No Sleep As Full Moon and Good Friday Approach

imageThe sky is beginning to grow lighter as I lie here surveying my night. I have bitten all of my fingernails, something I have not done in years and years. It was a childhood habit only overcome at the age of eighteen when I was to be an exchange student to a small town in West Australia. I realized then that I was being given an opportunity to remake my life, to transform from a quiet, shy young woman with bitten nails into one who did not hide my hands nor my heart. Forty years later, I am set for another transformation. I am glad I am no longer carrying shame for having bitten my nails, somehow I found some comfort in the action that helped me through this night. Our humanness is so tender, these dear bodies and personalities that have experienced so much.

A plate with the remains of my one a.m. snack of cheese, crackers and chocolate chips….(the chosen snack of champions!), rests on the nightstand. A book, reread for the dozenth time, tossed on the floor. Duvet twisted with the tossing and turnings as my body tried to find comfort through the long hours. Computer in use again after late night facebook scrolling. I am grateful for the moon lighting the night sky, illuminating Mount Shasta so I had the comfort of her white robed presence through the night. The geese have flown over every hour, their honks a reassurance to my ears along with the train whistles as they hurled through the night.

Tomorrow morning at this time, I will be well down from the mountain where we will drive to watch the five a.m. Lunar eclipse. I am intending transformation. Opening to the gifts flowing in for us all. Today is Good Friday, the day this Catholic girl walked the stations of the cross in humility and faith, went to the church hall for the final fish fry of Lent and finally home to say all the prayers I knew before allowing myself to sleep, the weight of the cross on my back.

i am grateful to no longer feel that weight. To walk in my own mastery. To have recalled that lifetime and drained the pain from it, knowing now the beauty of what was accomplished. Feeling the part I played and how we are reenacting the pageant with a larger cast to a much wider audience. This one holds tears of joy as we glimpse the freedom that is come for all.

Our eclipse grid

Our eclipse grid

The soft pink light of dawn barely brushes the sky. My heart overflows with tears to be in this now. I feel all the struggles, the striving, the living the questions, the silent pain, the yearning for home, the heartbreak of the plans  that failed over lifetimes. All present and accounted for. And yet…we are here. The excitement is visceral as we sense the tipping point has been reached. We have this! There is no turning back. Mother Earth is on the move and we are with her. I have been working deep underground for this time between eclipses. The head and body pressure has been enormous as I and others offered ourselves as safety valves to release some of the pressure. Only so much can be let off in this manner. Some of the shifting will show up on the surface where folks will be affected. My heart grieves with this yet also holds the greater vision and feels the joy of the final pieces coming into play to anchor us fully into this new era of love.

6 thoughts on “No Sleep As Full Moon and Good Friday Approach

  1. “Our humanness is so tender, these dear bodies and personalities that have experienced so much.”
    Indeed~ Blessings of Spring’s Resurrection energies be with you and all the world!

    • Dear Robert,

      Yes, blessings for all the world! How have you fared this weekend? Lots of rest and stillness for me, deep fatigue at times. Rejuvenation, resurrection, renewal….ready I am!

      Lovelight streaming from my heart to yours,

      • Dear Linda,
        Much of my experience mirrors, or at least feels as though it does, your own experiences. I was surprised at suddenly feeling much tiredness as well over several days at times. Feeling the need to continue letting go of attitudes and coping mechanisms that can no longer take me where I need to go. The latest focus has been on letting go of the need to “figure it all out”. There is so much disinformation and so little real, vetted information out there today, that is leaves one discouraged in trying to understand the motivations of it all and where we are headed. I realized I needed to let go of the Virgo analysis I am famous for and try to simply trust that we as a people and planet are moving in the right direction and all will be revealed in the perfect timing. I have to remind myself that I am not responsible for the world…just myself. One of the hardest areas to apply that truth is with family and close friends. We want so much to be helpful and to raise others up, but often times we must simply let them go and find their own way in their own time. Thank you for asking! :)

        • Dear Robert,

          Thank you for sharing. I understand that Virgo desire to know. Trust…surrendering over and over, it seems we are pushed on every level until there is nothing left but surrender. Trust and faith then rise up and the knowing flows that all is truly well! All is on track. It is more and more apparent that assisting others is no longer permitted as each must face their shadows themselves. Our love can enfold them, knowing that they have access to all that they require and their higher selves have them in hand.

          We were taught to assist outwardly and are discovering that our greatest gift to self and thereby all others, is to clear all dross inside, allowing the lovelight more opportunity to shine. The love does the magic as we scrub our chalices clean and offer them to the Creator.

          The gift in all this is in that surrender comes the release of struggle and striving. There is a peace that softly begins to permeate, an acceptance of the now.

          I am so grateful to be sharing this journey with you and so many others on a conscious level. We can support one another when the fatigue and weight are too much. I am so grateful for your beautiful heartlight beaming!

          Lovelight flowing,

          • Dear Linda,
            You do understand so well this journey we are walking together though through the illusion of separateness. I am grateful to you as well, because when you are brave enough to share your inner journey with me and others through this journal, we get to feel as though we are not so alone…and that there are others who know exactly what we are experiencing. I so appreciate you taking the time to respond to my heart, just as you are navigating some tricky areas in your own life just now. We could really relate on the old car issues! I know you will be guided to the best solution at the proper time, regarding your car issues…because you have Milarepa’s ear and are listening intently for the clues you need to hear. Best wishes always for your health and happiness.
            P.S. Please feel free to not respond to me every time, if you feel inclined or are busy. I am strong enough to refrain from being slighted. Especially having felt your warm regards personally. Thank you.

          • Dear Robert,

            You made me laugh. Milarepa’s ear….that brings in a memory for me. Interesting how they circle about till all charge is neutralized.

            I respond as it is my pleasure and do sense you are able whether there is response or not. For me, it is the same. I move as I feel it, trust others to do the same. Freedom for self and that translates into freedom for all others. Obligations, commitments, duty…all footsteps washed in the sand. Now there is only this moment and where it leads.

            It is heartening ( love that word) to know others are feeling and experiencing as we do. We so want that sense of belonging. Feel it in my dreamscape, our lovepods where each is appreciated and seen for their beauty. It moves closer.

            We are dreaming our world into being where love reigns.
            I am grateful for your presence and heartlight.

            Lovelight streaming with a smile,

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *