The Solstice came and went and I did not depart. There was a death and a resurrection which I sense so many of us went through. The following day I felt wrung out, limp, enervated. I spent the day on the couch reading a tale of mages and dragons, warmed by the salamanders dancing in the wood stove. A myriad of feelings arose, I allowed them all their time on the center stage of my awareness. It was an interesting show; depression, exhaustion, joy, confusion, peace, chaos, sorrow…the line up was quite impressive. My body had no energy to move away, I was a captive audience. I clapped for each one’s performance, grateful for their authenticity and courage to step out and be fully seen. I went to bed with a blanket of peace about me.
My former hubby and I have taken turns in the kitchen, me in charge of cookies, he is the bread baker and soup maker. He cleaned up the yard debris, I cleaned the house. We noted the ease and grace we both felt, moving so lightly and joyfully through Christmas preparations without the old frenetic energy. We took breaks to sit in the sun and eat our snacks. We watched long loops of gossamer threads waft on the slight breeze to land on a chair, a plant, the grass. The sunlight showcased its shimmering. It looked to originate from the nearest tree, ten feet up. It continued to spread its luminescence in a swath of a dozen feet or more. Now it seemed it must come from a taller tree, set further back in the yard. We pondered if it was a giant spider weaving this massive carpet of sticky delight. Where did it come from? We decided that it did not matter, rather we could sit and enjoy the wonder of it without knowing any facts. Grace weaving a carpet at our feet.
A friend called and we wove understanding between us, the warp and woof interacting to deepen our knowing. I so love the tapestry of understanding we weave! We were speaking of the Solstice and this new space we have landed in. We felt the hush, the Divine Mother with her finger to her lips, shhh. Quieting us, soothing us, wrapping us in her magical pink blanket of love. Oh, this is the meaning of Silent Night! The world holds its breath for a moment in awe and wonder as the Christ light enters each heart. We are each offered this gift. All who choose to unwrap it this Holy season, whatever their religious belief, will fall silent in its presence. The Christ light is our birthright. We are Christed beings come again to bring forth the memories of the Oneness of which we are all a part. We are invited in these last days of the year, to step out from under the dark cloak of despair and duality to don our radiant raiments of liquidlovelight.
I slip on this shimmering gown, to stand poised in the doorway of the new. The light is blinding and disorienting. I take deep breaths to feel my center. There is no knowing. I allow my monkey mind its chatter. It is muffled, quieted. My heart assures me that it will lead. My crown chakra wears a crown of dancing energy that feels like faeries’feet, lightly landing as they dance their joy. My feet send forth shoots of light into this dear earth in gratitude. I allow her answering to flow up to my heart, a shoot of emerald lovelight. We both smile. I open my being in the center of that faery ring on my crown, sending my liquidlovelight in a wild stream out to our sun and the Great Central Sun. Our love, a power hose with a reach that spans light years in an instant. In stillness, I await an answer and it comes in a shower of lovelight, golden in hue. I drink it in, an elixir that infills, nourishes.
I know nothing of what lies beyond this doorway, this moment in time. I know only that it will be new. That I am done with the life of the wandering mystic. That chapter has closed. We have done our work well. We have pushed against hardship, we have suffered under the weight and density of the despair mankind has created and lived. We have cleared lands, connected grid lines, anchored light, used ourselves as acupuncture needles to bring our earth and ourselves back to health. We have fought our inner dragons, wrestled with ancient demons come to sup on our light. We have been victorious with the aid of our brothers and sisters from the stars and the inner earth. The heavenly hosts of angels have had our backs along with the ascended masters, the devas of the elemental kingdoms, the elements of the earth. All came to our aid to complete this Herculean task.
We have become so used to the struggle, that we are reluctant to lay down our swords, to shed our armor. It is now safe to do so. Lay it all down. Let the tears fall. The earth receives them in gratitude for a job well done. The Mother beckons with her sweet smile. I go to her, innocence returning with each step I take from the armor I have shed. Oh, as she lifts me into her lap of love and cradles me to her breast, sobs shudder through me. I did not know! I did not know! I AM the Christ child. I am her child of love. I am the Holy infant. I did not know this truth my cells are singing. I am loved! I am cherished!
I knew I was loved by Mother Mary, she has long been my mother, ever since my parents disowned me, almost forty years ago, she has been the mother I looked to in my life. But this! To look at the Christ child in her arms and see myself. I never imagined it would be. She smiles down at me, her tenderness a benediction, her words soundlessly land in my heart.
“My dear child, I am so pleased that you have opened your gift! I can see that it pleases you. Yes, you are my holy child. You carry the Christ light. There is a halo about your head. This which is now known, may never be taken from you. It is offered to each of my children this Holy season of love. May all unwrap their gifts. A mother’s heart knows only joy in the giving. May each of my children open their hearts to receive. I love and cherish each heart as my own.”
Yeshua, my brother comes now to hold my hand as Mary rocks me. His smile is so radiant and his words stream in:
“Dear sister, you now know the truth of who you are. We are siblings bathed in our Father’s/Mother’s love. The time is ripe for this awakening. It is time for each to know their own beauty. It is the time I foretold, when you will do greater works than I, in my life as Jesus/Yeshua. You have accepted the Christ light with all its wonders and responsibility. As I told you, my burden is light. Wear your light with lightness, spread the joy of your being. The Golden Age of Peace has dawned. Welcome Home. my little sister. Welcome Home.”
I rest in this, I rest in this. Glory to God, peace and goodwill to all men. Hallelujah, hallelujah!