Letting Go and Allowing the Flow

A remarkable eagle sculpture visited on my recent Colorado trip. I love how it is positioned  in flight. It is time to spread our huge wings and take flight!

A remarkable eagle sculpture visited on my recent Colorado trip. I love how it is positioned in flight. It is time to spread our huge wings and take flight!

I have been traveling…..on the inner and outer planes. It has been a solitary journey, discovering a space where I felt the privilege of being granted entrance. A space, void like in its emptiness, yet pulsing the energies of the ALL. The place before sound, before form. The ALL that is. I was shown a new role, asked, would I accept it. My immediate response, “Yes”, as I bowed to the greater knowing and will of my mighty I AM presence, Sophia and my Mother/Father God.

Even in the acceptance, the fullness of my decision came pouring in.  I felt the dropping away of all that I knew as familar, and hence, the grieving along with the expansion. As a visionary, to let go of one’s visions of the future that had been mine to hold…..unsettling. All dreams of the beloved in form, of the love pods of community, of the co-creating process, the harmonizing……vaporized like smoke. Adult children who held the visions with me, the template that our soul group came to lay down, running through my heart like a rushing stream,  to be carried away by its force.   A sense that this was a solitary assignment, one of being a part of the underpinning of the Golden Age rather than an observing participant. Oh, I had thought myself made for the joy and love flame. Yet I am being offered something that was beyond any idea of joy or sorrow, beyond emotions, beyond duality concepts, beyond any aspect of past or dreamt future. All that was clear was that it is only in letting ALL go, that the newness can flow into form. To hold any idea of it, is to block the flow. This was a startling revelation.

The clouds played with me on my road trip, so many hearts given and appreciated.

The clouds played with me on my road trip, so many hearts given and appreciated.

Emptied in each cell, all opened and bled dry. To sit in the emptiness and breathe. There remained only the pulse. My job, to allow the entrainment. To allow it to infill me, to allow its movement within the all of me. It has been over a week in this linear time, an age in soul growth time. My body, mimicking the birth process so completely, contractions on and off for days, nausea, the inability to tolerate anyone in my field as all of my attention focused on the successful birth of this new life. The need to be sheltered, protected from discordant energies, the need for beauty and peace, the nesting activity to prepare for the birth. Stating my needs clearly and having them honored, though not being attached if they were not. Knowing the birthing would happen and that all that was necessary would appear. Trusting, trusting with each breath.  The full moon amplifying this movement, bringing it to a crescendo. Thunder and lightening at the midnight hour, quick burst as the clouds released their load and my body birthed this pulse. Rivulets of sweat soaked my sheets as my breath came in a new way. I greeted this newness with all the tenderness of my mothering heart. Oh, you are here! Hosanna in the highest!

I have shifted an octave, stepped onto a new firmament and this morning, am able to feel the joy of it pulsing through my veins. I know nothing, I AM everything.

The misty mountains that offer their moisture to quench my thirst for beauty.

The misty mountains that offer their moisture to quench my thirst for beauty.

What I know from this space is that we are being called to let go. Let go of expectations that limit what we can experience, let go of all labels of self. Think of buying a new outfit and coming home to cut off the labels before wearing it. We must remove all the labels before we can wear our newness. Stand at the mirror before getting dressed this morning and become aware of what labels you are putting on. I am fat, I am a sharp dresser, I am a businessman, I am achy, I am an extrovert, I am intelligent, I am failing as a mother, I am depressed, I am tired, I am useless at dealing with money, I am weak in my upper arms, I am an addictive personality…….the list is endless. We have been conditioned to label ourselves from the time of our birth…..he is the shy one, she is just a pretty face, he is clumsy……on and on it goes. it is time to stand in the knowing: I AM that I AM. No qualifiers, no filters, no acceptance of others’ projections, no stories. Moving beyond the human story we have lived for lifetimes. Evolving into the divinity that we are.

The whales come to play on my drive.

The whales come to play on my drive.

My wings were given to me, taking my breath away as their color and form enfolded me. I was knocked off balance as I realized the stature required to carry them aloft. I AM committed to standing tall in this body, walking with the awareness of what flows from me, knowing myself as this blinding pink gold light. This beauty is only a fraction of who I AM, of who you are. We are beauty beyond our deepest imaginings. Dress yourself in that today. Allow the faeries to put on your robes, to bring your rods of power, to place the crown. Unfurl your wings and be dazzled by their brilliance. We are these mighty beings of light, come to light up this world with love. Our new roles are being given to us, the script the greatest love story ever told. I am so excited to play my part. It is time to own your majesty and allow it to reveal itself to you. Your part cannot  be played half as well by another. Commit to learning your lines and giving the performance of all of your lifetimes. The stage is being set, our collective “Yes!” is what allows the curtain to rise. It is show time.

I bow before your light as I own my own.

Being Blown Out of Our Comfort Zones Into the New

The wind blowing through the palms.

The wind blowing through the palms.

I awoke to howling winds and sunshine. Palm fronds crashing down, pots overturned and the restless wind, pausing and then surging about me. The new moon occurs in two days time but its energy is already making itself known….,and how! This re-birthing is serious business and none are escaping its effects. The wind is a gift, seeking to take all that we are willing to release. If ever there was a time to let go, it is now. I am so appreciative of the elementals and the way that they work with us, for our highest good. My nervous system does not like the wind but my soul is standing with arms outstretched, saying, “Cleanse me, sweep me clean, take all the dross and hear my gratitude!”

The astrology reports that I read this week pointed to this being at time of getting out of our comfort zones, a grand game of musical chairs about to commence as our chairs are pulled from under us and we must move to find a new seat. Our fears come up and part of us wants to cling to the familiar, believing it offers safety. The only safety is to be found in our hearts, resting with our Creator. All else is an illusion. We are spiritual beings, evolution is our game. We love musical chairs! We desire to move and grow. We might need to remind ourselves of this but when we feel into our hearts, we know it is true.

I sense that we have new orders burning holes in our pockets. We are feeling the tension as the signal for ripping open the envelope is about to be given. We know we will find our directions; where to go, whom to meet, what our new roles will be. I sense a quantum leap for all humanity is close at hand. It makes us restless like the wind outside, moving through the branches in waves that seem almost angry at times. We are ready, we have prepared. We have cleared, let go, faced our demons, studied and grown. Now it comes down to trust. Trusting divine timing, trusting ourselves to act when called, trusting the light to reveal the reality of love about us.

A butterfly that was taking its morning drink as i was cutting a lilac bouquet.

A butterfly that was taking its morning drink as i was cutting a lilac bouquet.

I was shown once again the beautiful weaving that takes place with everything that comes into my world. I stepped out of my comfort zone the other night to watch the Matrix movie with my son and his girlfriend. They had been suggesting it for months and each time I said, “I am not ready.” I am a Pollyanna type gal, and watching violence is not in my comfort zone. The day had arrived when I said yes. I spent about half the movie shielding my eyes under a blanket yet absorbed it. There was one scene I looked up in time to have imprinted within. Neo, the hero is being shot at by dozens of bullets. He holds out his hand and says, “NO, no more.” The bullets stop before they reach him, his command in action. He chose to no longer engage, to neutralize the energy directed at him. He had found his power.

I was on the inner planes, doing some support work for a friend who had called out for help with a negative force she felt was attacking her through one she knew. As I was enfolding her in love, strengthening her communion with that knowing, and doing the same for the one she had been engaged with, I suddenly felt the energy of Neo in that moment from the film. I saw the illusion of anything but love, the separation that it caused. I knew myself as love in every cell of my being. I knew that any force in the universe that stood opposed to this love, would be melted by the flame of love that was flowing through my heart. I knew that all that appeared dark or destructive, was seeking to be enfolded in this love. It was immensely powerful. I grew in stature and breathed flames of love, my red dragon flowing her fiery nature through me. At the same time, my breasts experienced the let down feeling of nursing as the Mother’s milk of love released in me. We are wondrous beings!

I loved this sign at the park exit, the crude graffiti with the beauty of the lupines someone dropped on top. We are being asked to go forward, our tires will be slashed on the grate if we try to back up.

I loved this sign at the park exit, the crude graffiti with the beauty of the lupines someone dropped on top. We are being asked to go forward, our tires will be slashed on the grate if we try to back up.

As this energy of expansion flows through, there is the contraction contained within. I am having to calm my body and personality self that have enjoyed the comfort of a home these past six months. They are not thrilled about traveling and figuring where to be and how to get to the next place. It was my life for over three years and my nervous system is saying, “We are a nester! What are you thinking with this moving about again?” I soothe her, say, “There there, little one, it shall be ok.” My soul feels the expansion to come as I am daily undergoing preparations in my heart to be the purest chalice that I can. I am letting go of the Linda Marie that I have come to know and love. Dropping the old robes to don the garments of light that await me. This is true for all of us. We visualize the future based on what we have known yet we are stepping into uncharted territory. We are the wayshowers, we are making this up as we go along. I breathe in and find that courage in my chest and let it roar through me. I AM here. I offer myself to this path. I AM fearless. And most of all, I AM ready. We will meet up after we cross the threshold…..that crossing is done alone, none can do it for us. Once through, the lives of our dreams await our creation.

I see you shining there, tears of joy streaming down our faces as we embrace in our new land. We will know that we have succeeded in bringing heaven to earth. I can hear the trumpets now and feel the crowns being placed on our heads. This is who we are. This is why we came. To open this portal for all to step through. What a privilege. What joy. I love you all. Espavo!

 

A Bolt of Lightning Jolts Me Awake

That bolt came like a trumpeting of AWAKE! Love is here.

That bolt came like a trumpeting of AWAKE! Love is here.

Last night, just about midnight, I was jolted awake by what felt like a bolt of lightning going through my body. Wowzer! My whole body jerked and spasmed, vibrating for a few moments in what felt like a total recalibration. I then found myself in pitch darkness, though a moment before my room had been lit by the half moon shining outside my window. Within this darkness, my ears were treated to a new pitch as they rang in the Equinox energies. The tears flowed as I opened to it all and declared my intent to walk in love, in unity, in wholeness. I surrendered to it all, stating that whatever it took to move from the old, I was ready and desirous of it all. Bring it on! My fiery self could get used to lightning!

The sky has been so magical of late.

The sky has been so magical of late.

This morning I am feeling the blessing of love. The sun is rising in an overcast sky, grays and soft blues opening to a softer, more muted light. I am so grateful for this ascension process, the way it has moved so softly through our hearts, melting all that no longer serves us, breaking down the old walls we erected to feel safe, washing out the inroads of self condemnation and unworthiness, pouring down on our judgments of others and situations until they ran into the ground, becoming the soil for the new to sprout in. We stand as if naked in a downpour, all is dissolved in our watery sight as past and future collapse and there is only this rain of forgiveness, of self, of all others, of life, of the Creator. Oh, this glorious season that we have entered in. How amazing to think that our past can become the compost to enrich our present and future! Let it all go, get your compost pile steaming by heaping it high with all the debris of your life. Oh, this is fun! Pick up your shovel and let the old emotions of not being enough go flying, scoop up all the judgmental voices in your head and toss them, clean out the corners of self pity and any feelings of injustice, bend your knees as you pick up your heavy heart of old and fling it to the top of the heap. All makes way for the new to blossom.

This tiny violet emerging from the old concrete spoke so eloquently of this moment. Nature's way of speaking surpasses any words I have. I bow to her wisdom and accept her gift of love.

This tiny violet emerging from the old concrete spoke so eloquently of this moment. Nature’s way of speaking surpasses any words I have. I bow to her wisdom and accept her gift of love.

My heart is singing with the birds, my soul dancing in de-light, my being vibrating in love. Thank you Creator for this gift of re-birthing ourselves into the light and love, once more. It is true, we have come to bring heaven to earth and it has arrived. Hallelujah!

 

 

The Gift of January’s Pause

IMG_0873Today is the last day of a very long month, the first step into the energy of 2013. It did not feel like anything I knew, though with so much focus on 2012, my mind did not look into this landscape except to see paradise. In hindsight, I am so appreciative of how uneventful the December dates appeared. The clues where there for me to see as I was guided to be with a very small group of women for 12-12-12 and alone for 12-21-12.  I had thought to be at a large gathering with hordes of others for both dates, celebrating with fireworks and fanfare. Instead, it was an inward event, the joy subdued and subtle but palpable.

I am only now beginning to glean the riches held in the pause of January. The days rolled by in a dreamy fog, melting into one another as I experienced so many physical symptoms that took me down dark, scary holes. I heard that the end of suffering is here, suffering on any level of our being. My body spasmed with acute pain as I was offered the opportunity to walk it all back to love. To feel the illusion collapsing, to hold that knowing in my being alongside the reality that I was experiencing.  Caring for my body, took all my energy as I played with this newly intense sunlight; filling, releasing, and sending its rays streaming across the earth. Creative bubbles floated tantalizing close. As I reached out with my mind to pull them in, their iridescent radiance popped. I lay back down with sticky soap film on my face. My crown chakra tingled and danced with energy that evaporated as a sigh as soon as I opened to it. Everything felt elusive, just out of reach.

I am feeling the harvest of all the disappointment energy that December reaped. All of that was able to be lifted off the planet in one fell swoop. Oh, the angels were glad! We were then left with only trust to keep us warm as it seemed that the dreams of magic were not to be. Each day, my breath, a bellows to fan the flames higher as my body lay integrating the new. I saw myself with an IV drip of my divinity, which I had so boldly claimed, moving into me, drip by drip. I had thought myself ready to swallow it whole but my soul played its parental card and said, “No, too much too fast will leave you scorched.” I begged to differ and asked for a mugful. The response: drip, drip, drip. I jumped up to dance , to move, my mind proclaiming its sovereignty. I have not experienced but have watched folks shuffling down hospital corridors with their IV poles, seems no dancing allowed. As I was rendered once again prone and exhausted, the drip continued its slow, but ceaseless motion. Oh, the wisdom of these bodies! The wisdom of our higher selves, always showing us the short cut home.

Weary angel wondering why, reflecting my mind's energy.

Weary angel wondering why?

I have needed this time to acclimate to the new energies before I can move to play in them. I have had to bank the fires of my trust so that it is a constant flame that warms every moment, every impulse of my heart.  I can hear the roar of the fire of trust that is now blazing in my breast: I am loved, I am cared for, all is well. My mind had to go through its remaining fear programming: “You are not doing anything and it is 2013, get up!! How can you expect to co-create the new world flat on your back?” I had to face hissing, snarling FEAR in my dream space, trusting to the love of my heart to be my sword. I have felt the strength of that love as all melted at its touch, like the wicked witch of the west, dissolving in the mists. Fear is an illusion that has held us captive for so long. We are adults now, we can pull back the curtain and discover that it was only the old man, Oz, who was behind it all.

We have been through a tempering process as the flames of our experiences have begun  to transform us into molten gold. The liquidlovelight of my dreams, at last, pouring in.  We have been asked to grow up, to shoulder our responsibility to self. to get clear about what we want. Our thoughts are so rapidly becoming things that we have to be conscious of those thoughts. We have to know that all that is needed is inside of each of us, no outside sources trumping our own heart wisdom. We have had to walk old issues and relationships, down the road to love, releasing them to their higher self, trusting that they are perfectly cared for, as are we. I am learning to let go of judging the path of another and trusting that what presents itself, is that soul’s manifestation of experience that is their fast track home. Surrendering our playing God for another as well as dictating to God what tune to play in our heart, undoes the programming.  Allowing God to breathe the notes of our soul’s song into the flute of our hearts is walking our way to home.

My youngest son had a bout of the flu as did so many. After resistance, anger, and a bit of berating himself, he surrendered to it. Afterwards he said that he was grateful for the time it allowed him to think and dream. He was given a new vision of how to walk in his life. He saw all of his desires, the goodness meant for him, sitting ahead in the stream. He had been pushing to get to it, trying so hard in each endeavor, wanting to do it perfectly.  He realized that he was only asked to surrender and float down the stream. He would be brought to it in perfect timing and without fail as the water always flowed downstream. In his trusting in the abundance of the Creator’s love, all abundance flows in. Our minds can say, that is not how it works in the “real” world but it begins with my heart trusting, then yours, until all hearts know that we are the beloveds of our Mother/Father and their hearts’ desire is to give us, ours. Our streams converge and we will find ourselves playing together in the ocean of love.

This is the gift of January for all of us spiritual bungee jumpers (someone once called me that). Do we truly know that God loves us and cares for us on every level? Have we surrendered fully to the flow and placed our trust in divine timing? Do we have to spell out the particulars of what our Christmas list looks like or do we know that the Creator hears the feeling tone that we put out and answers in kind. Can we let go of our expectation of the hows, whens, whys of it all and trust what shows up, knowing it to be the perfect nourishment for our day?. Can we know ourselves good enough, worthy to receive this love? Can we drop in and allow our hearts to lead us, trusting the pause time to be as valuable as the times of action? Trusting that we are always in our perfect place at the perfect time. That we are not missing anything if we follow the clues of our heart.

IMGP4415I feel the winds of February bringing the scent of spring, of flowering anew, of expansion and rapid growth. My IV is still dripping with the essence of my divinity and I trust that the process will be complete when I hear the call to make a move. In this knowing, I am trusting each one of you to heed that call and trust the path where you are led, whether it be to sleep or create or dream in this moment. Open to it fully, licking the last bit of sweetness from each moment before letting it pass. Each moment fully embraced frees us to be present for the next….and the next, each experienced as the perfection of the now. I love you so.

 

Ascension Symptoms Update, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better

Oh joy, I can feel the light!

Oh joy, I can feel the light!

Whew, this morning I awoke to joy. Yes, JOY after hitting a wall that left me desiring only to be done with this reality. I am hearing from so many who are in this place of great despair. Hold on! I would like to throw out a life line to each one of you. It is darkest before the dawn……we have all heard that but are now truly living it. We have done so much internal work, cleared out the debris, emotionally from our hearts and mentally from our minds. We have identified limiting beliefs and chucked them overboard. We have forgiven and ho’oponoponoed till the cows come home. We have let go of everything over and over, people, possessions, titles, roles and homes. We have been ridiculed, called the devil, acted as the wall for others to throw darkness upon. Stripped bare, we stand naked upon a lonely shore.

We have landed in some kind of teenage hell where our emotions are in overdrive, bliss one moment to be followed by long stretches of nothingness dipping into utter despair. We sweat all night, waking up reeking. My God, I smell like a teenage boys’ locker room! I have to air out my bedroom and change my sweaty sheets and wash pjs. Toxic emissions are pouring out of me. I am either freezing cold or else sweat is running down my face. This is worse than the menopausal times. I cry at anything, can feel irritation from a sound, a fabric, a smell. My body is hypersensitive, trying to find some way to idle at neutral. The top of my head feels like someone spends nights dancing on it with cobbled shoes. My neck and lower back feel broken at times. Literally, as if they could not possibly come back together. My legs run highly charged electricity through to the earth in continuous streams that ache. How anyone manages to hold down a job through all of this, is beyond me. My hats are off to you and I hold you in my prayers each day. It takes all of me to do what I do as my service to this earth.

I feel and look ancient, like a crone and yet other times, I see my reflection and my eyes are so full of light they look like stars. The fatigue that will not quit and seems to have been part of my life forever, is emotionally debilitating. Doing is somewhere on a cloud, out of reach, while I lie on my back and watch it float by. Memory is a thing of the past, I cannot recall what I did an hour ago, no less last week. I can disappear into no time for hours on end. Dreamy, spacey, not here nor anywhere, simply gone. Nausea makes eating a challenge as nothing tastes good or satisfying. Everything that once brought joy, holds no charge at all. I want to spit it all out! I feel like one of my children when they were toddlers in a cranky mood. Offered different activities; “Would you like to color? NO! How about playing with clay? NO! Let’s bake cookies. I HATE cookies!’ (when of course, up until this moment you loved cookies). I need the parent to come trundle me into bed and sit and smooth the hair back from my brow, murmuring endearments. Can I simply fall asleep and wake up when it is all over and the new earth is firmly landed in?  My heart cries, enough, enough already, get me off this merry go round!

Wash away my weariness, dear undines of the water.

Wash away my weariness, dear undines of the water.

As a collective, we are moving into unity consciousness. We are feeling everyone in a deeper way. Our hearts have exploded, shattered into a million pieces,  each containing the former capacity of the whole. We are amazing creatures to have signed on for this ride. To have said yes to attempting to move a carbon based dense body into a crystalline one that floats on air. Magicians are we. I celebrate each one of you as well as myself. The road will be easier for our brothers and sisters who follow, after all this heavy clearing work that we have done. The only thing that keeps our heads above water is TRUST. It sits like a jewel in our hearts and its glow is a lamp that we are drawn to over and over in order to see our way forward. Hold on, warriors of the heart. We are almost there. We have read channelings for ages and want to spit it all out. So tired of hearing, soon, almost, nearly there……like a child we can feel betrayed by the never ending litany of platitudes. It is time to throw a temper tantrum and state, I won’t take this anymore!!!

Glory of God moments fill my heart.

Glory of God moments fill my heart.

After we thoroughly exhaust ourselves, lying spent with our hair wild about us, tears staining our face……we take a breath. We look about and if we are fortunate, we make the choice to see with new eyes. This is an internal work, a shift of perception that we are asked to make. We are the vision keepers so while all this physical morphing is taking place, we are asked to see the new earth as if it were here. We are asked to be the child with the wild imagination who sits down to tea with our fairy friends. We are asked to allow the ribbons of our heartlight to embrace every soul on the planet, weaving the new tapestry of love that enfolds, nurtures, enlivens all. We are asked to see the beauty in the depravity of human nature and bring it back to the reality of love. We are asked to do the unimaginable. The amazing thing is., that we are doing it! We knew that we were stars, come to bring our great light to this dear beloved planet. Oh, how we love her! To bring our love to each man, woman and child, knowing them as us. Holding each one so tenderly in our hearts as we hold that immaculate concept for each one. Oh, the agony and the ecstasy of this time! Millions asked for this assignment and only a few were chosen. I am honored to be in your company. My heart bows before each of yours. Espavo! Thank you for taking your power, for walking the fierce fire walk that is this third dimensional life. Our victory is assured. We are making it. My heart tells me that over and over. I know. I simply know that love is a force like no other and that all melts before its light. God bless us all.

It is a New World!

Each day, the sun gives us a new picture, just as we are called to create anew each day with the energy gifted to us.

My understanding has been coming in waves. Today one broke that thrilled me. As we ride the waves to their peak, we are afforded a new perspective. I saw that the underpinnings of this old world, have been pulled out. The whole reality is held in place by the continued belief system of the masses. As more of us learn to ride these energy waves, we are freed from the old way of seeing which allow us to take the steps out of the old matrix. All of the old will collapse as its purpose has been served. We can use our energy to energize the world our hearts desire. We are creating our new earth!

The rocks are so happy that someone allowed them a new vista!

Now as I plummet down the surface of the wave, I can be at peace in the quiet time, knowing that the new is real and I will be taken up once again. For so long, we rode wave after wave with no change in sight. It felt exhausting to hold onto our raft of faith in the midst of the storms that beset us. I knew that life was meant to be magical, ease and joy filled but all the evidence pointed to the contrary. This new energy moves like nature, it has its spring time of bursting forth, its dormant winter of going within, its brilliant summer of beauty. It is not static. We have lived under slavery, forced to work each day in a system that assumed a body could produce at a steady pace, day in and day out. We are not wired this way, our energy peaks and then it wanes. It flows out in a burst of social engagement and then returns inward to days of quiet. It is not a constant stream. No wonder we felt so deadened in our 9-5 jobs, our school days, our family lives…..monotony dulls us. If we could not fit the system, we were given a label and a drug …..take a pill, it will make the world more palatable.

Peace feels possible! We are creating it moment to moment in our hearts.

Now we can stretch our wings, stand on that tall branch and survey the scene below. Our sense perceptions are changing. Our hearts are melting into love. Our souls are speaking through us, surprising us in their boldness. A friend said a work acquaintance called on business and before getting off the phone said,” I love you!” She is very psychic and could hear his next thought of ,”Oh my God, what did I just say?!” His soul burst through in what is considered an inappropriate manner but the truth is we do love one another. We do! My friend responded with, “I love you, too!” We are creating a world where we can speak our truth without fear. Where we can be transparent in all of our thoughts. Where fear is nowhere to be found. Another friend related how she had taken a new way home from her church service. She discovered a lovely little bakery and had so much fun. She engaged in a conversation with an older woman who invited her to her 90th birthday party. All of this happened because she faced a fear of trying something new, taking a new route. Small changes leading to transforming lives. It is happening everywhere and people are smiling with how good it feels. Freedom is heady stuff.

I love when the flames dance.

I planted my seeds of intention on yesterday’s new moon. I felt joy in the movement out of my cocoon of the past months. Walks, talks, art making. Today I witnessed my energy retracting, collapsing inward, like the wave, come to rest on the shore. The couch and fire have called me. My meditation for the day has been as a fire tender. Keeping the flames dancing is the all of it. Trusting this, trusting my impulses to be perfectly aligned for me, to me. In honoring the energy as it moves through, I can be assured of always being in my perfect place at the perfect time. I am not missing anything. Today, I did not answer the phone as words were not a part of this silent fire tending. I allowed the movement to take me deep. In honoring me, I allow the world to reflect that honoring back to me.

My cells get sooo excited about all this color coming their way in my juice.

I see this is the way of the energy, it builds, movement and excitement are present, then it recedes and deep rest is called for. Movement, then rest. Movement, then rest. Following the wave, surrendering, trusting, flowing rather than fighting. Moving with life rather than trying to throw up a road block to its flow. As we each move into this acceptance, this grace, our world responds ever more eagerly to out picture the life we desire. I desired lemons and a friend asked if I wanted a bag from her tree. I smiled in gratitude for how beautifully I am cared for. How deeply we are all loved. We were told it was not true and we believed it for a time. But our knowing is coming back, we are remembering who we are. There is no need to analyze it in our heads, process it out……we can drop into our hearts and access our knowing for this moment. And that is all that matters. Trusting that all future moments will be cared for when they arrive. Oh, the freedom to let go of the lens of the past and live in this moment! My former husband and I were laughing in delight at how we are sharing our love for one another. It feels so good to have dropped the pain of the past. It is an old story that we will never read again as there is this new story of friendship and support that is so engaging. This is the choice we each have in every moment, to feel our truth and speak it. To live in the joy of our heart’s prompting. To access our deepest desires and to so infill them with feeling, that they burst forth on the screen of life with vibrant passion and beauty. We have existed on a diet of bread and water and suddenly discovered the kaleidoscope of fruits and vegetables! My son read me a line from a book he was reading that struck a chord: “flamboyants (had to look it up, it is a type of tree when used as a noun), scarlet against the blue sky,flaunt their color like a cry of passion. They are sensual with an unashamed violence that leaves you breathless.”
from The Moon and Sixpence….W.Somerset Maugham

The earth sends me messages of love all the time, as I do her.

I am moving into this experience of sensuality with life! Last night as I lay in bed, imagining my beloved holding me, I was caressed from my shoulders to hips to legs, over and over. It was my beloved and he was able to allow me to feel his touch. I sobbed and sobbed. It went on for about five minutes, which is pretty long. Long enough for my mind to begin to wander to another thought. I laughed and laughed then at myself. In bliss and then thinking of some mundane thing…..again the wave, up and down. Do not judge where you are in it, simply be in it. The bliss comes and then abates, tears and then laughter……we are learning to dance with life!

What is Your Heart Knowing?

This single lime green mum, is lighting me up!

Time is so fluid, I discover that I am more rooted in the present moment. Once moved through, it ceases to exist except when called back in conversation. I am grateful for the old that has dropped away to allow the new to emerge. I am grateful that my back is more fluid and the way the pain taught me to move with more grace and appreciation of my body elemental. I carry myself differently. I walk as my fairy queen self who has lately desired expression. I put bells on my ugg boots as it pleases that aspect of myself so very much. I allow my fairy dressers to choose the robe I wear. Today it is ruby red, deep velvet, yet it floats lightly on the air as I walk. It has flame tendrils flowing from it…….fiery day ahead! Tune in to your robe and see what is there for you. It is a fun game that I play with myself and a couple of friends.

My jingling boots

We have stepped into the year of imagination. It is time to image the world that we wish to create. The feeling is the most important aspect, what do you want to feel in 2013? How do I see myself? What do I want? None of the answers can be found in your mind. We have let go of the lifetimes of the mind being dominant in figuring out our world. We have entered a new era where we must tune to our hearts to create a feelscape, a dreamscape of our future. Take a deep breath and drop in. What arises?

For me, I want to be in the place on this earth, that feeds my highest expression, surrounded by others whose frequencies feed my soul. I want to be co-creating with them. I feel children’s laughter and soft arms and bodies, I know flowers are all about me and my beloved swings a little one high on his shoulders and a flock gather to make cookies. I feel my arm moving in a wide sweep across a huge canvas and I laugh. I allow myself to enter this feeling scape each day, seeing what new aspect appears. Focusing more on the feeling than the details.

My present reality returns and I look around with eyes of appreciation. What action can I take to move towards this desire of my heart? I trust and surrender to the divine timing of it all. I take a deep breath and see where my energy wants to move. So far, it is in making a green juice for myself as my cells leap in joy at the sound of the juicer. Drinking my juice, I arrange a bunch of flowers that I bought yesterday. I love scattering small groupings about the house, one for my Mother Mary, one for the bathroom, today one for the fireplace as it is a no burn day here in Sacramento so the surface is cool. Now it is writing.

Seeing the gold in every slice of life.

I am so blessed to be able to follow the rhythms of my soul, no to dos as I trust that all will be accomplished in its perfect time when I allow. My bedroom is a warren of clothes and books, a mess from when I injured my back. I am feeling it will be put to order soon but it is not quite the moment. When I allow myself to move this way, all becomes a joy. The old way of forcing myself to a task, has long dropped away. I am delighting in witnessing so many others moving into this new way of flowing. The energy is so quick to respond to our desirings. My son came for a visit and wanted to connect with his cousin who was in town for the holidays. The days passed with no plan but then a desire to text his cousin came, and fifteen minutes later they were both out on the bike trail, having a lovely ride together. We can begin to trust the synchronicity to be there to support our desires rather than the old mental planning. Yes, it is still necessary in some situations but the more we can allow the flow, the more grace can move in our lives. Take an imagination break today and feel what your heart is calling you to.

Life Conspiring to Play with Us

This tulip opened its heart to me.

Have you noticed how all of life is conspiring to co-create with us? How everything is looking for our attention? And as soon as we gift it with our attention, it gifts us back with love. Last night, my son and I were talking about weaving our light together to co-create some information coming through on the balanced divine feminine and divine masculine. As I said the word, weave, a big spider dropped down from the ceiling on its silken thread to land in front of us. Yes! He wanted to weave with us. Oh, it makes me laugh. This morning, I made a decision as I lay in bed to organize the room I am temporarily perched in. A bird outside the window gave three sharp calls (3 being my magic number of confirmation) and I smiled.

I used my body as a pendulum to see what it wanted this morning. Did it want to go for a walk….even possibly a bit of run, this morning? I have been imagining starting to run again, after years of not running. The answer came; yes, she did! Off I went and it felt good to move my body in this way again. I am discovering that by imagining what I want, feeling myself doing it while in repose, I am pre-paving the way. I am dreaming my future into being. I co-create in conversations with a select few who are in resonance with me at the moment. I allow that to change as it does, not holding to anyone as someone flows into my field and another flows out. No more holding. Wanting freedom for myself and for all others as we allow the movement that is natural to our beingness. We have imposed such tight structures around how we are to relate, if it is biological family, there is duty involved, if a friend, there are rules to follow, if it is the opposite sex and we are not in a romantic relationship, more limits apply. Yikes, it is a wonder that we moved at all with all the confining ties.

A leaf floating in the pool, holding a heart bubble of water, mirroring my heart floating free.

My former hubby, now friend, just brought me a cup of coffee. That feels good today. I am in full appreciation for each moment and what is shared within. There are folks I may speak with every day and then weeks may go by without a word. Others I may have been with daily, sharing so intensely in the moments and then not at all. Trusting all of it. Not holding to anything. Allowing.

Surrendering and trust……my two words of the last few days. There has been a deepening. A knowing that permeates my being. I know that I am in my perfect place, doing just what I came here to do. All the questioning, the self analysis, the wondering, the anxiety, the comparison to others’ paths,  to my own expectation of what my life should look like or be, has dropped away. I feel so free! I allow myself to move as the ethers would have it. I know that this time of quiet is deeply enriching. I am alone for most of the moments of the day. Two, dear to my heart, enter sporadically and I can choose to engage or not. Others come in through phone, text or email. I allow my heart to decide if there is to be contact, depending on its desires of the moment. My heart leads in all things. It has become my home base. I move in and out of it all day long. I am so grateful for the way I set up my life for this time. The freedom that I offered myself to simply be in these final days in 3D, allowing myself to focus fully on bridging heaven and earth.

Songs flow through spontaneously from Sophia, my I AM presence, letting me know that I am in the flow of my heart’s stream. The earth tunes me through my voice, toning the sounds that she wishes to emit in the moments that I am called to be her amplifier. I drop deep into the stillness of my heart and allow myself to be the beam of the lighthouse, flashing its message of safety and warmth. I have been listening to Tom Kenyon’s latest offering of the Aethos: http://tomkenyon.com/the-aethos-and-non-dual-states-of-consciousness in preparation for his November world-wide meditation. It is an interesting recording that allows access to a non-duality state of consciousness. It is a gift that I am savoring as I listen each day.

I observe everything in my world, what moves about me, within me. There is a deep appreciation for all of it. New aspects of me are coming in, I welcome them with a smile. At Mount Shasta last week, this bracelet spoke to me and insisted it had to be worn upside down. The curve informs some part of my being as my priestess self recalls those lines. A friend mentioned a book that she felt I would resonate with. It is by an Irish author. Ireland has reemerged of late as an important place to my soul. I recently found a soul sister there and her writing opened memories and connections.  I delighted in the fact of being somewhere long enough to place an online order. The book ( a used hardcover copy being the same price as paperback!) holds the next bit of info for me, I could feel my bones quivering in excitement as I unwrapped it. Yes, my bones! Now that means it is important on a visceral level to me. I pay attention!

My son's painting that I view from my bed, grounding me with its earthen colors and cows touching the earth.

All of life is speaking to us, if we but tune our ears to listen. Spirit uses nature, bumper stickers, friends’ words, lines of songs, an object tripped over, our body, anything and everything, to get our attention. Trust its words, follow its lead and you can let your mind rest. I am moving through my heart which houses our greatest intelligence, as science has now discovered. This freedom makes me giddy at times! No planning, no agenda, allowing myself to be moved as the inspiration flows. I am learning to dance on the in breath and out. To flow in a way I formerly dreamed of. Grace accompanies me and I honor its place in my life. I honor your flame next to mine, and rejoice in its glow.

His companion piece that shows the vibratory nature of this reality.

 

 

 

 

10-11-12…..is this the take off?

Pink love clouds

I spiraled so high with the energies yesterday (10-10), feeling and expressing my love for all. The evening brought a sifting of all that I observed throughout the day. I am paying attention to everything. For example, in a call this morning, Petaluma was mentioned as it was a few days ago by another friend. It was a contender in the past as a place to live. A online chat revealed that my former love was living with a woman. I had spent moments earlier in the day, surrounding him in love, remembering our time on 10-10-10 and the love we anchored in. My heart felt many emotions flow through, not all light and airy! I ended with joy that he had someone loving him. I was surprised later in the day to receive a message of such love telepathically from his higher self. It came into my heart loud and clear and was a gift of closure and peace.  My daughter mentioned something about her dad that triggered an old pain that I breathed through and observed as it released its hold. What surprised me was how I felt that I had been embraced in the feeling of intense love all day long yet there were these moments of pain that had surfaced. I only saw them as I was speaking to my son and reflecting on the day. It was good to process them with him, pluck out the kernel of learning for me and toss the rest aside. Like digging out the sweet meat in a nut, you savor the nourishment and taste, tossing the shell that housed it, aside. There is no need to keep the old memories, the old sorrows and pains. They arise for us to pluck the wisdom they hold, to understand why we are holding that particular shell in our hands. Once the understanding is tasted, we can let go of the rest.

In this time, I am simply taking notes of what I observe as I know that there is no longer any “figuring it out” to be had in this new space. It is about allowing and opening to receive and following inspiration when it comes. I was gifted by my former hubby with an invitation to stay here, in the family home that he bought me out of. I am deeply appreciative of the love offered and the space it allows for me to float. It was a place that once triggered much sadness and pain for me. Now it is neutral. My elder son lives here and it is a gift to be near him as we weave our light together for greater understanding…….he helps me to use the sacred mind to explore the sacred heart. Through conversation, I sift the images and energies of the day through his consciousness which is so encompassing and expansive. He sifts through my heart, it is a beautiful co-creation.

A little house by the sea.......this model might do!

I can feel my own space forming, where I will be in a community of awakened souls. My personality self wants it now, my soul is at peace as it holds me still. The time is not yet here, it whispers. Yet, it is drawing me close even though details of where, when, or who are non-existent.  I know that I  am creating it day by day. I watched Diane Keaton in Something’s Gotta Give and used the beautiful house by the sea with the desk looking out over the ocean,  as my writing spot. I cried her tears of heartbreak at feeling the touch of deep connection and having it move away. That heart connection with others is what makes the feeling of home and oh, that desire is so ripe in me. I made chicken soup in response to the cool, rainy day and as my son came in, the smell became part of that feeling. I baked chocolate chip cookies and a sense of home burst in my mouth.  I lie on the grass and drifted with the clouds as the earth spun her joy through me, singing of home. I chatted on the phone with a dear friend and we created home with our heart strings plucking a tune. The conversation creates …my friend asked, “Can you feel it?” Yes, I can and that is why I am aware of my time on the phone or in person conversations. It is a form of creation and I am aware of the energy it takes as well as conscious of what I choose to create with it. I harbor my energy as so much is spent weaving with the earth and the elementals. I need heaps of time alone in silence in the space of my own heart.

I am playing the scales of emotion, weeping at the beauty of songs, the vibrant color of the bouquet of tulips that I bought, the feel of my son’s strong hug, the sun filling my body with its soft kiss. The air felt soft today, the earth herself feels softer, quieter to me. A sense of anticipation, excitement sweeps over me. The next moment, I wonder how long I can last in this in between space, a toehold in this 3D environment, my heart traveling ahead on rays of light and sound. I am untethered, so apart from most folks. So adrift it feels at times that I am connected to no thing or no one. I want to know God. I want to be home in Her/His embrace. Often I am. Other times, I observe myself riding alone in rough seas, feeling that I cannot contain this tension much longer. Holding the polarity within my being and learning to breathe deeply with it.

I am ready to create and yet it feels that it is not to be here. But there. And where is there? I do not know. I can feel it, almost touch it but it has not landed in. We are creating in mid-air and all must line up for it to enter the physical realms. I keep hearing the word, complete. It is done. I feel it in my bones. The biggest part I came to do, has been accomplished. The earth has tipped the scales to love and she is bathing us all in her light. Our father sun is streaming new codes into our beings and completing the process of turning our bodies into light.

Sometimes the tiny bits of beauty are hidden in dark places.

Today I felt appreciation for the wisdom of my body that stops me from moving when my mind wants to figure this out. I want a place to call home. My mind says, Hey, step this way and I’ll figure it out.It knows how to search for apartments, homes. My body says, not today. Not in this moment. In this moment, I am slowly moving from hot tub to couch to nap time in bed. SLOW. I allow it its movement as I trust it to move me to my heart’s desires. I savor the rest, the respite from the energetic storms that we have been in. I am learning to dance with more grace, flowing in the arms of the Creator, then driving to get groceries, weaving light with the air currents, then paying my phone bill on the computer. All day long, in and out in fluid motion of love. I am blessed with very little in the way of demands from the physical world and yet there are times I yearn for tethers. Surrendering into this in between space takes courage and attention. I do not know anyone as untethered as I and it can be a lonely post.

In this moment, I am well. I have had the house to myself to move in. There is nothing that I have to do nor even want to do. The peace is welcome. My agitated thoughts have quieted and my heart is singing a soft tune of love. Sleep offers a new view to this weary soul. I slip in, knowing regeneration is at hand. Trusting the love to carry me through to this new land that my heart knows and lives. Sweet dreams.

Anxiety on the Rise

Beautiful bridge as I drove into Vancouver. Like two ships sailing the waters.

As our planet is being blessed with energies pouring in from our sun as well as other star systems and planetary bodies, the levels of anxiety are rising. We are being gifted with energies that speed up our vibrations, which will eventually allow us greater ease and movement in all of our bodies; physical, emotional, mental and spiritual. This is an amazing gift. But right now, it may feel like anything but!

LIke this photo, the mast head could be likened to our crown chakras where the light streams in . It then is filtered down through our bodies’ circuitry to enliven all of our cells. I am a transducer, along with many others, allowing the current to be stepped down through my body so as to be more accessible for the  masses. So on a high energy day like yesterday, I was in reclining mode as all my being was fully engaged in this process.

I love how the clouds move and change throughout the day. It is time to allow that fluidity into all aspects of our lives.

As the light floods in, the debris rises to the surface to be sloughed off. It is a cleansing process. This is where the anxiety kicks in. The ego self feels that it is about to lose its job and it is fighting to stay in control. Our higher selves are moving in to bring us to unity consciousness while the ego strives to maintain its separation. The ego cannot win as we are coded to evolve and move into oneness. You can help your ego out of its anxiety by having a conversation with it. I never understood the notion of eliminating the ego. It has served me well when it was in charge and I have expressed my gratitude. I then let Henry (yes that is my name for him) know that he had reached retirement age. I gave him the gold watch for a job well done and introduced him to Sophia, my higher self, who now runs the show. For the most part, Henry has been gracious in his retirement though occasionally he throws out some advice which I thank him for, reminding him that he is free to drift along now, not concerning himself with the workings of my days. He has grown to be fond of Sophia and admits that she is skilled in running my show.

There is a clearing that is taking place to allow room for the new aspects of ourselves to enter in. We are in the process of bringing our entire soul group into this body. We can invite in all the highest vibrational aspects from all of our many lives and make use of our myriad gifts garnered throughout time and space. How fun is that!!! The anxiety arises in the letting go. The fear that we are losing something instead of the joy of all that is to be gained. This is being outpictured through the loss of jobs, relationships, homes, security. The outer structures of society are crumbling, forcing us to go inside for some connection. This is all part of the plan to move us from an outer directed world to an inner directed one where we know our connection to Source.  All of our security is internal. We were taught to look outside to social security, an insurance policy, dollars in the bank, a corporation as the means of survival in this world. Now the pendulum has swung and we must face ourselves in a new way.

Two insects mating, i moved them outside and they did not register my interference at all. They were so fully in their moment that the outer disturbance held no import for them.

To let go, we must trust that there is something better coming our way. We let go of old angers and find the freedom as love flows. We let go of focusing on the ills of the world and discover the peace of the space around us. We let go of possessions and discover the lightness that brings. We let go of trying to control other people’s lives and discover that we have work to do in our own. We let go of seeking answers outside of ourselves and  discover the wisdom within. Everything that we seek, can be found within our own being.

So as the anxiety rises up in your being, greet it with a smile. Thank it for alerting you that things are different. That much is falling away, that much is crumbling. Rejoice in this news and surrender to the dismantling of the old way of living. Allow the new to flow through you and see where it takes you. Stay in the moments, feeling each emotion fully and then releasing once again. The in breath and out breath. We are being newly born. Treat yourself  with the upmost tenderness and care. We are birthing our divinity. What a sight we are!