Falling Down the Rabbit’s Hole

This cloud looked like the vortex I had been swirling in.

This cloud looked like the vortex I had been swirling in.

Yesterday was full of energy for me, not all if it pleasant. It started the day before with an issue being brought to me attention that triggered a number of old issues. My mother bear protective energy was engaged, my truth detector was on high alert, a sense of violation arose at another using the story of others’ pain in a way that enlarged their own story. I was triggered! I dreamt of it during the night, my consciousness seeking to bring me some clues or resolution during the night. The very interesting thing was that the other involved, dreamt of it too. One of us dreamt of it in terms of distress and the other of tenderness. I so love how different we all are in the ways we process information and emotions. Spirit was intent on giving me a lesson in honoring each one’s perspective as one is not more “right” than another. ¬†Rather, we each have a unique lens through which we view our reality which creates our experience here.

My mind began playing a loop of injustice, working itself into a righteous (isn’t it all presented as that?) anger. I decided to take myself out for a walk/run and see if I could shake it loose. Instead it kept pace with me, repeating its litany of complaints, with each step. I came back to write and rewrite an email a few times before hitting the send button, knowing I should wait a day before doing so but that insistent shrill voice said, “Send!”

I was swallowed in a vortex of inharmonious energy, not finding anything to hold onto to get myself out. A friend came to pick me up for an event and I spilled it out to her. She said, “It is coming up for release,” and with those words, I was suddenly free. It is amazing how we forget all of our tools at times and simply fall down that rabbit hole! I saw how these were old issues that had surfaced to be let go of once again. They had not been in my world for years and yet here they were, bright as day, wanting to be loved and released. I was flooded with love and compassion for all of us involved. I detached myself from the old energy of trying to control how anyone else chose to walk their path. I surrendered my out dated notion of protecting anyone from anything. These were old energies that I had not worn in recent times so it was surprising to find myself wearing them! Off they came with a sigh of relief.

The sky doing its dance of joy, echoing mine when I moved through this latest trigger.

The sky doing its dance of joy, echoing mine when I moved through this latest trigger.

This morning it has come full circle as my dreams offered me a view of ourselves as¬†toddlers. We get up on our chubby legs and take our steps only to fall down, over and over again. We learn nothing if scolded for falling down. We are grateful for the helping hand or the smile that greets us, saying, “Oh, you fell down!” in a singsong, loving voice. I am that voice for myself today and for the other in this story. I intend to remember this when presented with a situation that triggers me. To see myself and the other as an adorable toddler who just took a spill. Oh. the tenderness of our hearts, the fortitude of our spirits, and the immense capacity of our souls to move forward, ever growing in our truth.

I am feeling such gratitude for this experience and reminder to cherish myself and each other. I cherish you.

6 thoughts on “Falling Down the Rabbit’s Hole

  1. Cherish is a beautiful words I itself. From time to time the Rabbit hole appears. Thank Heavens we have gentle reminders to release. You are my reminder, thank you Sweet Sister!

  2. Soooo incredibly powerful…..

    I really identify with all of this, especially in the last few months…..

    I love you and cherish your essence fully Linda!

    Many Blessings,

    Saralise

    • Dear Saralise,
      Thank you. So nice to see you here! Our essence is what is really coming online now. So beautiful to feel and see shining in one another.
      Blessings of love and purply-aqua heart ribbons of light flowing to you sister,
      Linda

  3. Isn’t it amazing that we read a message in Perfect Timing? I don’t know how I missed this one of yours, Linda, yet I did. I fell down the Rabbit’s Hole just this night, balling my eyes out, feeling berated, unimportant, and how when looking at my life from the world’s eyes, it is barely a blip on the radar scale. The sacrifices that have been involved in a life of service and humility, doing my “work” quietly and unseen behind the scenes, there are not enough numbers to count that high. I wept for me, for the incredible acts of selfless service that have gone unappreciated or unnoticed, for the hard work that have stiffened and inflamed my hands, and for the countless of extreme Life Experiences that have left me gasping at death’s door…..all these and more, I wept and as I did, I just put my head down saying I will not, can not do this life any more as is. No one to comfort me, no one to put a loving arm around me to hold me, no one to hear my torment, my heart’s aches and moans, no one but God. I hit the bottom of this rabbit hole, and I have vowed to Me that never again shall I make the same decisions I made this life, never again will I put myself in a position of doing for others to the extent I have this life, never again will I put someone’s elses needs’ before mine own. I’m done. Absolutely finally done. Coming from an existence that told me I am a nobody is no longer my reality. I stand here now, saying to all who read this, that I AM a somebody, and a pretty terrific somebody at that! I am not looking back, but looking ahead to embrace all that is my Divine Birthright to have. I AM DONE.

    • Dear Amy,
      You are expressing the feelings of so many….done, done, done. It is time for us to care for self above all, knowing that allows us to be of greater service in the world. You are an amazing being, know this to your core. Espavo! (thank you for taking your power)
      with love,
      Linda

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