This holy days’ season, I gifted myself with my daughter’s presence. We had six glorious days together. Her dad and I took a further step together in creating that crucible of love that every child looks to from the ones who birthed them. Harmony and joy came on the heels of challenge. All part of the mix. Finding our way in the moments, allowing the stumbling as well as the grace. As a family, we are fortunate to have not made a tradition of gifts and shopping, rather good food, board games, cookies, music, movies and the lying around time that offers comfort and rest.
Next week, I am gifting myself with my youngest son’s presence for Christmas week. His new love is flying in to join us. My elder son and his love will be here. We have the tree, lit and decorated and wafting its fragrance in the air. My daughter and I have filled the freezer with the traditional anise seed cut-out Christmas cookies. My elder son joined in the decorating and took it to a new level with his artistry.My favorite time of day is in the wee hours of the morning…the four a.m. wake-up. The house is slumbering, I add a log to the banked fire, plug in the tree lights and allow the silence to wrap itself about me. I witness the first streaks of light as dawn breaks. My heart fills with the gift of this life. Thought arises how all my children and former hubby are partnered. I am here with myself. I see the growth both ways provide. I did not envision this time of aloneness yet I know how necessary it has been for me. I cherish my time alone, am able to sink in with gratitude to the rich landscape inside. Silence and stillness are comfortable friends that nourish. In their depths, I sense a partner appearing for this next phase, in or out of form. Not attached yet it feels like the next step in my evolution to create a greater chalice to offer to this lovelight. Trusting to it all. Not attached to any outcome. Not knowing where/who/how I will be in this time unfolding. Feeling fully and allowing the flow.
Holy days…Solstice with its promise of the return of life giving, light. Christmas, Dewali, Hanukkah….all celebrating the light. The Christ consciousness returning to the planet as we open our hearts to receive this aspect of ourselves. To see the Christ child in each one, to share the love that makes us all family. The colored lights, the uplifting music proclaiming joy to the world, the quiet times of togetherness, the gathering about the table rich with food….all there to spark our remembering. We are the Christ child, we are the holy ones. We have come to lift a planet and ourselves back to the realms of love.