Windows of Opportunity Open and Close

Geese moved to the rooftop as we left the meadow.

Geese moved to the rooftop as we left the meadow.

The energies swirl and shift like the wind. I am so aware of divine timing. When the timing lines up, you are given the opportunity to go and it behooves one to move quickly! I was not feeling that I could make the drive to Sacramento to get my dear friend in place for her departure. I opened to what other possibilities were present. My friend knew of possible ride with a couple she had recently met. She sent off a message while I showered and prepared for the day. I began to gather things as if to go, without thinking I was going. Suddenly, I knew that we had a window to depart…was given five minutes. My friend responded with alacrity and we were in the car. One thing remained to be done with the mountain to complete this phase of our work. First, fuel ..stop for coffee and bagel in town. Felt into where we were required to be. An image of the meadow with the boardwalk floated in, yes! Off we went. We parked next to two geese sitting on the edge of the road. We walked quickly down the boardwalk, my friend setting the pace. I felt where she would stop and we would begin. She did stop in that spot, we shed our shoes and socks, stood in the snow and…her arms flew as she did what she was called to. For me, a deep, loud toning began instantly, surprising me with its intensity. Just as suddenly it stopped, we dried our feet, put on our shoes, went back to our car and headed off. We flew down the road, carried in the sunshine and warmth.

The layers of clouds that opened and closed with the sun on our drive.

The layers of clouds that opened and closed with the sun on our drive.

There were to be four of us gathered, we were to be in the meditation room at a friend’s house. The friend from Scotland had not been in that room despite having spent days at the house. She knew it was not time, now it was. We sat outside, soaking in the sunshine, laughing and enjoying the information that came through us for one another. It was playful and nourishing. The room called, time to move in. We had crystal and Tibetan bowls, gathered the skulls and crystal beings who asked to join us. We sat anchoring the four directions, each knowing her place. The space opened and it all began. Bowls and voices sang songs ancient and deep, dialogues in other languages, translated by the heart, came through from other lands and time. We were our ancient selves, come again, on time for an appointment set from ages long passed. How deep the love and knowing of our souls! Each played our part, all acting in one accord, flowing harmoniously through time and space. Many joined in, a celebration and acknowledgment of a phase completed. Future gatherings shown.

I trust the universe and myself, so completely. All is known as we open our hearts to it. We are becoming more fluid as that is how we are able to flow with the energies. If we try to push against the current, we get battered.  By aligning and allowing and attuning, we catch the wave that will carry us farthest with the most ease and joy. Our times of being rolled under the surf lessen and we experience the exhilaration of riding the crest with the spray dancing its joy across our bodies.

Crystal beings playing.

Crystal beings playing.

I do not understand most of what I do. I feel it, follow it, open to it and allow myself to be the purest chalice that I am able to in any moment. I sense the acknowledgment from my Christed aspect when I hit my mark and deliver my lines beautifully. I am grateful to be of service. I need not know the whole picture, but rather know that I have played the part I have been given to the best of my ability.

As my Scottish friend left on the plane, I left by car. Grateful to be back here in Mount Shasta to dream and rest with the mountain. The next phase begins. Body worn but a vision of playful rejuvenation has been given. Oh! It could happen like that?! Opening to this next moment with a full heart. How beautifully we are learning to play this game. It gets so much more fun as we each begin you trust our gifts and let our light shine. I love us all! Thank you for playing your part!



The Power of Our Voice

The ferns in their deep hibernation are beautiful, offering their shades of russet.

The ferns in their deep hibernation are beautiful, offering their shades of russet.

Timing is a force with power. Many moons ago, a dear friend told me that she was guided to gift me a massage. Each time I came to the mountain, the timing did not work for either of us. This time, coming off the days of pressure unlike any my body had experienced, the timing aligned. I had long been guided not to have others work on my body, this time my cells were quivering with anticipation for her touch. My friend and I share a deep connection with the Elohim, the weavers of form. She wove her magic with my body, taking it from its emptied husk to enlivened, anchored form.

Logs lurking like ancient sea monsters, riding in you and me.

Logs lurking like ancient sea monsters, riding in you and me.

Sound is the catalyst. She encouraged me to make sounds as she would do so also. My body relaxed and opened as layers came rolling off. I saw a myriad of masculine indigenous lifetimes flow past. I felt the ceremonies of initiation where my body was tattooed, pierced, cut, and carved into. All a part of spiritual practices to bring ourselves closer to the Creator. At times, the releasing was physically painful but the sounds were waves that allowed me to travel above the pain. I heard the drumming,the chanting, my voice and hers a Native American song, Tibetan, ancient cries. At one point, as she worked on my neck and the cords and knives of a past came in sharply, the dolphins sang through my voice with their high pitched notes, pulling me up and through that death experience. I saw how we have always used the power of sound to take us beyond the confines of this reality. Modern society has taught us to mute our voices, to be embarrassed to open our throats and let our voices sound their laments and praise.

Lifetimes’ cellular memory released and the perfection of the timing and the gift, filled me with gratitude. My friend, a master divine.  Space was created, allowing more of my essence, room. Expansion is intoxicating! I am lighter in every way. Hallejulah!

imageThis full moon managed to part the clouds of the night to shine its brilliance on us for the evening. Fire in the hearth, pulling the trinity of this household together. Tarot deck of cards, altar created with the bits of beauty collected on my walk through the woods, three candles added their flame. My card, a woman, naked, spread eagle, holding wands of the elements. Aflame in her knowing of self and life. Yes, I am this. I claim my beauty and fire. I let it breathe me. Mary Magdalene came through our conversation. She asked to speak through my voice, words dropping in our hearts as an elixir of love. The feminine Christ has come. We chanted a Seneca love song to the moon, our hearts mirroring her fullness. Our talk melted away as we each dropped into  silence. Quiet communion, harmony felt and woven our trinity a chalice for the flame of love. Later, we stirred, to hug and whisper wishes for sweet dreams as we each made our way to bed.

Our reflections are becoming clearer in this new light of love.

Our reflections are becoming clearer in this new light of love.

This is the new landscape. No need to plan. Trusting to the timing and our own hearts. Allowing life to breathe us, allowing love to live and move us. Tears flow in gratitude for the wonder of it all. Deep sighs escape my lips as I commune with All. I have come home to myself and there is great rejoicing.

The Gift of January’s Pause

IMG_0873Today is the last day of a very long month, the first step into the energy of 2013. It did not feel like anything I knew, though with so much focus on 2012, my mind did not look into this landscape except to see paradise. In hindsight, I am so appreciative of how uneventful the December dates appeared. The clues where there for me to see as I was guided to be with a very small group of women for 12-12-12 and alone for 12-21-12.  I had thought to be at a large gathering with hordes of others for both dates, celebrating with fireworks and fanfare. Instead, it was an inward event, the joy subdued and subtle but palpable.

I am only now beginning to glean the riches held in the pause of January. The days rolled by in a dreamy fog, melting into one another as I experienced so many physical symptoms that took me down dark, scary holes. I heard that the end of suffering is here, suffering on any level of our being. My body spasmed with acute pain as I was offered the opportunity to walk it all back to love. To feel the illusion collapsing, to hold that knowing in my being alongside the reality that I was experiencing.  Caring for my body, took all my energy as I played with this newly intense sunlight; filling, releasing, and sending its rays streaming across the earth. Creative bubbles floated tantalizing close. As I reached out with my mind to pull them in, their iridescent radiance popped. I lay back down with sticky soap film on my face. My crown chakra tingled and danced with energy that evaporated as a sigh as soon as I opened to it. Everything felt elusive, just out of reach.

I am feeling the harvest of all the disappointment energy that December reaped. All of that was able to be lifted off the planet in one fell swoop. Oh, the angels were glad! We were then left with only trust to keep us warm as it seemed that the dreams of magic were not to be. Each day, my breath, a bellows to fan the flames higher as my body lay integrating the new. I saw myself with an IV drip of my divinity, which I had so boldly claimed, moving into me, drip by drip. I had thought myself ready to swallow it whole but my soul played its parental card and said, “No, too much too fast will leave you scorched.” I begged to differ and asked for a mugful. The response: drip, drip, drip. I jumped up to dance , to move, my mind proclaiming its sovereignty. I have not experienced but have watched folks shuffling down hospital corridors with their IV poles, seems no dancing allowed. As I was rendered once again prone and exhausted, the drip continued its slow, but ceaseless motion. Oh, the wisdom of these bodies! The wisdom of our higher selves, always showing us the short cut home.

Weary angel wondering why, reflecting my mind's energy.

Weary angel wondering why?

I have needed this time to acclimate to the new energies before I can move to play in them. I have had to bank the fires of my trust so that it is a constant flame that warms every moment, every impulse of my heart.  I can hear the roar of the fire of trust that is now blazing in my breast: I am loved, I am cared for, all is well. My mind had to go through its remaining fear programming: “You are not doing anything and it is 2013, get up!! How can you expect to co-create the new world flat on your back?” I had to face hissing, snarling FEAR in my dream space, trusting to the love of my heart to be my sword. I have felt the strength of that love as all melted at its touch, like the wicked witch of the west, dissolving in the mists. Fear is an illusion that has held us captive for so long. We are adults now, we can pull back the curtain and discover that it was only the old man, Oz, who was behind it all.

We have been through a tempering process as the flames of our experiences have begun  to transform us into molten gold. The liquidlovelight of my dreams, at last, pouring in.  We have been asked to grow up, to shoulder our responsibility to self. to get clear about what we want. Our thoughts are so rapidly becoming things that we have to be conscious of those thoughts. We have to know that all that is needed is inside of each of us, no outside sources trumping our own heart wisdom. We have had to walk old issues and relationships, down the road to love, releasing them to their higher self, trusting that they are perfectly cared for, as are we. I am learning to let go of judging the path of another and trusting that what presents itself, is that soul’s manifestation of experience that is their fast track home. Surrendering our playing God for another as well as dictating to God what tune to play in our heart, undoes the programming.  Allowing God to breathe the notes of our soul’s song into the flute of our hearts is walking our way to home.

My youngest son had a bout of the flu as did so many. After resistance, anger, and a bit of berating himself, he surrendered to it. Afterwards he said that he was grateful for the time it allowed him to think and dream. He was given a new vision of how to walk in his life. He saw all of his desires, the goodness meant for him, sitting ahead in the stream. He had been pushing to get to it, trying so hard in each endeavor, wanting to do it perfectly.  He realized that he was only asked to surrender and float down the stream. He would be brought to it in perfect timing and without fail as the water always flowed downstream. In his trusting in the abundance of the Creator’s love, all abundance flows in. Our minds can say, that is not how it works in the “real” world but it begins with my heart trusting, then yours, until all hearts know that we are the beloveds of our Mother/Father and their hearts’ desire is to give us, ours. Our streams converge and we will find ourselves playing together in the ocean of love.

This is the gift of January for all of us spiritual bungee jumpers (someone once called me that). Do we truly know that God loves us and cares for us on every level? Have we surrendered fully to the flow and placed our trust in divine timing? Do we have to spell out the particulars of what our Christmas list looks like or do we know that the Creator hears the feeling tone that we put out and answers in kind. Can we let go of our expectation of the hows, whens, whys of it all and trust what shows up, knowing it to be the perfect nourishment for our day?. Can we know ourselves good enough, worthy to receive this love? Can we drop in and allow our hearts to lead us, trusting the pause time to be as valuable as the times of action? Trusting that we are always in our perfect place at the perfect time. That we are not missing anything if we follow the clues of our heart.

IMGP4415I feel the winds of February bringing the scent of spring, of flowering anew, of expansion and rapid growth. My IV is still dripping with the essence of my divinity and I trust that the process will be complete when I hear the call to make a move. In this knowing, I am trusting each one of you to heed that call and trust the path where you are led, whether it be to sleep or create or dream in this moment. Open to it fully, licking the last bit of sweetness from each moment before letting it pass. Each moment fully embraced frees us to be present for the next….and the next, each experienced as the perfection of the now. I love you so.


Clearing and more Clearing as the Chaos Rises

Oh my, these final exams of the heart are not easy!

There are times where the process takes us so deep, we cannot catch our breath to reflect. I am on the fast train to mastery this month, judging by what has shown up in my world. I am grateful for the inner images that pull me into daytime naps and dreams. They are what is sustaining me. A couple of days ago,  a friend arrived to do our favorite Stargate card activity. It is an old deck and system, from the 70’s she thinks, yet retains a power punch. It gives an accurate reading of where you are in your life but requires you to do the interpretation work. By doing it together, we offer one another our insights. Before we began, she stated that she needed a 20 minute nap. I love friends who are as present to their needs as I am.

We each lay down on a couch, she fell asleep and I went into a dream like experience. I was praying and doing some healing work on my dear Joseph. All of a sudden, hundreds, then thousands, then millions of folks lined up behind him to receive the healing. I saw how we can stop thinking small, we are expansive beings and what we call forth for one, we can call forth for the multitudes. My heart was throbbing like a drum in my chest as I felt the ribbons from my heart reach out to each one. Amazing. I was then spiraling with Joseph. I was riding a red dragon, his was gold. We were spiraling up to the Great Central Sun and diving back down the core of the earth, like a corkscrew. We turned into a pink flame of love pulsing in the inner core of the earth. Any separation dissolved as there was only light and love. To be that flame was the all of all. The flame burst into a million stars throughout the galaxy, each star appearing separate as a point of light but I could see the firmament that wove them all together. All was connected. All was one. Glistening, shimmering so bright. We have been trained to have such a limited view like a pinprick instead of a huge telescope of understanding. We are expanding into oneness, unity, heartlight.

I recalled Joseph saying that he had begun to see people as neither masculine nor feminine, rather simply energy.  We are moving to this androgyny as all duality falls away. The light from that flame moved up through the earth and I saw how everyone is being fed this love from our mother as well as receiving it through the sun’s rays from our father. Wonder. Later as we pulled out our card decks to play, I pulled the healing heart card. I loved the image as I had visualized myself touching his heart along with all the others.

A dancing oak tree, so tall and graceful. I lay against her and asked to be tutored in her ways.

This morning I feel a clarity that is sharp. I see that we have been given opportunities to close loops with others. I see myself moving as quickly as I can to activate, expand, complete with others. Once done, I feel that that particular lifetime is closed. It is a strange feeling as I can have been in such closeness, experienced a fullness and depth of sharing only to hear the click of the lock as that book closes. We are clearing our remaining karma with folks, completing our commitments to hold the door open for others. Last night, a final one with a loved one swung closed. The depth of love is so great,  I have stood holding the gate open with full hearts.  Many are desirous of the warmth of the light but reluctant to take the steps to claim it as their own. It is a lesson to me to allow him his path. To finally close the door on the pushing energy that is second nature to me for all those I love. I felt sadness as I surrendered him to the holiness of his own timing and path. I have done my work, I bless him in his and now I step back and allow.

Surrender is the name of the game, over and over. Trusting the divine timing for each soul on its path. Grateful for the tests that challenge me to my core. I felt such a Kali type anger flow through me the other night, so tired of the deceptions, the lies that continue to exist, the desire to continue in the comfort of the old dead story. It did not come out with grace nor softness, it was hard and pointed.  I felt remorse move through me at my action. I had to forgive myself for allowing the pain of all the years, to color my eruption. I asked for forgiveness of the other and had to allow my own.

Oh, the dearness of all of our hearts. The more impersonal life feels to me, the greater my love for humanity. I feel so deeply the dearness of each one striving to move through the mountains of pain and suffering. I watched the old shadow of being exiled, being cast from the tribe, the community, arise. Oh, how many lifetimes had I been rejected for stating my truth. I felt gratitude that this feeling was here to be loved. This dear self who longed so for community and acceptance, without having to live a lie. I embraced her and told her we would become a community of two, I would hold to her always. Then I gave the feeling of loneliness to the earth and she took it with such love. Sigh…..more inner space to now be filled with my own Christ light of love. I breathed out the loneliness and breathed in the love of Source. What a magical exchange. We are so gifted. We are so loved. Everything that appears in our world these days, is of importance. Everything a gift to be opened with a grateful heart. Hear me, oh universe, I AM grateful!