Yesterday was full of energy for me, not all if it pleasant. It started the day before with an issue being brought to me attention that triggered a number of old issues. My mother bear protective energy was engaged, my truth detector was on high alert, a sense of violation arose at another using the story of others’ pain in a way that enlarged their own story. I was triggered! I dreamt of it during the night, my consciousness seeking to bring me some clues or resolution during the night. The very interesting thing was that the other involved, dreamt of it too. One of us dreamt of it in terms of distress and the other of tenderness. I so love how different we all are in the ways we process information and emotions. Spirit was intent on giving me a lesson in honoring each one’s perspective as one is not more “right” than another. Rather, we each have a unique lens through which we view our reality which creates our experience here.
My mind began playing a loop of injustice, working itself into a righteous (isn’t it all presented as that?) anger. I decided to take myself out for a walk/run and see if I could shake it loose. Instead it kept pace with me, repeating its litany of complaints, with each step. I came back to write and rewrite an email a few times before hitting the send button, knowing I should wait a day before doing so but that insistent shrill voice said, “Send!”
I was swallowed in a vortex of inharmonious energy, not finding anything to hold onto to get myself out. A friend came to pick me up for an event and I spilled it out to her. She said, “It is coming up for release,” and with those words, I was suddenly free. It is amazing how we forget all of our tools at times and simply fall down that rabbit hole! I saw how these were old issues that had surfaced to be let go of once again. They had not been in my world for years and yet here they were, bright as day, wanting to be loved and released. I was flooded with love and compassion for all of us involved. I detached myself from the old energy of trying to control how anyone else chose to walk their path. I surrendered my out dated notion of protecting anyone from anything. These were old energies that I had not worn in recent times so it was surprising to find myself wearing them! Off they came with a sigh of relief.
This morning it has come full circle as my dreams offered me a view of ourselves as toddlers. We get up on our chubby legs and take our steps only to fall down, over and over again. We learn nothing if scolded for falling down. We are grateful for the helping hand or the smile that greets us, saying, “Oh, you fell down!” in a singsong, loving voice. I am that voice for myself today and for the other in this story. I intend to remember this when presented with a situation that triggers me. To see myself and the other as an adorable toddler who just took a spill. Oh. the tenderness of our hearts, the fortitude of our spirits, and the immense capacity of our souls to move forward, ever growing in our truth.
I am feeling such gratitude for this experience and reminder to cherish myself and each other. I cherish you.