I see that it has been twenty-one days since I last wrote. Time is an illusion……flowing in wonderous ways these days. March has been a whirlwind of motion after months of stillness and rest. I traveled to Boulder, Colorado at the invitation of a friend. We shared some glorious days together, soaking in the beauty of the mountains. I had a day of snowshoeing with a beautiful new soul family member and my friend, a wonderful trinity of love. It fed my craving for snow, trees, sunlight and love. There were moments so full, we could do no more than look at one another, our heart light often bringing tears. My friend and I lived in a state of love, intoxicating and demanding in its force. So much energy in motion, knowing our fields were creating, drawn deep in the swirling spirals. Of late, I am finding that after a brief conversation, I have to go and lie down, dropping in and away for five minutes or fifteen…..long enough for the fine tuning and recalibration to take place from all being created in the sharing.
Everyone we need to complete with is coming to us. Everything we need to clear within is flowing or screaming its way to the surface. It is so important to not attach to any of it yet feel it all fully. You can feel depressed, depraved even yet know that is not defining you. You can be angry and know it is not who you are. All is looking for release. By being a field of love, we invite the energies within us that are less than love to come out and be seen. It is crucial to not judge ourselves when this happens. We can imagine holding out our arms to these recalcitrant energies as we would to a wayward child, inviting it in to be held and comforted.
A Native American man with eagle in his name showed up to complete work. Third powerful eagle energy in a Native being for me to work with. I sang to his heart which allowed our beings to spiral upward and down deep, bridging heaven to earth…..our contract and work. I could feel his wings and talons wanting to consume in the old way, as his spirit recognized and felt the liquidlovelight of the feminine. The work was for him to feel it, and slow down enough to find it inside himself rather than grasping at me to provide it. My work was to be the field of love with presence, a soft carpet beneath his being, allowing him to feel supported while he accessed that love inside, without my being trampled upon. I had to trust myself to know when to gently remove my carpet, showing him that he was standing on his own foundation, as his feminine came into balance with his masculine within. Society teaches men to find it outside and contain it as theirs, an old paradigm that keeps both sexes entrapped. A friend cautioned me in my contact with this powerful being yet I knew my feminine’s strength and power and that she was able for the task my soul called me to.
We shared an evening of kirtan at the Star House, in the mountains outside Boulder. A beautiful building, surrounded by a circle of standing stones where the music lifted us into the planes of ecstasy. The first song was to Ganesha, my dear elephant friend, who has been working with me for the past month or so. He had come to me on the mountain at 9000 feet where I had co-created a crystal grid that lay in the snowy sunlight. He had shown me that the love pouring into the planet was melting people’s hearts as surely as the sunlight was melting the snow about each crystal, so gently and softly does it touch our hearts. I knew that Ganesha was there as my protector and that I was to allow myself to be carried by the intensity of the drums and voices and the Eagle being beside me. I surrendered to the energy and chants and was rewarded with a dance with Shiva. He came to me as a flame in the sky, fiery and bright. We danced in patterns of golden light that sent a shower of liquidlovelight streaming earthward. I laughed and marveled that I was dancing with him (I had recently read a story of a flaming man, dreamt of flames and felt myself consumed) and he told me that we had danced together many times and this was our joy. Then Krishna was there playing his magic flute which seemed to dance me into a frenzy of love. I saw myself sitting on the floor, in the circle of folks and yet knew our spiraling energies weaving patterns in the sky. At one point, my Eagle friend went from swaying movement to deep stillness. I knew he had accessed that stream and later he related that he knew himself being the bridge between heaven and earth as he felt the power of the connection in his being. It is his role and mine, he the pillars of support, me the flowing stream that wayshows the path he upheld. We played our roles large as the music wove its patterns of love.
Later, the asking for more and my knowing the completion of our work. Each must integrate and discover the empowerment in self. We can assist one another but we cannot walk the path for another. We can only shine a light on the power and gifts that reside within so that the other can see them for themselves if they choose to look. This wonderful brother of my heart, asked some questions that brought me to another level of healing of a heart wound I was unaware was yet bleeding. I am so grateful for him showing up to do the work that was ours to do. He played his part well.
I was grateful to my feminine that set the boundary and declared my time of healing wounded warriors to be over. Knowing all must heal their own wounds, sit in the flame of their own fire and bring it all back to the love that is. We are the fierce mother flame that kicks the fledging out of the nest when it is its time to use its wings, holding the image of his soaring like a bright coal in our heart. As well as the lovers and friends who see the beauty of the other and act as a mirror to shine it back at them.
My friend illustrated this powerfully by holding her hands up, palms facing one another. Sovereignty facing sovereignty. The old energy, one leaning into another or leaning away. Both disempowering stances of victim/persecutor or aloofness masking fear. We can stand face to face, heart to heart and allow the love to flow freely, fearlessly when we have discovered our masculine’s strength balanced by the feminine’s flow. We are able vessels for this lovelight as it is what we are. Breathing in and sighing deep with the love that I am. Breathing in and savoring the love that you are. Tears of wonder at the love that is. A deep bow to us all.