Time bends and swirls, the body feels the roller coaster ride sensations, nausea and exhilaration. This mystical month of May, full of Wesak energies of the Buddha. My son, born during this time, a buddha boy come to earth. Were we deep in the Buddha’s realms together? Not in the way you might think. We spent almost two weeks searching for a used car to replace my beloved, Maxie, whose time had come. There was grieving for the shedding of that form (yes, I grieved for all that she and I had been through, all the miles and spaces we had traveled, thousands upon thousands of highways and dirt roads across the USA and Canada). I had thought we were both to get new forms, magical ones of a pegasus for her, light body for me.
It all came about differently than I thought, I heard that it was “all purposeful” including the timing of the engine warning lights signaling transmission failure. I had not considered entering the banking world yet was guided to take out a loan from the credit union. I was guided to buy from a car dealership. All unfamiliar to me. I had no idea what kind of car I required as I have no idea of the life ahead. I don’t see myself as a commuter, will I still drive long distances? Do I need power for mountain roads? Will camping still play a big role in my life? Good fuel economy, solid frame? What were the components that I require? How long will cars continue to be a part of our lives? How long will money continue to play a role? It was difficult to make sense of it all as I live so much in my vision of the future, that this in between land feels unreal.
My elder son loves cars and so assisted me in my search. It was exhausting, frustrating work for us both. Coming into contact with corporations, consumerism, banking….was far out of my comfort zone. I could feel the sting of centuries of usury, deception, manipulation, and programming. All designed to enslave mankind. The weight on men’s souls, the bowed backs as they struggled to provide for their families. There has been so much suffering and pain.
The structures of this world are collapsing. I was shown how purposeful it was for my son, who is highly conscious of all the control that has shaped and formed this present reality, and I, to touch into these systems with our light. Many of us are being called to engage with the old in order to hasten its demise. We both had physical reactions to the energies that we were meeting. Nausea, chills, fevers racing as the energies moved through us both. It took its toll. We were exhausted at the end of each day’s search. The masculine environment challenged my feminine in many ways. So many layers being confronted in what appeared to be a simple purchase. I am grateful that it is done. Grateful to have had my son standing with me. Grateful for our time together. Grateful for our knowing of all that we were facing.
I have returned to beloved Mount Shasta, traveling in Maxie’s new form. My body, not feeling as shiny and bright as hers. I have been resting, allowing the mountain to infill me. Images flash of other mountains, lakes that I am to sit near. My body needing time to prepare for summer outdoors, under the stars. I need physical strength and stamina. Everything ahead shimmers, bending and folding as I approach it. I am calling this the summer of love. Sensing that awaiting us all on a level we have not experienced in human form. Trusting in that love as time disappears like a mirage in the desert. If you look directly at it, it flickers and fades.
In this now, the colors of the spring flowers, the smell of the rain dampened earth, the mist shrouded mountain, are imbuing me with their healing properties. I am drinking them in. The seeds have long ago been planted. I am no longer seeking teachings, practices, outside guidance or gatherings for nourishment. Mother Nature is nurturing my seeds, she is an old hand at this work. I trust in her abilities as well as my own. I know that I am awakening daily to more of my beauty, my mastery. It has been there all along, but as the seeds long buried, spring to life, I marvel at who I am. At who you are. At the beauty and variety of beings present on this planet of love. I rest and open to the rain, the sunlight, the starlight. I am in the ground, feeling the swelling of the seed. The discomfort felt as I struggle to break the shell of the old form. Yet, already breathing in the fragrance from the blossom that I am. All contained in this now. The wonder, the wonder of bearing witness. We are privileged participants in this shift of the ages.