Heart cloud floating on Mount Shasta.
Time is morphing, creating interesting days. A day can contain an age of energy, a month can disappear. Today was dense, hard to recall where it began. I have not slept much the past couple of nights and tonight seems to be following the same pattern. Last night I watched a mist arise outside, it felt full of magic. This morning as I went outside to stand barefoot on the ground and soak up the rays from the sun that was dissolving the mist, I felt a new energy arise from the earth. It was light and bubbly. The birds were singing loudly in the trees, the cool air felt energizing, the creek rushed by in the gully below, infused with the recent rains. Blessed, I felt blessed.
Seven white doves appeared in front of my car as I went to drive. I learned that a neighbor has a dovecote. They were so beautiful in their pure whiteness. Blessed, I felt blessed.
I met a new friend, soul family from other ages, for a hike up Spring Hill. Amazing hike, new to me. There were a couple of benches and picnic tables (Boy Scouts’ Eagle projects..well done) placed along the way that looked out on views of the mountain. Someone was given permission to cut branches off some mighty trees to frame the views. Blessed, I felt blessed.
A huge heart rock listening to our beloved talk.
Heart rocks appeared every few feet on the trail. As my friend and I stopped, deep in discussion about beloveds, she said, “look there”. A huge heart rock was lying on its side right next to us. We shared our understanding of the beloved relationship, our conversation creating a greater understanding and depth of knowing. We reflected for one another the journey we have been on, drawing strength from our shared experiences and visions. Blessed, I felt blessed.
I came home after hours outdoors on this day of mega solar activity, hungry and tired. I had half of a burrito in the fridge, leftover from yesterday’s stop at a cafe, which I consumed in a frenzy of need. I had stopped to fill my water bottle at the headwaters’ spring, I guzzled it and retreated to the silence and peace of my room and bed. The head pressure has mounted throughout the day. I lie in my bed and watched the light play across the mountain face, clouds casting fantastic shadows. As evening came on, I watched a pink glow light up its face. Then all retreated into the shadows of night. Blessed, I felt blessed.
View from my bed.
Darkness is here. I spoke with both my sons, checking in on how they were doing. Sharing our experiences of this day. New insights abounded, greater alignment to our truth for all. I looked out my window and saw the sky full of brilliant stars. They called me out and I found myself standing barefoot on the ground, looking up and calling out greetings to our star family. I recalled that it was only this morning that I had stood in the same spot, feeling the freshness of the day. Blessed, I felt blessed.
Bird observing the morning mist roll away. Me observing the bird!
I stopped in the kitchen on the way back up to my room and filled a bowl with chocolate almonds and pieces of ginger. The perfect combination for my late night tummy. Sometimes sugar is all that satisfies. I wanted to make a cooling smoothie but the vita mixer is so loud and the hour too late with roommates to consider. It will have to wait for morning. I found a sweet video on youtube, a romance. Light and dear and just right for late night. Blessed, I felt blessed.
Now it is about to become a new day. Perhaps my body will sleep. The train whistles its lonely sound across town. Somehow I am comforted by its whistle. Canadian geese fly overhead a few times a day. I hear them come through the trees behind the house and watch as they fly over , out the window to the front. Their honking comforts me also, a frequency transmitted that is adding to the wonder that is building. All of creation is participating in this time. Blessed, we are blessed.
Sweet mountain, I love her so.
Every part of me is spent. Yet I am quivering with energy. The air is charged with this newness. The earth is vibrating it, my body simply humming along with the rest. There is no knowing how, what, when, where all this will lead. But the energy is building. I know I am working 24/7 on inner and outer planes. This is it! cries my soul. I can sense the frenzy, the aligning of the highest possibilities for all……awe inspiring, truly. We are creating this along with so many others. The scale is beyond my human capacity to comprehend. I sense it, I am part of it, knowing and not knowing anything. Open to all. Heart on fire. Will I even survive it in the physical? Matters not. I am here. I asked for this. I asked to be a full participant. Blessed, I know myself blessed.
The crystal clear water of Lake Crescent that I bottled to add to waters along my journey. It felt so balanced on our skins, assisting in this process.
What amazing times we are in! There is change everywhere, inside and out. I am back from the Pacific Northwest loop where I found incredible beauty with water and mountains that fed my soul. I have to laugh at the way my mind works. I had thought to find a place that resonated and to call home. My personality self desired this greatly, after all, I had clearly stated to Sophia, my higher self, that I was available for the summer months but wanted a landing spot by October.
What happened was that by about 4pm each day, I found myself so spent that there was not a vestige of energy left for house hunting. Hardly any for forming words. I felt as like a wind up toy that simply stopped and there was nothing to it but to rest and await the next infusion of energy. I would intend to check things out, yet it did not happen. Instead, I would be given the next step on a journey that was in motion….not settling in as I had thought. My sister and aunt popped in and the knowing came that traveling to visit them was next. My mind questioned, “How does this help me find a home?” The answer was, “Trust.” I squirmed a bit with that then happened upon a recent post from Karen Bishop who writes of as ascension changes. She stated that folks on the front edge of this movement were being kept from landing in anywhere. As she went on to explain the larger perspective, I felt relief and joy flood through me. Yes! She described all that I had intuitively felt was my truth. That experience reminded me why it is so important to share our journeys, as one line can confirm our knowing and strengthen our resolve.
The mists are clearing for us all.
My computer and my brain have been on the fritz so writing was more of a challenge than I could muster. For the past few days, the earth has been pulsing energy up through my feet, my legs, my hips and onward. Interesting sensation. Last night as I was preparing for bed, energies were pulsing about my head in various spots, almost calling me to lie down. When I did, I was tucked in gently about my torso, the field vibrating with almost forms. I knew my beloved was present as were many of my guides and angels. With that, I drifted off to sleep.
This equinox feels tremendous to me as we are being gifted with so much newness. The past two days, the light has held a new quality to it. My senses are waking up in a new way. Right now, there is a dancing flame of energy on my crown chakra. I love feeling and sensing all this! The earth is releasing old memories of pain, emotional, physical and invites us to do the same. A friend and I walked by the river yesterday and realized in our talk that I have been working with the perpetrators of “evil”, holding them in a field of liquidlovelight as their shame and horror of their actions plays in front of them. I wake with images so intense in my heart and am asked to love it all. My friend has been feeling the sorrow of all the victims and working to releasing that. It is on such a massive scale now as the cosmos is poised to transmute it as our earth mother shakes it all off. She is stepping into her stardom and needs us to follow suit. We cannot move into the new trailing chains of pain or shame or sorrow. The doorway is narrow and requires one to drop everything, to surrender completely to the love of the Creator and of one’s own free will, step across.
The old is collapsing as we build the new under our feet with our love and trust.
My soul rejoices for us all! We have made it to here. There is now a firmament to catch our footfall. It may appear only after we have lifted our foot to step in complete trust, but it is appearing! Well done! Well done! Breathe deeply of this new air and allow it to rejuvenate yourself. I can feel my cells and body coming into radiant health. I feel my bones elongating as I will grow taller by a few inches. I have experienced the anxious mind chatter, quiet and a deep peace pervade my being. We have arrived. That is what is important. All the details of where/how/when/ what will be sorted out. Take this moment to feel the balance and peace that this day offers. Pat yourself on the back that you lived to see and feel this day. Peace on earth is real. Claim it in your heart as I do in mine. I love us all so!
A rock being someone created, looking pretty happy with his body!
Many around me have had the flu which brought the whole idea of illness front and center in my thoughts. I realized that my perspective has undergone a shift as I no longer resonate with the words illness, sickness, disease. I looked up illness and found this definition: illness n
1. a disease or indisposition; sickness
2. a state of ill health
3. Obsolete wickedness
I found the obsolete definition interesting. Wickedness……is our body wicked for calling our attention to something? I no longer choose to see through this particular lens. Everything is energy which is open to our interpretation. How we view it, makes a difference in how we experience it. If I feel ill and see it as something someone gave to me or I caught or as an expression of bad luck, I add the dense energy of victimhood to the experience. If I feel symptoms but see them as my body being upgraded to a lighter frequency or clearing out of old stagnant energies (the flu does this so well), then I am adding a positive feel to my experience. I see it as my body taking care of me, helping me to move with more ease in my life. I bless her rather than berate her. This may seem subtle, but truly this shift in attitude changes the entire experience. We all know people who have had serious illnesses, who later viewed them as their greatest blessings. What if we had that attitude from the beginning?
What if an illness was viewed as a time of checking in, rather than a time of checking out of your normal life? Whether you have a cold or throat cancer, your body is calling to you to check in. It wants you to remember what you know, it is asking you to discover if your outer life still fits. What needs tweaking? What is asking for attention? What needs to change? Often it is a signal to slow down and rest. In our fast paced world, it is an accepted way to get off the treadmill. In fact, it is often the only way to take a time out. I can recall a period in my life when I was working and raising teenagers when I fantasized about being a lady of prior times who had to go away due to a case of the “nerves”. In the novels I read, they went to beautiful sanatoriums where you were wheeled out onto verandahs with lovely vistas over the gentle hills to take the air each day. And you were waited on and cared for in the tenderest of ways. Oh, yes! I just knew that was what my spirit was calling for, a time out from the pressures of my world. Instead of this, I trudged on until my body collapsed with exhaustion and the tears were the only language that I could speak.
Water helps wash our bodies clean with tears, clearing our old stored emotions.
As I have learned to honor the wisdom of my body, I have come to see through her lens. She is the most amazing being, maintaining all the physical operations to keep me breathing and operating in this dimension. She also is a storehouse for all my past lives and holds information of my origins. The more I tune in to her, the more I discover that she knows all! Our bodies do not lie. They are an accurate reader and recorder of our energies. Science is beginning to make the link between illness and our emotions. We have used our bodies as storehouses for emotions that we did not feel safe to express. We stuffed them inside and eventually our bodies are forced to clean house of this old energy in order to keep us functioning. This is why I can burst into tears in a yoga class or when getting a massage as some cellular memory has been touched and is coming to the surface to be released. I do not have to know the details of the memory but rather allow the emotions to flow out from my body.
My body craves color, beets add a lovely note to my juice.
We are in new times and they call for new vocabulary to express what we are experiencing. We are ascending our physical bodies into higher dimensional energies and they are being asked to do an extraordinary thing. They are transforming from a carbon base to a crystalline one. Imagine that! I love feeling that I am becoming so beautiful and multifaceted within. There are many symptoms which we now simply label: ascension symptoms. Many of us state that we received a download of information and we are now integrating it. We accept the physical changes that brings. By viewing my bodily changes as part of my shift into higher awareness, I feel differently about the symptoms. I give them no negative thought, rather I thank my body for working so hard to assist me in this process. I ask her what she needs to be more comfortable and I give it to her. Naps have become essential at all times of the day and night. I am up typing at 2am after sleeping for a couple of hours. I follow her rhythms and no longer concern myself with what is “normal”. My body is unique to me and I am the expert on what she needs. I do not have to label myself as anything in particular or follow a prescribed pathway. I do have to take the time to listen to her throughout the day to see what she needs. As I care for her, she cares for me. We have one another’s highest good in mind and move in harmony. I am so grateful that she has carried me through all the dark times and has blessed me with good health. We are focusing on radiant health these days and it feels great. Give your body a hug and speak to her with the utmost tenderness. She/he deserves it!
After some wild dancing of RAGE that had Kali alive and well in me, I was able to laugh at how perfectly this small family soul group of mine works! We made sure to include all the elements that we needed for our transformation. We held the whole spectrum of polarity between us and have played it from all sides. Beautiful! Truly awe inspiring.
Last night there was a now rare family dinner scene, four of five present. Reminiscent of a couple of decades of times around the table, allowing unconsciousness more rein. We sang the family blessing, ate our fresh corn on the cob and relaxed. Former hubby brought in an unconscious piece that triggered me. He has played this role so perfectly for us all and it will be interesting to see what happens now as it feels it was a final clearing for me, so that part will no longer be played. Dinner ended and he went on his way while the anger simmered and stirred within me. I felt the energies grow and expand as that mother bear arose on her hind feet. Kali came to life within me.
from wikopedia: Kali, also known as Kalika is a Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. Despite her negative connotations, she is not actually the goddess of death, but rather of Time and Change. She is also revered as Bhavatarini (lit. “redeemer of the universe”). Comparatively recent devotional movements largely conceive Kali as a benevolent mother-goddess.
Actually, I love this image of Kali as the rage felt full of death and destruction. I know this rage, it has coursed through my veins many times in this life. Yet, as with all things, we experience them anew with our new understandings. I am clearing collective energies. The other night it was the decree to the universe that I would no longer accept this 3D life, demanded that I be allowed to bring heaven here or return to Source. This was the follow up energy, as I could see all the grace that had been offered each one of us, time and time again to move into the light. How many accept and how others play with those undecided. How much of me has held wide a door. Kali came in to say, No more! Door closed. I will not give one more ounce of my energy to hold the door open for those who impede another’s path with intention, who create an air of confusion around those sitting on the fence so as to siphon off their light, who have made the choice to continue in separation from Source and are intent on taking as many others with them on their path as possible. It stops now.
No more. I asked for it all to come forward, to show its hand, to face my Kali self. And it did come pouring in and my rage consumed it like a fire. I danced and danced to wild, pounding music with lyrics of “no more, no more”. I added my voice in frequencies that had not moved through me in ages. It was hot, it was fiery and it was quick. All that this body could move from the collective, came forth to dance its death dance. I acted as a conductor to move and transmute these energies. My son acted as witness and turned the volume higher as well as found the song for me as he too, has played this role. This was a power filled clearing.
Our sun is the ultimate fire, showering us with his love each day.
I asked for and received the broader view and saw how my former hubby played this role so perfectly for me. I felt the gratitude flow like waves to his soul. I also gained the recognition that on a personal level, there was to be no more gifting of my energies his way nor to others playing this note. Boundaries are good. There is the love that flows through all and I see it so clearly as ribbons of multi-colored heartlight flowing into and amongst all hearts. I see how he and I adore one another on the soul level. I see how his personality self may now choose to make use of all that he has been given from the family or not. All perfect and no longer mine to tend.
These are the end times. The death of the old and the birth of the new. We are here to create the new world that our heart’s desire and remember from home. The wonder is that it is all so impersonal yet so dear. How each of us plays our part for our soul group to grow and expand the Creator’s experience for ourselves and one another. How quickly the energies run, allowing us to move so much in these final days. We are creating room for the new to stream in in all its glory.
I have had to own all my shadow self in order to allow Kali full rein. As we clear our own containers, we can then offer ourselves in service to the collective. The intensity can be elemental, like lightening moving through the body, yet it is familiar to this elemental woman. I am of the elements. My fiery nature has awaited this time to play. I can call this passion to move in any part of the spectrum, from the darkest depths to the lightest of airs. I used to judge myself harshly for my fiery nature, now I celebrate it in its current form. It is a fire that burns clean whereas before it left a scarred landscape in its wake. Now it consumes all so that not even ashes remain. My trigger knew nothing of my dance on a personality level, yet the souls knew all. I understand the personality is but a container for the energies to move through.
Kali is a creator god that allows the birth of the new. We have been programmed to shy away from the heat of death and destruction yet Kali must dance her dance to create anew. We are standing at the doorway of the new cycle of the ages and all that has been must come crumpling down. We cannot build the new on the old foundations. All is being taken. I rejoice in her presence and honor her energies of life. Truly it is in dying that we are reborn. Thank you Kali for allowing me to move as you last night. I am so grateful.
The soothing coolness of the waters cascading over me.
I am left marveling at the wonder of me. At the wonder of you. At the beauty and ugliness, the heights of love and depths of despair, that we are capable of. Bring out your shadows, dance them, let the flames consume them. We are being purified and the fire is our friend.
Today the waters cleared me as I swam and showered. Soothing waters to quiet the flames and bring the balance bright. Now to see what the earth and air have for me!!!