The significance of walking into a new land continues to inform me on many levels. Walking through this gateway on arrival signified an entrance into a new way of being. If I missed it, there was this being shocking me into wakefulness!
This was illustrated last night when I came across a video from a friend that contained images of him and another, who are both dear to my heart. I felt an intense wave of longing for them, almost a grieving of missing them as if they had passed from this life. My heart felt it so deeply and yet quickly that the tears hardly had time to form before the energy was moving through. I was left feeling rather empty. I questioned my decision of a month ago to not see these two when I had the chance. I examined my reasons to see if it was false pride or indeed a question of honoring myself as I had concluded. I had chosen not see Joseph (could have seen Eagle but they were traveling together so to see one was to see both) as when we had last parted, Joseph had asked for my contact information and chose to be the one to initiate the next contact. He stated that he could not come to me while he yet contained any darkness. Eagle and I were in contact at the time of their visit to California but Joseph was silent. Eagle reminded me that he was a bystander to the relationship between Joseph and I and it was mine to find clarity in. I opted to honor myself and him by not forcing the meeting before its time. Indeed, surrendering and accepting that that time might never come. (Simple statement but strenous heart workout there!) My heart in its power has often taken on the work of the other in its desire to express love. I have enough for both, has been my thought. I have been shown by the goddess mothers, the importance of honoring myself. Of allowing the love to come to me rather than pushing in any way. I am becoming wiser and allowing all their path as I tend to my own.
I went to sleep and had a vivid dream. I was with Joseph, the one I had known formerly as my beloved. He was fully in his mastery, embodying his divinity in a way that I had known to be his truth. We rejoiced in our heart connection and were busy working on a book project together. The joy I felt in seeing him whole was an explosion of love. I was in pure delight. Our souls were in perfect communion and all experiences of separation in this dimension were dissolved.
What to do with these pieces? I chatted with my elder son and we pieced together an understanding. We are being asked to let go of not only the old world, our old belief systems, but also the old ways of connection and relationship. Roles are being dropped, masks are coming off and we are learning to relate to one another’s divinity and larger aspects rather than the personality self. My son gave me a beautiful visual that clicked into understanding for me. We are all dots on this earth plane. Beautiful shining dots of light. We have had roadways of connections between us, forms that allowed us to navigate our way with one another (think of how the roads on a map help orient you to place). There was the parent -child roadway, the lover, the friend, the teacher, the boss……so many roadways that we moved on. Now we have begun to break up these roads that held us in rigid conformity. We are expanding our beings and demanding new pathways of light to move on. We are being graced with immense incoming energies of love, bombarding our planet from the sun and our starry brothers and sisters. If we hold to the old roadways and structures, the rigidity does not allow movement. The incoming energies have no choice but to shake and explode the barriers in their path. This is the catastrophic timeline that many identify with, that there must be destruction for the new age to appear.
What if we willingly dissolve the old roadways and replace them with fluid pathways of love and light? We can drop the attachment to form. This is the grieving that I felt keenly. It is similar to having a loved one die. We are left orienting ourselves to the absence of their physical presence in this dimension. Our I AM presence knows that the separation is an illusion. We are being asked to know this fully in our daily lives and relate to one another as our full selves. From I AM presence to I AM presence. I can send love and heartlight to Joseph’s I Am presence and bask in that warmth. I can then expand that feeling to all humanity and experience unity consciousness.
The new pathways we travel on are of light. No form, rather vibration which is always moving. This allows the formless room to move into form. By the act of letting go, we are allowing unity to emerge. The painful part is letting go of the ways of the personal that we have been taught. As we expand, we discover that we feel everything so much more impersonally. We are close to completing the lesson of taking no thing personally. We know we are mirrors for one another, providing opportunities for growth and expansion. We fully accept ourselves as the creators of our reality, taking responsibility for every aspect of our lives. This allows us to peel back the layers and witness the underlying unity that emerges into view.
For me, the grace in all of this, is the absolute knowing that for all that I surrender (letting go of old ways of relating as well as letting go of so many relationships themselves where our vibrations no longer match) I will be rewarded a hundredfold. The old no longer satisfies. I crave deep heart connections. That has meant some lonely times in years past as friends dropped by the wayside but now my heart is so full and rich that it is my favorite hang out spot. I find bliss most easily by myself in that heartspace. From there, I can access anyone’s I Am presence and beam love to them and feel love from them. Through deep connection with one heart, we can access the many. Through deep connection with my own heart, I can access the Creator’s heart. He/She is always ready to play in the playground of my heart and sing along with me. Oh, what a magical world we are creating! I love us all so.