The Lion’s Gate Portal and Pain

Latest swimming spot

Latest swimming spot

My world of late reflects these intense times. My back aches and makes sleep elusive. Time sitting, especially in cars is no longer easy. Camping trips have been cancelled and my hermit/nun existence moves further inward. I do my back exercises, get acupuncture treatments, walk by the river and play in the pool with my grandson. An unexpected delight of the summer has been swimming in the nearby river. The current is swift but there are places where lovely stretches off the main river can be found. I enjoy the feeling of swimming almost in place as my legs and arms strive for forward movement. It makes me laugh! There follows the reward of a gentle float back downstream, lying on my back, watching the bank flow by. Then the quick movement to eject myself from the river’s slipstream to reach the bank.

IMG_3037I pick blackberries warmed by the sun on my walk there and back. The wildness of the river and the berries resonate on a cellular level with a wildness in my soul and body that seeks greater expression. I can feel the enlivening and it brings me joy. I sense that all of nature is coming alive in a new way and it is transmitted to me in these connections. I need to feel these glimmers of a greater aliveness that herald the new that is to come for us all.

Then there are days where it feels as if a plug has been pulled and every drop of energy has drained from my form. I can hardly animate it. I lie exhausted on my bed or couch, a book at hand if there is a modicum of energy or mindless netflix shows if there are mere drops. If none, I watch the movement of the leaves on the trees outside the windows. If I do not have food in the refrigerator, I am glad of buttered toast from the loaf stashed in the freezer.  Amazing how long I can put off going to the grocery store or any other errands. I feel all those who suffer chronic pain, the limitations, the drawing in. What courage it takes to keep joy alive.

I spend much of my time with my daughter and grandson. I sleep over at the family house on weekends and when the three year old requests my presence. He is just back from a two week trip to see his father in Montreal (Yes, crazy that a three year old has to be so long from his mother. California courts and a father who is not able to honor his child’s needs above his own) so he wants the reassurance of his grandpa and me close at hand. This morning I awoke and went to the bathroom, to find the big blue exercise ball by the toilet. I called out to the scamp who must have rolled it in. He laughed and said, “Nana, that means this is a cracker day!” What is that?, I ask. He just made it up and finds it hilarious and so the day began with laughter and silliness. What kind of animal was I this morning? Could I guess what kind he was? Ok, I am a kodiak bear and he is a chinook salmon and we will see how that turns out!

A recent trip to San Francisco to pick up my grandson from his trip, the fog was shrouding the Golden Gate bridge just as this anger shrouded my heart.

A recent trip to San Francisco to pick up my grandson from his trip, the fog was shrouding the Golden Gate bridge just as this anger shrouded my heart.

Earlier this week, I had three days of intense anger flow through me at the patriarchy and its power over others. I observe how we bring issues in on a personal level to connect us to the global level. It came into my world with a court date where my daughter’s child support was reduced as her soon to be former husband wielded his financial savvy and control. I felt the struggle of single mothers to support and nurture their children while our society turns a blind eye. I felt all the abuse from the Catholic church of my youth, the power men have held over women. I felt the horrors of human trafficking and pediphilia. The anger was like a fire in my veins and I felt that I could smote all who used this power to harm. Moments of unconsciousness appeared in males around me and my level of fatigue with it brought me to my knees. I have no patience for it. I want to shake them and say, “Wake up!” It is time for the masculine to wake up. I have held space for this for so long and have so much compassion for the masculine as it moves from its aggressive warrior stance to becoming warriors of the heart, protectors of women and children, of innocence and truth.

This young man was waiting for the arrival of his wife who had been gone for two weeks. He said it felt like a year. I loved his open proclamation of his love.

This young man was waiting for the arrival of his wife who had been gone for two weeks. He said it felt like a year. I loved his open proclamation of love.

It has not been an easy road for them, I know this. I do  see signs of this happening, there are beautifully conscious males, especially in my sons’ generation and even more so, in my grandson’s as these souls come in balanced in their masculine and feminine aspects. Thankfully, each generation freer from the old programming.

Grief and sadness followed in the wake of anger’s fire. It held me in its grip for days until it suddenly released. These are the times we are in. Duality presents in heightened tones asking to be brought into harmony. My body is a cauldron where an alchemy takes place, turning the unspeakable into the liquid gold lovelight. It takes all that I Am.

I feel as worn as the wedding band of my former twenty-five year marriage. Thin to begin with, it lost its edges, softening with the daily wear and tear of old patterns of partnership and union.

The Lion’s Gate portal has opened as this night moves towards day. I have felt Mother Sekmet’s fire flowing this week and her sword swinging amongst the distortions of power and love. Tonight, the white lions come in, lying beside me as I type. They lick my heart and offer solace. I feel all the pain falling away. I sense the lovelight flowing as I move through this gate. We are being gifted with so much more of our essence. I see sovereignty entering in as our young men and women claim their power in authentic ways and wield it for the greater good.

I was delighted that this heart rock wanted to be balanced to shine its love to all by the river!

I was delighted that this heart rock wanted to be balanced to shine its love to all by the river!

Bliss and despair, hope and hallowed, beauty and fear. All to be held in our hearts, to be allowed, to be accepted and loved. What a glorious thing we are doing here on this earth. What a privilege to play a part in it. God bless us all in our tenderness and dearness.



Dying Each Day

Beautiful waters of the Smith River on the California coast. So crystalline and clear to swim in. Cold too!

What is it like to die each day?  I am finding out this week in an accelerated manner. The energies of the past week have been huge in assisting us to let go, again and again,  on deeper and deeper levels. How does one get comfortable with this? I watch myself struggling to find some place of comfort, some solid platform to stand upon. I am standing at the shoreline, feet planted in the wet sand as the waves wash in, digging the sand out from under my feet. I topple.

I could say I am once again in the void. The emptiness. I am streaming through a tunnel, with passageways off to every side. Materialism……no, that is not the joy ride I want. Gave up that distraction awhile ago. Food……no, not enough interest to get excited there. Art…..was a big draw, but no, I let that pass. Relationship……those who know me, know that has been big in my world for so long, yet that can go. Twin flames, soul mates, twin rays…….ascended master partners……no thanks. I pass. Family relationships……trusting that all are held as I am so yes, that can go. Memories, looking through old photos…..take it all. Travel….it seems cumbersome and old. Planes, really? We still move about in these old ways? .Nature, my go to favorite for finding joy…….even that pales. No. One thing after another, checking off the list, no, no, and no again.

River and ocean meeting, I want to flow into my mother's heart.

I want a world of deep connection with everything. I mean EVERYTHING! I want to know that I am one with all. I want to commune with the stars, with the plants, with the animals, with my body, with my brothers and sisters here on earth, with those off earth as well as those in the earth. I want to be one with Source. To know that I am love and only love. That I am adored as I adore. To feel and be love in every cell of my body.

I am so tired of everything. Tired of facebook where we exchange uplifting quotes and feed one another’s egos with sentiments that feel shallow today. I get that it has provided connections and a form of community for so many, me included. Everything feels like ashes in my mouth. It is not enough! I am tired of Linda Marie. I am ready, oh so ready to leave every aspect of this personality self behind. There is NO thing in this 3D existence that I want. I am ready for more.

I am demanding more! I called out to Source last night and said, “Enough! I want to be home with you or else I want to bring home here. But I refuse to participate in this game any longer. I demand this with all of who I am as I AM a creator being and as such, have this right.”

I love positive bathroom graffiti. How long has it been since so many of us have made love? Too long! Yet I want to make love to everything in the way it is with Source.

I feel that I am expressing the collective voice of humanity that is fed up. That no longer wishes to participate in this game where there are haves and have nots, where there is the us against them mentality, where greed and competition are praised and where women and children are not safe. We want peace. We want harmony and abundance for all. We want a world where each one knows their own beauty and feels free to sing their note in the song. I hold this vision with humanity, for humanity.

My heart tells me that we are at the tipping point. That we are ascending. That my heart is creating the new in each moment. That December 2012 is here and now. That some of us are going through to populate the new earth so as to be anchor points of light for those following. That we are the rainbow bridges that are being constructed around the world.

All this I know yet I feel the cries of the collective and the tears flow. I am expressing all of it tonight and the power of it, shakes my core. I stand here and the earth bears witness. It is time.



Choosing to See and Speak through the Eyes of Love

Our Easter lily trumpeting the news of our Christed natures coming in with the resurrection flames. You can almost hear the trumpets sounding!

The days are flying by, I arise, blink and the sun is setting. I feel the movement as slow and deep in my emotional world as layers upon layers are turned over, the tilling of myself so that I may have a prepared bed in which to plant the seeds of my heart’s desire. I am awaking from dream states where I am expressing old emotions. The other morning I found myself trying to get someone to see me. Telling them that I was a big heart player on the earth scene. Wanting to prove my spiritual credentials in some way. Oh, what a painful feeling. I was so glad to awaken and know the freedom of not needing anyone outside of me to show or tell me who I am. Not needing anyone to see me as I now see me. It has been a journey to this place of freedom but the sweetness of the knowing of myself is a nectar that I love.

I sat with a couple of friends the other night for dinner and the discussion turned to the

the beauty of this landscape

Native Americans here in Canada and the USA. It moved into a downward spiral of energy as we talked of the injustices that they have suffered, the problems of alcohol and drugs on the reservations, the loss of their way of life of living on the land…….I awoke the next morning knowing that I had missed an opportunity to raise the conversation to the vibration of love. I had to forgive myself for missing that chance and ask for another. The universe will grant this with so much love. A couple of emails arrived that morning speaking to this issue with such clarity. The first is from a “wise one” whose name I do not know:

When one focuses on what is wrong, there is judgement upon something, someone..It may be subtle, but it is there, for right or wrong, good bad is a duality experience. To take one’s consciousness beyond duality is important for the raising of vibrational frequency. Whatever vibrational reality you focus on with your light is what will come to you. Do you always want to be fixing things on the planet? Is this your true purpose here on earth? “

Oh, those Rocky Mountains! I am drinking them in with all of my senses. Overdose on your senses today!!

I used to believe that fixing things was my purpose but I am a creator, as we all are. We came to create heaven on earth. To do this, I can see everything through the lens of love. All very well you say, but how do we change things if we do not focus on what is wrong? For me, I believe that the old must collapse like a wave. It is the way of the wave to rise and then fall. All the efforts to stem that fall will be fruitless in the end as it is its nature to collapse. Looking through the lens of love, I can see the perfection of this as well as see the new potentials. Jesus did not come in and try to change his society’s systems. He came and emanated his light which is what created a shift of such immense magnitude.

Remember what even Einstein said, “You cannot solve a problem on the level of the problem.” You must lift it up through the resonance of your heart. You must become the source of magnetic power. You must place your creative focus, beloved ones, on what you want not on what you don’’t want. These things you already know. What you don’’t realize is that the world of Love is more Real than the world of illusion, and that the power of your hearts is far, far greater than the power of your ego or your little mind.

If you shift to your heart, then you serve the world in the most powerful way, by being the power of Love, by remembering that only Love truly exists, and that by changing the vibration in which you live, YOU CHANGE EVERYTHING. And it is done from the LEVEL OF THE SPIRIT. It is not done from the level of the world.”

There Are No Separate Hearts. The Messages from God, Circle of Light

through Yael and Doug Powell at Circle of Light

I thanked the universe and friends for sending me the words that I needed to shift to love.

An eagle soaring over head, taking me with him/her for a beautiful flight. I am so free!

After all, what is created from a conversation like the one I engaged in? It stirs up feelings of anger, hopelessness, despair. What of beauty is created from that? Again it goes back to accepting all as it is, trusting that all is part of the divine order. We do not fight against, as that keeps us playing in the fields of duality. We are moving to unity consciousness where all are/is one. We envision that which we desire. I want Native Americans and all people to live lives of abundance and freedom. I honor my Native American friends for the wisdom they hold as I expect to be honored for the wisdom I bring. We have all been every race, lived lives of lack as well as plenty, wielded power with a heavy hand, as well as with justice. I want to live in a world without labels where we recognize that we are all part of the rainbow tribe that has come to co-create with our beautiful Mother Earth. It is time to drop the labels that divide and become one people intent on creating the paradise that our hearts know so fully.

A 400 year old family barn, taken apart in Germany, crated and brought here to BC to become the home and restaurant of some newly made friends. I love how creative we all are, sharing our gifts. This couple bringing the Alps to BC, connecting the two lands.

Do you see how exciting this is? To see everything that comes into your world, as an opportunity to see it in love. To see a friend’s pain and open your heart wide enough to hold it all in love, not judging it as good or bad, simply surrounding it all in love. It takes all of me to do this. I fall down, I forget and revert back to the ego and duality. But I return, by the grace of God, more quickly these days, to the truth of love. Our hearts are here for this, they are conduits of love. We can live this love each day and as my world begins to reflect only love, I help create that reality for all. Can it be this simple? Yes though it is not a simple thing to hold to this love. You must reach deep and see through the eyes of the heart when the illusion is grasping to hold you in duality’s grip. Let go, soften your heart and focus and this world will shine with your heartlight….yes, you can wear your rose colored glasses. Rose is the color and the power of love. I love you all more than words can express. The ribbons of my heartlight entwine your hearts and I feel your beauty.