed. As soon as a window of energy appears, I move with it, knowing the crash will soon follow. At five p.m., I had to sleep, now at 10 p.m., I am awake. There is no sense in the clock anymore except to attend to errands that are attached to a dissolving reality. Our world is shifting… computer screen has been demonstrating it to me. Days of fuzzy, dancing screens, doubled, blurred lines, even a day of no screen at all showing up, and now my computer is operating as pretty as you please. Let this be reflected in my body!

There are days where I can’t seem to see very well, everything is cloudy. I find myself using my reading glasses to cook something or do the laundry as if I were blind. Other days, my vision is as sharp and focused as you please, no reading glasses required for any task. Two days ago, my belly was a bloated tight drum, uncomfortable as if an eight month old baby were tumbling about in it. Today it looks like I gave birth, slack and soft and reduced in bulk.

Illuminated by a shaft of sunlight, this leaf quivers with life. Allowing myself to be washed in the sunlight of love that is pouring in.

Illuminated by a shaft of sunlight, this leaf quivers with life. Allowing myself to be washed in the sunlight of love that is pouring in.

I have had moments of anxiety as I prepare for this new/old adventure of driving about with no plan, in my nineteen year old car. 252, 784 miles on her and she still wants to go. I had felt that she and I were to have new forms. Surely we would not be asked to move about in these old body suits? Today as I feel all this internal shifting, I note that there is a shifting. Things have changed but as yet, the outer appearances do not reflect this. Ok, so we go as we are, trusting that all will be well. My departure date has flashed on the screen of my mind. I look about me and wonder how I will meet it in this present comatose state. I have to pack and clear and clean. Will my body hold up? Do I have the stamina for life on the road again? How long will this trip last? Is it a trip? I have no destination, no home to return to……I am moving back into my nomad state after a year of being settled. Why did I sign up for this at this juncture of my life? I am fifty-eight years old, and feeling it tonight. I had let go of  most of my worldly possessions years ago, keeping the car and camping gear and am surprised to find myself having to do so once again. In this year of living in my former house, I have enjoyed having familiar treasures about me. The pleasure of using a mixing bowl I love, the joy of my son’s paintings brightening my room, the relief of this small fan blowing on me in bed. My body wonders if it will feel comfort. I keep hearing that I am not moving to less, but more. More on every level… heart trusts, my body is not so sure. I am trusting my own manifestation skills to come online. Knowing I do not want to, nor have, the resources to outfit a life in the old way. Curious how this bigger life is to come into being, knowing that it will as I have walked it in my dreamscapes.

My river walk reminds me of the joy of flowing with no fixed point.

My river walk reminds me of the joy of flowing with no fixed point.

Deep breath. Sinking down into my heart, I feel an expansion, a sense of freedom wafting in with the breeze. Oh yes, the sylphs of the air are calling me north. A direction given with some “work” points along the way. This is not a road for the faint hearted. Ascension is real. The shift is here. We are moving. We are becoming aware of our oneness. Love is flowing and weaving across the planet. My liquidlovelight is called for and for now, it requires movement. This I can do. We are each called to our part. Grace is here to lend a hand. I am in need of her hand and take it gladly. Let’s go see what is up ahead.


Contraction Leads to Dissolution Leads to Expansion

Balance is being restored to our earth, through us and with us.

Balance is being restored to our earth, through us and with us.

It hasn’t been a smooth ride up to this Christmas time emotionally. There has been muck that has come to be embraced in the cauldron of love. Relationships are changing as we step into our truth more and more. I have been a witness as well as a participant.  A gift triggered a sharp pain, unlocking a nugget of “not being seen” that was hidden in my heart. I expressed confusion as I felt its heat flame up within me. It had victim energy, the old sense of being sidelined, an afterthought. I was grateful for the relatively quick movement into a broader perspective that allowed me to see that it was not about anyone but myself. Yet the energy cycled through a few more times in this intense week of contraction as I found myself struggling, mired in quicksand of old patterns that threatened to engulf me. There was a calling to be with the uncomfortableness, to allow it all room.

It is now days later and just coming to a place where I can write. Irritability, grouchiness, anxiety, sensitivity were all turned to high within me. Everything about me jangled my nerves, my altar felt old, any way of connecting to the earth or Source, felt impossible. Christmas lights and food felt so dense and heavy. I was so fully in the energies that I forget that these are signs that I am about to make a leap in consciousness. A friend called, noting that I had not posted or written in awhile. She had had a dream where I was sitting on a ledge, laughing and joy filled. Then I fell off and disappeared.

Yesterday it all culminated in the greatest disappearance I have done as yet. I dissolved fully into the earth. As new energies stream in, we think of integrating them into our beings. We sometimes forget that part of the evolutionary cycle is the dissolution of what was. This “I ” needed to dissolve in order to become something new.

All the elements and kingdoms are working to bring the balance. See the dragon within the flames?

All the elements and kingdoms are working to bring the balance. See the dragon within the flames?

Yesterday, at the height of my contraction energies, a friend called about going out to do some earth work. Usually when I am feeling this way, I cannot even go out to my own backyard, no less a public park. Yet, a part of me, had been waiting for this call. I said yes and went to meet her. She told me that she was to honor me as the stone temple that I am. I began to sob as her words hit a resounding chord. I Am a living temple of light as are you.

One of our spirals with the rock kingdom.

One of our spirals with the rock kingdom.

We went to the stone temple area of a local park where folks have stacked rocks. Our power place where we did ceremony for the Solstice, was just beyond it. There is a huge oak tree, a majestic being that has spread her branches over the rise where she resides. On the other side of the path is a wall of rocks from the nearby river. So in this little valley between the two hillsides, I lay down, by the triple spiral rock formation that we had created for the Solstice. Unbeknownst to either of us, we both work with the triple spiral and wear the symbol on us. Mine is from the isle of Iona in Scotland and is on a chain around my neck and hers are earrings she wears.

I was guided to lie down and my friend began to place crystals that we had brought as well as rocks upon and about me. Holding rocks in my palms and feeling them on and surrounding me was the most exquisite sensation. I became a mountain range and knew the strength and majesty of it. The “I” released and I was the rushing sound of air moving through tunnels within my body. I was in awe of the spaces within, knowing I had not accessed them before. Waterfalls and cataracts flew by, whooosh, the energy I was flowed through endless passages that were fractals unfolding and folding upon themselves. The cosmos was within my body! The tunnels moved deep into the caverns of the inner earth, flashing darkness and brilliant light, then out to the sun and beyond, golden chambers so bright. The void was there, I felt its embrace and floated on its currents. All began to morph, mountains became liquid, water a solid form, air and earth moving in an undulating spiral dance. The earth must bring all to balance and all upon her will feel this.

The full moon, shrouded in mystery, opening us to the mystery and wonder of ourselves.

The full moon, shrouded in mystery, opening us to the mystery and wonder of ourselves.

We are fluid beings, balls of energy that pulse and shapeshift. Whole cities being swallowed by waves and before a gasp can even be uttered, new mountain ranges arising in their place. Water where there has been land, land where there has been water……everything is all. It is all one energy, one source. I felt myself one with all these changes, saw the liquidlovelight that I AM, infusing the elements as they moved in their expressions. The human body is the vehicle through which all can anchor upon this earth plane. Mine a chalice offered for this service, bowing to the light, to the direction of my own I  AM.

I traveled for an age upon the currents of the air within and without. I heard words come from my friend and from my mouth but could sense only sound, vibration, tone. I felt her calling me back. I was so at home in this space, this knowing of self as all, that there felt no time, no thing to return to. I was ALL. Little did I know that two and a half hours had passed.

One of the rock beings at the temple space.

One of the rock beings at the temple space.

When I had gotten into my friend’s car to make the journey together to the park, I had asked her to stop while I returned to my car for a belt of bells that I often wear for the faeries enjoyment. These were key as my friend picked up these bells and began to shake them over my body. It was as if a thousand faeries were flitting about me, calling me back to this realm. They reminded me that there was more for me to do before I could let go this life and float in the all. The act of sitting up was painful and laboriously slow. Each movement felt as if I were ripping up earth and sending boulders crashing. Like a sleeping giant come to life. Another friend had slept for the time we were involved, her presence, a canopy of grace that shielded us as we were drawn so deep. A trinity of beings, playing with the earth.

We form one heart, one love.

We form one heart, one love.

I came home and slept for twelve hours. A friend this morning confirmed that it will take three days for my body to adjust to this new state. We are amazing beings! I felt this way of offering myself as a chalice, to be a new role for me, as the earth changes accelerate. My being blessing all the elements, as they flow through, with liquidlovelight. We are one with the earth. All beings upon her will soon feel this in a cellular way. Whether we flow under or around or within, we are one stream. There is no death, no endings. Only this fluid expansion of light and sound. We are one ribbon of light, offering our color to the grand weaving of the warp and woof of this new earth. What a privilege! What joy! Co-creators, one and all, as we surrender to the one light, the one tone, the one shout of joy, the Creator of us all. Blessed be.

Opening the Package of Each Day With Wonder

On my recent walk, I was greeted at every turn of the path by a deer. Some walked right up to within a couple of feet of me. I felt humbled by their gentle love.

On my recent walk, I was greeted at every turn of the path by a deer. Some walked right up to within a couple of feet of me. I felt humbled by their gentle love.

A week into this beautiful month of November whose energies are gifting us with more of our truth and beauty, and my heart is unfurling its petals.  Each morning, as I lie in my bed singing out a good morning to the beings who surround me, I tune in to our mother earth to hear the “weather report” for the day. Her mother’s heart is glad as more souls have begun to open their petals to the light of love. I feel the echoes of her joy. The days appear as beautifully wrapped packages, and there is a sense of wonder as to what I will find inside. I know that everything has been chosen specifically for me, each moment filled and orchestrated for my benefit! And yours. Each of us receiving the exact formula of light that enables us to open the next doorway. It may come in a plain brown wrapper, holding moments of quiet pain. It may be splashy and loud as one dear to our heart enters the stage to play. Know that each moment holds a key that opens the doorway to grace and peace. A friend calls with a threatening diagnosis, and in the hearing of the words, there is a space that offers peace from which to respond.  My son points out his favorite bird as it flits and dips in and out of the pool, washing itself in the morning light…..offering a space to savor the communion of our hearts with the bird’s and send that note to all. The empty house today offers an open palette, waiting for me to choose the colors. An event is taking place today where an old love is present and my heart fills with a bittersweet pain as I witness part of me wanting to be there. I am called to be tender with myself while this memory washes through, asking for grace to wash me clean.

I felt at one with this log and leaves, nestled together, sinking into the mother in a timeless dance.

I felt at one with this log and leaves, nestled together, sinking into the mother in a timeless dance.

I am learning the art of self care. In the past couple of months I have had biweekly massages, as a gift to this body for all her care of me. It has allowed me to more fully inhabit my body with gratitude for her strength and health. This last massage was on a different level all together. As I lay face down, I felt all the silt in my mind and being, slowly settle into my solar plexus then drain into the earth. I felt myself one with the autumn leaves, lying on the forest floor, returning to the embrace of the mother. I envisioned the violet flame transforming my decay into gold for my mother. She sent up a shot of that elixir that spread throughout my being. I felt my light body above me, raining liquidlovelight into all of my pores. Emptied and filled, over and over. I could hardly speak, with the wonder of it.

A gift for the faeries that I left with the heart rock and acorns I picked up on my walk.

A gift for the faeries that I left with the heart rock and acorns I picked up on my walk.

My sister called to say that she felt the truth of the magnifying glass of the sun burning away all of our warts of pain (my last post). She related how formally, in the resolution of an argument, when peace had been reestablished, there remained behind a nugget of pain in the heart. Now she finds the nuggets are gone with the argument, as our hearts have lost their hiding places. The sun is washing our hearts clean, leaving them open and alive rather than burdened with heavy nuggets of old pain. This is the gift of now as so many old memories surface to be fully felt and acknowledged. Once seen, they are free to depart and we reclaim more of the landscape of our heart. We were conditioned to live in the tiniest of spaces with walls those nuggets built, all about us. Now we are stalwart pioneers, clearing our land so as to dance in fields of flowers under open sky.

Our bodies are asking for this clearing also, as many can attest, with symptoms of increased pain as stored energy releases. A friend is dealing with a painful inflammatory condition. With courage and resolution, he has made radical changes to his diet and lifestyle. In his research, he has found differing opinions as to which foods are inflammatory. Who to believe? His mind struggles with this as his body awaits his attunement to himself and his own expert truth. We are taught to follow the advice of “experts” and yet, I AM the expert on this body as you are of yours. Our bodies know what they need for health. They will offer pain to slow us down, to get our attention and move us more fully into our hearts. Our cells hold memories that ask to see the light of day and then depart like the decomposing leaves. I honor my body as my wisdom keeper and I bow to her knowing in full trust.

The sun and clouds shooting their lovelight to me.

The sun and clouds streaming their lovelight to me.

The garbage collectors have just taken away the pile of debris that we have cleared from the property. Earlier a load was dropped at Goodwill and gallons of old paint were taken to a paint store to be recycled. All the clearing of the last couple of weeks, has left me clear and spacious, mirroring on the outer, the inner process. Tuning in, my body is asking  for a gentle walk and stretch rather than the bright, sharp dose of exercise it desired yesterday. Creativity is calling as my newest beloved painting awaits its beads of beauty. A friend pops in my heart and I feel a phone call happening. I move into this day with gratitude to myself for bringing me all that I need. I breathe in the knowing that I am in my perfect place, singing my tone of love. I know each moment will arrange itself in the perfect timing. I breathe that knowing through me and to you as we surrender to the flow of grace that is pouring in. Let us open our hands and hearts to receive this lovelight.

What is Your Heart Knowing?

This single lime green mum, is lighting me up!

Time is so fluid, I discover that I am more rooted in the present moment. Once moved through, it ceases to exist except when called back in conversation. I am grateful for the old that has dropped away to allow the new to emerge. I am grateful that my back is more fluid and the way the pain taught me to move with more grace and appreciation of my body elemental. I carry myself differently. I walk as my fairy queen self who has lately desired expression. I put bells on my ugg boots as it pleases that aspect of myself so very much. I allow my fairy dressers to choose the robe I wear. Today it is ruby red, deep velvet, yet it floats lightly on the air as I walk. It has flame tendrils flowing from it…….fiery day ahead! Tune in to your robe and see what is there for you. It is a fun game that I play with myself and a couple of friends.

My jingling boots

We have stepped into the year of imagination. It is time to image the world that we wish to create. The feeling is the most important aspect, what do you want to feel in 2013? How do I see myself? What do I want? None of the answers can be found in your mind. We have let go of the lifetimes of the mind being dominant in figuring out our world. We have entered a new era where we must tune to our hearts to create a feelscape, a dreamscape of our future. Take a deep breath and drop in. What arises?

For me, I want to be in the place on this earth, that feeds my highest expression, surrounded by others whose frequencies feed my soul. I want to be co-creating with them. I feel children’s laughter and soft arms and bodies, I know flowers are all about me and my beloved swings a little one high on his shoulders and a flock gather to make cookies. I feel my arm moving in a wide sweep across a huge canvas and I laugh. I allow myself to enter this feeling scape each day, seeing what new aspect appears. Focusing more on the feeling than the details.

My present reality returns and I look around with eyes of appreciation. What action can I take to move towards this desire of my heart? I trust and surrender to the divine timing of it all. I take a deep breath and see where my energy wants to move. So far, it is in making a green juice for myself as my cells leap in joy at the sound of the juicer. Drinking my juice, I arrange a bunch of flowers that I bought yesterday. I love scattering small groupings about the house, one for my Mother Mary, one for the bathroom, today one for the fireplace as it is a no burn day here in Sacramento so the surface is cool. Now it is writing.

Seeing the gold in every slice of life.

I am so blessed to be able to follow the rhythms of my soul, no to dos as I trust that all will be accomplished in its perfect time when I allow. My bedroom is a warren of clothes and books, a mess from when I injured my back. I am feeling it will be put to order soon but it is not quite the moment. When I allow myself to move this way, all becomes a joy. The old way of forcing myself to a task, has long dropped away. I am delighting in witnessing so many others moving into this new way of flowing. The energy is so quick to respond to our desirings. My son came for a visit and wanted to connect with his cousin who was in town for the holidays. The days passed with no plan but then a desire to text his cousin came, and fifteen minutes later they were both out on the bike trail, having a lovely ride together. We can begin to trust the synchronicity to be there to support our desires rather than the old mental planning. Yes, it is still necessary in some situations but the more we can allow the flow, the more grace can move in our lives. Take an imagination break today and feel what your heart is calling you to.

Full Moon Moving Us as Eclipse Offers Choice Point

A cloud that danced for me as the full moon began to rise yesterday.

Today feels like a demarcation point. The “What do you choose?” has become louder and each of us is answering, aware or not. No choice is still a choice. We can either let go of everything of the old and trust that greater opportunities and experiences await us, or we can snuggle down in the comfort of the known and play that out. No good or bad….simply experiences of the soul. Do I open my heart wide, greet each moment with love or do I remain behind a shield that seems to offer safety. I am choosing the pink rose of love as my shield for there is no greater power on earth. It is to me to unleash that power through the vehicle of my heart.

My heart awoke on wings of love as I set my alarm early to participate in a meditation with this full moon and lunar eclipse. We were sent a script to read out if we choose. I lit my pink candle and opened to the energies. I was taken aback by the love that filled my room. It was radiating love and as I read the words of forgiveness for the parts that we have all played, the good, the bad and the ugly…….and felt the oneness and love of our truth sinking in, tears poured down my cheeks. I had wondered recently at my choice of books from the library. Many were of traumatic events that took place, people who had suffered violence and mistreatment and went on to overcome those memories. One of WWII and its pain. Not my usual choice yet I saw how by immersing myself in these stories and feeling them from a broader perspective, I was bringing all the parts back to love. My heart could be a transformer, it could feel the pain that drove the violence, the fear that flashed out in anger. Oh, my mother’s heart took it in and wanted to wrap it all in pink blankets of love. So, the stories prepared my heart to be fully present with today’s meditation. Another reminder to trust the ways of Spirit, to trust my higher self is always guiding me to my highest path.

My Mother Mary, pink roses, and candle burnt to a stub. She teaches me how to radiate the lovelight.

During the half hour of the meditation, the smell of the sweetest incense filled the air. I looked around, knowing that I had not lit any. I welcomed the fragrance as I realized that one of the light beings present had thought to add to the experience for me. Thank you! The magic is becoming more apparent as I open myself more fully to it. Everything wants to play with us, co-create with us. The rain falling gently on the roof this morning has loosened leaves from the branches. A gust of wind sent them whirling like dervishes and I felt myself spinning in that ecstatic dance of the Sufis. A shot of that played in the documentary, The Quantum Activist, that I watched with my son last night. I used that shot to see myself in flowing white, dancing within the leaf as it made its descent. See how perfectly one thing feeds into the next experience? But we need eyes to see and ears to hear in order to catch these magical moments.

This painting of my son's, Gabriel, leads me through the open doorway beyond, echoing my feelings of the moment.

We stand on the cusp of the most magical month in the history of all of our lives on this planet. Choose to let go, surrender and open to the love and you will find magic aplenty! This is the greatest show on earth that we have waited eons for. Be fully present……you do not want to sleep through the show. Stand up, walk to the front row seat and declare your intent to be one of the co-creators of this new earth. It is an open call, no one turned away that offers an open heart and a willingness to be transformed. I have claimed my seat and my hand is raised. I surrender everything and everyone I have known. I lay it all upon the altar in offering, in trust of the love of the Creator. I desire to be that conduit of love for Her/His love. I polish my chalice in the sure knowledge that there is no loss, only gain as I await the infilling of that divine light. Fill my heart, on Mother/Father God that I might shine as your heart upon the earth!

Mother Earth speaking to me on my walk, I took a stick to outline the offering for others who are to follow.

This earth of ours is such a courageous being. She has decided to ascend as have I, to return ever closer to the heart of the One. Yet, she is making cosmic history as she has determined to take all of us, her children, with her. She will not leave any behind. She has started and had to stop many times to give us more time to mature, to grow into the truth of the love that we are. She now is at the point of no return, the rest of the universe awaits her arrival and move, she must. She has made provisions for those who do not choose at this time, to join her. She will keep a doorway open that they may enter when they are ready. What grace! What love! For those of us who are ready, we will fly with her into the new earth that awaits. None of us know this landscape, nothing is guaranteed as it has never been done. Our dear mother moves ahead with a heart that I can hardly comprehend, it is so magnificent. I offer her blessings as I ask her to ground me firmly to her amazing heart as we take this magic carpet ride. God bless our mother Gaia, may God bless each one of us.

Life Conspiring to Play with Us

This tulip opened its heart to me.

Have you noticed how all of life is conspiring to co-create with us? How everything is looking for our attention? And as soon as we gift it with our attention, it gifts us back with love. Last night, my son and I were talking about weaving our light together to co-create some information coming through on the balanced divine feminine and divine masculine. As I said the word, weave, a big spider dropped down from the ceiling on its silken thread to land in front of us. Yes! He wanted to weave with us. Oh, it makes me laugh. This morning, I made a decision as I lay in bed to organize the room I am temporarily perched in. A bird outside the window gave three sharp calls (3 being my magic number of confirmation) and I smiled.

I used my body as a pendulum to see what it wanted this morning. Did it want to go for a walk….even possibly a bit of run, this morning? I have been imagining starting to run again, after years of not running. The answer came; yes, she did! Off I went and it felt good to move my body in this way again. I am discovering that by imagining what I want, feeling myself doing it while in repose, I am pre-paving the way. I am dreaming my future into being. I co-create in conversations with a select few who are in resonance with me at the moment. I allow that to change as it does, not holding to anyone as someone flows into my field and another flows out. No more holding. Wanting freedom for myself and for all others as we allow the movement that is natural to our beingness. We have imposed such tight structures around how we are to relate, if it is biological family, there is duty involved, if a friend, there are rules to follow, if it is the opposite sex and we are not in a romantic relationship, more limits apply. Yikes, it is a wonder that we moved at all with all the confining ties.

A leaf floating in the pool, holding a heart bubble of water, mirroring my heart floating free.

My former hubby, now friend, just brought me a cup of coffee. That feels good today. I am in full appreciation for each moment and what is shared within. There are folks I may speak with every day and then weeks may go by without a word. Others I may have been with daily, sharing so intensely in the moments and then not at all. Trusting all of it. Not holding to anything. Allowing.

Surrendering and trust……my two words of the last few days. There has been a deepening. A knowing that permeates my being. I know that I am in my perfect place, doing just what I came here to do. All the questioning, the self analysis, the wondering, the anxiety, the comparison to others’ paths,  to my own expectation of what my life should look like or be, has dropped away. I feel so free! I allow myself to move as the ethers would have it. I know that this time of quiet is deeply enriching. I am alone for most of the moments of the day. Two, dear to my heart, enter sporadically and I can choose to engage or not. Others come in through phone, text or email. I allow my heart to decide if there is to be contact, depending on its desires of the moment. My heart leads in all things. It has become my home base. I move in and out of it all day long. I am so grateful for the way I set up my life for this time. The freedom that I offered myself to simply be in these final days in 3D, allowing myself to focus fully on bridging heaven and earth.

Songs flow through spontaneously from Sophia, my I AM presence, letting me know that I am in the flow of my heart’s stream. The earth tunes me through my voice, toning the sounds that she wishes to emit in the moments that I am called to be her amplifier. I drop deep into the stillness of my heart and allow myself to be the beam of the lighthouse, flashing its message of safety and warmth. I have been listening to Tom Kenyon’s latest offering of the Aethos: in preparation for his November world-wide meditation. It is an interesting recording that allows access to a non-duality state of consciousness. It is a gift that I am savoring as I listen each day.

I observe everything in my world, what moves about me, within me. There is a deep appreciation for all of it. New aspects of me are coming in, I welcome them with a smile. At Mount Shasta last week, this bracelet spoke to me and insisted it had to be worn upside down. The curve informs some part of my being as my priestess self recalls those lines. A friend mentioned a book that she felt I would resonate with. It is by an Irish author. Ireland has reemerged of late as an important place to my soul. I recently found a soul sister there and her writing opened memories and connections.  I delighted in the fact of being somewhere long enough to place an online order. The book ( a used hardcover copy being the same price as paperback!) holds the next bit of info for me, I could feel my bones quivering in excitement as I unwrapped it. Yes, my bones! Now that means it is important on a visceral level to me. I pay attention!

My son's painting that I view from my bed, grounding me with its earthen colors and cows touching the earth.

All of life is speaking to us, if we but tune our ears to listen. Spirit uses nature, bumper stickers, friends’ words, lines of songs, an object tripped over, our body, anything and everything, to get our attention. Trust its words, follow its lead and you can let your mind rest. I am moving through my heart which houses our greatest intelligence, as science has now discovered. This freedom makes me giddy at times! No planning, no agenda, allowing myself to be moved as the inspiration flows. I am learning to dance on the in breath and out. To flow in a way I formerly dreamed of. Grace accompanies me and I honor its place in my life. I honor your flame next to mine, and rejoice in its glow.

His companion piece that shows the vibratory nature of this reality.





Embracing All of Me

sunset from my window

Nelson, New Zealand

Awoke to the sound of rain which had lulled me to sleep last night. I had a glorious, if short night as I gave in to the deliciousness of a good story, a hot cup of tea and a crunchy cookie which softened to the melting point as I dipped it. Bliss! The story was a about the 13 crystal skulls and took me into that land of mystery and order that informs our universe. I so love this universe! So much is unexplained and beyond our mind’s ability to comprehend. I find myself overcome with awe when I feel the majesty of the plan. And I do feel it, deeply in my heart. Finding that book to entertain me was one such example of something presenting itself to me at the right time. It reaffirmed my faith that it has ever been the plan for us to return to our Mother/Father’s embrace. That a thousand safeguards were put in place to assure our return. The Mayans predicted this end time of duality with remarkable accuracy. The crystal skulls were formed to carry the codes and frequencies that would assist us at the perfect time. Over and over, I am shown that I can fully surrender and trust divine timing in all things. I am grateful for all the myriad ways that I am cared for, again and again. We are so loved!!!

One of dozens of one lane bridges I crossed on my drive along the coast.

Last night I was chatting online with my son. He was telling me of his plans to rearrange the study in the family house to suit his new interest in video recording. I immediately jumped in with a dozen ideas of what to move, get rid of, bring in.

“We’ll (his brother and he) handle it Momma =),” says he.

“OK, my organizer self jumped right in there! heehee.”

“She’s a powerhouse!” says he.

“OK, pulling her out.”

I then began to laugh, typing lol and heehee, as I loved my dear organizer self.

I said, “She could organize the  universe!”

“I am sure she has.” says he.

“I think I was a planetary planner in another life. Haha, I get such a kick out of me!”

He agreed and we laughed and laughed. The dearness of me, the way I want to bring comfort and beauty to everything and everyone. This is a part of who I am and I could feel the truth that I have done this on a much larger scale, it is one of my many gifts.

The glacier emanating its icy blueness to the world.

It is such a delight to honor and recognize the gifts that I bring to this earth plane. More and more, I feel the sweetness of all of us and my heart explodes with the knowing of each one’s beauty and value. We each hold a unique set of talents, gifts that are ours and ours alone. It is time to cast off all fear of what others may think, of fitting into a box labeled “normal”, of following a presribed path set out by a society interested in control……it is time to follow our hearts and open our gifts for all the world to see.


I am expanding my version of me to allow my multidimensional self greater rein. We are not limited humans, we are powerful gods and goddesses from the stars that came here to assist our beautiful Mother Earth and our brothers and sisters to ascend into the love and oneness. Unity is not simply a concept, it is a consciousness, a state of being. The rain is singing it, the leaves are rustling with it, the waves dance it, the sunlight warms us with it, the earth sends the feeling up through our feet. I am feeling the power of love. There is nothing that can withstand its onslaught. It truly melts all resistance in its path. Gandhi knew this, Jesus and Mary Magdalene lived this,  as did others who held so firmly to the love in their hearts,  lighting the way for the rest of us to walk.

Water flowing with such grace, showing me the way to be.

Search for that way and follow it. No matter what comes into your world, an angry person, a “terrible” event, a physical illness, a betrayal, economic hardship……love it. Open your heart and beam love at it for all you are worth! It will change things. It will soften the edges until they can no longer hold and all is melted back to the reality of love that is all things. This world is an illusion, held together by our thoughts. The bedrock, the foundation upon which it is built is love. Only love. Seek this. Feel this. Embrace this. Emanate this.

It is so simple. Why are we here? What are we to do? We are here to be love. To shine the light from home upon this most beautiful of playing fields. Earth is the jewel of the universe. The blue water planet of such diversity of forms and beings. Time to pack up and head out to meet the ferry and my beautiful daughter. The rain has stopped for the moment. We may have a long soggy day or one of wind or sunshine or all three……it matters not. We will have an adventure in nature and move with her with our hearts alight with love.

There is only this moment……open your heart wide and love everything as it is. Let criticism and judgment fall away, embrace yourself, embrace your life and love as if your life depended upon it. It does!


Watching My Garden Grow

I am so glad that it is today! Yesterday’s energies were difficult, I felt irritated, despairing, fleeting moments of joy followed by moments of whining with this back pain that has resurfaced. I felt tender and raw, sensitive to the extreme. No desire to talk on the phone nor connect on the Internet, wanted to withdraw into my shell and felt the frustration that I did not have one.

The amazing cloud formations yesterday.

We are clearing (does it ever end??) all the dross for the light of Saturday’s super moon to infill us. I went out last night and basked in her almost full light, clouds back lit by her, sky luminous. I thanked her for the energy she brings, asked for the blessings of Wesak to be bestowed upon me.  Wesak is a celebration of Buddha’s birth/death/enlightenment. The ascended masters gather and grant boons to humanity.  Asked for assistance in being centered, asked my Mother Earth to ground me in deep. Felt the settling after a day of swaying this way and that.

Another friend wrote of finding her beloved. Knowing home for the first time, understanding what it means to find her other half when she never thought herself incomplete. Beyond words. My heart swells with joy to witness the joy of one of my sisters. Her joy is mine as her discovery lights the path to my own. The beloveds are coming, our hearts are opening to the wonder of our truth as love and only love. We are so connected. Another friend called to tell me of her role as midwife to her younger sister’s passing. How she recognized that birth and death are a process that take time. How a baby has its mother’s heartbeat to entrain to and how she decided to entrain to her sister’s final labored breathing with her own breath. She matched it, slowed down, followed it till it was no more. She felt a reverence, awe as she felt the trust her sister had shown her by allowing her to lead her once again, this time from physical life to a new life in Spirit. Grace.

The universe asked me to clarify my desires further. I received a message from an old friend about sharing her house with her. I had clearly stated recently I am ready to anchor in somewhere, that I want my own space within the shared community space of my pod of light. Here was that old pattern, will you be the battery once again for another to shift or will you honor yourself by holding to what you desire, trusting divine timing. Grateful for the opportunity to clarify, making my desire more luminous on the grid of life. Once we are clear in our intent, we are tested to see if that is what we truly desire. This is the time to hold firm to our heart’s desires as they are within reach like never before.

The two palms in the yard of my former home. Despite the messiness of their dropped fronds that are so hard to dispose of, their seeds that sprout all over the yard and have to be dug up, the feathery puffs that fill the pool .....we could never bring ourselves to cut them down. For a couple of kids from Buffalo, NY, they were a symbol of the exotic.

Magic arrived to bless me last night in an email from my former husband to our kids. He talked about the value of doing something again with consciousness and how that frees the original doing. Of his desire to honor me for the 30 years of being a supportive partner. Of honoring the friendship, newly found. That their hearts could feel the ease that we have so recently discovered. When I think of all that went in to this healing……beginning with me being here in the first place, him allowing me to this space, a friend inviting me and my sons to an event that I wanted to attend but found I had no energy for. Sons going off leaving me alone with former hubby, me not knowing he was to be here.  Retreating to me room, coming out only to answer his query about irrigation needs of the newly planted garden that lead to yard project that led to conversation and anniversary and… get the picture. So much orchestration for me, for my growth, for love to flow. I am that loved, as are you. When you become conscious of life, everything speaks to you and you begin to see the many layers of every action and interaction.

Squash blossom about to birth its fruit

Full circle, releasing old patterns and embracing the truth of love.  We are stretching, shifting, expanding. In that process we are asked to have compassion for the opposite that comes along, contracting, blocking, stopping. We are asked to fully honor ourselves, love every part of ourselves in this now moment. Can you accept all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly? Can you see it all through the eyes of grace and love? In doing so, in beginning right where we are, with full hearts, with such tenderness for our limitations and lack…..we bring it all to fullness, to the light of love. We are poised to birth our divinity. In our humanness, we were not meant to reach perfection. That was a lie given to keep us feeling less than. It is only in our divinity, that we can know the perfection of our humanness, all of it. We can embrace our anger, our smallness with a smile as we would watching a 2 year old throw themselves on the floor in a tantrum. (of course, when it was my 2 year old child I was not always smiling as it triggered my own pain body.) But in our wisdom, we can feel the frustration and pick the child up and embrace her with such love and compassion. Yes, it is hard to be small and feel powerless. Hard to feel so deeply and passionately. Oh, we are the tenderest of beings, having journeyed from the oneness with the Creator to this land of separation and story. How confusing and frightening it has been. How comforting is this time of remembering that we have never been separated at all. That we are one with our Creator as we are one with one another. My, that sends a river of peace through my soul, my body, my being.

So much more flowing in, enough for the moment. We are so loved, I take this knowing into my dream space as a nap calls me.