An overwhelming desire to gather my family and loved ones about me is running through me. I am wanting our love pods now! In my now, this little unit of three is breaking up when my heart is desiring to hold on, draw closer, to one another, to the earth. I surrender to the flow. The in breath and out breath. My mind can make no sense of it. Timing…I do trust the timing of it all. I sense my heightened heart’s desire of the past few days is a sign of the shift we are all moving through. Perhaps there is this going out, in order to come together in a new way.
Desire for a home to call my own rises up, to live a more integrated life, to be part of a community. My heart feels on fire with all of this. I do not know how to create any of it. I know it is a frequency, harmonics and magnetics that draw it all together. I sense that the intensity of my desire is what will bring me to the landscape I dream of. Time after time, I have observed myself going through these periods of intense desire. There is the dissolving of who I know myself to be and a shift to a new landscape. I trust the process. The movement takes me ever closer to that inner flashpoint that transcends time and space. In my daydreams, I often journey to my love pod, witnessing the new arrivals, settling folks in, playing with the babies, picking flowers and dancing in the moonlight.Today there is the sunshine. The packing of gifts for a dear one to take to our daughter in the frozen far north. The packing of my bags for a move to Mount Shasta to witness spring, the shopping and packing of supplies for my son to head back to Colorado. An offer of a freshly ground and brewed cup of coffee, the mocking birds singing their bright song, the air calm after days of high winds… gratitude is a presence that brings tears.
There is no understanding, no linear projection to follow. This breath, this moment. Sunlight displaying the fingerprints on the glass of the back door, rainbows bouncing off the crystal that has brought me joy in countless windows I have looked out. I love this house that I helped to create. It is a wrench each time I leave it though there were times when it felt like a prison. Now, there is only tenderness and love.
We are often called to walk away from what limits us, in order to discover what lights our hearts. Then the freedom comes to return once more and know the gift that was given in the place of darkness and pain. I have come full circle in so many ways, sensing the completion of spirals that offer a jumping off point to new ones awaiting creation.So much has softened in our world. A friend was sharing how in her drawing into herself, feeding only herself, letting go of care taking of others, a hard place inside, melted. She witnessed her beloved loving her, steady and true, despite her pulling her energy away. She knew herself loved for herself, not for her actions. Oh, what a gift this is when we recognize
the miracles as they take place.