I awoke in the wee hours as dawn was lighting the sky. There was a layer of snow on the rooftops outside my second story window. It must have turned cold in the night. I drifted back to sleep. Yesterday I had made it out to get a library card, as I love accessing the library where I am. I stopped to buy food to make veggie burritos, went through the check out lane, then surprised myself by heading to the deli for a sandwich as an immediate need for food arose. I ate till the sense of fullness sated me and went down for a few hours nap. I often feel urgency in my need for food, rest, movement. I could actually feel greater aspects of myself, getting my body into bed, safely tucked in, so as to allow myself to be on time for council meetings and creative endeavors in other dimensional spaces. The fullness in the belly allowed the long sleep necessary, just as we did for our babies, before a nap. We are being looked after like infants, my higher self, the caring parent.
This morning I desired a chocolate croissant and a coffee. There were other things I desired to do in town… a haircut is needed, veggies for a soup…but I can only do one thing at a time at present. No multi-tasking for this woman and I used to be great at it. So, drove into town, got my warm chocolate croissant and coffee, stopped along the road to commune with the mountain in her misty robe, came back and sat in the sun, savoring every bite and drink as well as the smells and sights about me. Pine trees wafting their fragrance, tulips so perky and bright even after being covered for a day in a blanket of snow, watched a bluejay squawking……he lifted his wings in the air with every squawk. Quite a morning workout!
I am savoring this dreamtime. We are transforming into more and more of our true beings. It is quite a process, we will not pass this way again. I feel such tenderness for this being, Linda Marie. I watched a short video (Facebook brings many things into my world) made by the Dove soap company. They targeted a few big cities around the world, put up signs at the entrance to someplace that in the video only women entered. Above one entrance was the word, beautiful, above the other, average. They had hidden cameras to watch women as they chose which door to enter. Most entered the average door though in interviews many women spoke of how they wanted to know themselves as beautiful and feel it enough to enter the beautiful door. It was so powerful to watch as women struggled to access that thought of their own beauty. I was in tears. The conditioning has been so strong and relentless to feel less than, to feel small and powerless, to assign positive attributes to others but not self.
I am dreaming a world where all would enter the beautiful doorway, as we would each know on a cellular level, that we are beautiful. To know our blossoming, to feel the beauty arise in a continuous circuit within, to have it reflected in the eyes and words and actions of others about us.
Let us see the tender shoots of each one’s growth, open to the remembrance of our magnificence, catch the starlight shining forth from our eyes. It never was about the outer form. We each choose our form as the perfect expression for what we came here to do. These dear bodies serve us well. All the rules and ideas about what beauty and health is, are imposed upon us. It is time to look inside and read the writings of our own history in the cosmos. We are masters, come to play on and with this beautiful planet.
I spoke with my eldest son, who often feels the weight of the world. He was feeling joy. He said a smile kept arising on his face that threatened to lift him off his feet! My heart sang with his joy. In this moment, it wafts through me in a smile as I listen to a rendition of Alleluia and sew buttons onto my comforter cover. Simple pleasures that fill me with satisfaction. The idea had been there for weeks as the down comforter spilled out from its cover and now the moment of joy in the repair, was present.
As I move about in my slumber, I trust fully in this process. Knowing that my time of activity and passion will come again, in its perfect moment. Trusting the fertile nature of this time and that I will live to see and experience its fruition. Even in that, no attachment either way as I am grateful to live this now moment and offer what is mine to do. I am seeing more about me, embodying their gifts, letting go of what no longer serves. We are growing in leaps and bounds. What wonderful beings we are. Feeling your beauty and my own with a grateful heart. Alleluia.