The Gift of Frustration and Dissolution

A few bright leaves on this dormant maple, the rebirthing within the dying.

A few bright leaves on this dormant maple, the rebirthing within the dying.

Today is my birthday, 59 years of age. This year it feels significant as I am being asked to take a leap of faith. I have leaped, jumped and thrown myself forward many a time, but this feels different. There is a newness to the energy available. I sense that the magic is there, awaiting me to bring it to life. The frequency of our earth has risen to a point where we can begin to co-create with all that is.

There has been an inwardness, a desire to be with oneself that I have noticed in those about me and myself. Seeking that quiet place of stillness that has been emptied out. The Linda Marie that has been up to this point has dissolved. I no longer have a framework of identity to hang on or structure to move from. I know only that I know nothing. There is no form to inhabit. Only space and beingness. I appreciate the role that frustration has played in breaking down my ideas of self. I became so frustrated and tired of the life I have been living, the me that I have been, that there was only surrender. In that “giving up” was the opening I did not know, I had longed for. Offering it all up, the emptiness, the destruction, the shell.

Here I am, housed in an elemental physical being which I no longer have the energy, desire or will to animate. Take it, use it, house it…it is yours. I offered it to the Creator as there remained no “me” to direct it in any way.

The light illuminating the ferns, bringing out their rich greenness. Allowing myself to be illuminated or shadowed as the Sun of my being desires.

The light illuminating the ferns, bringing out their rich greenness. Allowing myself to be illuminated or shadowed as the Sun of my being desires.

I have noticed this in many, the detachment, the moving inward, the dropping away from drama, from control, from desire, the waves of sadness as all falls away. So many tell me of staying up later than their partner, getting up earlier as they seek that solitary time. I have witnessed the space offered for life to unfold rather that the old push and pull. All part of the divine dance. This, a step I did not know existed except for the saints and mystics of the ages. Yet, it is here for us all. Within reach of our ordinary, pedestrian lives.

I awake and allow the Creator to do as She/He will. Animate the form, flow or not flow. I have no preference. I am done with that dance of duality.

There is body discomfort, so many with back pain, chest and head issues. Strange electrical shocks in an elbow, pressure in an ear, sore throat for an hour or two that morphs into side pain. I hear that we are recalibrating, rewiring, regenerating. My back has gone through cycles of pain. I had a few days free, felt the joy of  exercising, moving lightly. Then a spasm again and limited movement as the energy arose to move southwest. Hmmm, yes, I feel this leap to a new state, a new place to be here and yet my back is not able to sit comfortably. Packing and a twenty hour drive ahead did not seem to line up. Yet I felt only that all would work, not to be concerned. Allow. There is this softening that came in with the new year. A dream like buffer of sorts that keeps anything from being sharp or intense. “All is well” plays softly in the background throughout the day.

A zen garden offering its serenity.

A zen garden offering its serenity.

I have moved out of the “flatlands” where the landscape was an unremitting gray. I find myself in a new space, each moment arising in freedom as I have no hands on the controls. I am observing all from a place of wonder and curiosity. What will present itself? I know only that this is the opening and I am moving through it. Expansion explodes on my inner vision as my true being flows in. I sense that we are all about to burst our former bonds, to fly free as the butterflies. This is the quantum leap that creates a new world.

I see each one’s light bursting forth like a star. I see the earth being covered by the light of you and you and me until there is not an inch of ground that is not bathed in this loving light. That is what it takes. To surrender and allow our truth, our glorious divine nature to shine through. One must be emptied to make enough room for the fullness to enter.

The dreamscape, softening this world. What is real, what is illusion?

The dreamscape, softening this world. What is real, what is illusion?

Words cannot describe it. There is a wonder as I live it. Weaving rays of light so bright, I feel a new world begin to shimmer into form. There is a deep peace in this allowing, this being lived rather than living. Not my will, but thine be done. This has been the magic I sought for so long. I know now that the end of seeking is when the living truly begins. I am so grateful.

10 thoughts on “The Gift of Frustration and Dissolution

  1. Dear Linda Marie,

    Happy Birthday Dear One.

    You weave such a Beautiful Radiance with you Liquid Golden Light.

    Blessings on this new adventure. I so trust your Inner Knowing to come forth and lead you as always exactly where you need to BE.

    I love you Dear Spirit Sister…thanks for BEING…

    Bonnie Lou

    • Dear Bonnie Lou,

      Thank you, I am grateful fir this new year of expansion unfurling for us all. Right now, I am being with my back that desires stillness and walks …no sitting!

      I love you,

  2. Love to you on your birthday dear Linda.
    We are indeed blessed. All is well, okay is the word I have been hearing.
    Love Maggie

  3. HAPPY BIRTHDAY Precious and dear One. I can feel my heart beating with yours.

    Thank You for Being here with us all – Thank You for coming and sharing your wisdom and sweetness……showing us what it is to “be lived’. The end of seeking yielding true Freedom.

    Love you Forever

    • Dear Kathleen,

      Ah, the beating hearts…we truly can feel the rhythm now. Freedom, a word with such dimension!

      The love is forever, what grace!
      Linda xxx

  4. Enjoyed your poetry with words in this post…as I do in all of them. So nice to know that others feel much the same as we do. I am in tune with your journey~ may we all receive the blessing of clarity to balance the uncertainties we face daily at this time. Hope you celebrated You appropriately on your birthday! Much love and blessings be strewn across your path….

    • Dear Robert,

      Thank you for your sweet flame, it comes in as nourishment. My birthday was quiet and rich with blessings. Amazing how much love we can drink in!

      Returning liquidlovelight your way. Glad that we are traveling together on this journey of being love.

  5. Belated Happy Birthday Linda! Blessings of joyous.being for the coming year. Year does not even resonate now as we are in the forever now. Thank you for continuing to write as I too didn’t expect to still be here now at 60.Very glad I decided to stay, grow and allow The Light to flow. Indeed, They will be done.
    Much Love,

    • Dear Nancy,

      I am so glad you are here. Time is disappearing as we step through each moment. We are our future selves, landing in. I am so grateful that your flame burns bright!

      Much love,

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