Happy May Day! I am leaving a basket of beautiful flowers at your doorstep…..did you find them? My kids and I used to do this when they were young, weave small baskets from paper and grasses and fill them with spring flowers and hang them on the neighbors’ doors. May 2012…….this is it. We are transforming, following the flowers lead by bursting into bloom! I love how nature has become my teacher. The clouds teach me to drift along and change with the moments, the earth teaches me to plant my roots deep in her soil, the flocks of geese teach me about moving in my heart, knowing when to take the lead, when to drop back, all fluid motion. The deer on my nature walks by the river teach me to look at each passerby with eyes of presence and depth. The butterflies, how to dance on the breeze, the trees how to bend with the breeze. The turkeys, how to fluff my feathers and sing my song, no matter how ridiculous that looks or sounds to others! (They can look pretty silly with their wattle waggling under their tiny head next to that big chest).
I am experimenting this month, my life being the laboratory. My heart being the crucible. Spirit being the elixir that I am playing with. I need a place to live. I have no idea where I am to land, what this place is to look like. I do know that I am ready to be planted, to allow the stillness wherein I can watch my seeds sprout. I water them with tears each day, something of beauty can move me there most days as my heart overflows in delight, in compassion, in ecstasy, in frustration, in sharing eye contact with another’s heart. I am checking craigslist each morning for an apartment or house near my sons and the river parkway or in midtown. Both are places that I have lived, both feel like I am moving backwards in a way yet…who knows anything anymore about what is for my highest good? Being here in this moment is joy. Allowing that joy to be the fuel that brings the next movement. The sun filtering through my closed eyelids. The bird songs filling my ears, my son painting at his easel on the lawn, all of these fill my heart with joy. I savor it, breathe it in and expand it out through my heart, beckoning my desire for this and this and this. The details are left to the universe and my higher self, I am amplifying the feelings. I am allowing myself the gift of presence and gratitude for each moment.
I have been so flattened by the energies streaming in for this weekend’s full moon and Wesak celebration. Wesak is celebrated on the first full moon in May and commemorates Buddha’s birth/death/enlightenment. My eldest son was born in May 7th and I called him my Buddha boy. He looked like a an old sage and he whispered the story of our connection to one another and the creation of this earth, as he took his first breaths and looked into my eyes. He carries the Buddha energies, and is celebrating his 27th birthday with a party on Wesak and the full moon this year. Almost a year after his kundalini awakening, he is ready to share outwardly what he has discovered on his inward trek. This trek has found him for the most part, lying on a sofa. He has gone against our society’s ideas of how a young man ‘should” conduct his life. If he had gone to an ashram in India and sat at the foot of a guru, then there would be a greater acceptance of the idea of him following a spiritual path. Can you find God from your sofa? Yes, and I believe you will be as thrilled with his wisdom as I am.
I find it interesting how narrow is the path we allow ourselves. My sons and I have opened a bridge to the new as so many of you have by following your truth. Do not underestimate the role you have played in this planetary awakening by stepping to the beat of your own inner drummer. May is a transformational month where we are being gifted with assistance to let go of our old stories and ways and birth our divinity. Can you believe the power of this?? Go within and claim it. It is about surrender (can I live without my stories, without my pains and sorrows, my ideas of right and wrong, of good and bad, of suffering and joys?). Yes, I surrender them all and ask to be made anew in the truth of who I am. I am excited as I meet more of her each day. I want to be all love. I want to be fully present to the Creator’s gifts that are wrapped in every moment. I want to be Her heart expressing itself in full bloom on this planet. I want to be the highest expression of my soul that I can reach. I want to melt with the beauty of it all. I want to see the truth of love in every situation, every person, every heartache. I want to be the alchemist that knows how to transform all baser emotions into the gold of love. I take them into my heart and beam them back as light. We have that power…..doesn’t this amaze you? It does me.
Soul awareness month will find me looking within. Seize this opportunity being gifted to us. This is the month to turn all to gold so that we can be the shining sons and daughters of God that we came here to be!