It hasn’t been a smooth ride up to this Christmas time emotionally. There has been muck that has come to be embraced in the cauldron of love. Relationships are changing as we step into our truth more and more. I have been a witness as well as a participant. A gift triggered a sharp pain, unlocking a nugget of “not being seen” that was hidden in my heart. I expressed confusion as I felt its heat flame up within me. It had victim energy, the old sense of being sidelined, an afterthought. I was grateful for the relatively quick movement into a broader perspective that allowed me to see that it was not about anyone but myself. Yet the energy cycled through a few more times in this intense week of contraction as I found myself struggling, mired in quicksand of old patterns that threatened to engulf me. There was a calling to be with the uncomfortableness, to allow it all room.
It is now days later and just coming to a place where I can write. Irritability, grouchiness, anxiety, sensitivity were all turned to high within me. Everything about me jangled my nerves, my altar felt old, any way of connecting to the earth or Source, felt impossible. Christmas lights and food felt so dense and heavy. I was so fully in the energies that I forget that these are signs that I am about to make a leap in consciousness. A friend called, noting that I had not posted or written in awhile. She had had a dream where I was sitting on a ledge, laughing and joy filled. Then I fell off and disappeared.
Yesterday it all culminated in the greatest disappearance I have done as yet. I dissolved fully into the earth. As new energies stream in, we think of integrating them into our beings. We sometimes forget that part of the evolutionary cycle is the dissolution of what was. This “I ” needed to dissolve in order to become something new.
Yesterday, at the height of my contraction energies, a friend called about going out to do some earth work. Usually when I am feeling this way, I cannot even go out to my own backyard, no less a public park. Yet, a part of me, had been waiting for this call. I said yes and went to meet her. She told me that she was to honor me as the stone temple that I am. I began to sob as her words hit a resounding chord. I Am a living temple of light as are you.
We went to the stone temple area of a local park where folks have stacked rocks. Our power place where we did ceremony for the Solstice, was just beyond it. There is a huge oak tree, a majestic being that has spread her branches over the rise where she resides. On the other side of the path is a wall of rocks from the nearby river. So in this little valley between the two hillsides, I lay down, by the triple spiral rock formation that we had created for the Solstice. Unbeknownst to either of us, we both work with the triple spiral and wear the symbol on us. Mine is from the isle of Iona in Scotland and is on a chain around my neck and hers are earrings she wears.
I was guided to lie down and my friend began to place crystals that we had brought as well as rocks upon and about me. Holding rocks in my palms and feeling them on and surrounding me was the most exquisite sensation. I became a mountain range and knew the strength and majesty of it. The “I” released and I was the rushing sound of air moving through tunnels within my body. I was in awe of the spaces within, knowing I had not accessed them before. Waterfalls and cataracts flew by, whooosh, the energy I was flowed through endless passages that were fractals unfolding and folding upon themselves. The cosmos was within my body! The tunnels moved deep into the caverns of the inner earth, flashing darkness and brilliant light, then out to the sun and beyond, golden chambers so bright. The void was there, I felt its embrace and floated on its currents. All began to morph, mountains became liquid, water a solid form, air and earth moving in an undulating spiral dance. The earth must bring all to balance and all upon her will feel this.
We are fluid beings, balls of energy that pulse and shapeshift. Whole cities being swallowed by waves and before a gasp can even be uttered, new mountain ranges arising in their place. Water where there has been land, land where there has been water……everything is all. It is all one energy, one source. I felt myself one with all these changes, saw the liquidlovelight that I AM, infusing the elements as they moved in their expressions. The human body is the vehicle through which all can anchor upon this earth plane. Mine a chalice offered for this service, bowing to the light, to the direction of my own I AM.
I traveled for an age upon the currents of the air within and without. I heard words come from my friend and from my mouth but could sense only sound, vibration, tone. I felt her calling me back. I was so at home in this space, this knowing of self as all, that there felt no time, no thing to return to. I was ALL. Little did I know that two and a half hours had passed.
When I had gotten into my friend’s car to make the journey together to the park, I had asked her to stop while I returned to my car for a belt of bells that I often wear for the faeries enjoyment. These were key as my friend picked up these bells and began to shake them over my body. It was as if a thousand faeries were flitting about me, calling me back to this realm. They reminded me that there was more for me to do before I could let go this life and float in the all. The act of sitting up was painful and laboriously slow. Each movement felt as if I were ripping up earth and sending boulders crashing. Like a sleeping giant come to life. Another friend had slept for the time we were involved, her presence, a canopy of grace that shielded us as we were drawn so deep. A trinity of beings, playing with the earth.
I came home and slept for twelve hours. A friend this morning confirmed that it will take three days for my body to adjust to this new state. We are amazing beings! I felt this way of offering myself as a chalice, to be a new role for me, as the earth changes accelerate. My being blessing all the elements, as they flow through, with liquidlovelight. We are one with the earth. All beings upon her will soon feel this in a cellular way. Whether we flow under or around or within, we are one stream. There is no death, no endings. Only this fluid expansion of light and sound. We are one ribbon of light, offering our color to the grand weaving of the warp and woof of this new earth. What a privilege! What joy! Co-creators, one and all, as we surrender to the one light, the one tone, the one shout of joy, the Creator of us all. Blessed be.