Family clearing took place. It has been an interesting journey as a week or two ago some information came to me in a dream that was disturbing. I processed it through the days and observed it uncoil as various layers of emotions moved through me. I was surprised to discover that I did not feel a need to make my truth known to anyone else, but rather that it was my journey to uncoil the issue within myself. As I let go of something that would have devastated me formerly, I saw that it opened the field for healing for the others involved. It was not for me to present my perception of truth to them, rather to do my inner work and shine the light of love on all. My energy field then contains this information but in a soft, light filled way. It is there to be accessed if the others are ready. My healing it, heals it on so many levels that the others may never have to bring it to consciousness. At least that is how it feels right now. It amazes me that this may be possible! Truly we are in a new landscape. I do not claim to understand how it works but I feel it so clearly. There is the unwinding, the letting go, the emotions given free reign to move through. The light of day shines in and when the others are near me, it informs something in them. It is some kind of alchemy though I know not how to explain it only that I can feel that it is working. And that it is magical.
My former husband took the door opened by my sons, to step into a new relationship with us all. He and I went for a walk to see if we could find a place of resonance in our hearts. There was a moment when I got up from the bench where we were sitting, ready to leave. It felt like we were sinking in mud and I did not want to be there. But grace entered in, our higher selves prevailed and common ground was found. A hawk, ( my totem bird) flew low over our heads, in a slow flight offering us a clear view of his beauty. I thanked him for affirming that I was on the right path as was my former husband. A bridge was created that we could meet upon. We then met with our three adult children. It was the first time in years, that we had all been alone together. There were tears and laughter. We made food and sang our family blessing and felt the grace. We affirmed the love that is there. It was a beautiful first step towards reconciliation. I had prayed to each of our higher selves to intervene on our behalves, that we might take the highest road possible. I had asked to generate such love in my heart, that my former partner felt safe. He called the next morning to say those words back to me…..that he had felt protected and safe to speak his truth with our children by my love. That was a huge gift. I felt so proud of each one of us. I felt such compassion for who we had all been and all that we had endured together and on our own. My former partner asked me what I thought had happened and I replied, ” Magic, it is simply magic and grace. ” We are being gifted with streams of love from the sun, from the Creator. Streaming down to open our hearts wide open. To let go of all the pains and sorrows and heartaches. To let the love burn through all the past and allow us to live fully in the present without fear. It allows each of us to be more sovereign in our own space and to move out into the world as more whole beings. My daughter leaves in a couple of days to begin a new life half way around the world. She leaves with a greater sense of wholeness and a stronger foundation from which to step from. We are being blessed with this deep clearing so that we are free to move into the spring time and plant the seeds of our new lives.
I feel the oneness growing, the hearts opening, the shift happening. There are starts and stops. Tonight we were all together again and triggers came up for me. Breathe in love, breathe out triggers. That felt so difficult, nie on impossible for a few of those moments. Knowing that to reach for love was my heart’s desire yet the patterning was deep. The triggers showed me the old patterns of fear and where I needed to more fully embrace myself. Good, I thought, let them come. It takes time to align to the new, to reset the synapses in our brains to travel new pathways. I am gentle with myself and offer that gentleness to the others. We are all doing so well, each baby step is to be celebrated. We are trying a new dance step. Some of the old steps come in and we have to adjust and make allowances and begin anew with one another. How dear we all are! I am embracing tonight some pettiness that surfaced, some feelings of not being seen, of being cast as the polarity of seriousness. I am embracing each one’s point of safety and knowing that to push without regard to timing, can be a dangerous thing. I am allowing the flow in the place where I used to direct and control. I am breathing in ease when I felt contraction come. I am staying present to the whole spectrum without holding to a former position of polarity.
The other big piece in this, was owning my divinity. I will no longer play small. We are trained to not “blow our own horns”, not to speak highly of ourselves, not to boast. It is considered polite to downplay one’s beingness. If we speak up and claim our mastery, it can come across as self aggrandizement. I chose to claim mastery where I have it. I demanded that the divine feminine in me, be recognized and honored if there was to be a bridge built. I would not accept further ridicule and harassment. The divine masculine in my former husband did step in and bow to the divine feminine. This was the key to healing. This is what was needed for the foundation to be created. I am so grateful that this took place for myself, for my children, for my former husband, for the planet.
It is time on this planet for the divine feminine to be honored for her gifts. This is what will create peace on earth. I am grateful that our family unit took this step. I am grateful for all the hearts opening to this recognition, women for once again honoring themselves and their gifts and men for honoring the women in their lives and the feminine in their hearts. We are all coming into balance and it is a beautiful thing to behold.