After some wild dancing of RAGE that had Kali alive and well in me, I was able to laugh at how perfectly this small family soul group of mine works! We made sure to include all the elements that we needed for our transformation. We held the whole spectrum of polarity between us and have played it from all sides. Beautiful! Truly awe inspiring.
Last night there was a now rare family dinner scene, four of five present. Reminiscent of a couple of decades of times around the table, allowing unconsciousness more rein. We sang the family blessing, ate our fresh corn on the cob and relaxed. Former hubby brought in an unconscious piece that triggered me. He has played this role so perfectly for us all and it will be interesting to see what happens now as it feels it was a final clearing for me, so that part will no longer be played. Dinner ended and he went on his way while the anger simmered and stirred within me. I felt the energies grow and expand as that mother bear arose on her hind feet. Kali came to life within me.
from wikopedia: Kali, also known as Kalika is a Hindu goddess associated with death and destruction. Despite her negative connotations, she is not actually the goddess of death, but rather of Time and Change. She is also revered as Bhavatarini (lit. “redeemer of the universe”). Comparatively recent devotional movements largely conceive Kali as a benevolent mother-goddess.
Actually, I love this image of Kali as the rage felt full of death and destruction. I know this rage, it has coursed through my veins many times in this life. Yet, as with all things, we experience them anew with our new understandings. I am clearing collective energies. The other night it was the decree to the universe that I would no longer accept this 3D life, demanded that I be allowed to bring heaven here or return to Source. This was the follow up energy, as I could see all the grace that had been offered each one of us, time and time again to move into the light. How many accept and how others play with those undecided. How much of me has held wide a door. Kali came in to say, No more! Door closed. I will not give one more ounce of my energy to hold the door open for those who impede another’s path with intention, who create an air of confusion around those sitting on the fence so as to siphon off their light, who have made the choice to continue in separation from Source and are intent on taking as many others with them on their path as possible. It stops now.
No more. I asked for it all to come forward, to show its hand, to face my Kali self. And it did come pouring in and my rage consumed it like a fire. I danced and danced to wild, pounding music with lyrics of “no more, no more”. I added my voice in frequencies that had not moved through me in ages. It was hot, it was fiery and it was quick. All that this body could move from the collective, came forth to dance its death dance. I acted as a conductor to move and transmute these energies. My son acted as witness and turned the volume higher as well as found the song for me as he too, has played this role. This was a power filled clearing.
Our sun is the ultimate fire, showering us with his love each day.
I asked for and received the broader view and saw how my former hubby played this role so perfectly for me. I felt the gratitude flow like waves to his soul. I also gained the recognition that on a personal level, there was to be no more gifting of my energies his way nor to others playing this note. Boundaries are good. There is the love that flows through all and I see it so clearly as ribbons of multi-colored heartlight flowing into and amongst all hearts. I see how he and I adore one another on the soul level. I see how his personality self may now choose to make use of all that he has been given from the family or not. All perfect and no longer mine to tend.
These are the end times. The death of the old and the birth of the new. We are here to create the new world that our heart’s desire and remember from home. The wonder is that it is all so impersonal yet so dear. How each of us plays our part for our soul group to grow and expand the Creator’s experience for ourselves and one another. How quickly the energies run, allowing us to move so much in these final days. We are creating room for the new to stream in in all its glory.
I have had to own all my shadow self in order to allow Kali full rein. As we clear our own containers, we can then offer ourselves in service to the collective. The intensity can be elemental, like lightening moving through the body, yet it is familiar to this elemental woman. I am of the elements. My fiery nature has awaited this time to play. I can call this passion to move in any part of the spectrum, from the darkest depths to the lightest of airs. I used to judge myself harshly for my fiery nature, now I celebrate it in its current form. It is a fire that burns clean whereas before it left a scarred landscape in its wake. Now it consumes all so that not even ashes remain. My trigger knew nothing of my dance on a personality level, yet the souls knew all. I understand the personality is but a container for the energies to move through.
Kali is a creator god that allows the birth of the new. We have been programmed to shy away from the heat of death and destruction yet Kali must dance her dance to create anew. We are standing at the doorway of the new cycle of the ages and all that has been must come crumpling down. We cannot build the new on the old foundations. All is being taken. I rejoice in her presence and honor her energies of life. Truly it is in dying that we are reborn. Thank you Kali for allowing me to move as you last night. I am so grateful.
The soothing coolness of the waters cascading over me.
I am left marveling at the wonder of me. At the wonder of you. At the beauty and ugliness, the heights of love and depths of despair, that we are capable of. Bring out your shadows, dance them, let the flames consume them. We are being purified and the fire is our friend.
Today the waters cleared me as I swam and showered. Soothing waters to quiet the flames and bring the balance bright. Now to see what the earth and air have for me!!!