Fire and Sun Blazing

Tossing a crystal into the ocean with love.

Tossing a crystal into the ocean with love.

Today I awoke with the note of stillness ringing in my ear. A day to savor all about me. First though, I had to go out to drop my car at the garage with my dear mechanic who decides what should or should not be done for my almost 20 year old car. He has his own measure of whether or not a repair is worth it considering her age and miles. I have little say in it. My rear passenger window stopped working. I took it in for repair. It came back not working. Jesse said, “You don’t carry passengers in the backseat, what is the point of spending money to fix that?” He was correct, I rarely carry more than one passenger but was willing to pay to have the window fixed. Jesse vetoed that. He changed the oil and did what he deemed necessary for my safety. He is relieved that I no longer take off for long journeys across the country.  He tracks Maxie’s needs on his computer but amazingly with hundreds upon hundreds of cars coming and going, can recall much of the details with a glance at her.  I accept Jesse’s quirks as he charges fair prices and will always try to lower the cost in any way he can. It is who he is. His garage teems with life as his honesty has earned him a steady clientele. He is always busy.

For the remainder of this day, I have been sitting by the fire, enjoying its warmth while I read a book. As the afternoon came, the sun’s heat drew me outside to sit in her warmth. Its rays are so intense these days that I can only take so much before I must move indoors. Feeling decadent, I sit by the fire with the door and windows open to let the warmth and sunlight in more fully. The house can be chilly despite the warmth found at the doorway. Brilliant blue sky, showcasing the early buds on the trees. The world feels caught in a dream state as the moments float by. An occasional breeze lifts my pink prayer flags and they flutter like a bunch of adolescent girls at a dance. I sink deeply into a space of rest within myself.

Boats in the harbor offering my heart wings, feeling February movement to come.

Boats in the harbor offering my heart wings, feeling February movement to come.

A friend called who said, “We are singing the same song.” A surge of recognition through me, oh my, we share the same soul group or family. No wonder we delight so in one another’s note! She and a few others will gather for some ceremony tomorrow, and today’s stillness is in preparation. We are trained in our society to focus on the action part of a happening and give little thought to the “being” part that proceeds it and lays the groundwork or structure for its unfoldment. My spirit is busy in its prep work and most times before movement, I am pulled into a deep pool of stillness. I honor this part that is mine to do for a group event, the seemingly passive part that underpins the outward expression.

I love lighthouses, teaching me I can emanate my light from a fixed position these days.

I love lighthouses, teaching me I can emanate my light from a fixed position these days.

All feels so close, almost visible as it shimmers at the corner of my sight. The hard work is done, the deep sigh arises. I am aware of savoring these moments as we witness the shift of this age. The age of Aquarius that has been spoken of for decades, is finally upon us in the physical world. I bank the fires of my heart in preparation for the wild passion and movement that is afoot. Horse year indeed! We are about to go from a tentative walk and clumsy trot to a full out gallop. Hang on!

Love Fog

I have been moving in a love fog. That is the expression that has come to me these past days as I move ever so slowly in world of quiet joy. It seems that so much of me is occupied on other planes, leaving this expression of me to be all heart. I truly am seeing through the eyes of love, hearing with the ears of love, feeling with a heart of love, tasting with a palate of love, touching with the mother’s love. Love. It is a pink blanket keeping me warm at night, flowing about me in the day as the most exquisite cape of magenta love. I am bathed in love.

A moment of focusing the elements on my walk to acknowledge the four directions.

The planning mind, the part that used to wonder, the one that felt concern on any level……all gone. Busy elsewhere and I am left with the task of caring for this physical body, which feels like a full time job. Drinking enough, preparing and eating copious amounts of food, napping, peeing, and keeping the environment clear and peaceful. That takes all of my available energy. To even give voice to my desires for mankind, the earth…..takes full concentration and effort. The words no longer matter as I feel that I am my own prayer. Each step, each movement is a call to the angelic kingdom, to the elementals, to the fairies, to our inner earth family and our galactic family, to assist us in birthing this new earth. I manage my call to the Creator to entrain my heart to Hers/His, to allow me to  be love in action, in expression, in stillness. Yes, mostly stillness. I know now that I am a beacon, a frequency place holder, sending my ribbons of liquidlovelight, across the lands. There is no doing involved, other than maintaining this vessel. The being takes everything that I have.

The new earth is being created as I type these words. My visions pull me there for peek previews of what is to come. My knowing grows with each glimpse of the beauty and the joy felt. We have lived so long with our hungry hearts, it is almost beyond belief that they are about to be fed true nourishment. Imagine deep contact with everyone about you. Imagine waking up to a clean slate, a full palate of colors with which to express yourself. Feel the joy of having your dearest hearts all about you to share meals and creation with. Imagine scooping up a little one running by and hearing her/his giggles and laughter. Imagine being rocked to sleep by the beloved, whose heart is a match to your own. Freedom is the overall sense, expansive and filled with pure delight. Love colors everything as it is all love.

Drinking in the lovelight from my nature walk by the river.

I am so grateful to be in a safe and quiet place where I can dream and drift to my heart’s content. I am grateful for this huge tree outside my bedroom window that has yet retained most of its brilliant yellow leaves. I lie here and watch them drift lazily to the ground, and I know myself as them. In late afternoon, if I time my nap just right, it is lit up by the sun’s descent with a brilliance that takes my breath away. Yesterday, as I sat reading in the late autumn sunshine that held enough heat to pull my shirt up to expose my belly roll and have a hat tipped over my eyes, a leaf gently landed on my lap with the softest of sighs. Ahhhhh, a blessing from my dear friend, the maple tree that we planted when we first moved into this house. I accepted the gift with joy and felt myself as the leaf in another dimension, twirling down to land so softly in my mother earth’s heart. Our father sun’s rays are so encoded with love these days that they make me swoon. We are being blasted with lovelight at every turn. Is it any wonder that I walk about in this love fog, this seemingly drunken state of peace and heart heat.

There is no desire pushing me as the knowing of what is almost upon us all, has me in a tupor. I close my eyes and breathe in the lovelight and feel it spread throughout my limbs. There is only this. All is well. Peace is assured. Love will be all we know. I rest in this knowing and radiate it out. All personal desires have dropped away from my field of consciousness in the knowing that I am cared for as the birds in their flights, the flowers in their meadows, the fish in the streams. I am moving in my body with full trust in the myriad ways that I am loved. Knowing that it will be evident in this reality for all to see in a blink of an eye.

Kuan Yin beams her compassionate heartlight to all on this earth. I light the candles to join her in this.

We are in a sacred time, moving to the 12-12-12 portal of light and the 12-21-12 solstice beyond. The Creator asks of us: “What do you want?” Move towards that with every fiber of your being. Let go of anything that is not love. Forgive all and everything. We are asked to drop our stories of who we have thought ourselves to be. I can become the story of love as I view my life through the lens of love. I know everything to have been my own creation to help me reach this moment of knowing myself as love. I bless it all. No past to hold me hostage, to filter my experience of the now. Let go, surrender to the flow of the now moment. Know yourself as enough, more than enough for this moment. That is all there is.

If you knew that within the next two to three week period, your life as  you know it would end, what would you do differently? Do that. Make the phone calls that your heart has been wanting to make, say the words that your highest expression knows as truth, smile at everyone and find your peace with yourself and all others. If they are not in embodiment, no matter. Hold them wrapped in a pink ovoid of light and beam your love to them. They will feel it wherever they are as we are all connected. There are some who have chosen to move from my world, not able to see my heartlight, those I bathe in this pink flame of love and know that their souls receive it. This frees me as I stand sovereign in my own space, filled with love, ribbons of heartlght streaming across the lands. I need no return expression of love from any other to beam my love. We have so misunderstood love, believing it to be a commodity that had a rate of exchange. It is so much more, it simply is. I AM LOVE. No one can change that or lessen that but me. The freedom in this knowing is a heady brew! For one who does not imbibe of alcohol, I am quite a drinker of the liquid love! And I do indeed get drunk on it at times when I open myself fully to my Mother/Father’s love. We are so loved. In every moment, in every way. Everything that comes into our world comes to take us higher in the world of love. Slow down, savor these few precious weeks. Notice everything! See the gift it is and express gratitude. If you cannot see the gift, trust that it is there and ask to be shown. Ask and we do receive. Ask for the world that you wish to live in and begin to live as if it were here. In doing so, we draw it ever closer. As my heart fills with peace, I create peace on earth. As your heart opens in love, love is possible for everyone.

This salmon with its eggs pouring out, gave her all. It matters not where she ended up, it matters that she gave her life to bring her eggs to this spot on the river. We not asked to be perfect, to reach a goal, rather to be love in everything we are.

We live in a win-win universe. All that you do for others, you do for self. All that you do for self, you do for others. We have gotten good at the first and are lagging in the second. If I had a wish for these next weeks, I would wish that each of you cared so tenderly for yourself. That you saw yourself as the Christ child about to be born. That you prepared your heart to receive you. The gift of you!! Cherish your heart as I do. Nurture yourself in any way you can. Indulge yourself with every little treat and joy you can give. Eat the best chocolate that you can buy, lather on a sweet smelling lotion, gift yourself with an afternoon in nature, do only what brings you joy. I can’t you say, I have responsibilities. And yes, you may have. But you can delete all that is not absolutely necessary. Be responsible to your own joy! Truly, you have but a handful of days to live in this old 3D way, savor them. Take the very best that this world has to offer and give it to yourself. Do not wait for another time when it might be more convenient. Seize this time as they are the holy days and will not come our way again. We are being celebrated in all the other realms for our courage, for our strength, for our determination to come into this dense reality and lift it up. Celebrate you!! Walk with your shoulders back knowing a crown is on your head, a robe fastened at your neck, stars circling your wrists and fairies lighting your path. Call in the highest expressions of yourself and sit in wonder at your beauty and light. I see you shining. Please deactivate the voice in your head that says that you are anything but wonderful. Allow only loving thoughts to come to you from you. Please. This is how we birth a new world, one heart at a time. Every dissonance voice you allow time in your head, is a strike for violence. Yes, those harsh words we speak to ourselves about how my belly is too fat, my mind too slow, my personality not pleasing enough……….all contribute to the violence in our world. Speak to yourself as to a lover, a child. Tenderly, with the softest of words and the greatest delight. I promise you, your world will shift in mighty ways and we will together, birth this new golden age of peace. It is the Christmas gifts of all gifts and it is in your hand and mine to make it so. I love you dearly.

My fire on chilly nights reminding me to fan the flame of my heart so that it burns ever bright.

Kali Rages then Flows to Peace

After some wild dancing of RAGE that had Kali alive and well in me, I was able to laugh at how perfectly this small family soul group of mine works! We made sure to include all the elements that we needed for our transformation. We held the whole spectrum of polarity between us and have played it from all sides. Beautiful! Truly awe inspiring.

Last night there was a now rare family dinner scene, four of five present. Reminiscent of a couple of decades of times around the table, allowing unconsciousness more rein.  We sang the family blessing, ate our fresh corn on the cob and relaxed. Former hubby brought in an unconscious piece that triggered me. He has played this role so perfectly for us all and it will be interesting to see what happens now as it feels it was a final clearing for me, so that part will no longer be played.  Dinner ended and he went on his way while the anger simmered and stirred within me. I felt the energies grow and expand as that mother bear arose on her hind feet. Kali came to life within me.


from wikopedia: Kali, also known as Kalika is a Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. Despite her negative connotations, she is not actually the goddess of death, but rather of Time and Change. She is also revered as Bhavatarini (lit. “redeemer of the universe”). Comparatively recent devotional movements largely conceive Kali as a benevolent mother-goddess.

Actually, I love this image of Kali as the rage felt full of death and destruction. I know this rage, it has coursed through my veins many times in this life. Yet, as with all things, we experience them anew with our new understandings. I am clearing collective energies. The other night it was the decree to the universe that I would no longer accept this 3D life, demanded that I be allowed to bring heaven here or return to Source. This was the follow up energy, as I could see all the grace that had been offered each one of us, time and time again to move into the light. How many accept and how others play with those undecided. How much of me has held wide a door. Kali came in to say, No more! Door closed. I will not give one more ounce of my energy to hold the door open for those who impede another’s path with intention, who create an air of confusion around those sitting on the fence so as to siphon off their light, who have made the choice to continue in separation from Source and are intent on taking as many others with them on their path as possible. It stops now.

No more. I asked for it all to come forward, to show its hand, to face my Kali self. And it did come pouring in and my rage consumed it like a fire. I danced and danced to wild, pounding music with lyrics of “no more, no more”. I added my voice in frequencies that had not moved through me in ages. It was hot, it was fiery and it was quick. All that this body could move from the collective, came forth to dance its death dance. I acted as a conductor to move and transmute these energies. My son acted as witness and turned the volume higher as well as found the song for me as he too, has played this role. This was a power filled clearing.

Our sun is the ultimate fire, showering us with his love each day.

I asked for and received the broader view and saw how my former hubby played this role so perfectly for me. I felt the gratitude flow like waves  to his soul. I also gained the recognition that on a personal level, there was to be no more gifting of my energies his way nor to others playing this note. Boundaries are good. There is the love that flows through all and I see it so clearly as ribbons of multi-colored heartlight flowing into and amongst all hearts. I see how he and I adore one another on the soul level. I see how his personality self may now choose to make use of all that he has been given from the family or not. All perfect and no longer mine to tend.

These are the end times. The death of the old and the birth of the new. We are here to create the new world that our heart’s desire and remember from home. The wonder is that it is all so impersonal yet so dear. How each of us plays our part for our soul group to grow and expand the Creator’s experience for ourselves and one another. How quickly the energies run, allowing us to move so much in these final days. We are creating room for the new to stream in in all its glory.

I have had to own all my shadow self in order to allow Kali full rein. As we clear our own containers, we can then offer ourselves in service to the collective. The intensity can be elemental, like lightening moving through the body, yet it is familiar to this elemental woman. I am of the elements. My fiery nature has awaited this time to play. I can call this passion to move in any part of the spectrum, from the darkest depths to the lightest of airs. I used to judge myself harshly for my fiery nature, now I celebrate it in its current form. It is a fire that burns clean whereas before it left a scarred landscape in its wake. Now it consumes all so that not even ashes remain. My trigger knew nothing of my dance on a personality level, yet the souls knew all. I understand the personality is but a container for the energies to move through.

Kali is a creator god that allows the birth of the new. We have been programmed to shy away from  the heat of death and destruction yet Kali must dance her dance to create anew. We are standing at the doorway of the new cycle of the ages and all that has been must come crumpling down. We cannot build the new on the old foundations. All is being taken. I rejoice in her presence and honor her energies of life. Truly it is in dying that we are reborn. Thank you Kali for allowing me to move as you last night. I am so grateful.

The soothing coolness of the waters cascading over me.

I am left marveling at the wonder of me. At the wonder of you. At the beauty and ugliness, the heights of love and depths of despair, that we are capable of. Bring out your shadows, dance them, let the flames consume them. We are being purified and the fire is our friend.

Today the waters cleared me as I swam and showered. Soothing waters to quiet the flames and bring the balance bright. Now to see what the earth and air have for me!!!