I am here. Present with my aching feet…..new sensation. Rash on one foot, sore heel on other. It feels as if my feet have already moved into a new dimensional space, testing it out, getting a sense of the landscape.
I notice that I can no longer attend to more than one thing at a time. I can no longer drive and talk, cannot write and carry on a conversation, even eating and conversing becomes somewhat challenging. The little prince who arrived as a grandchild, has had a hand in this. To be with him, requires a stillness, a slowing down, presence. He does not demand nor direct with words, his essence communicates with eloquence. He is showing me the new, the telepathic communication that is rich with light and sound. A packet unfurling in multidimensional splendor, a light show in my being that offers richness and depth that our language cannot reach. I find myself holding him and giggling in delight.
Thank you to all my dear friends who have experienced my abrupt ending of a phone conversation or interaction as I learn to navigate this demand for presence with more grace. We are in the training wheel stage of new ways of communicating, of being with one another. As I leave one focus, I enter fully into the next. No longer having the recent past as a filter that I view the present through. Here……and now here……here. Separate, new and yet all part of the love stream.
In this now, witnessing the strands flowing outward to create the next now moments. My daughter and hubby and baby intend to depart in a few weeks for their northern home. My elder son and his love are letting go of their apartment and lifestyle to head out to explore the next where. My younger son will be doing the same, to discover his and his finance’s next where. My former hubby will hold down the family fort, graciously storing everyone’s boxes while each journeys. He is experiencing change in his work world that may propel him on a journey to newness. Where will I head as this love pod disperses? I just read a post somewhere describing the nomadic, no home, lifestyle so many of us have adopted, as home free rather than homeless. Interesting idea, free to move at an inner calling, free from so much that tethers. Add that nesting instinct that lives within, the desire for structure, connection to place. Tethering. Beauty in both forms. I am desiring to create the home once again. Interested in how it could be new, how fluidity could coincide with form. How tethering could exist as a gossamer thread that allowed flight. How community could be a stroll from my doorstep.
My present life is an adventure in communal living. Grandparents, adult children, grandchild under one roof. The next step is the love pod communities where we each have our own space, be it tiny or sprawling, designed to suit our interests and desires. Where a community hub exists that nurtures and supports all through shared activities. Where harmony is achieved through resonance rather than rules. The utopian society that I dreamt of in my youth, the tribe come together once again. Yet a tribe without the yoke carried by the old. Belonging, being seen and appreciated for one’s gifts, the delight in sharing those gifts. Freedom and connection. Fluid and tethered. Sovereign and united. A life of and, and and……not either or. I have long dreamt it. It exists. I am dreaming my way to it. Perhaps I am living the love that allows it to flow to me. Magnetizing it by my heart light. Yes, that feels good. What are you dreaming and magnetizing into existence?