A Leaf’s Lesson

fullsizeoutput_1374I lie on the sofa with some lovely English craft magazines to feed this burgeoning creativity that is flowing through me. The soft, cool autumn air wafted over me as the brightly colored quilt warmed me. I watched a leaf twirl its way to the ground. The peace flowed over and into my heart and I thought…..this. Yes, this is everything.

My note, my song is for this peace to permeate every heart. For all to feel this ease and freedom. There are some so dear to my heart who are struggling mightily, as are so many in these times. My heart offers a space around them, a field of love light to be used as  needed. We cannot create this peace for another, we cannot change their path. We are called to trust them to their own I AM presence, to their own truth, to their own lessons, as difficult as they may appear. All are creating their own reality for their soul’s growth. We are called to honor the holiness and sanctity of each one’s path, as uncomfortable and difficult as that may seem when our hearts desire to dissolve their perceived pain.

fullsizeoutput_1377We can become the peace ourselves, as we face everything that comes into our worlds with an open heart. If I feel a contraction, a moving away from something, I can breathe into it and allow it space. If I find myself fearing anything coming towards me, I can sit with the fear and allow it room. The energies are so quick in these times, that feelings flow through, morph and dissolve in a blink.

We are becoming comfortable with others’ uncomfortableness. No need to fix, to prop up, to make right. We can sit with someone suffering and allow that suffering. We can share that space without suffering ourselves. We offer our heart light as a field of love that can hold all that is not love. We can sit shoulder to shoulder, and breathe with them. We can see their truth and let them know that we know that they will find their way through this trouble or situation. We do not know the hows, nor need to. We do not need to offer answers or solutions. We know only that all will be well. Opportunities will present themselves and change will come about if the person truly desires it.

fullsizeoutput_137eThe recognition that I have called forth everything in my life, for my benefit, my expansion as a being of light, sets me free. Changing the perceptual lens, changes how I engage with  life. I am amazed frequently with the intensity of the love that I have for myself. The way that the greater aspect of myself, gives me opportunity after opportunity to master a lesson, discover a knowing. I am in awe at all the beings and events that align to make this possible, time after time.

Once the need or desire for drama dies down, there is left this freedom, this simplicity. Life flows with ease and greater grace. Moments of intensity may still come yet we now face them with a calm heart. Fear is no longer a factor. This allows new levels of freedom. More and more, events are conspiring to assist humanity to let go of a belief in external things as a source of security. More and more, folks are realizing that security comes from Source, that inner light within the chambers of our hearts. The old scare tactics of old age, ill health, poverty, and dying are losing their power. We are coming to the knowing that we are never alone, that we are always supported as we act out our lives on this stage.

fullsizeoutput_1375A simple life full of daily pleasures is my desire. I allow myself to become the leaf that lets go of the branch to delight in the descent to the ground. Will I fear the fall or will I create a beautiful dance with the breeze, enjoying the movement in each moment? The choice is ours. I choose to surrender and let go and see where this wind will take me. Perhaps I will descend and land, only to be crushed under the tire of a truck driving down the road, perhaps I will be raked into a pile and find myself thrown back in the air by a child’s body landing nearby in play or perhaps I will softly drift into a pool of water and float on the surface.  There are so many endings and within each, new beginnings.  I trust all of it. I know that I am cared for, as are you. All beings, known and loved by the One, by Source, the Creator. I am in love with having a part in this play. I am grateful to all you courageous hearts that came here to act out your parts too. May we all know ourselves blessed.

Teachings From A Two Year Old

Scottish cows grazing peacefully under the looming sky.

Scottish cows grazing peacefully under the looming sky.

As I spend days with my grandson, I marvel at how free he is. When he is unhappy about something, he lets out an “ahhhh” cry that can last two seconds or thirty seconds. Quickly he dispels the energy of frustration and is then fully present for what is next. He has a wise mom in my daughter, who allows him to voice his feelings in sounds. He is not fully verbal and truly what words are as effective in moving energy as a quick sounding of the feeling. Sounds are so much closer to the truth than the language we use which so often falls short.

I found myself asking my daughter if this was something she should try to get her son to stop. She pointed out the freedom in letting the emotions come fully through without shame or attempts at regulation. I saw how conditioned I was to some old standard to what was acceptable behavior in children. I could see how quickly things moved through my grandson. He is such a teacher in being present with what is in each moment. I am grateful for his example and honor my daughter for her wisdom in trusting him completely to be his true self. She nurtures that capacity in him which in turn, hones her own capacity and all who come into contact with this little one.

Nature shows up, ever present with what the seasons bring.

Nature shows up, ever present with what the seasons bring.

My daughter verbalizes his frustration as he vents. She says, “I see you are upset as you wanted to read another story” ….or whatever it is. She acknowledges his feelings, and in that acknowledgement he is seen and can more easily let it all go. Oh, that we could all emulate this behavior! Our bodies would be healthier as nothing would be stored deep in our cells to cause illness or disease. All would flow, moving swiftly through without getting stuck by creating stories about any of it.

This is a lesson for our times, to allow all feelings. To understand that feelings are not right or wrong, they simply are. It is what we do with our feelings that can cause harm. If we act upon them in ways that are harmful to others, then we have to take responsibility for that. Yet the feelings themselves are not harmful. We are invited to fully feel each feeling, allowing it room. I remember my shock when I allowed the feelings of bereavement to surface after my marriage dissolved. I had held them at bay for the first year or so, frightened that they were so huge as to undo me. Once I was able to face them and allow them room, I found underneath, a sense of peace that enveloped me. What a gift!

The sunlight illuminated these ferns so they seemed to glow from within.

The sunlight illuminated these ferns so they seemed to glow from within.

Everything is asking us to flow. Our world is shattering forms about us as we come to a new way of living on this planet. All is change, flowing from moment to moment. We witness time morphing and disappearing at an ever faster pace until we will live only in the now. No past nor future as a lens to look through. We will be free! Imagine that, the feeling of being present with whatever is in front of us, trusting explicitly that it is just what we need to continue to grow and expand as a being of light.

I tip my hat to my grandson for teaching me the ways of freedom. He continually shows me how to access more joy and wildness within my own being. May we sit up and take notice of the love that these little ones are streaming into the planet. May we open our hearts to be tutored in these wild ways of loving and living. I am so grateful to be where I am.

Finding the Soft Spot

My grandson's nature table.

My grandson’s nature table.

I have enjoyed reading a book by Elizabeth Berg called The Year of Pleasures. 

It tells of a woman’s experience the first year after her husband died after a long marriage. Her husband was a child psychologist. Here is the passage that really spoke to me:

“John used to talk about finding the soft spot in people, how that was step one. Then came the next step, the harder one, getting them to trust that you would not violate that place. He said patients would often make themselves vulnerable, that you had to withstand the fire in order to earn the cease-fire, and that it was always worth it to do so. He said that inside everyone there was a place that shone. ”

I resonated so deeply with those words. In my years working with troubled teens, that was my gift, finding their soft spot and building the trust that let them know that I would not let them go, no matter how violent their reactions. When I was in a position to hire teachers to work with these children, I looked for this ability. It was not easy to find as we are so trained to find truth in the surface projections, rather than in the feelings of the heart.

Love the spire hidden beyond the archway.

Love the spire hidden beyond the archway.

Finding the place that shines….this skill becomes more and more valuable and necessary as the levels of chaos and pain arise on the planet. We are going through the fires of purification as so much is destroyed to make way for the new structures to be built. In my home state, fires have left thousands homeless. There is news of one disaster after another across the globe as all are being shaken from the belief that security comes in any outer form. Each are discovering that it is only by going within that true security is found. All that we have been taught will keep you safe, is being dismantled. The systems of money, social security, retirement, property….are being rearranged and many are feeling firsthand how it can all disappear in a moment.

Despite all that appears as chaos swirling on the surface of my emotional field or the planetary consciousness, there is a deep well of knowing within that all is well. I drop into that space and breathe there at intervals throughout the day. Feeling the love light flowing in all its pink gold peace, informing and lighting up my cellular structure as well as the planetary Christed grid. We are living in the end times that have long been prophesied. What an honor it is to have a body and heart with which to participate in this grand experiment of bringing in the golden age of peace and love. One heart at a time, we move.

Equinox Energies

fullsizeoutput_12cdAwake since 2 a.m….the way of it this week. Fatigue following my every footstep yet sleep is elusive. There is a level of anxiety, electricity running in me that does not turn off. I feel stretched, my skin seems porous, hardly able to contain the energy vibrating within. I am packing for the East coast with no knowing of what I am about, other than the first couple of weeks being with my kids and grandchild. Then?
I am desiring to “clear my wake” here at the family home. To box up and get rid of the stuff that accumulates. What to keep? Will any thing be needed? It all feels surreal to me. For so long I have known that we are creator beings, able to manifest all of our needs. I sense this becoming our reality and yet there is this now.
Deep breath. I am here. Inhale the scent of coffee, enjoy the comfort of a warm bowl of oatmeal. Relax into this known space of comfort. My heart thrums, all is well. And my being feels tremulous with the holding open of this equinox gateway. May all beings walk forth into this light and freedom. This one closes with a clang that is already echoing. There are always more opening as one closes, yet this one is significant in ways that are beyond my conscious knowing. My body feels the import and is fairly vibrating with the opportunity it offers for freedom. May all beings walk forth in truth and love. The beauty way is here.

A One Way Ticket To the New

IMG_569711:11p.m. and I have not been able to fall asleep as yet despite a feeling of exhaustion that has been with me most of the day.  Just grabbed my computer, turned the wifi back on and took note of the time as I began to type. We are in a surreal time. There is a dreamy quality to the days of late. It takes more and more energy to do things in this environment. I feel that I am moving in slow motion. My legs and feet weighted with the effort of taking on much in the way of outer activity. My mind processing information slowly or not at all. The grasp of memory loosens and fades. The dream world calls me ever deeper.

There is a peace that has infused my being. I feel so complete with everything. I sense I am leaving. On one level this is true, I have a one way ticket to travel yet on a deeper level, I feel I am leaving this dimensional space. In less than two weeks, I am to fly to the East coast where my three children and my grandson live. Time is disappearing so any idea of projecting plans into the future becomes more and more difficult. There is this now moment which informs me. I take the action as inspired. The ability to make things happen through thought is fading. More and more there is only feeling our way with our hearts.

I have this desire to clear my wake…..getting rid of things and packing what remains in some orderly fashion. I have done this dozens of times and can barely muster the energy to engage with it all again. I am at the house where I raised our kids. My former husband has graciously allowed me to return over the years whenever one of the kids has come back for a visit or I was in need of a temporary resting space. I have a strange sense that I will not return to this house. I am feeling such a sense of completion with this part of my life, even this area of the country.

Have we come to the edge of the known world? Are we about to take that step into the new?

Have we come to the edge of the known world? Are we about to take that step into the new?

The one way ticket feels true on many levels. We are preparing to travel and we will not be returning to life as we have known it. We do not know how any of this works. How will we get from here to the new earth? Will our vision change and we will perceive a dimensional space that was previously closed to us? Will we walk through a portal that suddenly appears? Will we take our bodies? Will we flash into our light bodies? I first heard of physical ascension in 1990 and immediately I knew that was an experience that I planned for this lifetime. My sense is that I will retain my body but it will be refined and rejuvenated. I sense we will get to choose its appearance. I like the idea of my thirty-three year old self.

It is all unknown. I have a few folks around me who are feeling this also. I have heard the words, “I am ready” for the past year or more. The difference now is that I feel so at peace. So satisfied with what I have done in this lifetime. I received the message some time ago, that I had completed what I came for. I anchored the frequency that I brought from home. I had thought that I wanted to have the experience of a beloved as well as living in a love pod with those of like resonance. Those have been my dreams and visions for so long.

I love how the vine supports the increasing weight of this squash. It is now twice as big and still hanging on. It has ripened to a golden tan. Will it drop off soon? I see myself in this squash.

I love how the vine supports the increasing weight of this squash. It is now twice as big and still hanging on. It has ripened to a golden tan. Will it drop off soon? I see myself in this squash, ripe and ready for harvest.

Now the yearning is gone. I sense all of that awaits me but in a new space. I am ready to enter that space. There is nothing more to do. There is no juice left in the old. Most of it feels heavy and dense. Nature offers her beauty and that allows me to float through my days. For now, there is only the loving and savoring of all that is here.

Is my one way ticket to the stars? To my love pod? To a ship in the sky? To a new life in Montreal or Vermont near my children or somewhere brand new?

I know that there is a level of fatigue from all the lifetimes spent on this beautiful planet. There is a desire to rest deeply amidst beauty, in harmony with all. To return to the Oneness and merge. There is also a sense of excitement, of wonder that is running through me at what is around the corner. I am grateful to be here witnessing it transpire. The land of our dreams is calling us. A new journey, a new frontier awaits. May all beings be free to hear the call and cross into the land of their dreams.


Are We Done Yet?

We can flow free like this river, cascading into a clear pool that reflects light.

We can flow free like this river, cascading into a clear pool that reflects light.

I am observing in myself and others, the enormity of the love we have for ourselves! The universe is working overtime to bring to our awareness everything that we have created thus far, that was not fully felt or processed in the moment. It is asking us if we are done yet. Do we need more of this pain or trauma to learn from or are we ready to move on?  We are being presented with our emotions once again in order to move through and beyond their prior weight in our emotional field. We are being offered freedom! The opportunity to view our lives through a new lens, to look at the past with a loving eye. We can rewrite the past and allow ourselves a brighter future. We can love who we were when we felt that pain and choose to let it all go. Or not. The choice is always ours. There is no one else who has to be involved when we know that we have created every aspect of our lives. Perhaps not consciously in this realm, but from our higher, broader self, we set it all in motion for the experience that we would gain.

We can choose to stay under the clouds of despair or seek the light in our hearts.

We can choose to stay under the clouds of despair or seek the light in our hearts.

Now we are choosing to evolve this planet and all of us on her. That means we all have to lighten up. Our unresolved pains are heavy and in order to lift off, we must cut them loose. We need to free ourselves of the weight and begin to feel the joy of a new perspective.

I have found myself laughing out loud when something shows up of late. I can almost hear myself asking this aspect of me,

“How about this? Does this hold any trigger still? And what about this? Does this hold any remnant that is unresolved ?” On and on it goes as we lighten our loads and our hearts.

That deep recesses of our hearts are being emptied of the old to make way for the the new love pouring in.

That deep recesses of our hearts are being emptied of the old to make way for the the new love pouring in.

All of this while our physical bodies are stretched to the max trying to assimilate all of this radiant liquid love light that is pouring into our vessels. Exhaustion is common as well as fogginess, an inability to think in the old linear way, body aches and pains, a myriad of strange symptoms that the medical profession struggles to put a name to. We are ascending, bringing our divinity into our bodies. It is quite a feat! Thank your body for all that it does even if you find yourself having to take two or three naps a day.

Many are finding their identities dissolving as old habits and expressions no longer serve the being we are becoming. There can be a pulling away, an inward focus as the new anchors in. I have found myself sitting up straighter, my posture improving as this new being is huge and demands more room in my body.

We are in the end times, the end of the old matrix controlled life. We are freeing ourselves to live a life of peace, harmony, freedom and love. We are co-creating a world of wonder and unity. Let us be mindful that these times call for gentleness, for all others and for ourselves. Everyone is doing their best. It is not an easy time but know that we all petitioned to be a participant on this planet to witness and contribute to this massive change.

Time to spread our wings and fly!

Time to spread our wings and fly!

Knowing this, we can appreciate and open ourselves to all that is arising. All is seeking to be felt, to be loved, to be accepted. We can determine to feel everything fully so as to free our hearts to have a greater capacity to love. We are meant to be in love with everything! Think how much our greater being loves us, to move all the pieces on the chess board that are required to bring forth the memory of one painful situation or another, into our lives in this now. It is mind boggling how it is all arranged. Whenever I think of it, I am flooded with appreciation for myself and the Creator. What wondrous times we live in!


A Dream of My Deepest Dream


I do not know whose work this is to credit but am offering a thank you for its beauty and the feeling it evokes.

Awoke from a dream of a sky ship coming for me. Someone I was living with came running to tell me that there was a huge ship outside waiting for me. We were living high up on a multi-storied building. I looked outside and saw it. I looked down and saw folks on the ground staring upwards in amazement at the sight of this ship.

In the next moment, I was being welcomed inside this ship. Oh my! The intimacy, the joy, the wonder of it all was like a dream. For as long as I can remember, I have dreamt of community, of living a life with a level of intimacy and connection that has been absent in this reality. In the dream, I had the thought that my heart had known the truth all along. I had kept that kernel of desire banked in the deepest recesses of my heart, like a live coal awaiting only a fanning to leap into flames.

IMG_5603I have spent my life yearning for it, thinking of it, visualizing it, dreaming of it……this feeling of connection. Yet it was way more than simply connection that I felt, rather a knowing of oneness with all beings. I have experienced that sense of oneness once in this lifetime. In the dreamscape, it was that sense amplified a thousand fold. Here I was, actually FEELING the homecoming, the joy of being welcomed, of being a part of a much larger community, of being cherished, of having been missed. It was indescribable using our limited language. It was sound and color and light.  Oh, be still my heart!

An old weathered stump with this bouquet of greenery bursting forth. That expresses my heart in this moment!

An old weathered stump with this bouquet of greenery bursting forth. That expresses my heart in this moment!

I sit here typing in the pool of light cast by a lamp with a taste of ash in my mouth. It is 2:12 a.m. and my heart is racing. Please let this mean that the time is coming to bring this love into our earth, the time to bring heaven to earth.

That is what I want to live! I want that intimacy with all beings. The feeling that I experienced in my dream was unlike anything that I have experienced on this earth plane. Even the deepest intimacy that I have known, feels like a shadow of the love that is possible for us to live.

We have been so conditioned to keep our hearts at bay. We read how we use so little of our brain’s capacity but it is our heart capacity that we have hardly begun to explore. That is the new frontier, it holds the uncharted territories that our dreams are made of.

Here is to setting my intention to be an explorer of the heart. I have lived a hermit like existence for so long. No more. I intend to follow this feeling that is burning in my chest. To not give in to the taste of the ash of disappointment in my mouth but to take this as a sign. We are getting closer to living as the gods that we are. I am Source. You are Source. All is Source.

One of my daily heart reminders that appear, this one from a bit of shell as I was cracking walnuts. We are so loved!

One of my daily heart reminders that appear, this one from a bit of shell as I was cracking walnuts. We are so loved!

Let the exploration begin! Let our hearts lead us forward to these reunions, to a way of living that is in harmony with all beings. May we each live our truth and come to know our own beauty and that of one another. May we be free to express it in every moment of our lives.


Summer Solstice Play

fullsizeoutput_11b0The Solstice was a wild ride. A friend came to play and celebrate the Solstice with me in this beautiful spot. We were preparing the day before and then full on into it on the Solstice. We gathered flowers that wished to be a part of the ceremony (many clamoring to be chosen) and headed to the beach. Felt into which one to chose…ended up at one with Christ in the name. One of the many clear rivers ran into the ocean there and so we had the waters streaming in from the land. We gathered rocks and driftwood and set about creating. As I placed each rock, I felt the swirling energies around me. The elementals of mist and water and air were working with us. I used rocks with sun colors of white, orange and gold. After that was laid, the dark rocks asked to be a part of it all. A line was laid that I understood later to represent the mystery, the dark matter, the deep unknown that is always present in life.

fullsizeoutput_11c7My friend, created a heart that held the divine masculine and feminine in its embrace. I love that we can trust ourselves so deeply to know what to do in each moment. It was playful and fun for us yet we had to stop and drink and eat at times in order to continue. That is the other side of  knowing more, you feel it all so intensely. I could feel the wheels turning as I laid the rocks, feel how it was creating shifts and movements in the All.

We knew we were to go to the unnamedredwoods later in the day to complete our ceremony. We came home to eat and rest first. We then headed out to the forest. We came to another gorgeous river and beach to walk and then made our way to the grove. It is advertised as the world’s most scenic stand of redwoods. You do feel as if you are in a cathedral with the soaring trees reaching above.  There is a hush that the thick layer of needles creates as it absorbs the sounds of your footfalls. We brought crystals from Mount Shasta and rocks from the beach that wanted to be transported. So many openings and crevices in the trees offered perfect places for these gems to rest.

fullsizeoutput_11c9Hearts were with us all day, heart rocks, heart shaped pieces of wood, heart openings in the trees. Everything was alive with the lovelight. As we made our way back to the car, the same thoughts popped in both our minds. We were to complete the circle and follow the route through the forest and out to the town below us. As it was the longest day of the year, we still had sunlight as we made our way out of the forest. We arrived at the ocean as the sun was preparing to set. We went and ate some fish tacos to celebrate a day well spent.

fullsizeoutput_11b6Once home, it was fully dark. We opened some champagne and celebrated the full circle of our day. It felt as if it had been a week since the morning, a full day in every sense.

It is now the third day since then, I have rested deeply, my energy completely spent. I saw how my body is permeable, open to the elements and energies flowing. It is one of my gifts, to allow the energies full reign within. The beauty flows in and out into our Mother Gaia. I am a chalice, filled and emptied over and over with the liquid love light that is my song.

I am so grateful to be in this place of beauty that fullsizeoutput_11bamy friend has so lovingly co-created with the elements. I am held in its embrace. The butterflies and birds swoop and soar, the bees are busy gathering pollen to carry back to the hives by the old barn here. The flowers raise their cups to the sun. Blueberries are beginning to find their blue hue, a hidden bunch of raspberries flashed their sweet redness, inviting me to partake of their deliciousness. All is in harmony. I realized that I know so deeply that all is well as I have come from that future. I have lived that new life that is beginning to burst its tendrils through the veil. There are wonders ahead. All that it requires is that we hold its song in our hearts and sing it with every breath. We are singing the new into being. How beautiful we all are! That was my Solstice intention, that all beings come to know their own beauty and have the freedom to shine it and sing it out to the world! Hallelujah.

IMG_1936Thank you to my friend, for the forest photos and this one of me in the mist. My phone felt the heat of the energy and shut down. It has come alive again after a day of rest. I am feeling that same aliveness begin again within myself. Off to the ocean to feel the wind and sea and let it invigorate me.


A Snake and Fathers on My Mind

IMG_5359I was hanging clothes on the line, barefoot as I like to be as much of the day as possible. I almost stepped on a garden snake. Oh, surprise!  I took a couple of deep breaths. I was glad that my foot just missed him and his reflexes were quick enough to slither away. Transformation, yes indeed. It is here!

I am living heaven on earth these days. My friend’s home is the garden of eden. I just ate an egg fresh from the chickens with some chard plucked from the garden, spritzed with a lemon from one of the many trees. Yum. My belly feels pretty satisfied as I am ingesting all that sunlight and cool sea air along with the food. Makes me feel a bit woozy as I contemplate it all.

IMG_5357I have put new bouquets about the house. I am in love with honeysuckle and lemon verbena and roses. Oh my! There are petals that fall and more to clean up but the joy is so full and rich from the filling of my visual and olfactory (strange word) senses. As I go to cut the flowers, they all call out, “Pick me, pick me!” I know some folks don’t believe in cutting flowers but they love to be brought in to be admired and to weave love light with me. Each one gets more attention and we all love to be seen.

IMG_5356It is Father’s Day today, and it brought with it a wave of love for my dad. He gave me the experience of dark and light from the earliest age. He was not the wonderful dad so many have the experience of, yet he was wonderful in some ways. Alcohol turned him into an unpredictable violent man. Yet there was a gentleness that could surface. On weekends when his shift work allowed, he took us out of our suburban neighborhood with a gin mill (that is what the bars where called) on the corner to the farmland where he grew up. We had woods and freedom to roam. Our neighborhood was made up of men who worked at the steel mill or the Ford Motor Company. All working shifts, heading out with their metal lunch pails that held the thermos in the top. For years, I made his lunches. I cannot imagine working 7am-3pm, 3-11pm, 11pm-7am for decades. How did his body adjust? Something that I never considered as a child but feel gratitude for now. He took us to museums, on road trips to national parks and forests with the pop up camper. We vacationed every year on a lake in Canada. We rented a cottage and we six kids all preceded to get burnt to a crisp within the first couple of days of swimming  and had to wear t-shirts over our bathing suits for the remainder of the vacation time. We would lie in bed with blisters on our backs, whimpering to one another.

Dad had a wooden boat that he shared with his brother and father that we used for outings, waterskiing for those lucky enough to fit into the skiis without your feet slipping out, fishing for those who had the patience to sit out there with our dad, or trips through the locks that allowed passage to other bodies of water where we went grocery shopping.

Morning mist flowing down the hill.

Morning mist flowing down the hill.

He picked mushrooms and cow slips (a spring green), and buckets of blackberries in the wild. He grew a big garden and composted scraps. He hunted for deer, rabbits, and pheasants that all were part of our diet and helped the budget. He turned off lights whenever they were not needed, frugality was a part of his nature. All things that inform my way of living.

I did not speak directly to him for most of my childhood, was surprised if he called me by name. He was the male who went to work, took us places, read the newspaper, imposed the quiet if he needed to sleep. Children and adults did not interact to much of a degree in our household. Yet he provided for us in all the physical ways. No mean feat with six kids.


We are all part of this circle of life. Our fathers flow in our blood as do our children.

The sun is shining and calling me outdoors. I am grateful for all the ways the divine masculine has grown. I look at my former hubby, now dear friend, my sons, their friends and feel the deepening and shifting that has occurred. They are present with their feelings, comfortable with their nurturing sides, open and exploring new ways of being a man, a father. We have come a long way. I am grateful to the generation before who lived such closed off lives in order to fufill a role given them as to what it was to be a man. How wonderful that my grandson will know and live a different way of being. We are evolving!

Solstice Energies Seeping In

I am up on the California coast, a few miles from the Oregon border. I am in a lovely old farmhouse of dear friends who are traveling cross country. We are all in our perfect places to anchor and receive these intense lovelight energies. A week ago, I was in Mount Shasta for the full moon. It was interesting to feel how the energy in the town is shifting.There are many closed businesses, people moving in and out. I sensed a more grounded community forming. It felt clearer than I have experienced it previously. This shifting is happening on a planetary scale as we are all moving into alignment with our souls and our mother earth.

Once I made the drive up to Oregon and then back down the windy path through the redwoods to this part of California, I was wiped out. I could have stopped at Trader Joe’s in Medford or a big supermarket in Grant’s Pass but it felt impossible. Of late, all the multitasking IMG_5294abilities have gone. I can only do one thing even when it means I will have to make another trip at a later date. The energy moves with clarity for the one purpose, all else must take a back seat until their time comes up. Simplicity is paramount at this time. I was so grateful to arrive and as my hunger set in, to find a container of homemade soup with my name on it in the freezer. Thank you, dear friend! I felt awash in love and care.

IMG_5317I had that crown tingling energy transmit the week before that I was in need of deep rest and was to have no visitors or schedule the first week. My body has sunk into this. I have not stirred too far afield. I ventured into Brookings, Oregon, the nearest town, to stock up on groceries. Once that was done, I settled into lying on a chaise in the yard, watching the clouds and birds fly by. My daily routines are very light, I spread feed for the chickens, gather the eggs, if there are any. Most days there are two warm eggs that feel so alive in my palms. It has been a treat to eat their sunny yellow- orange yolks and white whites. I check on the sheep, that they have water. I have weeded a bit in the yard and garden and the sheep delight in eating the greenery I toss them. Lovely system where they just gobble up what I do not desire. I love when things work that cleanly and well.

fullsizeoutput_1190The first day or two I used the heater as it was damp and chill and I did not have the energy to make a fire in the hearth. Now I have been making one regularly in the evenings and it warms my heart as well as my body. Thank you to my friends for all the wood stacked on the front porch! Dishes piled up for a couple of days as a spurt of energy would find me cooking a chicken for soup, making chocolate chip cookies so as to eat the dough. I found myself laughing that I was eating raw. Raw cookie dough, that is!  I love it, has been a comfort food since I was a child. I baked a tray and ate all the cookies in one night. Baked potatoes, grilled cheese onnaan bread, toast….I seemed to need to eat every couple of hours. My body was seeking comfort and warmth so I allowed her it. Sometimes veggies look so inviting, other times, the freshness is too much for my system.

The old barn reminds me of my grandparents and my time there.

The old barn reminds me of my grandparents and my time there.

Various aches and pains showed up and then pretty quickly disappeared. Hip ache, pain in a tooth, shoulder ache….different parts of my body releasing old memories. I blessed it all and allowed it movement. My legs felt heavy, my belly bloated, body dense. I was in slow motion in my thoughts and being. Naps took me so deep I struggled to surface and figure out where I was, who I was. I binge watched a netflix series which saw me awake till 2 am one night. Finally, I skipped ahead and watched the last of the series just to get it over with. To free myself from that addictive hook. Of course, over the next days I went back and filled in with the shows that I skipped! How would we have ever gotten through this ascension cycle without books and netflix’s? I am grateful for all of it.

Yesterday it changed. I felt light, vibrant, excited. I craved salads, especially inviting with borage and calendula blossoms. I went to the thrift stores in town and bought a few items that make me feel attractive as they are so comfortable. I felt comfort in my skin once again. I found a few picture books to read over FaceTime to my grandson. It has become a lovely routine for us most days.


IMG_5334I have walked the beaches, collecting rocks. My how I love rocks! There is a treasure trove of beautiful ones here. I have a dozen heart rocks, some thin stacking rocks, ones of various shapes and hues. I am taking them back to the family home so our grandson will have them to play with when he comes later in the summer. So much more fun to categorize into shapes and colors and form than plastic toys.

I sense an opening, a lightening for all of us as this Solstice gateway opens on the twentieth of June. I know I am already assisting in holding this gate wide so that all will benefit from the streaming energies from a multitude of galaxies. Twenty-two, in fact! I love that master number. It is the day of my birth and of both my parents. It holds the key to much of this embodiment for me.


One of my new vases showering violet delight about.

The redwoods await me….there is an ancient grove just down the road with crystal clear rivers running through. They surround me here on the property as my friend planted 300 trees when she first moved here as a young mother. They stand guardian and offer connection to all their brethren in the forests nearby. I am preparing for my time with them. Everything has a timing. I feel the privilege of my life that I have created the space to allow myself to flow with that divine timing. When we move with it, things take so much less energy. One moment, the kitchen gets cleaned that felt impossible moments before. It is trusting that all will get done in perfect order when we allow our hearts to lead, rather than our minds.