Mount Shasta called me back to experience the OM crystal as it was activated. I felt it as a blast in my body that required a retreat from the darkening cold of the day. I awoke in the night with a belly swollen and cramped as the light sought integration in my body. I flipped open a book and came upon this poem that spoke to my heart.
I question the grief
still in process moving through my belly,
the stiff contours of my throat, the shaking
that lives in back of my thighs, calves,
extreme targets of energy having rested
there for years burrowing in with my mind
saying do not feel, push down and now
nowhere to go except to feel
the slim connection still there, joy
remains behind and underneath
the grief as i allow grief to flow
out, acknowledging yes I have been
too long in pain.
-John Joseph Crimmins
( I could find no personal information on this poet and ask his indulgence to reprint it here.)
I see so many folks in the throes of this pain that is crying out for release. Our bodies will no longer carry this burden, instead they are demanding to be lightened. Our freedom is at hand as all around I hear the nervous laughter and laments, “I am being shredded”, “all is falling apart”, “we are in the fiery furnace”, “my life is out of control”. We are letting go of this stored grief that we had thought so cleverly hidden that none would ever find. I was surprised to find how I had hid lumps of it, deep within my cells. It is the great unmasking as we shed our false selves to come with our bruised and battered hearts to the mirror of ourselves. The mirror asks of us, “Will you love me without the mask? Will you find me acceptable despite my blackened face? Can you see the light in me and love me yet?”
Yes and yes again. I embrace each lump of coal, each sorrow that could not be borne, each arrow that had embedded in my frame. Now is the call to be the warriors of the heart that we are. To acknowledge our mastery, our mysterious natures created from sinew, bone and thought. Our bodies are rejecting the role of landfill of our lives. They are wanting to glow with our heartlight, to dance with fluid expression, to fill with the Christos, the light from on high. Quick, let us be about the plucking of those arrows of shame and remorse, dig out the pockets of betrayal, scrap away the unworthiness and haul up the leaden buckets of not enough love.
Our earth has been drilled and filled with toxins aplenty. Our hearts lament, and wish to take action. We look outside ourselves for a cause to join to appease our aching hearts. As in all things, we have been trained to look everywhere but to the one source. It is inward, always has been, in each and every thing. I have made of my body, a dumping ground of the most toxic of thoughts and emotions. I wore my mask well so that none might smell the stench of decaying darkened moments. We spend inordinate time and money to dress well, attend to the hairs on our head, cover our scents with perfumes all the while, the inner dross grows in its darkness. To clear the toxins from our mother’s heart, we must clear our own. This is the work of the now moment. To free ourselves to be the light and beauty that we are. To retrace the steps to each moment of darkness that we could not face. To call upon our angels and star families to take our hands and help us do this thing before us.
It is time to claim stewardship over the microcosm of our beings so as to be enlightened stewards over the macrocosm of this mother of ours.
Many have been in the process of clearing households, letting go of possessions, feeling the freedom that comes from owning less and thereby, having more. This is the next step, to do the internal housekeeping with a loving heart. To embrace each shadow with a heart felt hug, to greet all with a smile of welcome. There is no time to wait. There is no agency to call upon. This task awaits each one. Trust to your courage, your fortitude and call on your team to guide the way. But begin, we must.
As you clear, ask for each cell now vacant to be filled with your own light. Each of us has a storehouse that is larger than our homes, larger than our cities, larger than this dear planet! Yes, you are that light, that love. Call it forth into your newly prepared rooms. The Creator is asking to take up residence in your heart and mine. He/She cannot enter when we have packed all the rooms and shut the doors. The love is wanting to enter in. Toss the judgments out and make room. This is a window given in love, take it in love and run with it. Breathe deep and ask. You will be shown where and how to begin.
A life of lightness and such love awaits. You will no longer need anyone nor anything to assure you that you are OK, that you are acceptable, that you are anything but the love that will course through your veins. This I know to be truth and my heart rejoices in it. Let the river of love flood through your being and your life will be transformed. We will then see true magic as our earthly mother dons her garments of light once again. Do you see? We have held the keys all along. We are the creators of our reality. Which world do you chose to live in? If you choose peace, harmony, abundance for all……make sure you are all these things and it shall come to pass.