Water and sky.....what a world!
KIndness is a quality that most will agree is a good one. As with most values and beliefs that I have held, I find that we were fed a false or limited version of the truth. We like concepts like kindness as it has a warm and fuzzy feel. I like warm and fuzzy yet not at the expense of truth. I am discovering that it is the energy behind the concept that makes all the difference. Much of the time, surface kindness masks resentment. I know that was true for me in the past. I acted in ways to “be kind” yet in doing so, neglected my own needs. Over time, that led to resentment as my ego cried out for acknowledgment. I sacrificed my own comfort levels to take the “higher road” of kindness. We were taught that this was the path of being a “good person”. Give more than receive. Always offer a helping hand. So many platitudes which hold value if seen in a new light whereby I make myself part of the equation. I reject the notion of putting myself last. I have come to the the knowing that my needs are to be met first and foremost. Only when my cup is full, do I have something to offer to others.
It can be a mark of kindness to set a boundary with another. To claim our space. If I hold my space as sacred, I have the right and even the duty to myself, to maintain a boundary as to who I allow to enter in. I might meet someone in a public space and spend time together yet not feel that their energy is one that I would chose in my sacred space. I can set a boundary on how much time I can give in conversation, in interaction with another as my soul has claim on expanses of my time for stillness and contemplation. When I honor the needs of my soul, I can be fully present with others when I choose to engage.
Filing my cup with kindness by gifting myself a visit to this beautiful land to play with my beautiful daughter.
Kindness then can appear as something else to another if they feel that their needs are not being met by me. I have come to know that if I am following the path of my highest good in any situation, then it cannot harm another. I may disappoint another, annoy another but that may be the kindest thing of all. We are taught that it is better to make everyone comfortable even if it comes at our own expense. Kindness is not always comfortable. I have to be willing to speak my truth and receive unpleasant reaction energy. That may be the true kindness that I can show another. It is not easy nor comfortable and it may take deep breathing at times. On the small scale, I am one who will tell you if you have something caught between your teeth or a zipper unzipped……on a larger scale I may point our that one is being manipulative in their use of energy and I do not appreciate it. Not comfortable to speak of yet it is this type of kindness that I am most grateful for when others have dared speak it to me.
We are all teachers for one another. If you come to me and ask for something that does not feel right for me to give (my old self would have given but felt uncomfortable or unhappy) you may react when I say no. Yet that no is a yes to myself and it alerts you to a place in you that may desire to be looked at. And the same is true for myself when another sets a limit on a way that I am interacting. I am seeing so clearly how we trigger one another and act in ways to release any lingering unconscious patterns that we may hold. That is an act of kindness. To speak truth without regard to the reaction that it elicits. I temper it with, this is my truth as I see it, for each one’s truth is their own. Mine changes frequently as I evolve on this path. It is not easy to discern our highest truth at times as our old patterns pull us back into unconscious ways of relating and moving in this world. This is especially true with family members where there we have worn such deep grooves in our brains of old ways of relating. I was cast as the “good daughter” by my family of origin and when I outgrew the role, I outgrew my family as they could not accept me relinquishing the role. My younger sister called me in despair, saying, “Oh no, now they have made me the good daughter! Help!” These relations call us to be fully present and conscious in our reactions, acting authentically as we feel our truth rather than allowing the old role to play us unconsciously.
I am seeing that when someone’s actions trigger a reaction in me, they have gifted me as I am now alerted to an area that wants attention. If I feel judgmental, what part of me is needing love? If I feel angry, what part of me feels violated? I can look to myself for cause as well as resolution. Almost all of it comes down to lack of love. With this expanded viewpoint of anything that causes me to move from peace, I can see the kindness of those souls who are bringing me the opportunity to move more fully into peace. In truth, our enemies (isn’t that word strange? the concept feels so foreign) are our greatest teachers as they help us see where we still have work to do to be free. Inner peace is freedom like no other.
Soaring free as I care for myself allowing me to send my energies across the seas.
I love discovering these patterns with folks in my life. One dear to me on the soul level has been a wonderful teacher as he feels out all the paths of unconsciousness in me and comes in on those paths to alert me where I am still unconscious. I so appreciate this in him. He illuminates the pathway until I set a boundary and close that pathway. He then seeks another until I am conscious in all aspects. This then truly frees him to be conscious as he no longer has that role to play. So my setting boundaries is an act of kindness to him and his seemingly unconscious behavior, is an act of kindness to me. I feel waves of gratitude these days for all the bearers of what appeared as hardship in my life. I send thank yous out to them for playing their roles in my life. It may have appeared as anything but kind yet all were acts of kindness on a soul level to help me awaken to my truth.
The concept of kindness expands as we do. I am ready to live in a world where kindness is expressed by all, for themselves, first and foremost. This will naturally lead to it being expressed to others. We will all be bathed in the waters of kindness. As we care for ourselves, we care for all others as we are all one. Oh, it is such a win-win universe that we live in! I am so grateful!
After some wild dancing of RAGE that had Kali alive and well in me, I was able to laugh at how perfectly this small family soul group of mine works! We made sure to include all the elements that we needed for our transformation. We held the whole spectrum of polarity between us and have played it from all sides. Beautiful! Truly awe inspiring.
Last night there was a now rare family dinner scene, four of five present. Reminiscent of a couple of decades of times around the table, allowing unconsciousness more rein. We sang the family blessing, ate our fresh corn on the cob and relaxed. Former hubby brought in an unconscious piece that triggered me. He has played this role so perfectly for us all and it will be interesting to see what happens now as it feels it was a final clearing for me, so that part will no longer be played. Dinner ended and he went on his way while the anger simmered and stirred within me. I felt the energies grow and expand as that mother bear arose on her hind feet. Kali came to life within me.
from wikopedia: Kali, also known as Kalika is a Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. Despite her negative connotations, she is not actually the goddess of death, but rather of Time and Change. She is also revered as Bhavatarini (lit. “redeemer of the universe”). Comparatively recent devotional movements largely conceive Kali as a benevolent mother-goddess.
Actually, I love this image of Kali as the rage felt full of death and destruction. I know this rage, it has coursed through my veins many times in this life. Yet, as with all things, we experience them anew with our new understandings. I am clearing collective energies. The other night it was the decree to the universe that I would no longer accept this 3D life, demanded that I be allowed to bring heaven here or return to Source. This was the follow up energy, as I could see all the grace that had been offered each one of us, time and time again to move into the light. How many accept and how others play with those undecided. How much of me has held wide a door. Kali came in to say, No more! Door closed. I will not give one more ounce of my energy to hold the door open for those who impede another’s path with intention, who create an air of confusion around those sitting on the fence so as to siphon off their light, who have made the choice to continue in separation from Source and are intent on taking as many others with them on their path as possible. It stops now.
No more. I asked for it all to come forward, to show its hand, to face my Kali self. And it did come pouring in and my rage consumed it like a fire. I danced and danced to wild, pounding music with lyrics of “no more, no more”. I added my voice in frequencies that had not moved through me in ages. It was hot, it was fiery and it was quick. All that this body could move from the collective, came forth to dance its death dance. I acted as a conductor to move and transmute these energies. My son acted as witness and turned the volume higher as well as found the song for me as he too, has played this role. This was a power filled clearing.
Our sun is the ultimate fire, showering us with his love each day.
I asked for and received the broader view and saw how my former hubby played this role so perfectly for me. I felt the gratitude flow like waves to his soul. I also gained the recognition that on a personal level, there was to be no more gifting of my energies his way nor to others playing this note. Boundaries are good. There is the love that flows through all and I see it so clearly as ribbons of multi-colored heartlight flowing into and amongst all hearts. I see how he and I adore one another on the soul level. I see how his personality self may now choose to make use of all that he has been given from the family or not. All perfect and no longer mine to tend.
These are the end times. The death of the old and the birth of the new. We are here to create the new world that our heart’s desire and remember from home. The wonder is that it is all so impersonal yet so dear. How each of us plays our part for our soul group to grow and expand the Creator’s experience for ourselves and one another. How quickly the energies run, allowing us to move so much in these final days. We are creating room for the new to stream in in all its glory.
I have had to own all my shadow self in order to allow Kali full rein. As we clear our own containers, we can then offer ourselves in service to the collective. The intensity can be elemental, like lightening moving through the body, yet it is familiar to this elemental woman. I am of the elements. My fiery nature has awaited this time to play. I can call this passion to move in any part of the spectrum, from the darkest depths to the lightest of airs. I used to judge myself harshly for my fiery nature, now I celebrate it in its current form. It is a fire that burns clean whereas before it left a scarred landscape in its wake. Now it consumes all so that not even ashes remain. My trigger knew nothing of my dance on a personality level, yet the souls knew all. I understand the personality is but a container for the energies to move through.
Kali is a creator god that allows the birth of the new. We have been programmed to shy away from the heat of death and destruction yet Kali must dance her dance to create anew. We are standing at the doorway of the new cycle of the ages and all that has been must come crumpling down. We cannot build the new on the old foundations. All is being taken. I rejoice in her presence and honor her energies of life. Truly it is in dying that we are reborn. Thank you Kali for allowing me to move as you last night. I am so grateful.
The soothing coolness of the waters cascading over me.
I am left marveling at the wonder of me. At the wonder of you. At the beauty and ugliness, the heights of love and depths of despair, that we are capable of. Bring out your shadows, dance them, let the flames consume them. We are being purified and the fire is our friend.
Today the waters cleared me as I swam and showered. Soothing waters to quiet the flames and bring the balance bright. Now to see what the earth and air have for me!!!