Love and Rage……the dance

This is my latest painting, first one done in my son’s art studio here in San Francisco. It is such a joy to paint side by side with him and critique one another’s work. Our styles and subject matter are very different but our sense of beauty is shared. Of course, my focus is divine love and the beloveds coming together. Yes, still waiting for mine to show up! Painting the feeling that I have, helps me to anchor it here in the physical. The golden chalice is a reoccurring theme for me. I believe that twin flame couples have a chalice that they fill with their love each day. I invite the Creator in to add Her/His light and love and offer it in service for the highest good of all. This painting brings my beloved closer as well as reminding me that he is always with me.

11-11-11 happened and much energy was moved. Exiting duality is tougher than I thought! This is a deity whose name I cannot recall from the Retreat into Snow Mountain that I did with Tom Kenyon. He said that this was one of the protectors who he called in to secure the space while we went through our transformations with White Tara and Black Tara. A fierce being who helps in destroying (releasing is a gentler word) all that no longer serves us. It seems that the energies of 11-11-11, released blocks that we had. Once released, all the emotions that had been stuck, could suddenly move. It felt a bit overwhelming to have old, old stuff coming up. I had to remind myself and friends who called, (love that we can share these experiences without judgment) that it was coming up to be felt once again before departing for good. Feel it, witness it, let it move one through is my mantra. I felt it was the final uncoiling or unwinding… please say it is so!! I found myself going into judgment of myself as I felt and expressed anger. My oldest son was bringing me his understanding of unity consciousness and my ego sprang into attack mode (see the claws on this creature!!) as I felt judged. My ego wanted to impress upon him that I have been on this path for longer than he, hence I should know more. Ha! He was being the mirror for me to see all the places where I was judging myself and not loving me. He did have new knowings that benefit me. So there was a fear that I was not so wise and wonderful. A fear that I had missed something and had gotten it wrong.

We have to love every part of our shadow. All the icky parts that we have hidden away have been released and are asking for love. “Will you love me, Linda even if I got it wrong? “On the heels of this melt down that involved all the ways that I have not been seen in this life, I interfered in the relationship between my sons. Yikes! Ok, duality consciousness again, judgment of myself again. Ego ran screaming, I want to live alone! What am I doing living with my kids??? As if that would protect me from painful things coming up. No, I know it does not work like that. I can be all alone and things will come up through a phone call, an email, an encounter. Life shows up and our higher selves are ever vigilant to continue bringing us what we do not want to look at. They know that until all is brought to the light of day and loved, we are bound. And we are freedom loving beings. We want to be free emotionally. We want to live our truth in each moment. We want to be the love that we truly are.

Surrender seems to be the name of the game over and over. Surrendering and returning to that place of peace and love in my heart. Calming the inner storm, allowing the truth of the love to make itself known once again. And loving the wild woman who surges out as in loving her, I am released from her. I am grateful for all of me that is showing up. I am grateful for the light that is filling in the spaces where I let go of the past. I am grateful for a new moment to begin again. I am grateful for all the loving hearts that reflect my love back at me. Thank you!