Exhausted and Grateful

Love this sign on the bridge I walk daily...no jumping off allowed! We are crossing the bridge into the new. Once you set foot upon it, there is no turning back.

Love this sign on the bridge I walk daily…no jumping off allowed! We are crossing the bridge into the new. Once you set foot upon it, there is no turning back.

Did you hear and feel the crowds of spectators cheering in the stands? We did it. We have accomplished so much with this Vernal equinox/eclipse. For myself, this past couple of weeks was the culmination of every lifetime since I first incarnated on the planet. All hands were on deck as we worked to allow the greatest clearing possible for every man, woman and child. We all felt the intensity as triggers excavated the muck and mire from our depths, dredging it to the surface to be illuminated and consumed by our heartlight. I certainly felt flashes of anger that held the fire of a dragon, desiring to scorch everything in its path. The test was could I feel the anger and not judge myself for my feelings? A friend assisted me with a beautiful demonstration when we went for a walk with her dog. She is a peaceful being but would bark loudly if anyone came close to my friend’s car. The dog was protective of her space. My friend shared how when she had been in her moon time, she would “bark ” at anyone who came into her space. That might appear as bitchiness but she framed it as her ” bark” that alerted others to stay out of her space. She honored that part of herself as she claimed what she needed at that time. How refreshing! I know I spent time every month beating myself up for “barking” when truly I needed my space. Her way was full of grace.

This last week, I witnessed the highest possible potential being searched for in every moment, for each of us as we move forward. Truly awe inspiring, affirming for me, how deeply we are loved and cherished.

Crystals from the gathering, gifted by a friend to go out with each one, where they feel led to place them in the earth.

Crystals from the gathering, gifted by a friend to go out with each one, where they feel led to place them in the earth.

Today I am exhausted. I awoke to stillness here in my former home. So grateful for the familiarity and beauty that offers a peaceful respite from the gathering I was called to be a part of. I felt gratitude for my friend and former hubby for allowing me use of his home for the weekend. I had had a dream of him tearing out the bushes and plants I had planted, smashing our son’s sculptures that decorate the gardens. I knew it was a further loosening of my connection to this home a letting go of old patterns, of all that no longer serves. The thought flowed through of turning back the clock, wanting to move back into this house and the former partnership, after all, he is softer and more aware these days. I have not had this thought since the divorce. It was as fleeting as a breath. I thought of the years since, the money spent on travel, on assisting my children to find their path, on assisting others. That money could have secured me a home of my own. I would not be living this transient lifestyle. How I appreciate my mind! Our minds can be intense in their role, imprisoning us in the old through regret, shame, guilt. I had not felt regret in all these seven years but it surged through, seeking the cleansing fires of love. Tears flowed washing the emotional wave to the shore. Emptied of self, of form, dissolved in the sands. The next wave lifted what remained and returned me to the ocean of love that is my home.

The morning before, after a mostly sleepless and pain filled night (the body feels so heavy in these energies) I awoke from an intense dreamscape. I was carrying a little baby in my arms. I was opening doors, searching for the parents of this baby. Each door was an opening into a different dimensional space…astral, celestial and so on. None the one I was seeking. Until I opened a door where two men were present. They both felt familiar to me. One came forth and kissed me. We shot in a spiral of energy straight to Source. My eyes flew open wide and I exclaimed, ” Who are you? ” he said, “ I am Adam. I sm your beloved.” I asked him whose baby I held. He told me that the baby was ours, birthed together in another dimension. It was a power filled dream. Adam, the first man of Biblical tales or the Adam Kadmon body blueprint we are to inhabit. It left me full of wonder and echoed my knowing that my heart’s desires are swirling in my field, about to be made manifest.

Sitting on a throne nature offered me!

Sitting on a throne nature offered me!

I see myself using my hands and heartlight to create form. In the shimmering landscape of my heart, all is malleable and desires to co-create. This reality has been dense, difficult to move. Where we are headed, it is fluid and form arises and dissipates in response to our thoughts. I have known this for ages but the knowing is becoming more visceral as the frequencies support it.

I am lying here in appreciation of my courageous heart. This has not been an easy path. I have arisen each day, opened to my guidance, following it on many difficult pathways. How beautifully I have walked it! Today as I feel gratitude for each of you, your exquisite hearts of love, I bow before my own in reverence and love.

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