Equinox Energies

fullsizeoutput_12cdAwake since 2 a.m….the way of it this week. Fatigue following my every footstep yet sleep is elusive. There is a level of anxiety, electricity running in me that does not turn off. I feel stretched, my skin seems porous, hardly able to contain the energy vibrating within. I am packing for the East coast with no knowing of what I am about, other than the first couple of weeks being with my kids and grandchild. Then?
I am desiring to “clear my wake” here at the family home. To box up and get rid of the stuff that accumulates. What to keep? Will any thing be needed? It all feels surreal to me. For so long I have known that we are creator beings, able to manifest all of our needs. I sense this becoming our reality and yet there is this now.
Deep breath. I am here. Inhale the scent of coffee, enjoy the comfort of a warm bowl of oatmeal. Relax into this known space of comfort. My heart thrums, all is well. And my being feels tremulous with the holding open of this equinox gateway. May all beings walk forth into this light and freedom. This one closes with a clang that is already echoing. There are always more opening as one closes, yet this one is significant in ways that are beyond my conscious knowing. My body feels the import and is fairly vibrating with the opportunity it offers for freedom. May all beings walk forth in truth and love. The beauty way is here.

A One Way Ticket To the New

IMG_569711:11p.m. and I have not been able to fall asleep as yet despite a feeling of exhaustion that has been with me most of the day.  Just grabbed my computer, turned the wifi back on and took note of the time as I began to type. We are in a surreal time. There is a dreamy quality to the days of late. It takes more and more energy to do things in this environment. I feel that I am moving in slow motion. My legs and feet weighted with the effort of taking on much in the way of outer activity. My mind processing information slowly or not at all. The grasp of memory loosens and fades. The dream world calls me ever deeper.

There is a peace that has infused my being. I feel so complete with everything. I sense I am leaving. On one level this is true, I have a one way ticket to travel yet on a deeper level, I feel I am leaving this dimensional space. In less than two weeks, I am to fly to the East coast where my three children and my grandson live. Time is disappearing so any idea of projecting plans into the future becomes more and more difficult. There is this now moment which informs me. I take the action as inspired. The ability to make things happen through thought is fading. More and more there is only feeling our way with our hearts.

I have this desire to clear my wake…..getting rid of things and packing what remains in some orderly fashion. I have done this dozens of times and can barely muster the energy to engage with it all again. I am at the house where I raised our kids. My former husband has graciously allowed me to return over the years whenever one of the kids has come back for a visit or I was in need of a temporary resting space. I have a strange sense that I will not return to this house. I am feeling such a sense of completion with this part of my life, even this area of the country.

Have we come to the edge of the known world? Are we about to take that step into the new?

Have we come to the edge of the known world? Are we about to take that step into the new?

The one way ticket feels true on many levels. We are preparing to travel and we will not be returning to life as we have known it. We do not know how any of this works. How will we get from here to the new earth? Will our vision change and we will perceive a dimensional space that was previously closed to us? Will we walk through a portal that suddenly appears? Will we take our bodies? Will we flash into our light bodies? I first heard of physical ascension in 1990 and immediately I knew that was an experience that I planned for this lifetime. My sense is that I will retain my body but it will be refined and rejuvenated. I sense we will get to choose its appearance. I like the idea of my thirty-three year old self.

It is all unknown. I have a few folks around me who are feeling this also. I have heard the words, “I am ready” for the past year or more. The difference now is that I feel so at peace. So satisfied with what I have done in this lifetime. I received the message some time ago, that I had completed what I came for. I anchored the frequency that I brought from home. I had thought that I wanted to have the experience of a beloved as well as living in a love pod with those of like resonance. Those have been my dreams and visions for so long.

I love how the vine supports the increasing weight of this squash. It is now twice as big and still hanging on. It has ripened to a golden tan. Will it drop off soon? I see myself in this squash.

I love how the vine supports the increasing weight of this squash. It is now twice as big and still hanging on. It has ripened to a golden tan. Will it drop off soon? I see myself in this squash, ripe and ready for harvest.

Now the yearning is gone. I sense all of that awaits me but in a new space. I am ready to enter that space. There is nothing more to do. There is no juice left in the old. Most of it feels heavy and dense. Nature offers her beauty and that allows me to float through my days. For now, there is only the loving and savoring of all that is here.

Is my one way ticket to the stars? To my love pod? To a ship in the sky? To a new life in Montreal or Vermont near my children or somewhere brand new?

I know that there is a level of fatigue from all the lifetimes spent on this beautiful planet. There is a desire to rest deeply amidst beauty, in harmony with all. To return to the Oneness and merge. There is also a sense of excitement, of wonder that is running through me at what is around the corner. I am grateful to be here witnessing it transpire. The land of our dreams is calling us. A new journey, a new frontier awaits. May all beings be free to hear the call and cross into the land of their dreams.

 

Are We Done Yet?

We can flow free like this river, cascading into a clear pool that reflects light.

We can flow free like this river, cascading into a clear pool that reflects light.

I am observing in myself and others, the enormity of the love we have for ourselves! The universe is working overtime to bring to our awareness everything that we have created thus far, that was not fully felt or processed in the moment. It is asking us if we are done yet. Do we need more of this pain or trauma to learn from or are we ready to move on?  We are being presented with our emotions once again in order to move through and beyond their prior weight in our emotional field. We are being offered freedom! The opportunity to view our lives through a new lens, to look at the past with a loving eye. We can rewrite the past and allow ourselves a brighter future. We can love who we were when we felt that pain and choose to let it all go. Or not. The choice is always ours. There is no one else who has to be involved when we know that we have created every aspect of our lives. Perhaps not consciously in this realm, but from our higher, broader self, we set it all in motion for the experience that we would gain.

We can choose to stay under the clouds of despair or seek the light in our hearts.

We can choose to stay under the clouds of despair or seek the light in our hearts.

Now we are choosing to evolve this planet and all of us on her. That means we all have to lighten up. Our unresolved pains are heavy and in order to lift off, we must cut them loose. We need to free ourselves of the weight and begin to feel the joy of a new perspective.

I have found myself laughing out loud when something shows up of late. I can almost hear myself asking this aspect of me,

“How about this? Does this hold any trigger still? And what about this? Does this hold any remnant that is unresolved ?” On and on it goes as we lighten our loads and our hearts.

That deep recesses of our hearts are being emptied of the old to make way for the the new love pouring in.

That deep recesses of our hearts are being emptied of the old to make way for the the new love pouring in.

All of this while our physical bodies are stretched to the max trying to assimilate all of this radiant liquid love light that is pouring into our vessels. Exhaustion is common as well as fogginess, an inability to think in the old linear way, body aches and pains, a myriad of strange symptoms that the medical profession struggles to put a name to. We are ascending, bringing our divinity into our bodies. It is quite a feat! Thank your body for all that it does even if you find yourself having to take two or three naps a day.

Many are finding their identities dissolving as old habits and expressions no longer serve the being we are becoming. There can be a pulling away, an inward focus as the new anchors in. I have found myself sitting up straighter, my posture improving as this new being is huge and demands more room in my body.

We are in the end times, the end of the old matrix controlled life. We are freeing ourselves to live a life of peace, harmony, freedom and love. We are co-creating a world of wonder and unity. Let us be mindful that these times call for gentleness, for all others and for ourselves. Everyone is doing their best. It is not an easy time but know that we all petitioned to be a participant on this planet to witness and contribute to this massive change.

Time to spread our wings and fly!

Time to spread our wings and fly!

Knowing this, we can appreciate and open ourselves to all that is arising. All is seeking to be felt, to be loved, to be accepted. We can determine to feel everything fully so as to free our hearts to have a greater capacity to love. We are meant to be in love with everything! Think how much our greater being loves us, to move all the pieces on the chess board that are required to bring forth the memory of one painful situation or another, into our lives in this now. It is mind boggling how it is all arranged. Whenever I think of it, I am flooded with appreciation for myself and the Creator. What wondrous times we live in!

 

A Dream of My Deepest Dream

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I do not know whose work this is to credit but am offering a thank you for its beauty and the feeling it evokes.

Awoke from a dream of a sky ship coming for me. Someone I was living with came running to tell me that there was a huge ship outside waiting for me. We were living high up on a multi-storied building. I looked outside and saw it. I looked down and saw folks on the ground staring upwards in amazement at the sight of this ship.

In the next moment, I was being welcomed inside this ship. Oh my! The intimacy, the joy, the wonder of it all was like a dream. For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of community, of living a life with a level of intimacy and connection that has been absent in this reality. In the dream, I had the thought that my heart had known the truth all along. I had kept that kernel of desire banked in the deepest recesses of my heart, like a live coal awaiting only a fanning to leap into flames.

IMG_5603I have spent my life yearning for it, thinking of it, visualizing it, dreaming of it……this feeling of connection. Yet it was way more than simply connection that I felt, rather a knowing of oneness with all beings. I have experienced that sense of oneness once in this lifetime. In the dreamscape, it was that sense amplified a thousand fold. Here I was, actually FEELING the homecoming, the joy of being welcomed, of being a part of a much larger community, of being cherished, of having been missed. It was indescribable using our limited language. It was sound and color and light.  Oh, be still my heart!

An old weathered stump with this bouquet of greenery bursting forth. That expresses my heart in this moment!

An old weathered stump with this bouquet of greenery bursting forth. That expresses my heart in this moment!

I sit here typing in the pool of light cast by a lamp with a taste of ash in my mouth. It is 2:12 a.m. and my heart is racing. Please let this mean that the time is coming to bring this love into our earth, the time to bring heaven to earth.

That is what I want to live! I want that intimacy with all beings. The feeling that I experienced in my dream was unlike anything that I have experienced on this earth plane. Even the deepest intimacy that I have known, feels like a shadow of the love that is possible for us to live.

We have been so conditioned to keep our hearts at bay. We read how we use so little of our brain’s capacity but it is our heart capacity that we have hardly begun to explore. That is the new frontier, it holds the uncharted territories that our dreams are made of.

Here is to setting my intention to be an explorer of the heart. I have lived a hermit like existence for so long. No more. I intend to follow this feeling that is burning in my chest. To not give in to the taste of the ash of disappointment in my mouth but to take this as a sign. We are getting closer to living as the gods that we are. I am Source. You are Source. All is Source.

One of my daily heart reminders that appear, this one from a bit of shell as I was cracking walnuts. We are so loved!

One of my daily heart reminders that appear, this one from a bit of shell as I was cracking walnuts. We are so loved!

Let the exploration begin! Let our hearts lead us forward to these reunions, to a way of living that is in harmony with all beings. May we each live our truth and come to know our own beauty and that of one another. May we be free to express it in every moment of our lives.

 

Summer Solstice Play

fullsizeoutput_11b0The Solstice was a wild ride. A friend came to play and celebrate the Solstice with me in this beautiful spot. We were preparing the day before and then full on into it on the Solstice. We gathered flowers that wished to be a part of the ceremony (many clamoring to be chosen) and headed to the beach. Felt into which one to chose…ended up at one with Christ in the name. One of the many clear rivers ran into the ocean there and so we had the waters streaming in from the land. We gathered rocks and driftwood and set about creating. As I placed each rock, I felt the swirling energies around me. The elementals of mist and water and air were working with us. I used rocks with sun colors of white, orange and gold. After that was laid, the dark rocks asked to be a part of it all. A line was laid that I understood later to represent the mystery, the dark matter, the deep unknown that is always present in life.

fullsizeoutput_11c7My friend, created a heart that held the divine masculine and feminine in its embrace. I love that we can trust ourselves so deeply to know what to do in each moment. It was playful and fun for us yet we had to stop and drink and eat at times in order to continue. That is the other side of  knowing more, you feel it all so intensely. I could feel the wheels turning as I laid the rocks, feel how it was creating shifts and movements in the All.

We knew we were to go to the unnamedredwoods later in the day to complete our ceremony. We came home to eat and rest first. We then headed out to the forest. We came to another gorgeous river and beach to walk and then made our way to the grove. It is advertised as the world’s most scenic stand of redwoods. You do feel as if you are in a cathedral with the soaring trees reaching above.  There is a hush that the thick layer of needles creates as it absorbs the sounds of your footfalls. We brought crystals from Mount Shasta and rocks from the beach that wanted to be transported. So many openings and crevices in the trees offered perfect places for these gems to rest.

fullsizeoutput_11c9Hearts were with us all day, heart rocks, heart shaped pieces of wood, heart openings in the trees. Everything was alive with the lovelight. As we made our way back to the car, the same thoughts popped in both our minds. We were to complete the circle and follow the route through the forest and out to the town below us. As it was the longest day of the year, we still had sunlight as we made our way out of the forest. We arrived at the ocean as the sun was preparing to set. We went and ate some fish tacos to celebrate a day well spent.

fullsizeoutput_11b6Once home, it was fully dark. We opened some champagne and celebrated the full circle of our day. It felt as if it had been a week since the morning, a full day in every sense.

It is now the third day since then, I have rested deeply, my energy completely spent. I saw how my body is permeable, open to the elements and energies flowing. It is one of my gifts, to allow the energies full reign within. The beauty flows in and out into our Mother Gaia. I am a chalice, filled and emptied over and over with the liquid love light that is my song.

I am so grateful to be in this place of beauty that fullsizeoutput_11bamy friend has so lovingly co-created with the elements. I am held in its embrace. The butterflies and birds swoop and soar, the bees are busy gathering pollen to carry back to the hives by the old barn here. The flowers raise their cups to the sun. Blueberries are beginning to find their blue hue, a hidden bunch of raspberries flashed their sweet redness, inviting me to partake of their deliciousness. All is in harmony. I realized that I know so deeply that all is well as I have come from that future. I have lived that new life that is beginning to burst its tendrils through the veil. There are wonders ahead. All that it requires is that we hold its song in our hearts and sing it with every breath. We are singing the new into being. How beautiful we all are! That was my Solstice intention, that all beings come to know their own beauty and have the freedom to shine it and sing it out to the world! Hallelujah.

IMG_1936Thank you to my friend, for the forest photos and this one of me in the mist. My phone felt the heat of the energy and shut down. It has come alive again after a day of rest. I am feeling that same aliveness begin again within myself. Off to the ocean to feel the wind and sea and let it invigorate me.

 

A Snake and Fathers on My Mind

IMG_5359I was hanging clothes on the line, barefoot as I like to be as much of the day as possible. I almost stepped on a garden snake. Oh, surprise!  I took a couple of deep breaths. I was glad that my foot just missed him and his reflexes were quick enough to slither away. Transformation, yes indeed. It is here!

I am living heaven on earth these days. My friend’s home is the garden of eden. I just ate an egg fresh from the chickens with some chard plucked from the garden, spritzed with a lemon from one of the many trees. Yum. My belly feels pretty satisfied as I am ingesting all that sunlight and cool sea air along with the food. Makes me feel a bit woozy as I contemplate it all.

IMG_5357I have put new bouquets about the house. I am in love with honeysuckle and lemon verbena and roses. Oh my! There are petals that fall and more to clean up but the joy is so full and rich from the filling of my visual and olfactory (strange word) senses. As I go to cut the flowers, they all call out, “Pick me, pick me!” I know some folks don’t believe in cutting flowers but they love to be brought in to be admired and to weave love light with me. Each one gets more attention and we all love to be seen.

IMG_5356It is Father’s Day today, and it brought with it a wave of love for my dad. He gave me the experience of dark and light from the earliest age. He was not the wonderful dad so many have the experience of, yet he was wonderful in some ways. Alcohol turned him into an unpredictable violent man. Yet there was a gentleness that could surface. On weekends when his shift work allowed, he took us out of our suburban neighborhood with a gin mill (that is what the bars where called) on the corner to the farmland where he grew up. We had woods and freedom to roam. Our neighborhood was made up of men who worked at the steel mill or the Ford Motor Company. All working shifts, heading out with their metal lunch pails that held the thermos in the top. For years, I made his lunches. I cannot imagine working 7am-3pm, 3-11pm, 11pm-7am for decades. How did his body adjust? Something that I never considered as a child but feel gratitude for now. He took us to museums, on road trips to national parks and forests with the pop up camper. We vacationed every year on a lake in Canada. We rented a cottage and we six kids all preceded to get burnt to a crisp within the first couple of days of swimming  and had to wear t-shirts over our bathing suits for the remainder of the vacation time. We would lie in bed with blisters on our backs, whimpering to one another.

Dad had a wooden boat that he shared with his brother and father that we used for outings, waterskiing for those lucky enough to fit into the skiis without your feet slipping out, fishing for those who had the patience to sit out there with our dad, or trips through the locks that allowed passage to other bodies of water where we went grocery shopping.

Morning mist flowing down the hill.

Morning mist flowing down the hill.

He picked mushrooms and cow slips (a spring green), and buckets of blackberries in the wild. He grew a big garden and composted scraps. He hunted for deer, rabbits, and pheasants that all were part of our diet and helped the budget. He turned off lights whenever they were not needed, frugality was a part of his nature. All things that inform my way of living.

I did not speak directly to him for most of my childhood, was surprised if he called me by name. He was the male who went to work, took us places, read the newspaper, imposed the quiet if he needed to sleep. Children and adults did not interact to much of a degree in our household. Yet he provided for us in all the physical ways. No mean feat with six kids.

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We are all part of this circle of life. Our fathers flow in our blood as do our children.

The sun is shining and calling me outdoors. I am grateful for all the ways the divine masculine has grown. I look at my former hubby, now dear friend, my sons, their friends and feel the deepening and shifting that has occurred. They are present with their feelings, comfortable with their nurturing sides, open and exploring new ways of being a man, a father. We have come a long way. I am grateful to the generation before who lived such closed off lives in order to fufill a role given them as to what it was to be a man. How wonderful that my grandson will know and live a different way of being. We are evolving!

Solstice Energies Seeping In

I am up on the California coast, a few miles from the Oregon border. I am in a lovely old farmhouse of dear friends who are traveling cross country. We are all in our perfect places to anchor and receive these intense lovelight energies. A week ago, I was in Mount Shasta for the full moon. It was interesting to feel how the energy in the town is shifting.There are many closed businesses, people moving in and out. I sensed a more grounded community forming. It felt clearer than I have experienced it previously. This shifting is happening on a planetary scale as we are all moving into alignment with our souls and our mother earth.

Once I made the drive up to Oregon and then back down the windy path through the redwoods to this part of California, I was wiped out. I could have stopped at Trader Joe’s in Medford or a big supermarket in Grant’s Pass but it felt impossible. Of late, all the multitasking IMG_5294abilities have gone. I can only do one thing even when it means I will have to make another trip at a later date. The energy moves with clarity for the one purpose, all else must take a back seat until their time comes up. Simplicity is paramount at this time. I was so grateful to arrive and as my hunger set in, to find a container of homemade soup with my name on it in the freezer. Thank you, dear friend! I felt awash in love and care.

IMG_5317I had that crown tingling energy transmit the week before that I was in need of deep rest and was to have no visitors or schedule the first week. My body has sunk into this. I have not stirred too far afield. I ventured into Brookings, Oregon, the nearest town, to stock up on groceries. Once that was done, I settled into lying on a chaise in the yard, watching the clouds and birds fly by. My daily routines are very light, I spread feed for the chickens, gather the eggs, if there are any. Most days there are two warm eggs that feel so alive in my palms. It has been a treat to eat their sunny yellow- orange yolks and white whites. I check on the sheep, that they have water. I have weeded a bit in the yard and garden and the sheep delight in eating the greenery I toss them. Lovely system where they just gobble up what I do not desire. I love when things work that cleanly and well.

fullsizeoutput_1190The first day or two I used the heater as it was damp and chill and I did not have the energy to make a fire in the hearth. Now I have been making one regularly in the evenings and it warms my heart as well as my body. Thank you to my friends for all the wood stacked on the front porch! Dishes piled up for a couple of days as a spurt of energy would find me cooking a chicken for soup, making chocolate chip cookies so as to eat the dough. I found myself laughing that I was eating raw. Raw cookie dough, that is!  I love it, has been a comfort food since I was a child. I baked a tray and ate all the cookies in one night. Baked potatoes, grilled cheese onnaan bread, toast….I seemed to need to eat every couple of hours. My body was seeking comfort and warmth so I allowed her it. Sometimes veggies look so inviting, other times, the freshness is too much for my system.

The old barn reminds me of my grandparents and my time there.

The old barn reminds me of my grandparents and my time there.

Various aches and pains showed up and then pretty quickly disappeared. Hip ache, pain in a tooth, shoulder ache….different parts of my body releasing old memories. I blessed it all and allowed it movement. My legs felt heavy, my belly bloated, body dense. I was in slow motion in my thoughts and being. Naps took me so deep I struggled to surface and figure out where I was, who I was. I binge watched a netflix series which saw me awake till 2 am one night. Finally, I skipped ahead and watched the last of the series just to get it over with. To free myself from that addictive hook. Of course, over the next days I went back and filled in with the shows that I skipped! How would we have ever gotten through this ascension cycle without books and netflix’s? I am grateful for all of it.

Yesterday it changed. I felt light, vibrant, excited. I craved salads, especially inviting with borage and calendula blossoms. I went to the thrift stores in town and bought a few items that make me feel attractive as they are so comfortable. I felt comfort in my skin once again. I found a few picture books to read over FaceTime to my grandson. It has become a lovely routine for us most days.

 

IMG_5334I have walked the beaches, collecting rocks. My how I love rocks! There is a treasure trove of beautiful ones here. I have a dozen heart rocks, some thin stacking rocks, ones of various shapes and hues. I am taking them back to the family home so our grandson will have them to play with when he comes later in the summer. So much more fun to categorize into shapes and colors and form than plastic toys.

I sense an opening, a lightening for all of us as this Solstice gateway opens on the twentieth of June. I know I am already assisting in holding this gate wide so that all will benefit from the streaming energies from a multitude of galaxies. Twenty-two, in fact! I love that master number. It is the day of my birth and of both my parents. It holds the key to much of this embodiment for me.

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One of my new vases showering violet delight about.

The redwoods await me….there is an ancient grove just down the road with crystal clear rivers running through. They surround me here on the property as my friend planted 300 trees when she first moved here as a young mother. They stand guardian and offer connection to all their brethren in the forests nearby. I am preparing for my time with them. Everything has a timing. I feel the privilege of my life that I have created the space to allow myself to flow with that divine timing. When we move with it, things take so much less energy. One moment, the kitchen gets cleaned that felt impossible moments before. It is trusting that all will get done in perfect order when we allow our hearts to lead, rather than our minds.

Snake Energy Showing Up

Here is our snake.

Here is our snake.

Yesterday the energies felt erratic and off to me. I could not find a balance point. There was a low grade discord, anxious energy running throughout my being. It manifested in strange ways. My youngest son is home for a few days so we decided to have his cousins and aunt and uncle over for dinner. I found I had to write down what I planned for the meal as it would not stay in my head long enough to begin the prep for it. It took a few attempts to get a shopping list together. Nothing seemed to flow.

Rainbow cloud from my walk.

Rainbow cloud from my walk.

I was cleaning and clearing up the living room when I noticed a black thing up high near the ceiling, above the built in bookcase. I was mystified as I had recently dusted all the cobwebs that gather in the rafters. I stood on a chair to get a closer look and a snake stared back at me! I was shocked. His head was poking out of a gap in a board that ran just under the ceiling rafters. Yikes! Transformation came a calling in a big way. Right into the house! We debated how we would get him back outside. We sure did not want him to get loose and slither about the house. Later, our son came in and helped me ponder what to do. I then called on the angels of reptiles to assist him to find his way back outside. As my son and I were preparing a net to catch him, he suddenly slipped from view and exited out the hole he had entered from. A big sigh of relief from us all!

Gathering my kale and beet greens for breakfast.

Gathering my kale and beet greens for breakfast.

Later I was watering the garden and was throwing the hose about trying to get it to line up for the next garden bed when I squeezed the noozle, not realizing that in the twisting, the nozzle had shifted in my hand. I blasted water into my right eye. Ouch! It was like a power wash, very uncomfortable. Fortunately, other than soreness, my eye is fine. I asked for it to result in expanded sight.

I bruised my foot in the garden and then nicked my finger as I was working on the irrigation system. Truly a day when my physical body was out of sync with the energies flowing in. I felt off kilter all day, as if I was a few degrees removed from this reality, my energy flowing back and forth in an erratic pattern. A day to not be doing as I was. Yet, it all served somehow, I took note and breathed in the joy of well being that was also running through me.

My son was preparing the potatoes when I noticed the heart shining.

My son was preparing the potatoes when I noticed the heart shining.

Our families were celebrating the fact that a new cousin had been pronounced fine after an anxious week of uncertainty as to his mental and physical well being due to a difficult birth. He is a wise, strong soul with many gifts to offer. A blessing as these new lights land in and inform us all. We appreciated the little baby who was with us this day and felt our love for all the cousins so recently added to our family. A tribe of lovely beings that are so full of joy.

Today feels calmer, more settled. Some fatigue from all the heightened energies of yesterday but the day offers nap time and quietness. I am sensing so strongly the new. It is flowing in on quiet feet, stealthily almost but with a steady force. The snake came to show us that things are about to get physical. This change will show up in our homes, in our bodies, right where we live. My, we are ready for this!!

 

 

 

Renewal

Yellow tulip by GabeRobertsart.com

Yellow tulip by GabeRobertsart.com

My youngest son made me this gorgeous card for Mother’s Day. It was a celebration of the one tulip that blossomed from a clump that his lovely wife had transplanted from her mom’s house to theirs. They cut it and brought it inside to enjoy.

 
He writes: “It strikes me that anybody who can truly appreciate the beauty of a tulip bending and stretching upward for days, all alone on a kitchen table, has got to be a good person and do good things for our world. It’s so very simple! There’s nothing more true nor more important than beauty-the simple beauty of a flower. And every spring, Mother Earth throws them upwards at us in great number and wild colors and in the darkest and densest of places. “
This rock with its sunburst of white!

This rock with its sunburst of white!

Beauty…it fills my days as the birds sing me awake, the flowers offer their scents and forms, my son’s paintings surround me. A wool runner for the table discovered at a thrift store highlights the sheen of the wood table,  a new skirt makes me smile as it swirls about my legs, the sounds my grandson makes over the airwaves as I watch him play 3000 miles away brings laughter.  All fills my heart as my soul enters in more fully. My personality self has felt worn, fatigued, disinterested, complete with this earthly sojourn. Yet now our souls and  divinity are anchoring within our forms and discovering the pleasures of this realm anew.

I awoke yesterday with a sense of being reborn. I felt so good in my body, still do. Amazing energy running through me that has every cell singing a love song! Oh my, this is the youthing I have desired. This feeling of well being. This joy filled note that sings everything into harmony. My body feels alive in a brand new way. I feel my divinity through my toes, so excited to be walking on the earth. There is a sensualness that has been absent for decades, now a stream running clear and bright within. My outer form may not reflect it as yet….though I sense that it will soon. No matter the form, what we desire is this feeling of aliveness! This openness to life’s pleasures. The gray hair, the wrinkles, the body shape and size, none of that matters. It is the feeling of delight, of wanting to take big bites out of life. Experiencing ice cream’s creaminess on my tongue, the bitter heady scent of coffee in the morning, the juice of a peach coursing down my chin and arm, the earth encrusted fingernails from a morning gardening. My inner being is doing cartwheels and handstands while I smile at her delight.
The new has landed in. It will get more and more physical, show up in ways we have not imagined. The love pods are beginning to vibrate their threads of connection that will weave the communities together into form. I am knowing to show up and connect with those whom my heart calls in. Sharing our love and codes of light so as to weave new patterns of beauty and love light.
The borage offering its brilliant blue flowers for my salads.

The borage offering its brilliant blue flowers for my salads.

We have made it through the dark night, the tunnel that seemed never ending. Yet we are still standing, still in these dear bodies that have served us so well. I am so grateful for and to us all. Today is Memorial Day here in the USA. May it be the last one where there are any men or women engaged in the horrors of war. May all that was, fade away. May life be celebrated as freedom comes to all people. It starts within me, and within you. May a peace filled world emerge where all may drink of beauty each day.

Pinging

Butterflies were mating all around me on my walk.

Butterflies were mating all around me on my walk.

These days, these wild and wonderful days. Yesterday I sweated as I worked in the garden in 90 degree heat. This morning the wind is whipping all into a frenzy, stirring up my allergies and the temperature has dropped about 30 degrees. Up and down and all around, this mirrors my emotional state. We swing high, we swing low. Pinging, I have felt like a ball in one of the old fashioned pinball machines.

Yet, there is a difference. Recently, the question of where I would be living arose once again. It is amazing to think that it has been a decade of me having no set place to call home. So, this question is not new territory, by any means.  Our minds bring up the questions, over and over until we can laugh at them and allow them to fade away. This one had not been on my radar for quite some time. Immediately it sent me into a space of vulnerability. I pointed and pinned my feelings on the one asking the question as to where I would be moving to next. He is the one currently, generously, offering me space, once again. As I sat with the feeling of vulnerability, I watched it move. I saw it attempt to anchor within me. There was no longer an anchor. There remained only the echo of that past feeling. Interesting! I was left with a feeling of gratitude to the dear heart who pinged my heart to show me how I have grown. I am safe within myself, I am home, always in my heart.

I backed into a mailbox on a rainy, foggy morning. This appeared in the dent to make me smile.

I backed into a mailbox on a rainy, foggy morning. This appeared in the dent to make me smile.

We are masters in form. Moment by moment, we are claiming more of our divinity. I sense more of me within my body. I am feeling stronger, more centered, more delighted with myself. I find myself singing love songs to me! I look in the mirror and giggle at the loveliness that is reflected back, whether I see my twelve year old self or ninety year old self reflected, I am beautiful. I am liking this! The pinging is so quick. We are able to come back to our truth in a blink and know ourselves as creator beings in form.

We are feeling the movement to the new world. This can bring the tears, the longing for community, for the love, for that frequency that we came here to anchor. As it gets closer to manifesting, there is a corresponding anguish in not living it as yet. I take my longing and the tears it brings at times, as a sign of how close we are to co-creating this new reality for ourselves. The love pods, so longed for in my heart. The vision that I have tended within the flame of my heart, so tenderly and steadily these many years. All is about to blossom. All is to come to fruition.

One bed mulched and one awaiting my attention.

One bed mulched and one awaiting my attention.

I have been working in the garden of our family’s home. I have been battling nut grass, a weed that reproduces from nuts underground. It is tenacious and tough. As with everything, our intent creates. Nutgrass has become my spiritual work. With each nut unearthed and pulled from the garden, I am unearthing and removing all on this planet that works against love. I can work down a whole garden bed, turn around and see new ones sprouting, where none were. It is that quick and cunning. I laugh at it and tell it, “You cannot win. I am here. I will show up and remove you, day after day. I am not going anywhere. I am here, standing in my love (or rather squatting as I pull these weeds). I will prevail!”

Bucket of nut grass awaiting disposal.

Bucket of nut grass awaiting disposal.

We are prevailing as we allow love to flood our hearts. As we see beyond the outer expressions of fear and anxiety and poor behavior to the truth of love beneath. I feel such tenderness towards us all. What dear brave beings we are, to have come from our starry homes to light up this world. What courage and stamina it has taken. I bow to us all.

We are feeling our strength returning. I have had years of little outer movement as I followed the inner path of my heart. This year, I have been active in the world. I am showing up! For years, I could make no plans. I was not dependable as I chose to be ever ready to follow my inner work. I never knew when I would be called into the inner planes to work, only knowing that it was my highest calling and I would respond.

New growth on the old decay. I feel this way in my body.

New growth on the old decay. I feel this way in my body.

Now, I am more fully present on this plane. I am grounded in a new way, literally working in the ground each day. I am showing up, meeting schedules and folks. It is a good feeling to be able to be present with others more fully. There are still times where I am called under and need to allow my body to rest while I journey on other planes. Yet now I am able to still maintain a presence here, more often than not. It feels liberating. We are being called back into the world so that these new frequencies can land in and anchor for all to access.

We shall tell stories of these days, as we traversed one age to birthing another. We will feel the privilege of being one of the folks here on earth at this pivotal time. I am savoring it all. My heart is on fire with the freedom flame that is alight. May it touch each of our hearts, allowing them to burst into bloom. The beauty, oh, the beauty of each one!