In a dream, I was given handfuls of fluffy cotton candy looking stuff to play with. I was laughing and throwing it about, forming it into various shapes and tucking it here and there. The unseen givers told me that they would be back, I was to simply play with it for now. It was the most magical feeling as I have dreamed for so long of creating through my heart and here was this tangible heart fluff to mold to my desires.
All who know me have heard me speaking of this for a couple of years or more. Knowing that creator abilities exist in my heart and palms. I can feel it! I had my very first experience of this a few days ago in Mount Shasta…..yes the place of magic! I was in the crystal bowl store with my friend who was adding a new one to her collection. There are hundreds of bowls in the store, gleaming in their brilliance, deep reds, blues, oranges and golds……truly every color radiating their light. My eye was drawn to a luminescent pink one, rose quartz and platinum. I asked if I could play with it. I sat on the floor and with a light tap of the wand, began to make it sing. Oh, what a song she sang! She is a bowl of gentle love, a love that can enter hearts and oh so softly, with a mother’s tenderness, open them. I knew that she and I could do some wonderful things together for others. Yet, I am not in an acquiring stage in life, I am desiring to be lighter in all aspects, possessions being one.
My friend, Jan's mandala of the heart that I was fortunate enough to sleep under.
The bowl showed me that there are so many hearts yearning to feel. I was searching for an object for the verb feel but stopped…….yes, yearning to feel. We have been so disappointed, disillusioned, disheartened (I never truly understood the truth of that word….dis-heart-ened, before) that we have accepted a life lived in a narrow bandwidth of emotion. We no longer expect to experience great love. We put up barriers to prevent the experience of great sorrow. We numb ourselves to the beauty of this world, fearing its power to captivate us and take us on a journey to depths untold. We play it safe. We cling to our routines and beliefs to prevent any wildness taking hold. We attend meetings and groups that provide checklists of how to structure our day. We take our medicine to even out our emotions, we read the latest info about which foods are safe, which activities will put off dementia, which product will give us youth. Why do we wish to prolong this small safe life? We become so caught up in the rules of it, that we forget the reason for doing it. Why do you want to live longer? Answer that in the quiet of your heart. For me it can only be to love more fully and to serve as an instrument of that love.
The mother of the world, by artist Nicholas Roerich, her veil allowing her to see the truth of all of us.
Love is not safe. It is not routine. It has no rules that it abides by. It moves like the wind and can blow through your life with the force of a hurricane as well as the gentlest of breezes. It can caress, it can destroy. In the destruction are birthed the seeds of the new. I no longer wish to live in the world that I grew in. I spit out the milk toast manner of living…..I plunge the depths and heights for all that life offers me in each moment. I am a creator being and it is time to create anew. I desire deep connection with all life. I open myself fully to my role in birthing this reality. I open my heart to dream BIG, to claim my right to be a play a role in the greatest love story ever told. I will be the Magdalene meeting her Yeshua at the well, I will be Kali consuming the dross of the world, I will be Mother Mary, holding the Christ in her womb. I will be the Christ shining his/her light in this world. Yes, I claim myself as a exquisitely cut facet of the diamond of my Mother/Father’s heart.
All of this comes to us through experiencing of the full spectrum of emotion; raging with anger’s bright fire, sobbing with broken hearts, laughing with the absurdity of life, being overcome by beauty’s bright light. In the fullness of the emotion, lies the treasure waiting to be unwrapped. The moments then become notes in the most sublime symphony. It requires us to retune our ears, to open new chambers in the heart, to allow our fingers to feel the bee’s sting and the velvety softness of a kitten’s ear. To taste the bitter and the sweet. By tuning ourselves to a richer frequency, moving from AM to FM on our dial of life, we truly begin to live. Each fear that arises, we face full on. It becomes a game as we laugh at what comes calling. Death holds no fear for me as it is simply another doorway to my Mother/Father’s heart. Why would I fear that? I want only to serve that fire, whether from this side of the veil or the other, it matters not. I accept the gift that this life is. I accept my forgetting in moments and my knowing that grows stronger by the day.
Do we want to live our whole lives curled tight, afraid to let our beauty unfurl?
As I live in this richness, my life becomes simpler, more peace filled, sweeter. Place matters less, as I am tuned to the beauty in everything. This amazes me. The colors are more vibrant, the sounds softer to me ear. I can hear the neighborhood lawn mowers and the birds’ songs as different expressions of the same note. I am wowed by this. I beam my smile at one with a hardened expression and marvel to see the beauty I know, reveal itself in an answering abashed smile in return. We have grown shy of letting our light out. Of letting anyone see our truth. Fearing that in that smile, something might be taken from us. Oh, we have become a timid race, keeping to someone else’s construct, allowing our power to be taken with barely a murmur. Thank goodness, this reality is crumbling and we are donning our mantles of power once more.
Come take a seat with me to observe the magic and the mystery!
Back to my bowl……I could feel how she wanted to work with me to open hearts. To bring folks back to the remembrance of their own beauty and light. I thanked her and left the store and went to commune with my favorite mountain once again. The next morning, I was taken aback to discover that I had indeed created something with my heart. The pink bowl was in my heart! She told me that I am to use my eyes to stream the presence of our Mother/Father’s heart while I use my voice to play her song into hearts desiring this opening. Oh! This is the heart whispering that I was told months ago, I was to do. I open myself as a channel for this love to flow through. I hold the perfection of the person’s heart, the immaculate concept that Mother Mary trained me in all those lifetimes ago, and step back and witness the streaming of heartlight from our Mother/Father’s heart to the other. LIquidlovelight is a substance so pure, so golden in its hue, it melts all in its path. It is the alchemist’s tool gifted to me for use. A shudder of wonder as I take this in.
Each of our pieces is needed to make make the pathway whole so that we can walk with ease home.
I invite you to step into your heart today, look around and discover where your power lies. Open to its gifts and shine them out to the world, hungry to know you. Without your light shining bright, a piece of the puzzle is missing. I am so ready to view the whole scene! Please lay your puzzle piece on the table, fitted in with the others so that the picture can take form. There is no other who can add your piece. You are the only one who knows what it looks like and where it fits in the picture. Perhaps you think that you are only a part of the sky and so will not be missed. But the sky has a hole in it where you belong. You are needed, for in you, the whole of creation resides. Trust this, know this. You are loved beyond our human understanding of that word.
I love you.