Be Still and Know

IMG_5342In my recent clean out of bookshelves, I stumbled upon a slim volume of writing published in 1940. The redwood tree on the cover pulled me in. As I flipped through the pages, I felt the gentle wisdom within that I could now hear at a deeper level. On page 33 (3’s are my numbers and 33 is Christ mastery in my book) I read the following that is still echoing in my heart:

“Seek not of your own personal self to do deeds, to work, to plan, yea seek not even to be of high service to Me. I, the great Source of the Universe, do plan that it shall be a Universe of peace and harmony, and what I desire—shall it not come to pass? Therefore you need make no plans for the fufillment of that which I have ordained. There is but one service required of you, namely—-to reflect Me. Make the personal self to be so nothing, that it shall be I, speaking through your lips, smiling through your eyes. When man does thus live, my perfect plan shall be fufilled……..How free are you then, as you go singing through your day, always knowing that the One you reflect is guiding every step of the way.”                         from The Voice of the Master by Eva Bell Werber.

I was struck by the phrase I placed in bold type. To let go of any idea of service, of duty…..that has been a walk of surrender and trust for me. I was deeply imprinted from many lifetimes in the cloister, with following a path of duty. Taking off the hairshirt, unwinding the rosary beads….a process. I still pray to Mother Mary at times, I recite decrees when I feel called, I still live a devotional path in many ways but without the fear and supplication that was previously present within the acts. I allow the guidance to move me. There is freedom in the complete surrender of my mental process and the allowance of my own divinity to move me as She will. I look around at my rosary, my prayer beads, prayer books, my first holy communion statue of Mother Mary,  as artifacts that have been a part of my journey. I honor their role and know that I am no longer defined by them.

violet light that I saw out of the corner of my eye as I was hanging the plants' frost nighttime coverings.

Violet light that I saw out of the corner of my eye as I was hanging the plants’ nighttime coverings.

I,  and many at this time, are feeling this guidance in our moments. We are recognizing the inner voice of our own mastery as we tune into the knowing and allow it free rein. Following where we are led, sitting in the stillness when there is no prompting to move or act. The phrase: Be still and Know that I AM God, has been showing up in my world the past couple of days. I am gifted with a couple of days of solitude, knowing it was orchestrated for my benefit. I cleaned house yesterday and am feeling that expansive peace this morning, knowing chores are done and the day is waiting to unfurl. My mind jumps in with ideas: from finishing my prayer flag project, starting on the making of a gift, going to the farmer’s market, taking a walk in the park…… body, wisdom keeper that she is… sitting. Breathing in the sunlight that is melting last night’s frost. She allows the various aspects of myself to  have their say, to feel the energy of each idea. She then gives me her feel for this moment. Ah, I feel how a nap is in store and a dreamy day of inner listening as some part is awaiting birth. The activities will wait, all coming to completion in their perfect time.

Loved the way the sticks came together in the pool, a creation that fed me with its random artistry,

Loved the way the sticks came together in the pool, a creation that fed me with its random artistry,

Today I sit with my hand on my belly, as I did before the birth of my first child, and follow the inward spiral to catch a glimpse of the wonder that is soon to be. I hear, holy days and I feel that this week, moving towards the solstice, to be just that. The seeds within our beings are asking for us to shine our light upon them as they awaken from a long slumber. It is time. We are about to blossom into our true beings. I came into this life to be here right now. Gratitude flows that I made it,  along with all of you. We are here and it is time. I sit with this knowing and allow myself to drink it in. The wonder of it all.


Hawk Medicine Woman

Here is part of the walk that I took today. Aren’t the shadows beautiful! It has been a recent discovery, this lovely park that has a tremendous view of the city. You can see way out to the bay, watch the freighters moving their wares, marvel at the frenzy of buildings that make up the financial district, rejoice in the few spots of green that send out nature’s calls. I am so in need of the company of trees and rocks as the city’s constant energy surrounds me. This park is one of the best things that I have found. Golden Gate Park is amazing as is the ocean but I have to drive to both and there are days where I simply do not have the fortitude to engage in traffic. A walk is so much more in keeping with my being these days. The energies of this eclipse cycle seem to take so much…..with the dark descending so early it seems that the days melt into one another. Naps are essential times of deep communion with some part of myself. I feel as though I fall into a well so deep and it is not easy to come out. I honor all those who work in the day to day….I truly have no idea how you do it! I feel as though I am moving underwater, slow, slow. Lots of deep breaths and staring into space where time disappears. 

Can you see the freighters way out there beyond the city? Mount Diablo rising past the waters, school children’s excited voices echoing up the hill. A beautiful hawk flew overhead as my son and I made our way back home. He flashed his underbelly for me to see his colorings as he floated so lazily on the currents, circling over me. Sighting a hawk has always felt like a gift to me. I love them so. Ha…..this just led me to read about hawks as a power animal or totem. I knew them to be messengers and connectors to inner wisdom. But I clicked on a description of a hawk medicine person and it so fit me! I am a vision keeper and it went on to describe some of the challenges that I have faced from others:Hawk medicine people like many who carry strong predator totems may be shunned by others who sense and fear their inner power. Others may sense that this is a person who can see straight through them and as many folks think in terms of judging things as being good or bad, they are afraid that the Hawk person will see who they “really” are and so they strike first in an attempt to keep the Hawk person at bay. This resonated with me. It was illuminating to read more of the article:  Many of the messages Hawk may bring are about freeing yourself of thoughts and beliefs that are limiting your ability to soar above your life and gain a greater perspective….Hawks need to stay focused on Spirit as the true messenger and that they are the Hollow Bones for the energy to flow through. 

Copyright © by Lynx Graywolf

So I gained a new perspective as I had never thought in terms of carrying an animal’s medicine but I am owning that right now! I am a hawk medicine woman! I surely see that image each day as the hollow bones for the Creator to flow through and play upon. Love when we are gifted with this kind of synchronicity! 

I read an article today that resonated also for this eclipse cycle we are in. Brenda Hoffman does a great job of illuminating how you are not what is expected of you…..not by your family, your friends, your boss. She encourages us to return to our toddler days of truly expressing ourselves. The time of duty is fast passing. Being a duty girl, myself, I know how ingrained this can be. Holidays bring up so much of this in the family circle: doing what is expected rather than what fills you with joy. I believe that more folks are opting out of these limiting patterns this Christmas than ever before. With the Occupy Wallstreet movements, people are rethinking being pawns for the corporations with mindless spending in the name of love. I am hearing from friends who are opting out of the traditional family time that has become a duty and not a joy. We are called to honor ourselves by being with those who uplift us and allow us to be who we are at present rather than holding a mold from times past that we are meant to fill. Break the mold, step away from toxic relationships and empty spending and create what brings you joy. I have no idea what my Christmas celebrations will be but I know that the music, the candlelight, good food and companions of the heart top my list. I do not know how that will come together as my companions are scattered far about but even if I am on my own, I know that I can find it in my heart with no props at all.