Death and Crystal Skulls

An angel that has been with me for a long time, she speaks to me of grace and peace.

An angel that has been with me for a long time, she speaks to me of grace and peace.

The current energies are helping us to stay out of our mind and land in more securely in our hearts. There was a deep pause at the end of December which induced a semi-sleep state in many of us.  The new year opened with all kinds of clearing. My whole family went through a death experience that was powerful. Energies converged with my my older son that led to his voicing how tenuous his hold in this world was. Suicide was mentioned in passing that sent the experience right through my core as well as his dad’s. I understood this as there was a field of darkness kicked up by the intense love that had been released on the solstice. Suicide energies were enlivened and were seeking hosts. LIghtworkers had been holding on by a thread, seeking the relief of the solstice energies, which did not manifest in the way many “thought” they would. It was the dark night before the dawn of change and it served to release a huge bubble of disappointment, despair, anger and frustration from the planet. Not easy nor pretty to be in. Like a knife in the heart, it moved through me with a shudder and sobs, clean and swift. For my former husband, it was a drawn out wail that took him deep into his own fears. All perfect to each one.

At the same time, my younger son ended a relationship and was experiencing physical and emotional heart pains that were intense. Then my daughter called from New Zealand to relate her experience of being the first to happen upon a road accident. She and her partner stopped to help despite running late for a wedding. Needless to say, they missed the wedding ceremony. My daughter stayed with the three folks in their van which was smoking, having hit a tree.  Her partner went to find help and cell phone reception to call for an ambulance. It took 45 minutes for aid to arrive. In that time, my daughter followed her intuition and called upon her first aid training from years as a lifeguard to help the woman who was most injured. She made a neck brace with her body and was able to clear her air passages. She encouraged the unconscious woman to breathe and kept assuring her that she was ok and cared for. Upon his return, her partner made sure that my daughter spoke with the medical personnel after all were cared for. She learned that she had done everything as they would have, her intuition had been right. The woman, an Israeli tourist, ended up dying. So death visited our family in a gale force wind that released those layers from our beings. Intense and liberating. We were left with immense gratitude and a heightened appreciation for this experience on earth.

IMG_2452Shortly after this, I was invited to meet a crystal skull named Marie. Due to my Mother Mary connection, the name called to me. I held an aversion for skulls, retreating when I saw skull and crossbones imagery. I had heard of the crystal skulls on the planet, coming to aid our expansion at this time. I opened myself to the experience, following the tug that Marie was causing in my heart. I love crystal bowls and have come to know them as beings that each have their own energies and gifts. I recognize the beings in trees and rocks and plants. This was another opening into the many beings that populate our world.

I had recently undergone a journey into the underworld with my back spasms. I was shown how my experience was helping to lift all physical suffering from this plane. Marie wanted to lie next to my back. She took it a step further. I sobbed from the depths of my being as I connected to the suffering. She said, “This time is coming to a close. Suffering is no longer needed to evolve and learn. Joy will be the new pathway for evolution.” She then instructed me to turn over and cradle her to my heart (she is big, 39 lbs of crystal). I then began to sing with her. She does indeed bring the Mother Mary energies of love. I felt cradled and held. I have worked with her a couple more times, knowing she amplifies my heart energy in a new way. I will continue to play with her in the times to come.

IMG_2471There was a release of creative energy that came in after the death clearing. It energized me, bringing the idea of a book and art to the fore once again. Followed quickly by the deep sleep! I am learning to ride these waves. To see how to open myself fully to the creative energies when they arise but not attach when they just as rapidly, depart. The trick is to not allow disappointment or self judgment to enter in but trust the process and stay with what is true in the moment.  I am now in a sleepy phase, moving as though encased in molasses, the simplest of activities can feel like mountain climbing. To care for my physical needs, takes everything I have. Flashes of energy move through at times, some as visions that I feed with my heartlight, some bringing movement in the physical. I am discovering how to surrender and trust at all times. Knowing my higher self is directing this movement for my highest good. My mind can feel distress when there seems no action towards a goal but my heart is skipping in the flames of joy, knowing all is well. I am discovering that the old thoughts move through like a gentle breeze that floats them away as I open to feel every feeling fully. There is no longer any attachment so they move on and I am left in my heartlight. The old energies simply will not hold any longer…….hallejuah!


May’s Love Day Builds the Bridge

A bridge along the Oregon coast sometime last year

Love day. How beautiful that today was celebrated as love day. Here are the things that happened for me today.  My former husband reminded me that this was the day that we met 30 years ago. It was the day we celebrated each year as our anniversary.  We laughed that here we were, once again, working together on a yard project. After all these years, how strange it all was. We created a bridge over some formerly turbulent waters of our past. We acknowledged how we had helped one another to grow. How the years of unloving had led me to love myself. We talked about friendship and offering that in a new way to one another. Immediately, he started to tell me how he had little time for friendship, offering excuses. I laughed and said, “Oh, I see your offer was too much and you are now withdrawing it.” An old pattern surfacing. A beautiful new thing happened then. He recalled reading something about how when you achieve a peak experience or new level in a relationship, you need time to process it and integrate it. If you are not conscious about it, you end up creating a crisis or argument that leads to a time of separation which then allows the integration. By being conscious, you can state that you need time to assimilate the new aspect in the relationship and peace can be maintained. It was so lovely to hear him state his need and to be able to honor it. A new way was bridged and I felt such gratitude. So proud of both of us. When we can openly state our needs with love, there is freedom to be found.

Beautiful clouds as the day waned.

Ten days ago, I asked my former husband if I could spend the night at the family house as I was get-ting in late and my car was here, as were my sons. He would not be here as he is only here three nights of the week. He graciously agreed. I am still here. This was not planned. The energies streaming in have kept me pretty grounded. I have small bursts of activity….looked at 2 apartments today (neither was a yes) and then rest, food and water are required. At times, the thought of getting up to go to the bathroom seems beyond me. Truly!  I cannot move. I laugh at how my higher self has orchestrated this time, not something I was looking for yet here I am. And tonight’s bridge to a new friendship is the reward. I am being shown over and over to trust my heart, trust the universe to guide me to the situations that lead to my  greatest growth. Our minds would not choose them as we tend to avoid things thought to be painful but if we allow our hearts to lead, we are led to healing and freedom.

A mural at a restaurant, birds flitting about.

I was doing yoga outside (managed 10 minutes before fatigue overtook me, but it was 10 minutes!) when in triangle pose I looked up. A hawk was circling above me. I watched him executing his graceful turns with wings outstretched and felt I was drifting with him on the air currents. Hawks are my power animal, showing up often in my life. I felt he was giving me a message that my love would soon be with me. I thanked him and sent him a beam of love. Right before going outside a friend had sent a message that her beloved was soon to join her. It all felt interconnected to me, our loves are coming as we open our hearts to our own love. The Venus transit on June 4th is already in motion, bringing in big love energies. I know myself as Venusian and feel a sense of home coming.

Hearts everywhere, even in a bag of chips!

An apartment manager I met today shared that his 22 year old son had commited suicide six months ago. He wanted to talk about the pain he felt, the guilt of being too hard, the frustration of years of his son’s drug addiction and rehab efforts that did not succeed. He showed my son and I,  his son’s picture and admonished me to cherish my son. He said he now called his other children regularly. He was expressing his love on this love day in wanting to share stories of his son with us. Wanting us to know of his beauty and struggle. Love, oh how we search for it, need it, desire it.

It has been a long journey to this new world where love will be the rule. Where hearts can open wide and that will be the norm. I am witnessing the transformation all around me. Begin to look for evidence and it will be given. Yes, this is the time to turn on our heartlights and never turn them off again. That young man could not see past the pain of separation and so chose to open a different door. We have hoped, we have yearned to live in love and now the reward is at hand. A world of love is being born. Thank God we are here to participate in it. Don’t wait to begin, now is the time to turn your heartlight on high! This is what our high beams were made for!  Our hearts are the instrument to birth this world we desire. Free your heart of everything but love, drop all else and shine it so bright. No child, no one has to live in a world without love. We are the ones to make this a reality for ourselves, our children and the generations to come. It all starts within……your heart, my heart, one heart.