Love Continues to Expand My Understanding

IMG_6036On Valentine’s Day, I was giddy with love. I wore a flower in my hair, drove to a small gathering singing my heart out, dressed in shades of pink, I toned and danced to waves of love. I spent the evening alone with the fire and my heart, and felt so loved and appreciated for who I am. I knew myself as love and the flame was blazing high.

Yesterday,  I awoke feeling head pressure and heaviness in my body. I laughed at myself,  I could be viewed as bi-polar, so up and out and then a more inward down. I listened to a presentation about love that struck me with a good question. “If I knew I was infinitely loved, would I do this?” Interesting look at what we do as a way of compensating for not being loved. Then the idea of love and whether we are “ready for it” as if it were something to prepare for. If we could feel that connection to Source, to our higher self, would we turn away from it, would we put it on hold?

Opening to love

Opening to love

I have been working with clearing energies standing between us and our divine counterpart reunions. A friend said, “I am not ready for a partner in my life.” I thought about that and realized that she was thinking of the old version of love. We have been conditioned to believe a lover is a responsibility, someone else to think of, another aspect added to the to-do list, especially for us women who have been in the caretaker roles for so long. We feel that we would have to accommodate this other, somehow. I then felt my skull, Leopold and his support. I do not think of him all the time. He comes in and out of my awareness, always there when I am in need of support, yet not demanding my constant attention. He is teaching me so much about love.

As sovereign beings, we are graduating into a freer love, a love that has no limits. Another friend of mine has recently experienced her beloved anchoring within. He came to her on the inner planes and showed patience and respect as she went through her fears about him showing up in her life. He supports her fully, supports her husband in his expansion…there is no sense of limitation. He is very respectful, asking if she would like more input in situations before offering it. She can tune in to him when she desires and tune him out also. What a gift! Another friend has discovered her beloved has taken the form of an albino whale. They work together on the waters of the earth and his support and love is profound. Interesting, the love coming in all these different guises but when it comes, every cell in your body knows it!  All helping us to expand our parameters and beliefs about what love can be, how it might look, how it can feel.

What I am understanding in this moment, is that the reunion is happening within first. We are opening to allow the counterparts’ lovelight to flow in and occupy our cells with us. There have been fires of purification (I have been sweating and radiating heat for days) that are burning off the dross, making room for the love to enter. We no longer have to clear the old, now it is about purifying. No need to know the what was or particulars of the emotions or memories. All is consumed by the fires ignited within, in response to our desire to open fully to love. Our counterparts are assisting us in this purification process as the time is coming for the anchoring of divine love by these couples, all about the earth.

I set sail with a walnut shell and a leaf from the ground and a pool of water in the hollow of a tree.

I set sail with a walnut shell and a leaf from the ground and a pool of water in the hollow of a tree.

Once we truly understand oneness and accept ourselves fully as the love that we are, we open the door to our counterparts taking physical form. No small task as how many truly are in love with themselves? I awake now and ask to see everything that enters my world, through the eyes of love. To see the gift in every moment, in every person that appears on my screen of life. The universe will continue to give you opportunities to strengthen this self love. This came home when I retrieved the mail. There were wedding invitations for all five members of our family……all were addressed to the person and included: “and guest”. All except mine. I laughed! Of course, I have been single for years but the thought came that I was seen as someone not thought of as being in a love relationship. The old me would have felt hurt, the new me delighted in the reminder that I am love. I smiled in the knowing that my beloved is coming to me, and I am my own beloved.

Perhaps, your beloved is already in physical form but for thousands upon thousands of us, our divine counterparts have remained with Source or the higher octaves in order to fully support us making it to this point. We are asked to embrace these waves of love hitting our fields, to fully accept the ups and downs. As the love flows in and the bliss arises, it flushes out any pockets of not love, remaining. Hence the dive in energy as that flows through and is embraced in gratitude on its way out. Another wave of bliss catches us, and then the dive……on and on it continues, with us riding the extremes until it begins to come to center and we find ourselves floating in stillness and peace. And love, greater than anything we have imagined or known in lifetimes. Wholeness awaits. Open your heart wide and allow the tsunami to take you, surrendering fully to where it will lead. Love is our teacher and she will guide us home.


Solar Flares Lighting Our Hearts Home, Eclipse Here We Come!

Our beautiful sun which loves us so. I am soaking up all Helios and Vesta are offering us.

Our beautiful sun which loves us so. I am soaking up all Helios and Vesta are offering us.

I have no idea who I am. The energy, from all the X class solar flares we are experiencing, is magnifying everything we no longer need. The dross of our lives is disappearing under the benevolent rays of our dear sun. It is as if the sun is holding up a huge magnifying glass over us to burn away all of our warts. The higher vibrating light pulls up the lower vibrations of trauma and pain that we stored in our being. It is all being cleared out, a bonfire of pain and suffering releasing. It is a blessing yet can feel like anything but. The body struggles to stay upright. Mind lapses, starting something only to find I have lost my thread. I sit there in confusion, what was I doing? How does any of this activity make sense? Waves of sadness, grief, despair, excitement, joy, roll in and then out. Heat overwhelms me in flashes and chills find me running for my shawl. Hot tea, cold water, nausea, head pressure, a level of fatigue that puts me back to newborn status so that caring for myself becomes a full time job. Jitters, a revving up inside while being in slow motion outside. There is no center point, no ground to stand upon. It feels like a free fall and there is no landing target to align to.  I know to surrender and allow myself to rest in solitude and quiet. To simplify my days down to the bare essentials and breathe. The energies demand this level of attention.

What is new for me in this now, is this intense yearning for more of myself. I am so wanting reunion with all aspects of me. This wanting and missing has me in tears. It is something I have not felt before and I am witnessing it with curiosity when I can move out of the clutches of the heartache to observe it. I did not know there was more to miss but my heart has come alive with this knowing of the all that is a part of me. We are at the end of separation. We have followed the outbreath of the Creator to its farthest shore and are now being called Home. My heart is responding to the beaconing light from home. All that matters is to follow that light back to its source… Source. I can feel the other aspects of myself, on other dimensional timelines and some here in this one, yearning to merge once again into the truth of our I AM presence. My heart knows that we are one. It is not clear to me who they are nor where these aspects reside. My heart feels their absence as surely as my mother’s heart can feel any of my children’s hearts. It is an ache like no other. It is for the beloved, the I AM, the wholeness, the Father and the Mother, all rolled into one.

Spiraling ever closer to myself in each moment. It does not allows feel that way as the orbit can send me far away yet swings back again to center.

Spiraling ever closer to myself in each moment. It does not allows feel that way as the orbit can send me far away yet swings back again to center.

This weekend’s solar eclipse feels like a trigger to launch me more fully into union with the All. I am opening myself to receive all the gifts that it brings. All the desirings of my heart boil down to one note……unity. Wholeness. Oneness. I desire to melt into my Mother’s/Father’s embrace of love. To experience the magnitude of the light that I AM. To swim in the sea of unity consciousness with my brothers and sisters. To know the truth of oneness with every cell of my being, rather than with my mind’s belief in it.

I AM ready! I AM ready for this union with myself and all of creation. My heart has become a lighthouse beaming a signal back to the Creator, yes, it shouts in a morse code of light, YES, I hear the call and I am coming. I am coming home. My heart is a tractor beam of love, locked on its course. I am going home. I am uniting with my I AM presence in this body. This body is a chalice through which all of heaven can touch this beautiful jewel of a planet that is our mother. I open to this. I am this. All walls have come down. There is only this pulse, this beat of my heart, this tone, this beam of light. I can hear it, feel it, sing it, dance it, writhe with it, cry with it, expand with it.

My eyes have had trouble focusing, as I adjust to seeing our own light radiating so bright.

My eyes have had trouble focusing, as I adjust to seeing our own light radiating so bright.

Who knew we were the stargates? The portals to the universe. The All contained within our heart space. I sit and watch the flames of my heart and am awed. We are here, at the edge of the frontier, reporting back our experiences. Our grandchildren will read these stories of what it was like to feel separate and alone and they will see us as heroes, courageous and wild. I sit (or rather lie) and hold vigil over this heart of mine. I watch the flames as they leap and spark as the old is burned away. I welcome the rawness as the husks fly like fireflies in the sky. To step into that flame and be shot into the sky like a rocket, exploding into the light that I truly am. Courage is called for to let go of all boundaries and allow ourselves to soar. I see the night sky streaming with our lights. What a lightshow we are creating!

Good Friday Leads Into an Easter Eve Vigil

A cross of flowers is more truth for me.

A cross of flowers is more truth for me.

Having been raised in the Catholic tradition, Easter holds many memories for me. Good Friday with its fish fry in the church basement, the men and women in the kitchen, sweating over the deep fat fryers, turning out the golden crunchy pieces of fish and french fries. Huge bowls of coleslaw at the ready to be plopped onto your plate with big spoon.  The older women in their aprons manning (now isn’t that a funny expression? manning??) the homemade pie tables that we kids were the most interested in. Berry pie, apple pie, rhubarb and sometimes a chocolate or banana cream pie.

We would have started our day with hot cross buns that came fresh from the oven as my mother loved to bake. In the early evening, we would have headed to church to walk the stations of the cross, reciting our prayers at each image placed on the side walls inside the church. The evening shadows would have added to the mystery of being in the church, reflecting the dark events depicted of Jesus carrying the cross. I always tested myself if I would have offered to help lift his burden, and my heart cried out a yes from my small frame. I did not understand it but wanted only for his suffering to end.

Altar of golden light.

Altar of golden light with flower icons from my day at the museum flower show.

This Good Friday found me deep in contemplation, feeling the connection to the Essenes and many lifetimes in cloisters and abbys. A connection with a friend brought forward that there remained a bit of guilt in my field. I saw the perfection of it coming to my awareness on this day. I felt the release as I turned my attention to clear it. I went from hours in the cave of my heart to popping out to watch a movie and eat pizza! From the sacred to the mundane, my system created balancing.  We celebrated Holy Saturday as our Easter as my younger son was working on Sunday and for my daughter it was Easter in New Zealand. We had a lovely day, with a long video call included, so we felt the family unity and support. I experienced waves of emotion on and off all day. Tears right at the surface in response to everything; the sunshine that allowed us to eat breakfast on the lawn, the hugs of my sons, the laughter of my daughter so far away, my former hubby grilling the salmon, the grace said by my son and felt by all. The earth seemed to be rolling in energy waves beneath my feet, an excitement building and with it the letting go of what has been. My sons were feeling the emotional waves and one pointed out that some tears were for what we were leaving behind as we move into this new energy. Despite our overwhelming desire to be in the new, in our humanness, we mourn the passing of the familiar.

Evening came and everyone dispersed to their homes. Alone, glad of the quiet, I hopped into bed. A memory came of a dream the night before of my beloved taking my hand and raising me up. He said, “You have not known true love and now you shall.” I felt the truth and wonder of it flow through me. There would be no separation between us.

A friend then texted, telling me she had a message for me. She asked if I felt excitement and did I feel the beloved approaching. She could feel him coming for me and was given the words, “You will never be alone again after the rain.” My body tingled with the truth of those words. I had lit a candle before getting into bed, next to my beloved’s image. I had never done that before but felt to do so this Easter Eve. After our conversation, the rain began to fall. A thunder and lightening storm ensued which pulled me from bed so as to have a wider view. I love the energy of storms. I sat in the dark and watched until the lightening played itself out. I then got my computer and had a conversation on facebook with a friend feeling her ascended master beloved coming through also. So many soul connections happening in the past few days, my heart knows something powerful is afoot. A friend had posted a Gregorian chant for Easter:

IMG_3092I lit some candles, popped a croissant in the oven and made myself a hot drink to see me through the night.The voices of this chant filled my heart. I felt called to a vigil, to witness the earth being cleansed of the old energies of pain, persecution and suffering. I want to greet the dawn of the resurrection energies with the sun.  The rain continues to pour down, more gently now. I have no idea of what is next for me or any of us. I offer myself to this mystery.  The candles, the soaring music, the heat of my heart as it feels the fire of resurrection……all create this moment. I have no expectations. I am full of gratitude for my warm robe and drink, the roof where the rain drums its rhythm while I lie here snug, for the song of my beloved singing through my cells, for all the hearts that I love around the world and the way this computer makes that connection possible. Truly I am blessed.

A stone being that I created the other day that felt like me in a contemplative lifetime.

A stone being that I created the other day that felt like me in a contemplative lifetime.

May your Easter dawn bright with promise and may you feel the truth of this gift of resurrection from our brother, Jesus’ and our sister, Mary Magdalene’s hearts. The Christ consciousness is alive on this earth, in your heart and mine. May you feel its blessing.


My Beloved Anchors Within My Body

At the Shakespeare Garden in Golden Gate Park, the cherry blossoms framed the men doing tai chi. I loved how the two were mirroring one another.....the balance being shown to me.

At the Shakespeare Garden in Golden Gate Park, the cherry blossoms framed the men doing tai chi. I loved how the two were mirroring one another…..the balance being shown to me.

The day after our Equinox celebration, a friend and I drove to San Francisco for the yearly flower and art show. The city enlists florists to create their interpretation of a piece of art in the museum’s collection. It is a day of wonder for me, combining two of my passions, art and flowers. As we were driving down to the city, I began to sob. I felt my beloved enter into my body and anchor himself there. He said that it was time and that he wanted my cells to adjust to his energy before our meeting when he will take physical form. I have needed the past few days to integrate this experience. I am grateful for my friend’s presence as she felt his energy enter and witnessed my words. He assured me that was part of his planning so that I would have confirmation as to what had taken place. Oh, to be loved so!

IMG_3068 Since that moment, it has been an amazing feeling of balance within me. Today is the full moon in Libra, bringing its gift of balance. I feel a deepening of the truth of love being all that there is. I am floating in a new softness that came in with the winds of the Equinox, so gently leading us all more fully into our hearts. I am humbled and awed by the beauty of the plan for awakening. After miles of travail and hardship, I have landed on a soft carpet that floats on air. The magic carpet ride we have dreamed of for so long!

When I look into the mirror, I see his eyes looking back at me and it makes me laugh. Hello in there! He winks and if I continue to stare, I dissolve in tears as his love is reflected to me. I breathe deep to hold this love, to  offer my chalice with a steady hand that he might fill it to the brim. How wise is he, to offer me this gift of time to allow our energies to mingle and assimilate to one another. He is  the other and yet he is not. He is me, and I, him. We know oneness in this union. I have no yearning for the next step, as his presence fills me so fully in this now moment. I know that he will take physical form, that we will know the joys of playing in this new earth, together in form. I surrender to divine timing for the when, how, where questions, trusting in the wonder of it all.

IMG_3005A friend had a dream of bumping into her beloved a few times, not speaking but knowing he was important to her. She felt a sense of guilt about her husband, how would he be? But she was assured that all would be well, this is a win win world where all find their heart’s desire. She then wanted to meet her beloved and speak directly but was told that in truth we love surprises. She was to hold the knowing but surrender as to how or when it would happen.

I loved this as we have spent so much time trying to figure out how to take the next step on our path of awakening, and yet, it can only be known moment by moment in the heart. Our minds get a bit frantic as they felt charged with keeping us safe. Now we can let our minds know that all is well and that our mighty I AM presence is on the job, directing all aspects of our lives. Our hearts are our truth barometers and will not lead us astray.

The cheery blossoms with their pink and green hues.

The cheery blossoms with their pink and green hues.

I am so grateful to be in this soft world of brilliant colors, smells and feelings. I crawled inside a friend’s lilac bush the other day, recalling doing the same as a child in the lilac bushes on either side of the barn door at my grandparents’ home. I sucked the sweetness from the tiny trumpeting petals and felt drunk from its fragrance. We are in the new land where magic and miracles live. My beloved is a miracle to me, humming his tune as I dive inside to weave my heartsong with his. I am blessed. In our oneness, we fill our chalice to the brim with liquidlovelight and send it out in ribbons to the hearts of all to awaken to their own beauty. I drink to him, I drink to you. We are one heart, beating strong.

Landing In

Beautiful coastline of Oregon

For years, I have had a vision of landing in a small town on the coast that would become my home. I am close! Yes, after three years of traveling about, it feels that I may have honed in on the area that has been calling me. I have a vision of a house on a cliff, looking out over the ocean. I am in the process of searching for that place. I cannot tell you the excitement and joy that I feel as I feel into the air and water.

A better view of our creation!

I had heard of an etheric city of light that resides off shore here. Some call it the Crystal Palace, others the City of Gold. It is made up of pink crystals (yes, I am such a lover of pink as I work on the pink rose line and carry one in my heart). Yesterday, a dear friend took me to the beach that has the closest access to the rocks that mark the entrance to this city. They are off shore aways. We sat and toned our love out to the city. It felt wonderful as the sea wind whipped our hair about and sent our voices flying. I called another friend on the east coast to join in and create a trinity of sound. Later we danced on the shore and splashed in the freezing water. As sleep took me down on the sand, I asked to be allowed inside the city. I was blessed with a vision of it. I was taken underwater by a dolphin and came up inside a huge crystal cavern. There were steps carved out of the pink rock that I walked up. I was handed a towel and dressed in a beautiful gossomar pink gown. I made my way to a huge hall upstairs. I glanced over to the left and saw my beloved sitting there at a table. He came forward and took my hand. I was stunned and could hardly speak. He asked if I wanted a tour and I was so surprised to discover that parts of it were like the home I have visualized so often. He told me that was because it was my home. He reminded me that we were married. He asked if I had forgotten our wedding. I said, no but I have not seen you since. He assured me that he has not left me. My mind was struggling with all of this information, not able to make heads nor tails of it. He said, “Let go of the mind, feel it with your heart.” Deep breath. OK, I can do that.

Both of our end pieces of wood had holes in them that acted as portals for the energy to flow.

I awoke on the beach with a deep sob. Oh, it is not easy to go between these dimensions at times. My heart has to expand and then let go of any wanting the experience to remain. Deep breath to return to gratitude for the gift that I had just received. I am thankful! My friend and I gathered rocks, shells and driftwood to create an altar of love to send our energy of appreciation out to the city, It was so fun to build it. This is how it will feel in the new….like child’s play, simple. Yet so powerful as the energy transmitted through our arrangement was very powerful, flowing out to the city and back again and then out to the earth. We truly are so powerful!

Now to see the place my angels find for me. LIfe is becoming more magical and I am so glad!

We are Ready!

Me capturing the beauty of the river.

Things are moving so fast, it takes so much energy simply to be in the energies and then I want to write and reflect on the energies. Ready for bed but I want to try and capture some of this before it disappears into the next moment. I am in a new space. Betwixt and between worlds had become the norm for some time. But now I am in a space where interaction with the illusion is taxing to the point of not being possible. I went into a grocery store today and was overwhelmed walking past the aisle for detergents. Chemical smells are toxic to me. Our senses are so heightened that a tiny sprig of lavender, crushed under my pillow from the end of a long day on my braid, woke me in the night with its power. LIghts seem too bright, even the beautiful outdoors can be too much for me when I am in this stage. The feel of the breeze on my skin can be raw.

sunlight sparkling

A friend sent a phrase she had received for me in meditation, harvesting celestial diamonds. I love that phrase and it made me think of my beloved, El Morya, with the diamond in his turban. I was drawn once again to daydreaming of the possibility of him as my beloved. I then read a recent channeling from Saint Germain saying that the upcoming solstice would see many ascended masters and archangels, lady masters and light beings taking embodiment in order to reunite with their twin flame! My heart lept at this sign as I had never heard anyone else speak of this. I felt its truth for myself but did not really think of how many others are awaiting their twins from the stars. Oh, I so wish to see this happen for all of us. For everyone to have their divine counterpart to share the lovelight with. I always felt that it would be the step that would set this new earth into motion. It feels imminent.

This marking on the path intrigued me. The rungs of the ascension ladder we are climbing?

The fatigue factor is mounting amongst the wayshowers. We are tired to the bone. I am ready for a long honeymoon in the Great Central Sun or some other exotic locale, perhaps a swing by Venus to bathe in the lovelight there. This show cannot continue much longer. I am ready to push any button just to see something happen! At this stage, any sign of movement would come as a relief. The care of the physical vessel, the wonder where to lay it each day, the inability to even imagine the process of searching for a place to live no less then furnishing it,  is too mind boggling for me. Continuing to journey feels hard. I feel so done. I want to lie in a field and be one with the breeze, the grasses, the dirt, the sun. Let the elements play with me, return me to the elements that I came from.

The view of oleanders outside the window as seen from the couch where I have lain prone.

This cannot go on for another six months. I feel that the solstice will spark some outer change as I move through my dreamlike days. I feel that I will drift into the new, floating into that space with such ease. Greeting my beloved as if it is the most natural thing in the world to find him beside me. Letting go of all beliefs……be lie fs. There is a lie embedded in them. A limitation as there is in any form of expectation. They confine what is possible in each new moment. I have shed it all, and know nothing. I live my truth in the moment, aware that the next moment, it could differ greatly. I celebrate this! I am showing up with all of who I am in each moment with my heart open. I am accepting the shadow aspects that are still coming to visit and be loved. I have let go of thinking that they “should” be gone by now. Oh, here is Miss Victim come to call once again. “Hello darling, you did not receive your due last time? I am so glad that you have called again. Let me embrace you and thank you for serving me as you did. We were a good team for a time. Now we can hug and say goodbye.”

Ascending does not mean the end. Rather a beginning of more joy, more understanding, more reunions with loved ones and more wholeness to offer in service.  We are a continual work in progress as we turn every aspect of our being over to the will of God. As we surrender to divine timing. As we trust in the order of the universe. As we know ourselves as sparks in God’s heart. I am ready for my new home, to create it through my heart. Ready to live in it. Tomorrow I pack my dear Maxie (my car) and head up to Mount Shasta to camp and attend an event before the solstice. It will be good to sleep on my mother again. To be with the mountain and water and see what magic it all holds. Thank you all for shining your light so bright. It helps me to see at night!


This jade bush outside the front door is covered in beautiful pink blossoms that the bees love. Today a butterfly wanted some of the sweet nectar.

Days of quiet joy. Tonight I am thrilled that it is a burn day here in Sacramento, you are allowed to have a fire. Logs softly falling in the grate, embers glowing, me knitting on the couch, lovely music in the background. Sigh…..I feel as contented as a cat. I made a casserole of vegies; beets, sweet potatoes, white potatotoes, brussel sprouts and asparagus. Olive oil, salt and pepper and into the oven and out came a delicious dinner. Body is content with its cup of tea and cookie now and I feel such peace.

Something that I read today has been in my thoughts. I can’t find the source right now but it was about how our judgments “pin” others to a spot in their journey when they may be trying to move from that spot. That really spoke to me and I could see how I had done this with others and how I wanted everyone to experience the freedom to be who they are in the moment. To not be limited by who I judge them to be. Certainly, I do not like others to limit who I am in this moment! Continuing lessons on detached observation rather than judgment. Not easy! I have to be vigilant with my mind as judgments spring up like weeds. As soon as I become more conscious of this in my life, the more it seems to appear but I know that it is in catching the judgments in the moment, that my victory lies. I am telling myself, “You are loved, dear Linda. You are love, you do not have to judge this.” I see that anything that arises in me that is not love, is an opportunity for me to practice self love. As all that arises is either fear or love so if it is not love, then I need to tend to whatever part of me is feeling fear on some level. I can soothe myself like a fussy child, “You are loved sweet Linda, you are love.” Sigh….

A friend and I were doing our "owning my power" stances on our walk yesterday.

The other idea that came through today was from a book I read years ago but just rediscovered in a box. It is called, Dance of the Jaguar by Terry Andrews. It is a quick and fun work of fiction about a middle aged woman rediscovering her power after a lifetime of giving it away to her deceased husband and her family. One statement about our power struck me: “If you are not using it, someone else is.” Wow. I know the truth of that.  I want to use my own power. She talks about when we give up our power to others (allowing others to make decisions for us, accepting our beliefs unchallenged to see if they still fit us) we compensate by feeling a need to control others. This resonated from my marriage days when I gave up so much of my power and yes, I definitely felt the need to control others. I wanted the kids to do what I wanted them to do. I wanted life to conform to my vision. I did not accept what was, so much energy wasted on trying to change the life that I was in! It took me falling apart to discover that I could only change me. There is no fufillment in controlling others. First of all, it does not work! You cannot make anyone but yourself behave in a different way. Continuing to try to change others or situations is a losing battle. We have the power to create the life that we desire. We are the creators of our lives by our thoughts and feelings. What we focus on, we create. I am loving how this new earth energy is streaming in. We are creating in the ethers, as it were. Our daydreams and visualizations are forming the new before our eyes.

This pretty pink primrose popped up from the duff of the garden bed. Its seed must have lain dormant all winter and now it is blossoming in all its glory!

In my meditation today, I was lying in my garden, admiring the beauty and fragrance of the flowers. I was so surprised to find myself lying in my beloved’s arms. He laughed at my surprise and told me to lie back down and savor all the beauty that I had created. I did with delight. After a time, we got up and began to walk into a wood that was near. It was a woods like I grew up with back East, beautiful decidious trees with sunlight streaming in. We followed a path until we came upon an enticing spot where there was a batch of sun. We lay down and took in the beauty of the branches and sky. We lay there in such peace and I watched as we dissolved into the duff of the forest floor. I had experienced this once before in a cranial sacral healing but not with another. It was fascinating to feel. Rich humus, perfect for growing anything. I watched as our spirits emerged from this humus…..we were particles of shimmering light. It was fascinatingly fun as we could merge and blend and flow with one another with ease. It was so cool!

We walked to a footbridge over a clear, running stream. As we looked at the dancing sparkles of sunlight on the water, we became one with them. We were dancing on the water! We could merge at will with anything, the water, the forest floor, the flowers in the garden, the trees…..everything. There were no edges, no distinctions. All flowed as one life.  It was truly an amazing experience! So freeing and fluid.

Sunset reflected on the water from yesterday's walk.

I felt only joy when I came out of this experience, knowing that I am creating all this on some dimension that I will be able to tap into when the timing is right. I felt no yearning for it to be here, rather glad in my heart for having been there for a time. Here, there, it is difficult to make sense of what is real. The feelings of joy were real and that is what I hold to. Moment by moment to be in joy, in my imagination or in this dense reality……it matters not. The feeling of joy is what matters. To experience it fully and let it go. So that I am free to experience the cashier at the grocery store, the sunset streaming across the sky tonight, the dying coals in the fireplace. LIfe is becoming more magical to me, day by day…..moment by moment.



Love and Rage……the dance

This is my latest painting, first one done in my son’s art studio here in San Francisco. It is such a joy to paint side by side with him and critique one another’s work. Our styles and subject matter are very different but our sense of beauty is shared. Of course, my focus is divine love and the beloveds coming together. Yes, still waiting for mine to show up! Painting the feeling that I have, helps me to anchor it here in the physical. The golden chalice is a reoccurring theme for me. I believe that twin flame couples have a chalice that they fill with their love each day. I invite the Creator in to add Her/His light and love and offer it in service for the highest good of all. This painting brings my beloved closer as well as reminding me that he is always with me.

11-11-11 happened and much energy was moved. Exiting duality is tougher than I thought! This is a deity whose name I cannot recall from the Retreat into Snow Mountain that I did with Tom Kenyon. He said that this was one of the protectors who he called in to secure the space while we went through our transformations with White Tara and Black Tara. A fierce being who helps in destroying (releasing is a gentler word) all that no longer serves us. It seems that the energies of 11-11-11, released blocks that we had. Once released, all the emotions that had been stuck, could suddenly move. It felt a bit overwhelming to have old, old stuff coming up. I had to remind myself and friends who called, (love that we can share these experiences without judgment) that it was coming up to be felt once again before departing for good. Feel it, witness it, let it move one through is my mantra. I felt it was the final uncoiling or unwinding… please say it is so!! I found myself going into judgment of myself as I felt and expressed anger. My oldest son was bringing me his understanding of unity consciousness and my ego sprang into attack mode (see the claws on this creature!!) as I felt judged. My ego wanted to impress upon him that I have been on this path for longer than he, hence I should know more. Ha! He was being the mirror for me to see all the places where I was judging myself and not loving me. He did have new knowings that benefit me. So there was a fear that I was not so wise and wonderful. A fear that I had missed something and had gotten it wrong.

We have to love every part of our shadow. All the icky parts that we have hidden away have been released and are asking for love. “Will you love me, Linda even if I got it wrong? “On the heels of this melt down that involved all the ways that I have not been seen in this life, I interfered in the relationship between my sons. Yikes! Ok, duality consciousness again, judgment of myself again. Ego ran screaming, I want to live alone! What am I doing living with my kids??? As if that would protect me from painful things coming up. No, I know it does not work like that. I can be all alone and things will come up through a phone call, an email, an encounter. Life shows up and our higher selves are ever vigilant to continue bringing us what we do not want to look at. They know that until all is brought to the light of day and loved, we are bound. And we are freedom loving beings. We want to be free emotionally. We want to live our truth in each moment. We want to be the love that we truly are.

Surrender seems to be the name of the game over and over. Surrendering and returning to that place of peace and love in my heart. Calming the inner storm, allowing the truth of the love to make itself known once again. And loving the wild woman who surges out as in loving her, I am released from her. I am grateful for all of me that is showing up. I am grateful for the light that is filling in the spaces where I let go of the past. I am grateful for a new moment to begin again. I am grateful for all the loving hearts that reflect my love back at me. Thank you!