imageThis holy days’ season, I gifted myself with my daughter’s presence. We had six glorious days together. Her dad and I took a further step together in creating that crucible of love that every child looks to from the ones who birthed them. Harmony and joy came on the heels of challenge. All part of the mix. Finding our way in the moments, allowing the stumbling as well as the grace. As a family, we are fortunate to have not made a tradition of gifts and shopping, rather good food, board games, cookies, music, movies and the lying around time that offers comfort and rest.

Next week, I am gifting myself with my youngest son’s presence for Christmas week. His new love is flying in to join us. My elder son and his love will be here. We have the tree, lit and decorated and wafting its fragrance in the air. My daughter and I have filled the freezer with the traditional anise seed cut-out Christmas cookies. My elder son joined in the decorating and took it to a new level with his artistry.

Circles of love, one of my son, Gabriel's earlier paintings that graces the living room.

Circles of love, one of my son, Gabriel’s earlier paintings that graces the living room.

My favorite time of day is in the wee hours of the morning…the four a.m. wake-up. The house is slumbering, I add a log to the banked fire, plug in the tree lights and allow the silence to wrap itself about me. I witness the first streaks of light as dawn breaks. My heart fills with the gift of this life. Thought arises how all my children and former hubby are partnered. I am here with myself. I see the growth both ways provide. I did not envision this time of aloneness yet I know how necessary it has been for me. I cherish my time alone, am able to sink in with gratitude to the rich landscape inside. Silence and stillness are comfortable friends that nourish. In their depths, I sense a partner appearing for this next phase, in or out of form. Not attached yet it feels like the next step in my evolution to create a greater chalice to offer to this lovelight. Trusting to it all. Not attached to any outcome. Not knowing where/who/how I will be in this time unfolding. Feeling fully and allowing the flow.

Holy days…Solstice with its promise of the return of life giving, light. Christmas, Dewali, Hanukkah….all celebrating the light. The Christ consciousness returning to the planet as we open our hearts to receive this aspect of ourselves. To see the Christ child in each one, to share the love that makes us all family. The colored lights, the uplifting music proclaiming joy to the world, the quiet times of togetherness, the gathering about the table rich with food….all there to spark our remembering. We are the Christ child, we are the holy ones. We have come to lift a planet and ourselves back to the realms of love.

Emptied Out and Filled Anew

shining our heartlights

Alone once again. My daughter and her partner are on their way to their new life in New Zealand. My daughter called just before their plane departed with news that she had received a text message from a former love from years ago. He apologized for how he had treated her and wanted to express his love.  She was able to text him back to thank him. The universe is a place of grace. That her number is the same was amazing after all these years as after tonight, the number will be obsolete as she will get a new phone in her new land. So for that message of healing to come at the eleventh hour, as it were, incredible! It is a confirmation to me of how hearts are softening everywhere and the universe is doing its work. We are being gifted with so much love and healing light. What a blessing to know that this young man had found healing. Isn’t it what we want for everyone? For those who caused such pain and were in such pain, to find their way to healing themselves and reaching out to express the love that was there. For all of us to clear our relationships with everyone in our lives, past and present. I am so grateful for the healing that has taken place with my former husband. There are still a couple of folks that I would love to receive a text from as my daughter did but I hold them in heart light and know that the river of love is there and flowing, whether I receive confirmation or not.

Another beautiful experience today came when my daughter and her partner were at the phone store to end their contracts. They had been told to bring the work contract from New Zealand and sign off on their phone service. It was not going as planned and they were being told that they could not end the contract. My daughter texted me about the delay and problem. I texted back that I was calling in the angels to smooth the way for quick resolution. Her partner was then approached by the store manager who had been called and his name was……guess!  Angel, of course! He resolved the issue to everyone’s satisfaction and then my daughter shared with her partner,  her text messages with me. He was amazed. The universe can be that literal in responding to our calls for assistance!

Sitting on the trunk and looking up afforded a new we have as we look at our family tree anew.

Our days were so full. They felt dreamy, like we were all moving through some heavy energetic resistance (sudden fevers and illnesses that were short lived) as we moved into this space of heartlight and healing. All outer planned activities and get togethers with others dropped away. There was a sense that we were on this ship together, moving in our own land. There was only the togetherness and the essence of love.  Tonight I feel the emptiness after our days of togetherness. Yet it feels deeper than simply saying goodbye as we travel in different directions. We have done that many times over the years.  I feel that we have let go on another level as we came together in our hearts. The heart healing allowed us to let go more fully. When there exists a deep pain, there remains an energetic connection that is stagnant. When the love flows freely, the connection is of a different sort all together. It comes from wholeness, from sovereignty where each is free in their own space. The connection is one that allows fluidity and movement and ribbons of heartlight to flow freely back and forth. For my family, beautiful tapestries of light can now be woven as there are new colors and textures to create with. When another shuts down their heartlight, it does not mean mine cannot still flow. Indeed,  it does. But I feel the weight of pain in the other not loving themselves enough to forgive their actions and my heart would ease it. So, I close my eyes and send my heartlight streaming in gentle colors and soft textures to soothe their inner child. No love is ever lost and when the person is ready, that lovelight is waiting there to assist them to prime the pump of love so that it flows freely in their heart once again. My soul rejoices tonight in the healing of the heart of this young man from the past. It goes out to all who have yet to feel the comforting balm of the Creator’s love embrace them. My heartlight is a stream from the Creator and as I have felt His/Her healing love, I have come to know how it is a never ending stream that is a blessing to experience. I understand how unnatural it is to stop the flow and the pain that causes. To be in wonder at the peace and joy that I feel as it flows freely through me. Oh, we were made to love! To give love, to pour it forth with each heart beat.

Pulled this image from facebook and could not locate source so thank you to whomever's image this is. It so clearly expresses how I feel right now. So empty and yet full......poised between worlds.

There is such magic afoot tonight as I sit here in the stillness. I feel that I am looking out into a new landscape. It is a blank canvas waiting to be filled. I stand here in appreciation of this moment between worlds. I have let go of all that I have known up until this point in this lifetime……let it go with such love. Almost as if we have all made our transition, letting go of our connections and way of knowing one another in this life, the roles that we played. There is no looking back, no reaching with any part of me. I am standing looking forward into the abyss of space. I am poised to take my first step into the new with a full heart. And I pause to savor this point……this betwixt and between point. My heart is bursting with the sacredness of it all, the awe at the perfection of the plan for our souls. I breathe deep and vibrate with the lovelight running through. Here I go……..