Where We Are Now

14361310_10154769770703273_8562860245197946457_o-1The month of September saw me on the East Coast of the USA, anchoring energies as the eclipses took place. As my spirit is generous, it aligned with my grandson’s first birthday celebration and the preparation for my youngest son’s wedding. I was in Montreal, Quebec for the first and then a couple of hours south for the second in Vermont. Two spiritual powerhouses in the form of two dear friends from the West Coast, joined me in Vermont for the equinox as our trinity absorbed the light and let it flow. They were also working alongside me to weave and stabilize the mantle that my son and his bride to be would wear. That all sounds like joy……and it was…..and it was challenging to the hilt!

We rented a house in Vermont for our family of five and the soon to be married couple to stay. And our grandson, of course! Relationships were high on the transformation list with the energies streaming in. My elder son and former hubby both received clarity to end their current relationships of almost a decade. My daughter and son in love, were faced with a storm of issues that sought resolution. The baby, who had no teeth at the age of one, decided to cut six at once. My younger son, the groom, had friends flying in on different days to participate in his overnight camping bachelor party. The house held six, then ten, then twelve, then three, then eight……lots of comings and goings. My mother flame flickered, waned, strengthened, expanded. I was the heart holding it all.

Daily offerings from the woods.

Daily offerings from the woods.

The house itself was an initiation for me. It was relatively inexpensive but came with a host of issues that saw me almost collapse under the weight. It happened slowly, not all at once. I would get adjusted to one issue, then the next would present itself. The firewood was rotten, the property manager said they would send a man with a chain saw to cut the big logs outside. Chain saw? No, not what I wanted. Firewood resolved, fire merrily blazing until someone sleeping in the basement area noticed it filled with smoke. The bathroom upstairs reeked of urine. We cleaned it, it still reeked. Manager came with white vinegar….still reeked. Mice in the walls, leaking ceiling in the basement, refrigerator that froze the veggies and had water that collected in the bottom that had to be mopped up a couple of times a day, stove and oven that burned hot and fierce. Manager resolved that by stating that both were slated to be replaced the day after we left. Truly, that was supposed to make my experience better?  It felt like a form of water torture…one small drip after another testing my peace. When I first arrived, my son was there before me and said, ” It looks shabby but it seems clean”. We kept looking for the positive, lovely view from the outside deck, perfect two mile loop walk out the door, trails in the woods just across the dirt road. The beauty of the autumn leaves catching fire day by day. The biggest issue was not mentioned in the airbnb ad. The water came from a spring shared by three houses and we were to limit showers and usage. That stress was not needed and on the last two days, the water did indeed run dry. We had asked for another rental but there was none to be had that would accommodate us all. As well, moving us all would have taken more energy than any of us possessed. I felt used up, every drop of me in motion on the inner or outer planes.

The elementals are so present in these woods.

The elementals are so present in these woods.

I had to laugh at all of this for my initiation! There were moments I did not feel gracious, moments of complaints, fatigue (my teething grandson had short nights and I was the relief for my daughter), as well as much laughter and joy. Watching my grandson discover the pleasure of slurping noodles, as well as his delight as he started walking and talking while we were there. He had stairs to climb and railings to stick his head through…all delights. We had lots of meals with many cooks in the kitchen. We filled jars with maple syrup for wedding favors, we organized apple picking and crisp making for the wedding dessert.  We watched and then stopped looking at the ever changing wedding weekend weather report. The weather had been warm and lovely but was slated for a weekend of rain and cold. We called on the elementals to assist. We were rewarded with sunshine in the woods on the wedding day but we rented heaters for the huge barn to offset the freezing cold temperatures that came in.

fullsizerender-7-1It all worked, it was magical. We created an altar in the woods that held the energy of the elementals’ magic. I had asked my son the night before if he understood the mantle that was to descend upon him and his bride the next day. It was from Jesus and Mary Magdalene. A mantle of love for them to carry as a couple into the world. He said he did and he stated, “I am ready.” He was. It descended as did a pillar of light over his bride as she received the Kumara lineage that would allow their children to carry our family’s flame onward. Powerful weekend that affected everyone who was a witness. My son had invited so many, he had told me that those who were to be there, would come to receive. He knew it was a frequency that he and his bride were offering and he did it consciously. The joy was palpable and we were all graced by their love.

14380005_10154770176718273_1237624372275109394_o-1What I found so interesting was how I felt. It was beyond the observer. I was present and yet distanced. Immersed on all levels of my being. I could feel my divinity within even when my personality self was challenged to the hilt. It is a new space we are occupying. All is part of the whole. No water…part of it…..love vows……part of it. The ceremony by their friend asked us to turn and honor the four directions, we had the four elements on the altar, their first vow was to themselves…..to care for themselves first and foremost. They truly are anchoring the new relationship of sovereignty and wholeness. Two wholes creating together with the Creator. A trinity of the highest order.

The stage is set

The stage is set, whether through love or death, the portal is open for to walk through to embrace more of ourselves.

My heart beats out the tune of, “All is well, all is very, very well”. This intensity has not stopped. I have come back to California to be with my friend who is dying. My knowing had allowed me to be gone for the month and she said she would  wait for my return. We knew it would be fine whatever way it happened, that our spirits would be together.  I have agreed to open the capsules with another friend and mix the cocktail that will send her through death’s door. California is one of five states that allows assisted death. She may not use it, she may slip away but it provides her comfort and peace to know she can make that decision if her body lingers.  She is so present and conscious in facing death. It makes the moments so alive. I am privileged to be a witness, to be informed by all of it.

The tiny houses at the wedding site.

The tiny houses at the wedding site.

A rich time for me, memories of my grand baby’s entrance a year ago, seeing him flourish in such a strong, sturdy body after such a tenuous start, the love vows and mantle carried by my youngest son and his bride, the conscious living and dying by my friend, the inner work that my friends and I did as we assisted with the Jesus and Mary Magdelene’s mantle of love, the dissolution of relationships that held the old energy of care taking and codependency, freeing all to greater honoring of self, the young folks talking of community and tiny houses, the knowing of my capacity to hold seemingly disparate pieces in wholeness and love. We are becoming grown up. We are becoming sovereign. Such joy! The love pods are forming in the ethers and we are feeling the tugs towards our soul groups. Even the wedding barn, with its tiny houses around, surrounded by nature, was a template for the new communities. Beauty and love arising. May we open our hearts to receive it all.

Thank you to Bev and Julia for the wedding photos. I did not take any so am grateful for the use of these!

New Life Flowing In

 Just as the light is highlighting the beauty of these tulips this morning, it is highlighting our beauty, our wholeness. Allowing us to claim all parts of ourselves as we stand in this glowing, flowing liquidlovelight. I am so loving the sensation of aliveness that is moving through my cells. I have been exercising for the past week, something I have not done in years, after a lifetime of daily exercise being the norm. My body is gaining strength and vitality. It is as if I have awoken from a years long coma. To land in this space has taken all of me. There was very little left over to animate the physical body.

Now that we have established the new grid of love around our planet, we can be present to enjoy all that it has to offer. There is an aliveness sparking all my cells, I am enjoying the sensory delights anew. To smell roses, oh my! To feel the bare earth beneath my feet, pulsing her love note to me. To listen to beautiful music, the birds chirping and trilling. To feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, to float in the warmth of a hot tub, jump into the coolness of a salt water pool, to feel the  slyphs of the air, embracing my cheeks. To taste fresh basil exploding on my tongue, creamy, melting ice cream, crunchy salad greens, walnuts with their nutty goodness. Everything a celebration of being alive. I am here! We made it through the tough times. We did not give up, we did not depart. We are standing and reaping the harvest of light.

This gave me the feeling of old, our hearts protected by barbed wire, not wanting any pain to enter.

This gave me the feeling of old, our hearts protected by barbed wire, not wanting any pain to enter.

My gratitude flows in waves along with the incoming streams of love light. This is just the beginning! Can we stand in the joy? That may seem a strange question yet we have been so programmed by the fear and hardship vibration, that it takes some unwinding to allow in the joy. Many are finding tears flowing, not of sorrow, rather the release of its grip. Many old emotions are moving through never be seen or felt again. Hallelujah! All are lightening our beings and our Mother Earth, allowing the flow into the new. We no longer need any protection as this love that we are, is a force that can move mountains. Only we, can release ourselves from the prison we created.

IMG_2995Self love is the key to it all. Immersing ourselves in the golden love light that flows like a waterfall unending. I find myself singing love songs throughout the day, to myself. I feel like a child and am treating myself in every way. Roses by my bedside, yummy foods, a new pair of shoes that set my feet skipping and jumping. Hearts on my bed, crystals around me that vibrate with me, taking naps in the pool of light streaming through the skylight. Time with dear hearts that share in this quickening energy, whether in person or

IMG_2997by phone or computer. So many ways to connect our hearts! A daily chat with my grandson, babbling to one another in ancient languages of light. There is such wonder on this beautiful planet of ours. I have always had eyes to see yet now I am experiencing it deep within. My body is waking up with my divinity. All merging in the now. All wanting a taste of this physical existence, all intent on bringing and anchoring the vibration of heaven on earth.


Calla lilies symbolize the chalice to me as they offer themselves to hold the incoming love light.

There is such freedom in resisting nothing, being open to all that presents within each moment. Knowing all is love, every challenge holding a gift, each event in our world, self created. As we have surrendered our personality selves’ control and aligned with our divinity, we trust implicitly in all the ways we are  bringing ourselves to wholeness. Events can feel so random and strange yet trigger all that has to move out in order for make room for more love light to flow in. We are chalices for this divine light of love and there is nothing worth holding onto once we allow ourselves to feel the love that is offered. In every moment, it is there. It is ours to accept and allow. May you awaken to the wonder of a new day to play on our beautiful home. I am so grateful that we are all here!




The Phoenix Arises from the Ashes

Through the tunnel

Through the tunnel

Hello everyone! I have been gone so long and yet it was a blink of an eye. I am now arising in my newness and feeling my way, flowing my divinity. I have lived more fully the death process, and despite the hollow sound of the husk of me rattling in the wind, I am so grateful for the space it opened.

On the morning that I awoke, knowing in all my cells that my work was done in Scotland and it was time to leave, a friend told me that I lived the phoenix experience. It was a part I chose to play here on earth. I laughed as I have done my share of dying and rebirthing but had not thought of it in that context. She said that I was on the cusp of yet another such experience.

Yosemite falls which called me to visit before I flew to Scotland. As I stood at its base with my sons, a tone was released and a mini snow storm ensued!

Yosemite falls which called me to visit before I flew to Scotland. As I stood at its base with my sons, a tone was released and a mini snow storm ensued!

Little did I know that the cusp meant that day! My guidance told me to move quickly, so I began my journey by train to my departure city,  flying out within 24 hours. During that period,  I went through the most intense death experience to date. Initiations do increase in intensity as does our ability to explore greater depths and heights of our beingness. I moved from train to hotel to bus to plane in a fog of tears as waves of emotions moved through me. I felt as if I were standing under the pressure of a huge waterfall that threatened to knock me over and drag me under. Every lifetime that I had experienced since the original agreement to explore separation, came roaring down. It cascaded over me in a torrent. Resistance was futile, this I knew. The seven weeks of work in that ancient land had left me spent. I had no resources to draw upon. There was only one path open. I opened my heart and let the water take me. I let go. I surrendered. Take me, I whispered in my heart. Take me home.

Once the waves subsided,  I found myself washed up upon an unknown shore.  I felt dried out. A husk of physicality, all juiciness sucked dry. The marrow of my bones remained. I heard the sound of my dryness, rattling in the wind. I knew nothing except that the “I ness” of me, remained. How does one move with no fluid in one’s veins? I observed as if from a great height, the being that lay taking in breaths of air through a chest filled with fluid. Water and its absence, both were present in me.

Hailstorm engulfing me, shattering the old shell of my beingness.

Hailstorm engulfing me, shattering the old shell of my beingness.

With wonder, I observed the space within. There was nothing left in me with which to resist this process. All had been washed away. I was clean and clear, no thing to move around, nothing to block my view. I floated in open space as what I knew not. There was no being to judge this experience, simply the witness, witnessing. I surrendered to the emptiness, as there was no me to forge a resistance. I and the space were one.

A soft landing awaited in California, sunshine and a soul so dear to my heart, my youngest son, my joy boy, now a man. He allowed space for my re-entry. Soft tendrils of creativity began to flow into the space of me, as I lay observing his art about me, lighting me up with its colors and form. More movement as I journeyed from San Francisco to Sacramento, once again landing in a space provided by my former husband, in my former home. I had not thought I would be here again in this way, yet here I was. Accepting the grace of it, trusting all as my I AM presence, dear Sophia, directed my movements.

My elder son greeting me, having the perfect “prescription” of music for my soul. I lie on the floor with him as he played music that brought great sobs of release. He knew my body still had releasing to do, trauma of lifetimes of hardship and heartache to move through. What a gift his perception was. All of me needing emptying. We have entered into the new lands where joy reigns supreme along with ease and grace. It is a work to let go of the struggle, the pain, the backpack full of bricks of calcified emotions of grief. The tears a healing balm despite the way they racked my form. I saw each cell open and upend its load, allowing the music to carry it away. Angelic beings surrounding me, transmuting it all into usable light once more. This is my offering. This is my skill, my talent as it were. To swim in the sea of unconsciousness, drink it in my cells, then purge it all in a great outflowing wave as it returns to its true essence of love.

How blessed I am by these two male souls who incarnated through me, with me, providing the scaffolding to stand upon as the new is in the process of construction. Wide shoulders, towering hearts. strong legs grounded in the earth…..I gifted myself with their presence for these times. My gratitude for me, for them, immense.


A giant sequoia showing me how to be a conduit for heaven and earth.

Each day, I awaken with the excitement of an explorer, open to what presents itself. My trust is complete in dear Sophia to allow my divinity expression through this vehicle of light. I recall a moment of feeling my beloved so powerfully in me, surrounding me. My heart bursting in the bloom of that love. I wondered how I could live in the knowing of his essence and his coming into physical form. How could I live with my heart like a live coal burning in my chest? Was it possible to breathe in this flame? Did I not have to shield myself in some way? No, the next breath informed me. This is the new way. Heart wide open beyond what I knew possible, each breath expanding it further. Vulnerable in every way. This is freedom. This is what I have sought. Always the desire to breathe deeper, go farther, live more fully this liquidlovelight that is my song.

Oneness is offering itself in every moment. It is not behind any of the old doors. Within each heart stands the portal. Courage is needed to step over the threshold. The new land awaits. All of nature and life stands at the ready, to offer assistance. The trees, the breeze, the waters, the fire and the earth, herself, all line the pathway on the other side. It is one step that requires every cell in your being to desire. Oh, how I love our courageous hearts, our cells of light, our loving blood. All rushing to this threshold to be met with the embrace of oneness that takes our breath away. Inhale, exhale and I AM. In this is the story, in this is the ALL. I have heard my future self laughing for many months gone by and now I laugh with her as she and I are one. Oh, what a grand adventure we have been on! I have come home. My journey of wandering with no physical home for the past four years,  honed this truth in me. I knew it in my mind yet now I live it fully in my heart. I AM grateful to be free. I AM liquidlovelight falling through space and time, unceasing. No beginning and no end. I and my Mother/Father are ONE. Hallejuah!

Crowning: Preparing to See our own Beauty

The sky brings new delights each day.

There has been so much inner movement that time seems to have melted away. There is only the now and the stillness. All feels sacred to me. I know the blessing of these holy days and treat them as such. All movement, all thought, all feeling moves toward the one goal…..the ascension of our planet and ourselves with her.

I am frequently overcome with tears as I feel my own light moving,  expanding within me. The task is no longer to see if I have the strength to stand in adversity and density but rather, am I able to stand in the brilliance of my own light. Each moment, it becomes more familiar, more comfortable , more accessible. The gratitude for the gift of knowing myself on a deeper level, is immense. We have been so trained to handle darkness, now we are being asked to step into light and love like we have not tasted since first taking incarnation on the earth. This takes some deep breathing!

Moments from these past few days:

A dream in which I was a child with a sibling of whom, I felt very protective. Another child came into the family with intent to harm my sibling. I tried to alert my parents of the danger but they could not hear me. As I faced this child who seemed to embody all evil,  I was terrified. I heard: “Empty yourself.” The fear drained out of me. Then the injunction: “Fill yourself with love.” With my heart afire, the being melted into the love. What a powerful reminder that there is no force that can stand in the presence of love, it is the ultimate power.


A heart on my walk, always the love.

The incident in Connecticut, opening hearts world wide to cry out, No more! Our hearts and souls are clearly stating that we desire to live in a world of peace, where all children are cherished and each one knows that they are loved and are needed. Where all souls know themselves as a vital part of their pod or group and are free to sing their song. As expressed by an acquaintance, Judith Moore:

“These are the days of the soul, the soul of the world, the soul of the human experience, crying out for something better, something more beautiful, something that sustains the life of the sacred planet.”

The Mother's heart standing vigil for all souls

Waves of toning coming through as my voice expresses the sorrow, the lamentations, the joys of this human experience. I have felt humanity as part of me, as we move into the oneness. I have been experiencing waves upon waves of gratitude for each soul on this earth. Knowing all have played their role to perfection, those asleep and those awake (another form of separation as we now know there is no other). My heart has been exploding with the love as I felt their hearts.  What a holy and sacred time. Yes, many will leave with the old consciousness in order to lighten the entry into the new for all of us. My heart thanks them and blesses them on their journey into the light.

News of a cousin choosing to leave by suicide. Feeling her torment as the love that is pouring in has released all the shadows to be felt before being released into the love. It can be overwhelming and many are choosing to take that confusion energy with them. I bless their journey and call in the angels of comfort for those left with the aching heart.

I I had a dream as a gatekeeper, ushering so many souls through a doorway to the new light. What joy! The next day, I read of the role of gatekeepers and felt the confirmation sweep through me that I have been in training for this role.

Tulips feeding my soul with spoonfuls of joy.

I have felt the absolute certainty that the solutions to all of our problems on this earth will abound in rapid succession.  As the weight of oppression that we have lived under, lifts, we will see an explosion of creativity and joy. We are an amazing creative species! What exciting times are ahead.

I participated in a 12-12-12 event with a few other women. We took turns using drums, rattles and crystal bowls to heal what each felt arise within. I knew we were doing it on a planetary scale as the light beings and angels filled the room. We released grief, mind chatter in order to be present, shame (that was a sticky one!), judgment, and removed barriers to receiving love as well as opening to laughter and play. Wow! It was a magical, power filled evening as I could feel so much leaving the planet as the new gifts came in.

I embraced my divinity. I am no longer waiting until I am some idea of perfection. I embrace my divinity in my present state, knowing I am love. Knowing all that is less than love is now consumed by the love of my heart. I am a divine spark of my Mother/Father and I know myself as a delight in their hearts. It is a powerful knowing.

Preparing to walk through the doorway to my divinity and Christ Self.

Truly what we do for ourselves, we do for one another. How can we not love everyone and everything!!! All works for the all……the win- win world, the highest good of all. I so love this universe we are playing in, this beautiful mother who has waited so long for her babes to be ready to move with her, our hearts that are so earnest in our desire to be the love that we are. We are co-creating the new earth now. Each moment we are being asked, what do you want? I want love. I love you and I love me and I love everyone! This year, we will experience the true meaning of Christmas as we birth the Christ in our hearts. Prepare your manger bed well for She/He cometh. May we all be blessed in this love.

Each twinkling light, a heart on fire with its divinity!

Watching My Garden Grow

I am so glad that it is today! Yesterday’s energies were difficult, I felt irritated, despairing, fleeting moments of joy followed by moments of whining with this back pain that has resurfaced. I felt tender and raw, sensitive to the extreme. No desire to talk on the phone nor connect on the Internet, wanted to withdraw into my shell and felt the frustration that I did not have one.

The amazing cloud formations yesterday.

We are clearing (does it ever end??) all the dross for the light of Saturday’s super moon to infill us. I went out last night and basked in her almost full light, clouds back lit by her, sky luminous. I thanked her for the energy she brings, asked for the blessings of Wesak to be bestowed upon me.  Wesak is a celebration of Buddha’s birth/death/enlightenment. The ascended masters gather and grant boons to humanity.  Asked for assistance in being centered, asked my Mother Earth to ground me in deep. Felt the settling after a day of swaying this way and that.

Another friend wrote of finding her beloved. Knowing home for the first time, understanding what it means to find her other half when she never thought herself incomplete. Beyond words. My heart swells with joy to witness the joy of one of my sisters. Her joy is mine as her discovery lights the path to my own. The beloveds are coming, our hearts are opening to the wonder of our truth as love and only love. We are so connected. Another friend called to tell me of her role as midwife to her younger sister’s passing. How she recognized that birth and death are a process that take time. How a baby has its mother’s heartbeat to entrain to and how she decided to entrain to her sister’s final labored breathing with her own breath. She matched it, slowed down, followed it till it was no more. She felt a reverence, awe as she felt the trust her sister had shown her by allowing her to lead her once again, this time from physical life to a new life in Spirit. Grace.

The universe asked me to clarify my desires further. I received a message from an old friend about sharing her house with her. I had clearly stated recently I am ready to anchor in somewhere, that I want my own space within the shared community space of my pod of light. Here was that old pattern, will you be the battery once again for another to shift or will you honor yourself by holding to what you desire, trusting divine timing. Grateful for the opportunity to clarify, making my desire more luminous on the grid of life. Once we are clear in our intent, we are tested to see if that is what we truly desire. This is the time to hold firm to our heart’s desires as they are within reach like never before.

The two palms in the yard of my former home. Despite the messiness of their dropped fronds that are so hard to dispose of, their seeds that sprout all over the yard and have to be dug up, the feathery puffs that fill the pool .....we could never bring ourselves to cut them down. For a couple of kids from Buffalo, NY, they were a symbol of the exotic.

Magic arrived to bless me last night in an email from my former husband to our kids. He talked about the value of doing something again with consciousness and how that frees the original doing. Of his desire to honor me for the 30 years of being a supportive partner. Of honoring the friendship, newly found. That their hearts could feel the ease that we have so recently discovered. When I think of all that went in to this healing……beginning with me being here in the first place, him allowing me to this space, a friend inviting me and my sons to an event that I wanted to attend but found I had no energy for. Sons going off leaving me alone with former hubby, me not knowing he was to be here.  Retreating to me room, coming out only to answer his query about irrigation needs of the newly planted garden that lead to yard project that led to conversation and anniversary and…..you get the picture. So much orchestration for me, for my growth, for love to flow. I am that loved, as are you. When you become conscious of life, everything speaks to you and you begin to see the many layers of every action and interaction.

Squash blossom about to birth its fruit

Full circle, releasing old patterns and embracing the truth of love.  We are stretching, shifting, expanding. In that process we are asked to have compassion for the opposite that comes along, contracting, blocking, stopping. We are asked to fully honor ourselves, love every part of ourselves in this now moment. Can you accept all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly? Can you see it all through the eyes of grace and love? In doing so, in beginning right where we are, with full hearts, with such tenderness for our limitations and lack…..we bring it all to fullness, to the light of love. We are poised to birth our divinity. In our humanness, we were not meant to reach perfection. That was a lie given to keep us feeling less than. It is only in our divinity, that we can know the perfection of our humanness, all of it. We can embrace our anger, our smallness with a smile as we would watching a 2 year old throw themselves on the floor in a tantrum. (of course, when it was my 2 year old child I was not always smiling as it triggered my own pain body.) But in our wisdom, we can feel the frustration and pick the child up and embrace her with such love and compassion. Yes, it is hard to be small and feel powerless. Hard to feel so deeply and passionately. Oh, we are the tenderest of beings, having journeyed from the oneness with the Creator to this land of separation and story. How confusing and frightening it has been. How comforting is this time of remembering that we have never been separated at all. That we are one with our Creator as we are one with one another. My, that sends a river of peace through my soul, my body, my being.

So much more flowing in, enough for the moment. We are so loved, I take this knowing into my dream space as a nap calls me.