Nights of Little Sleep as the Energies Flow

Red poppies and a white picket fence....joyful combo.

Red poppies and a white picket fence….joyful combo.

Yesterday was the new moon and the energies ran through me like a waterfall. Days like that mean chugging water and peeing dozens of time. Awake till the wee hours….the mind asking what is the cause. The body simply being in that suspended awake state which has no antidote. I realized that I still revert to the “what have I done wrong?” train of thought. It was eye opening to me how programmed we are to look first and foremost to ourselves to assign blame. I went through a list….last meal at 5 pm so not that; no chocolate that day so not that; no caffeine that day either so not that; long walk and back exercises done so not that… Ok, I was simply awake through no particular reason that I could pinpoint. It was the energy flowing in and that was it.

Love reflected all around us.

Love reflected all around us.

I was grateful for this night’s example as it allowed me to let myself completely off the hook no matter if I had eaten chocolate or toast at midnight or laid on the couch all day. None of it makes a difference when I am kept awake. It simply is. Ah….I thought I was past the blame self game yet there it was in all of its stern mind loops.

I have days when it is easy to do my intermittent fasting, eat loads of greens, exercise followed by days where none of that is reachable. I am simply carried on a current that allows no structure of my mind to exist. Willpower, which used to be my tool to get through my days, gritted teeth and all, fled a decade or so ago. The best of me drives the show in this body and my only job is to trust it. Trust so completely in the unfolding of life around me. Embrace it all with an open heart and a backseat view. Knowing deep in my heart, that I am so loved by me, so cherished for the love light that I am, that everything conspires to move me closer to that flame of love.

There is a huge wave of awakening sweeping the planet. So many are facing health crisis, relationship crisis, crippling depression and anxiety. The light forces the shadow out to be seen and felt. Our bodies are showing us lifetimes of pain and suffering. It is such a trust walk in the world today. To allow all to surface and to welcome it all. The good, bad and ugly are all there to be seen, to be felt, to be experienced and to be let go. Surrender and trust the bywords for this time. 

My grandson's carrot friend that he added clove eyes too.

My grandson’s carrot friend that he added clove eyes too.

The flip side is the amazing joy and sense of excitement that you can feel rising from our mother earth. Oh! It can be giddy to feel it swirling about you. Dancing joy! I am so fortunate to have time with my three year old grandson most days. He expresses these energies so purely, it is humbling to witness. Yesterday as we sat by the pool eating our snacks he said, ” Nana, we have a good life!” Yes, we do. He named the birds singing in the yard, our gorgeous garden giving us big juicy strawberries and salad greens and beets and carrots and all kinds of flowers and herbs. The crystal clear salt water pool, his swing in the tree, the hot tub for cool evening soaks, his bike to race around…so much abundance. He dances about singing, “I am happy! I am so happy!”

The bees love to dive in to our saucer sized purple poppies.

The bees love to dive in to our saucer sized purple poppies.

He shows me a new way of thinking that is beyond duality. He expresses appreciation for all things. I was pushing him on the swing and he thanked me along with the tree with its strong branch to support the swing, his grandpa for putting it up, his mom for buying it for him. He sees the interconnectedness of all things. When he saw his grandpa set a rat trap in the shed that caught and killed a rat, he played that he was a rat for a time afterwards. He gives the rat new ways to escape, offers alternative endings and got books out of the library to understand rats and their place in the world. He loves them as well as understands that everything has a place to be.  He expresses his sadness with quick tears  and finding a lap for comfort. Tears and laughter flow with equal ease…all part of the whole of this journey.

We are moving into something so expansive and new, it feels like champagne bubbles in my cells. Other times, there is only the flatness of a day old bottle with its fizz gone. Yet the memory of the bubbly feeling does not depart. We are so ready to live it all, to embrace new ways of connecting and sharing. I am so grateful to be here right now and have a seat at this grand turning of the age. How blessed we are.

Solstice Soaring In

Mount Shasta beguiling always.

Mount Shasta beguiling always.

I just awoke with an intense feeling of appreciation for my life. I thanked the Creator for this life, thanked my beloved for the loving support that melts my heart, thanked my angels and all the light beings who surround me in each moment, thanked my heart for expanding each day in its capacity to love, thanked this body elemental which has been such an amazing trooper through all the changes and challenges of this ascension journey. I thanked the birds singing a greeting to the dawn outside my window, thanked the breeze for flowing over me with its pine scented freshness, thanked the creek below the house whose motion charges the air with enlivening vibrations, thanked Mount Shasta for her presence which calms and strengthens me, thanked this dawn for its stillness and pink cloud beauty. I thanked this computer and wifi connection that allows me to lie here and connect to the world. Everything is a blessing on this day of days.

It has been amazing to witness the emptying and infilling of my cellular structure. Last week there was a day that I awoke at 3 a.m. with my heart radiating intense pain. Oh, deep breath as the dream played itself through my being. It was full of pain from this lifetime, of the years that I experimented with victim consciousness and martyrdom. Ouch! It flowed through with a red hot heat. I blessed it for all the learning that it had given me, surrounded it in violet flame and let it move through me. I went out and stood on the ground and looked up at the stars to let their energy infill me.

liquidlovelight streaming

liquidlovelight streaming

It has been a time of releasing to make room for the blessings that we are being  showered with by all that is Love. It has been a dreamy, expanded experience for me. Floating through these days, long naps needed, not much appetite as the swirls of nausea move about. I could not look to the future without encountering bouts of nausea. I am moving from Mount Shasta in a couple of days. I could not get a handle on anything but the departure date. Tentative plans to camp, travel with others that spiraled about me, finding no landing strip. Planning has not been part of my life these past years as I moved into the flow and allowed Sophia, my I AM presence, to guide me. Now there is no separation, as more and more aspects are grounded in this body.

I could see a window open over Yellowstone and the Grand Teton area. I knew this was important, the completing of the past two summers weaving. I asked for assistance to step into the window, make the necessary plans as I am traveling with another. Her intention had been to head to Colorado with me and fly back as I continued my travels to Wyoming and Montana. As I viewed it, it would dissolve into that swirling spiral that made me ill. Later in the day, map in hand, I saw an arc light up from her home on the California/Oregon border to Yellowstone. Oh! We are to go there together and take the northern route. She said yes when she heard the new plan. The arc north and return south felt smooth and fluid. I was even able to get a reservation for the 4th of July in Yellowstone! I spoke with my elder son later that day and discovered that he would be in Yosemite that weekend. We laughed at the perfection as I for days I found myself saying Yosemite when I was thinking, Yellowstone. The line of connection is significant as our triad will be working together with the mountain ranges and underground systems. The dates are important also. Timing is crucial and I know that we will all hit our marks beautifully., dog, water....

Summer…kids, dog, water….

The summer of love! It is here and we are all being changed in new and wondrous ways. Our earth is beginning to shimmer with new energies and our cells are responding. It is time to allow the dreaminess, to rest in nature and let her fill us. I feel a strength pouring in, my body receiving the elixir of love from the earth that flows upward to meet the Creator’s love streaming in. The heart, the meeting place, a cauldron of fire. I go within to merge with this flame. Liquidlovelight ablaze. It feeds me, nourishes me, comforts me, inspires me. We are blessed.

Savor every moment! We will not pass this way again. All is changing. We are being offered freedom on an unimaginable scale. The 4th of July will proclaim much more than this country’s independence. It will be a claiming of our freedom from all the programming of old as well as a claiming of our birthright as creator beings to live in a world of peace and love. Hallelujah!

Soft Waves of Joy

IMG_0131I awoke in the wee hours as dawn was lighting the sky. There was a layer of snow on the rooftops outside my second story window. It must have turned cold in the night. I drifted back to sleep. Yesterday I had made it out to get a library card, as I love accessing the library where I am. I stopped to buy food to make veggie burritos, went through the check out lane, then surprised myself by heading to the deli for a sandwich as an immediate need for food arose. I ate till the sense of fullness sated me and went down for a few hours nap. I often feel urgency in my need for food, rest, movement. I could actually feel greater aspects of myself, getting my body into bed, safely tucked in, so as to allow myself to be on time for council meetings and creative endeavors in other dimensional spaces. The fullness in the belly allowed the long sleep necessary, just as we did for our babies, before a nap. We are being looked after like infants, my higher self, the caring parent.

IMG_9749This morning I desired a chocolate croissant and a coffee. There were other things I desired to do in town… a haircut is needed, veggies for a soup…but I can only do one thing at a time at present. No multi-tasking for this woman and I used to be great at it. So, drove into town, got my warm chocolate croissant and coffee, stopped along the road to commune with the mountain in her misty robe, came back and sat in the sun, savoring every bite and drink as well as the smells and sights about me. Pine trees wafting their fragrance, tulips so perky and bright even after being covered for a day in a blanket of snow, watched a bluejay squawking……he lifted his wings in the air with every squawk. Quite a morning workout!

I am savoring this dreamtime. We are transforming into more and more of our true beings. It is quite a process, we will not pass this way again. I feel such tenderness for this being, Linda Marie. I watched a short video (Facebook brings many things into my world) made by the Dove soap company. They targeted a few big cities around the world, put up signs at the entrance to someplace that in the video only women entered. Above one entrance was the word, beautiful, above the other, average. They had hidden cameras to watch women as they chose which door to enter. Most entered the average door though in interviews many women spoke of how they wanted to know themselves as beautiful and feel it enough to enter the beautiful door. It was so powerful to watch as women struggled to access that thought of their own beauty. I was in tears. The conditioning has been so strong and relentless to feel less than, to feel small and powerless, to assign positive attributes to others but not self.

IMG_9690I am dreaming a world where all would enter the beautiful doorway, as we would each know on a cellular level, that we are beautiful. To know our blossoming, to feel the beauty arise in a continuous circuit within, to have it reflected in the eyes and words and actions of others about us.

Let us see the tender shoots of each one’s growth, open to the remembrance of our magnificence, catch the starlight shining forth from our eyes. It never was about the outer form. We each choose our form as the perfect expression for what we came here to do. These dear bodies serve us well. All the rules and ideas about what beauty and health is, are imposed upon us. It is time to look inside and read the writings of our own history in the cosmos. We are masters, come to play on and with this beautiful planet.

I spoke with my eldest son, who often feels the weight of the world. He was feeling joy. He said a smile kept arising on his face that threatened to lift him off his feet! My heart sang with his joy. In this moment, it wafts through me in a smile as I listen to a rendition of Alleluia and sew buttons onto my comforter cover. Simple pleasures that fill me with satisfaction. The idea had been there for weeks as the down comforter spilled out from its cover and now the moment of joy in the repair, was present.

IMG_0133As I move about in my slumber, I trust fully in this process. Knowing that my time of activity and passion will come again, in its perfect moment. Trusting the fertile nature of this time and that I will live to see and experience its fruition. Even in that, no attachment either way as I am grateful to live this now moment and offer what is mine to do. I am seeing more about me, embodying their gifts, letting go of what no longer serves. We are growing in leaps and bounds. What wonderful beings we are. Feeling your beauty and my own with a grateful heart. Alleluia.


imageI have been floating in the sea of emptiness. A new space where I witness my mind searching for tethers, whether to others, to place, to memories. There are none. The thought arises but there is no sticking point, nothing to adhere to. It is as if there has been a complete disconnect from all that is or has been. I sense it is a necessary step before we are connected into the new grid of oneness. It is not unpleasant, no positive or negative charge. Being with what is, has become easier. Dropping into my heart, connecting to Source, is the only space left. I can be there yet I am not floating in waves of bliss or love. Rather, I am being with this emptiness and it is enough. I am not seeking more, not seeking to move from this space. I am here, in neutral. It is enough to be here.

Called to the ocean and the redwoods for my work, communing with their vastness and ancient wisdom.

Called to the ocean and the redwoods for my work, communing with their vastness and ancient wisdom.

In this space of emptiness, time is ephemeral. I have to concentrate to place myself in a month, a season. Again, attaching to anything no longer works. I receive imprints of energy that I translate into my work. I have been working on my latest assignment. A friend is here from Scotland and we have been working together as well as with others. I was a bit surprised to find myself on another “undercover” operation as I had thought that time was past. Yet there is so much taking place in this period between the solar and lunar eclipses and there are still errant energies swirling to deter and distract. The resurrection energies of Easter are so very present as the opportunity for embodying Christ consciousness is here. I know I am in my perfect place as I work to complete this week’s solo assignment. (there truly is no solo assignment as many in other realms assist me). A group was together to celebrate the birthday of one dear to me. As much as I would have liked to join in, I knew where I was called to be. I was shown there would be no difference between night and day, so I was prepared for the deep sleeps in the day and the awake states in the night. My body can feel drugged as I am laid flat in bed, suspended in that semi-conscious state where much can be accomplished. I am learning to feel into the energy of my body, to become the swirling particles that can flow and dance with form. This has been a high alert time, all hands on deck, for the highest outcome for the greatest good for all. We are all working to bring this about.

The sunlight, a spotlight for these fragile beauties rising from the dark forest floor.

The sunlight, a spotlight for these fragile beauties rising from the dark forest floor.

I feel the privilege of being embodied now and offering myself in service to our Mother Earth and the Creator. I am aware that I embodied so as to be present in this now and to do what I am doing. Everything else falls away as I devote myself to this task in gratitude. It takes all that I have. I saw myself as a pile of dust at the end date I was given. I feel ok with that. It seems we came to use our bodies up, to utilize every ounce of our being in this now. There is nothing to hold back for, this is the moment. I will have no regrets that I stepped back, kept something in reserve for the future. There truly is only now. To show up with all of ourselves in every moment, to have our hearts wide open, to feel everything that flows through, to respond to our internal waves of knowing…. this is the path I choose.

These truly are holy days. That life so many of us walked with our brother and our sister, Jesus and Mary Magdalene, over two thousand years ago, is present. We are asked to walk it now, owning our mastery. Bringing forth the teachings of love anew, facing the crucifixion and living the resurrection flame. Our wisdom of myriad lifetimes flows forth to assist us as do the masters of the ages. ETs, Galactics, Agarthans, Devas, elementals, ascended masters, angels, the earth herself, all are here offering their all in service to the Creator. We are a part of a pageant of epic proportions and we are the stars of the show. Amazing. Kind of takes your breath away when you feel it.

imageA candle flame keeps me company through the night. Soon dawn will splash her pink hues across the mountain face. Spring is showering me in her petals of light, allowing me to drink deep of her scents and be nourished by her warming beauty. My heart bows down in gratitude.

Birthing the New

IMG_6851I am coming up for air from the dreamy, depths that have pulled me in. I traveled far and wide on swift currents that held me in their embrace. It has been a journey of weaving liquidlovelight in patterns that unfolded as I swam in the crystalline waters. The tone has been sounded for the new to commence. It begins within our own depths, as the swirling action gifted us by the solar winds, the planetary bodies and heavenly hosts, works to bring all our muddy aspects to the surface to be cleared. What a blessing! Each responsible for our own ocean of light. Once clear, we can ask to swim in the collective soup, allowing our light to permeate and penetrate the dense particles, loving them back into the lovelight that they are. When I am thus engaged, there is no part of me available for reflection as all is used in service to the light.

IMG_6854 On one of my daily walks by the river, a newly born fawn, stepped into my path. I could not see the mother for a time, as she was lying down, recovering from her ordeal as her little one tried out her legs. Her fur was sticky and curled from her mother’s tongue washing the afterbirth away. I instinctively knelt down, as you do for a child, and she came mewing to nuzzle against me. It was a blessed encounter. I pulled some foxtail weeds that had become stuck in her coat as she repeatedly fell in the grass. Her mom and I exchanged words of delight in this new life. The fawn followed me as I began to walk away, falling flat on all fours as her spindly legs faltered. I stayed with her for a time, finally walking into the grasses to get her off the path. She lay down as I marveled at how perfectly her coat was colored to blend in with her surroundings. Only her black nose spoke to where she was. I spoke to the mother in gratitude for her sharing of her little one with me knowing that I had been gifted with a sign of the new energies arrival in my life.

falling flat

falling flat

I looked up deer totem and took the parts that resonated for me.

A new innocence and freshness in about to be awakened. New adventures are just around the corner. Maybe the most effective way to summarize the lessons of these beliefs, is to say that only when we move through life in the spirit of love for all beings can we melt the barriers that separate us from others, from other life forms, and from the beautiful mystery which is our own magical and spiritual gift.” by Ina Woolcott

My thirty year life cycle of personal mothering has come to its end, my daughter flies off in a few days to begin new life on many levels. Mary Magdalene and the divine mothers came through to bless her and move with her. The lineage flows free. I am freed to expand into the universal aspect of myself that has awaited me. The timing is perfect as the firmament prepares to receive the new frequencies of liquidlovelight that are streaming in. This solstice is opening gateways and portals, long closed, as we take a giant leap in our evolutionary game.

IMG_6843I am being called once again to move with the slyphs of the air, to follow where they lead. My direction has been given, my trusty ally, dear Maxie (my nineteen year old car) has been given a tune up and the all clear by my mechanic. A few days of solitude will be given for me to center myself, gather and pack my camping gear and a bag of clothes and let go of any extras that I have accumulated in this year of settledness. The open road offers freedom as well as bringing to the surface some anxiety of the years spent in constant motion as I wove patterns of light across the USA and Canada. Those years were hard on my body, emotional as well as physical. I sense that this journey will be different, one of more ease and grace. I am so grateful for the knowing that has grown within, for the absolute trust I have in myself and the universe at large. I sense it is short term, this car traveling. A time to touch in and co-create with other members of my lovepod who are calling to me. The communities are preparing to be born. Our heart’s desires are about to come into fruition as the summer sun expands them into ripeness. Juiciness approaches. I have been stripped naked, allowing the light of our father sun to permeate my very core.

Gratitude dances me as my heart’s fire propels me. All is well. It is time and I am ready to play my part. Thank you for playing yours. We are love.

Backing Away

Arranging flowers can light me up, each passing bringing me a hit of beauty.

Arranging flowers can light me up, each passing bringing me a hit of beauty.

Feels like a veil is ready to be lifted for us all with this Wesak Full Moon coming in. I went to sleep with intense head pressure and awoke throughout the night with it. Just had a cup of  coffee to see if I could find some relief. Toast to settle my stomach, caffeine for my head.

Yesterday I was thinking of a dear friend’s tattoo, “back away”. She got it as part of a poetry project and I wondered at it. Today I see it so fit my state, withdrawing from the world. This energy is familiar to me and is what makes me wonder how fit I am to share space with others. Thank goodness for my family who get it and allow me my space with full honoring. As I contemplate moving I wonder at how suited I am to sharing space. I do so love the movement and energy that being with others brings. Living alone, there is no movement unless you invite it in or move out to create it. Here, I can lie in bed and enjoy the laughter of my two adult children, hear the soft knock on my door and an appetizing plate of yumminess is presented for my enjoyment, listen to my son playing his guitar and singing a love song, errands are run for me if needed. So caring and supportive. I have to remind myself that there is no moving to less. That this phase of life is about adding unto rather than subtracting from. We have lived the hardship and struggle. I intend ease and grace in all my days from this point. I slip into the stream of love that is ever present, that holds my highest potential and allow myself to be carried. My mind needs reminders of this, that she is not in charge and that she can relish the release of responsibility rather than fight it.

Our family had planned a summer party and sent out invites. As we spent time talking the other day, we realized that the majority of us did not feel up for it. We were desiring more intimate conversations than that atmosphere provides. The time remaining to us as a family group is only a couple of weeks. We wanted to spend that time together. We decided to cancel. One view was that we were being irresponsible but I chose the thought that we were allowing others to see us being authentic in the moment, able to change directions so as to fit the needs of who we are in this moment. Allowing others to make that choice in their lives.

One of my clay figures pondering, "Who is she?"

One of my clay figures pondering, “Who is she?”

It has been interesting to note how we can hold two dissimilar emotions at the same time now. I can feel flat, innervated, and also this bubbling excitement. Totally detached from any desire on the physical front and yet full to bursting with the lovelight pouring in and the beauty of the world being birthed. Irritible and grateful, bored and engaged, withdrawn and reaching out. We are such complex beings, full of contradictions and layers of being. It feels like a softening is happening as we allow one another and ourselves to paint with a wider spectrum of colors.

This day opens to me. My body is standing straighter, back still carrying a band of stiffness across it. Heat rising outside, water glimmering in the sunlight. I am free to move out into it. How blessed I am in this freedom. I am breathing in lungfuls of this freedom. Feeling some creativity arising. Thankful I AM.

Part of my Mother's Day bouquet from my daughter who allowed me to play the mom in this lifetime.

Part of my Mother’s Day bouquet from my daughter who allowed me to play the mom in this lifetime.

I offer a bow to my friend and her “back away”, understanding on a deeper level that by allowing myself to back away from everything, I allow the next moment’s engagement. All part of the ebb and flow, the in and out. Yesterday’s backing away where I could not talk to anyone, could not engage at all, allows today’s engagement in a fuller tone. All part of the whole, one not of more value than the other. All necessary as we learn to be present to all of life. Yesterday I was the petal falling off the flower to nestle in the earth, today I am the gentle unfurling, the softest pink being exposed. I am in love with life.

Opening the Package of Each Day With Wonder

On my recent walk, I was greeted at every turn of the path by a deer. Some walked right up to within a couple of feet of me. I felt humbled by their gentle love.

On my recent walk, I was greeted at every turn of the path by a deer. Some walked right up to within a couple of feet of me. I felt humbled by their gentle love.

A week into this beautiful month of November whose energies are gifting us with more of our truth and beauty, and my heart is unfurling its petals.  Each morning, as I lie in my bed singing out a good morning to the beings who surround me, I tune in to our mother earth to hear the “weather report” for the day. Her mother’s heart is glad as more souls have begun to open their petals to the light of love. I feel the echoes of her joy. The days appear as beautifully wrapped packages, and there is a sense of wonder as to what I will find inside. I know that everything has been chosen specifically for me, each moment filled and orchestrated for my benefit! And yours. Each of us receiving the exact formula of light that enables us to open the next doorway. It may come in a plain brown wrapper, holding moments of quiet pain. It may be splashy and loud as one dear to our heart enters the stage to play. Know that each moment holds a key that opens the doorway to grace and peace. A friend calls with a threatening diagnosis, and in the hearing of the words, there is a space that offers peace from which to respond.  My son points out his favorite bird as it flits and dips in and out of the pool, washing itself in the morning light…..offering a space to savor the communion of our hearts with the bird’s and send that note to all. The empty house today offers an open palette, waiting for me to choose the colors. An event is taking place today where an old love is present and my heart fills with a bittersweet pain as I witness part of me wanting to be there. I am called to be tender with myself while this memory washes through, asking for grace to wash me clean.

I felt at one with this log and leaves, nestled together, sinking into the mother in a timeless dance.

I felt at one with this log and leaves, nestled together, sinking into the mother in a timeless dance.

I am learning the art of self care. In the past couple of months I have had biweekly massages, as a gift to this body for all her care of me. It has allowed me to more fully inhabit my body with gratitude for her strength and health. This last massage was on a different level all together. As I lay face down, I felt all the silt in my mind and being, slowly settle into my solar plexus then drain into the earth. I felt myself one with the autumn leaves, lying on the forest floor, returning to the embrace of the mother. I envisioned the violet flame transforming my decay into gold for my mother. She sent up a shot of that elixir that spread throughout my being. I felt my light body above me, raining liquidlovelight into all of my pores. Emptied and filled, over and over. I could hardly speak, with the wonder of it.

A gift for the faeries that I left with the heart rock and acorns I picked up on my walk.

A gift for the faeries that I left with the heart rock and acorns I picked up on my walk.

My sister called to say that she felt the truth of the magnifying glass of the sun burning away all of our warts of pain (my last post). She related how formally, in the resolution of an argument, when peace had been reestablished, there remained behind a nugget of pain in the heart. Now she finds the nuggets are gone with the argument, as our hearts have lost their hiding places. The sun is washing our hearts clean, leaving them open and alive rather than burdened with heavy nuggets of old pain. This is the gift of now as so many old memories surface to be fully felt and acknowledged. Once seen, they are free to depart and we reclaim more of the landscape of our heart. We were conditioned to live in the tiniest of spaces with walls those nuggets built, all about us. Now we are stalwart pioneers, clearing our land so as to dance in fields of flowers under open sky.

Our bodies are asking for this clearing also, as many can attest, with symptoms of increased pain as stored energy releases. A friend is dealing with a painful inflammatory condition. With courage and resolution, he has made radical changes to his diet and lifestyle. In his research, he has found differing opinions as to which foods are inflammatory. Who to believe? His mind struggles with this as his body awaits his attunement to himself and his own expert truth. We are taught to follow the advice of “experts” and yet, I AM the expert on this body as you are of yours. Our bodies know what they need for health. They will offer pain to slow us down, to get our attention and move us more fully into our hearts. Our cells hold memories that ask to see the light of day and then depart like the decomposing leaves. I honor my body as my wisdom keeper and I bow to her knowing in full trust.

The sun and clouds shooting their lovelight to me.

The sun and clouds streaming their lovelight to me.

The garbage collectors have just taken away the pile of debris that we have cleared from the property. Earlier a load was dropped at Goodwill and gallons of old paint were taken to a paint store to be recycled. All the clearing of the last couple of weeks, has left me clear and spacious, mirroring on the outer, the inner process. Tuning in, my body is asking  for a gentle walk and stretch rather than the bright, sharp dose of exercise it desired yesterday. Creativity is calling as my newest beloved painting awaits its beads of beauty. A friend pops in my heart and I feel a phone call happening. I move into this day with gratitude to myself for bringing me all that I need. I breathe in the knowing that I am in my perfect place, singing my tone of love. I know each moment will arrange itself in the perfect timing. I breathe that knowing through me and to you as we surrender to the flow of grace that is pouring in. Let us open our hands and hearts to receive this lovelight.

The Art of the Pause

A soul collage card I made that expresses the opening to this well of peace.

A soul collage card I made that expresses the opening to this well of peace. Do you see the face that is looking deep inside? It appeared when i flipped the image over.

I am learning the art of the pause. In the old energies of duality, we reacted with either/or to situations. We labeled things; good/bad, wonderful/awful, like/dislike. I am learning to pause, to allow a range of new possibilities to arise. I have discovered a deep well of peace that I can drink from in any moment. I can go to this well and pull up all manner of responses that are expansions of the original energy. I am finding this change in myself  liberating. Instead of my old habit of reaching out when I faced with discomfort, I go inside. I go quiet and still. I allow the energy space. This allows movement. As it comes from within, there is a strengthening of my core, of my knowing. Each experience, leaves me stronger in my trust of self, my trust in my own divinity to light the way forward. I spent years seeking others’ advice on the who or what of me. There was a certain thrill in hearing about myself.  That pales to the knowing that floods me as my own mastery arises to meet any situation.

 I am learning to allow others this pause. To not jump in with my powerful creative self that immediately seizes upon ten ideas to shift the situation. Rather to offer a field of possibilities that emanates as love, as I listen with a quiet heart, giving time for each to find their own answers. This new me, listens and reflects love. I find this applies to knowing when to answer a phone call or respond to a message. My heart is informing me when it is better to wait before responding, allowing the person to move through their own process and discover their own knowing unaided. I want to witness others discovering their own truth rather than keep them returning to me for support. As I step more fully into embodying peace, I am called more frequently into this heart listening with others. I am letting go of holding someone’s hand to being more of a field of reflection of their own truth. I have found myself moving away when someone wants continuous feeding as they chose to stay in a place of discontent and complaining energies. (I know this territory as I lived in it until I grew tired of my own story). My discernment is showing me when it is important to be present as the person is ripe for a shift and asks only to be witnessed in it. This is the gift we offer to one another when we arrive at shift points, the gift of presence.  I am shown as well, when my energy is better used in stillness as I connect to the collective field rather than an individual. I can feel more clearly where the greatest good for myself and all lies.

This maidenhair fern found a home in a favorite pot. It is part of my well, nourishing my soul.

This maidenhair fern found a home in a favorite pot. It is part of my well, nourishing my soul.

I am learning the importance of boundaries. I do not draw from the well for others when I am in the process of filling my own bucket. When I am full, the art of presence is available to others and flows from me with joy. When I am empty, giving comes with a cost that I no longer am willing to pay in any area of my life. I chose to sit in my messy bedroom until the energy flows with joy to do the cleaning. I rest when my body calls for sleep without regard to time of day. I am honoring the wisdom of my body, of my feelings, of my heart. We can each step into this by choosing to do only that which is necessary and supportive of our beings. The more I simplify my life, the easier it is. I live a very small life in many ways. This has been exactly what I have required in order to discover this well of peace. My days flow in solitude and stillness with occasional bursts of activity and communication. I move with the expansion/contraction waves in a fluid rhythm where once I pushed and pulled at life. I allow myself to experience the benefits of the current carrying me forward. I emanate a field of gratitude with each breath. I was born to this time and my heart sings its tune of joy. No more waiting, no more yearning, no more expectations. Meeting all that arises in my world, with a peaceful and open heart. Thus we create that world of peace and love. We are that powerful!




Oct 22….what did we create?

This blue springs was one of the wonders I found in New Zealand. Its color hinted at the new colors that are to arrive with our new earth.

Yesterday was a day of intent. A day that lightworkers around the planet, accepted our roles as creator beings. We filled the grid with our heart’s desires and lived our day as if they were already manifest. I did not know what that would look like for me but set my intention to awaken with the knowing of the new earth within my being.

I had a very peace filled day with long stretches of sleep. It seemed that it was easier for my soul to express its vision from the other side of the veil as slumber took me deep.  I listened to meditations and music that kept me in a place of peace. I was alone for much of the day. At one point I responded to a text to join a couple of friends for a walk. That felt inviting so I went but once I arrived, I knew that the stillness was my place for the day, not being with others. One of the folks was someone that I had not met and it was not a day for me to be meeting others. It was a day for me to meet a new aspect of myself. I turned around and returned to the sanctuary of my own heart-space. The friends that remain in my life, are ones who understand this behavior and do not take it personally as it is not personal. It is me following my truth in each moment.

The energies of the day felt soft, peace filled. I could feel the grid lighting up with all the heart light felt and expressed. Happy Earth! Happy me! I experienced an aha moment that put me in a new space of freedom. Oh, it is so wonderful when we shift to a new level of understanding and knowing. I was sitting in the sacred chamber of my heart with my I AM presence, feeling the connection, the love. We merged and enjoyed the feeling of communion. Then El Morya, who wears the name of beloved for me ( I know that this is how my being understands it for now, just as I realize that it is a limited understanding) appeared and sat across from me. We felt our connection and allowed it to strengthen and grow. As we expanded, the chamber dissolved. We were grew in size until we were holding the cosmos between us. I felt our love move from the personal to the impersonal and beyond. I looked to him as love filled my being in this expanded state with wonder. My thoughts flashed to him, “This is what you have known? This love? ”  Immediately, I knew that it was. This was the land that he lived and moved in. A shock wave went through me with the power of this knowing. This was home. We then merged as one being. We contained all and the all contained us. My spirit was whole, together we were one. I knew the devotion and love of our one heart. There was nothing else.  I felt the Creator and allowed myself to be bathed in that radiant love. It was a space I had not felt in this lifetime, a space so rich and full where sound and light spoke all. Words are not of use in this realm as they cannot hold the frequency of the light. I remained in this altered state for most of the remainder of the day. There was nothing nor no one that I wanted. I felt the freedom that I had been gifted with. The knowing that there is no need for anything outside of myself. There is no waiting, no ritual, no event…….the love is a constant. I have only to tune myself to it and allow the knowing to return. I floated through the rest of the day in a state of deep calm and quiet joy.

Today I felt a visual……I have worked to clear all that keeps me limited to the small I.  As I have accepted and loved every experience, every shadow part of myself, I have revealed more of my wholeness. From there, I found the inner balance return of the masculine and feminine of my being. This allowed the sacred marriage that brought me the experience of merging with the “other” to know the truth of oneness. That brought yesterday’s experience of expansion into the knowing of myself as a facet in the diamond heart of the Creator.

The peace pole at Mount Shasta's peace garden, overlighted by Shasta herself.

Every step, one of greater freedom. I feel that a pole of peace has been planted in my heart that reaches to the core of my mother and the height of my father. I feel anchored, cradled in this peace. All the yearning, the seeking, the anxiety, agitation, the right/wrong, on target or not, ………have melted in this love. Naught can stand in its light. Love, four small letters that represent a sound, an explosion of light, an embrace, a bubbling well, an infilling, an out breath……I am grateful for the knowing that fills my heart tonight. I am a keeper of this flame, this rose hued flame of love. I tend it with the greatest of care. I set my intention to live as if the new earth were here and found that indeed it is so. I have come home.

As a final note: I was coming back from my walk/run this morning when the date, popped into my head. The 22nd of October. It felt significant. My birthdate is the 22nd as was my mother’s and father’s. I suddenly felt such love for them, for agreeing to be the ones to give me entrance into this life. Over a quarter a century ago, they chose to disown me rather than face some painful truths. I felt the blessing of this letting go, the freedom that it gave me despite the pain it was cloaked in.  I sensed that their souls knew what I was to do and they willingly played a tough role in order to free me to fully play mine. My gratitude flowed to their hearts and encircled them with love as I felt the enormity of their love for me. Here is the information on a birthdate of 22:

Number 22 is the Spiritual Master Builder and Teacher and has chosen to come back to the earth plane to help the human race.  To do this, he needs to take this energy and help build a better, firmer foundation for the human race in the Aquarian Age.  ( I was born under the sign of Aquarius ) 22 will help to establish the foundation for a new consciousness on the planet.

This is the God energy brought to the material plane and put into form, and this vibration holds with it a great deal of responsibility. The keywords are co-operation and harmony, wherever the vibration is found  —  the opportunity to co-operate with God’s plan on earth.

The square or cube is the symbol of 22.  It is the number that sees the larger picture, but one also who can work with the details necessary to complete that picture.  The vision of the completed project and the energy to see it through is not everyone’s vision, but it is the responsibility of the 22 to bring it through to fruition.  Posted by 

With my newfound freedom, I accept the attendant responsibility. Peace and love to all this night.




Feeling with our Mother

Ice still visible on Lake Windermere

Yesterday we went off to spend some time at a hot springs. The drive through the mountains was beautiful. We took a back road, spotted a hawk sitting on a treetop as we passed, herd of elk and deer at their dinner hour in the fields, ravens about with their loud cry.  We stopped for lunch by a lake and had a wonderful view of an osprey nest on a platform built for that purpose.  Mom and Dad both visited and seemed to be tending something in the nest.

Our lunch time entertainment

We watched as they took turns diving in the nearby pond for fish. What beautiful birds! I loved the way they dropped off the nest and then gracefully opened their wings wide and soared upward. High overhead, two eagles plied the airwaves, doing such an elegant dance that my heart rose up in my chest. It reminded me of that scene in the movie, Avatar, where the lovers are riding huge birds with such speed and delight. Yes, I want to do the eagle dance with my love!

I noticed that something was up with me as my friend and I  split a smoked meat reuben sandwich for lunch. For someone who does not eat much meat, as of late, I have eaten barbecued elk, (delicious!), wild game sausages, and a sirloin burger. My body loved every bite, needing the grounding it gave me. This is one reason I do not define myself by what I eat as my body changes in what she needs day to day. The hot springs had a view of the mountains and the warm waters quickly worked their magic. It was such an enervating effect that we did not stay in very long. We ended the day at a spot by another lake. It was the still time of day, just before the sun sets. All sounds could be heard before the source appeared. We heard this pair of geese long before they came gliding into view to make their soft landing upon the water. A train’s deep rumble hit our ears then quieted as it came into view making its way along the tracks on the other side of the lake. I felt a part of the scene, the mountain reflected in the still surface of the water, the trees standing sentinel on the shore, the rocks under my feet, the cry of the geese. What is my part, I asked of it all.

I have collected so many heart rocks over the years and given so many away. This one wants to stay with me for a time.

To absorb and reflect the beauty and love present. Oh, yes. I can do this. Gathering it all into my heart and sending it out on streams of liquid lovelight. This is part of the alchemical process as we drink in the beauty through our senses and then use our heartlight to magnify and transmit. Oh, what a wonder it all is. Breathe in the peace, breathe it out and use the elementals to amplify it. They love doing this!! Our Mother Earth loves it too. She gifted me with a lovely heart rock on the shore, just the right size to lie on my chest. It told me that it was a keeper, that I am to carry it with me for now. I love the solid feel of it on my chest as I write!

Waves of deep energy running through me during the night. The winds were high, blowing in the window and causing my door to open and shut. I could feel so much running deep down in our mother and me. Again the message to lie still and allow it movement. I did manage to get up for tea and toast and followed the call back to bed. My limbs felt so heavy and I was guided to lie still and let the energy run. Friends emailed about the earthquakes that had taken place deep in the earth in various places. I could feel it in my body. 2pm, I got out of bed to go to my final acupuncturist appointment with the master. He asked me what I wanted his help with now that my body was doing well. That brought up tears. He asked if it was fear of not being able to contain the energy coming in. No, I have faced that fear in the past and truly know that I can expand to accommodate it. No, it was that we are milliseconds away from holding the fullness of our light. Deep breath……everything in me is singing, “The time is now, this is it!!” This makes my heart overflow as it has been such a long journey for us all. With the excitement there is also this deep river running through me of peace, calm, quiet. Two almost opposing emotions all contained herein. He understood and began his magic of connecting needles and points on my body. He told me to watch my mind and see what it had to teach me about being balanced with my spirit and body. I was amazed to see that I love to create fractals of energy in my mind… is busy, moving into ever deepening spirals. This time my body took this mind energy and ran it in waves down through me. I could feel it reach my fingertips and toes and then the Earth energy came up to meet it. I flowed it to her, she absorbed it. She demonstrated co-creation with her as together we can create fractals on her, in her instead of me getting caught in mindloops. OH! So this is how I stay balanced. I love this feeling! The master said to lie and savor this feeling as it was me at my best. Balanced, peaceful, whole.

I love this life. I am so grateful to this man who has helped me to be in my body in a new way and keep my mind and spirit  balanced and at peace. (I saw a Tibetan life where we were siblings playing together in the mountains. I know that soon he will be called to spread his wisdom far and wide and my heart is glad.) We are all so connected. Everyone and everything that shows up in our life has something to tell us, gift us, help us. The eagles showed me the dance of love, soaring apart and then together. The hot mineral water relaxed my being, my heart stone calmed, the mountains spoke of enduring strength. I am well prepared for what lies ahead. I am sated. Hear me oh universe, I am grateful!

Please flow love and violet flame about our Mother Earth this night. Hold her in your hearts as she does her work and ask for ease and grace to be with her.