Trusting in the Beauty of It All

IMG_1152Glorious cool mornings following hot days here in Northern California. Wearing my robe and slippers and sipping my coffee in a state of peace. I have a bouquet of sunflowers beside me, reminding me to radiate my inner sun. I am just settling back into my cottage space after a couple of weeks away. I went to Michigan to visit my sister. I so enjoyed the wide open vista of her property in the countryside. She had lovely woods on either side and meadows of orange cosmos that she had planted in waving drifts across her property.  So much beauty, she excels at creating beauty.

I was hit with the flu the night before I departed. I knew I was to be flying on 9-11 but had no idea of the endurance required. I was feverish and chilled, and had about a 12 hour odyssey ahead. I was able to connect to the pain so many live with, the harshness of this reality and the endurance and courage it takes to keep going. I felt such love for humanity, for our heart light that blazes forth despite the tight boxes we have had to exist in. I felt the depth of the lies that permeate every facet of our society, including the 9-11 experience, the truth of which has yet to be fully revealed. I was locked in my bubble of illness, breathing and praying my way, moment to moment, hours of sitting with my little throw up bag, grasped tightly to my chest in readiness if my stomach gave in to its urges.

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

The clouds and sunsets have been so magical of late. They nourish me!

Fortunately for me, it was one day of misery whereas for many, it does not end. I knew and could feel the pineal expansion taking place. I feel our organs and digestive systems are being over hauled. I sense we will soon be able to exist and be nourished by sunlight, food being a pleasure we can indulge in but no longer a necessity for our bodies to function. I felt my torso elongate and more light flow within. Fatigue is once again back, needing afternoons and evenings of stillness and quiet to integrate all the lovelight flowing in. Our bodies can go into anxiety as truly we are dying while living. The physical ascension time is here. Our light bodies are coming online more and more. All strange, new and at times, disconcerting. Dream time is becoming more vivid as this reality begins to shift and feel to be the illusion.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees' gift.

Sun dappled road, breathing in the trees’ gift.

It is a time to reach out to one another, to offer reassurance and receive it. It can be a wobbly experience with highs and lows. I felt positively pregnant the other day. Smells were assaulting me, nausea present, irritability and fatigue levels were high. I have not felt so fragile in a long time. Sunshine and warmth outside yet I wanted to stay curled up inside, cocooned in a smaller space. The desire for solitude, rest, quiet, peace is overwhelming. Yet there is chaos abounding. Intensity in the body, the psyche, the emotions. Many at their breaking point and beyond. I know that I am here as a pillar of peace in these times. I can feel the low thrum of my inner being, sending out the “all is well” tone while the surface churns and rumbles.

I trust this process despite feeling stretched wide and thin. We did not know exactly how this transformation into the new era of peace would transpire, but we did know that we would be a part of it. It is a time of massive completions for our souls. We are finishing all the loose ends of our lifetimes on this planet. Wrapping it up, seeking closure with one and all. For me, this is my final lifetime here and I know that I am staying to participate in co-creating the new love pods and systems. I desire to experience the joy of freedom, on what has been a prison planet for so long, and carry that experience forward into new worlds and universes.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

Magnificent rainbow that we watched form on the 9-9 gateway. We are being invited to enter in.

I trust that this is happening as I can feel and sense its completion. It is done. We did it! Now to live each day in the knowing, breathing that into the collective to uplift all as we move through the dismantling and chaos that change brings. Trust yourself, trust in the love. Know that we are always moving to more, not less. More joy, more heartfelt connections with soul family and our mother earth, more radiant health, more freedom, more knowing and truth. Embrace the changes, even in the moments of extreme discomfort as all heralds the new. It is time, We are becoming our true selves.

Be gentle, oh so gentle with yourself. We are birthing ourselves, our I Am presences descending into form. Our bodies are offering themselves as bridges to bring heaven to earth. Honor them. Honor their needs.

A deep bow to each of us for showing up and keeping on. I love us so.



The Aftermath

I love Mount Shasta!

The day after the Solstice, I awoke in my tent to a great fatigue in my body. Wow, it almost felt as if the energies had fried me! I managed to get up to go to the bathroom but returned to lie down. I thought of the juiciness of an orange in my pack but let that thought drop as I felt too tired to peel it. Now that is fatigue! I decided to stay in my tent until the heat of the sun would drive me out. It was a beautiful day but I felt almost too fragile to be out in the elements. As the sun made its warmth felt, I crawled out to contemplate where I could continue to recline without ants swarming over me.

A phone call altered the course of my day as I decided to make the drive to Sacramento for the weekend. A friend had planned on joining me to camp, that fell through, rain and cold were forecast for the weekend, my son was not well and could use some tending and I wanted to make a piece of art as a wedding gift for my nephew and his bride. So, following the flow as the stream twisted and turned, I packed up my camp. I love how easy it is these days to be unattached to the whats, wheres, whys and hows of life! To be fully present with an open heart and tune in to the energies of the moment.

My man, El Morya

The four hour drive flew by, fortunately driving is relaxing for me. I tone and sing and have some of my best meditative times in Maxie. I had purchased a powerful picture of El Morya that I placed on my dash and communed with on the drive.  He might appear stern but I know his heart that is so passionate with God’s will and love. I laughed to remember my second sacred marriage vision where I was stating my readiness and calling for my scepter, my crown and robe. As you can see, these are pretty standard adornments for our ascended master selves! I know this sounds fantastical to many, but I am following my prompting here to share such imagery as it is the truth of who we are that we are growing into. We are being asked to expand into the truth of our beings and believe me, we are beings of great light.

Today was the rest day after my drive. Happy to be in the comfort of a house (thank you former hubby for this safe landing spot) with my son. I have not spent any time out of doors really as the sun felt too intense, the wind a bit too pushy……I did get dressed to attend a women’s group with a friend. On the drive to her house to carpool, I suddenly knew that the energies were too chaotic for me to be out and about. I felt tearful and tired and knew that I needed stillness, comfort and a long nap. My friend understood as what else can we do in these times but respond to the  needs of our bodies that are such amazing beings. We are transforming internally on a scale that would boggle our minds if we could but see it. I am so grateful for how well this dear body handles all that is thrown at her. I was so grateful to be home, to rest, to stare out at the trees and light.

The stillness of the pond from our weekend retreat is still with me.

There will be time in the future where my energy is a steady stream that I can move upon but for now, I flow with its ebbs and currents. To have no fixed agenda, to allow my highest good to present itself each moment, to follow my heart’s promptings and let it stir me to tears as I feel the love enfold me. To dance internally with the diamond of my heart. I am blessed.