Love day. How beautiful that today was celebrated as love day. Here are the things that happened for me today. My former husband reminded me that this was the day that we met 30 years ago. It was the day we celebrated each year as our anniversary. We laughed that here we were, once again, working together on a yard project. After all these years, how strange it all was. We created a bridge over some formerly turbulent waters of our past. We acknowledged how we had helped one another to grow. How the years of unloving had led me to love myself. We talked about friendship and offering that in a new way to one another. Immediately, he started to tell me how he had little time for friendship, offering excuses. I laughed and said, “Oh, I see your offer was too much and you are now withdrawing it.” An old pattern surfacing. A beautiful new thing happened then. He recalled reading something about how when you achieve a peak experience or new level in a relationship, you need time to process it and integrate it. If you are not conscious about it, you end up creating a crisis or argument that leads to a time of separation which then allows the integration. By being conscious, you can state that you need time to assimilate the new aspect in the relationship and peace can be maintained. It was so lovely to hear him state his need and to be able to honor it. A new way was bridged and I felt such gratitude. So proud of both of us. When we can openly state our needs with love, there is freedom to be found.
Ten days ago, I asked my former husband if I could spend the night at the family house as I was get-ting in late and my car was here, as were my sons. He would not be here as he is only here three nights of the week. He graciously agreed. I am still here. This was not planned. The energies streaming in have kept me pretty grounded. I have small bursts of activity….looked at 2 apartments today (neither was a yes) and then rest, food and water are required. At times, the thought of getting up to go to the bathroom seems beyond me. Truly! I cannot move. I laugh at how my higher self has orchestrated this time, not something I was looking for yet here I am. And tonight’s bridge to a new friendship is the reward. I am being shown over and over to trust my heart, trust the universe to guide me to the situations that lead to my greatest growth. Our minds would not choose them as we tend to avoid things thought to be painful but if we allow our hearts to lead, we are led to healing and freedom.
I was doing yoga outside (managed 10 minutes before fatigue overtook me, but it was 10 minutes!) when in triangle pose I looked up. A hawk was circling above me. I watched him executing his graceful turns with wings outstretched and felt I was drifting with him on the air currents. Hawks are my power animal, showing up often in my life. I felt he was giving me a message that my love would soon be with me. I thanked him and sent him a beam of love. Right before going outside a friend had sent a message that her beloved was soon to join her. It all felt interconnected to me, our loves are coming as we open our hearts to our own love. The Venus transit on June 4th is already in motion, bringing in big love energies. I know myself as Venusian and feel a sense of home coming.
An apartment manager I met today shared that his 22 year old son had commited suicide six months ago. He wanted to talk about the pain he felt, the guilt of being too hard, the frustration of years of his son’s drug addiction and rehab efforts that did not succeed. He showed my son and I, his son’s picture and admonished me to cherish my son. He said he now called his other children regularly. He was expressing his love on this love day in wanting to share stories of his son with us. Wanting us to know of his beauty and struggle. Love, oh how we search for it, need it, desire it.
It has been a long journey to this new world where love will be the rule. Where hearts can open wide and that will be the norm. I am witnessing the transformation all around me. Begin to look for evidence and it will be given. Yes, this is the time to turn on our heartlights and never turn them off again. That young man could not see past the pain of separation and so chose to open a different door. We have hoped, we have yearned to live in love and now the reward is at hand. A world of love is being born. Thank God we are here to participate in it. Don’t wait to begin, now is the time to turn your heartlight on high! This is what our high beams were made for! Our hearts are the instrument to birth this world we desire. Free your heart of everything but love, drop all else and shine it so bright. No child, no one has to live in a world without love. We are the ones to make this a reality for ourselves, our children and the generations to come. It all starts within……your heart, my heart, one heart.