March has come in so breezy, with up and down drafts of energy. I am learning to flow and ride the waves as they come. This small creek runs through the park where I like to walk most days. Rock strewn in places, smooth going in others…nature always showing me the way. Embracing it all, not complaining of the rocks or narrow passages, simply flowing as that is its nature. As ours is to love, to let our heart lights shine out, no matter what comes into our lives. The refrain, “Resist nothing” has had big play time in my head of late. As I focus on this, I have been surprised at all the moments where resistance still lurked. There is a friend of the homeowner whose house I am renting, who came over to do yard work. He was dear, brought me oranges and lemons and even split a bunch of kindling wood for me. We had a nice chat and I sent him off with some gingersnaps warm from the oven. He told me that he would likely be coming once or twice a week this month to work on projects. I found myself feeling hemmed in at that thought, not sure I wanted to be social that often. Resisting because I wanted the freedom of knowing I could come and go in the yard in my space of solitude. I know that focusing on the not wanting, creates just that. In a space of allowing, I can trust that when he does show up, it will be a wonderful experience, not something I need to push against.
Embracing all, resisting none. I stopped at an art store for my son to use a gift card. He was only going to be 5 minutes. I decided it was not enough time to warrent figuring out how to put money in a machine that printed a little ticket to attach to your windshield. I went into the store and as we were standing at the check out counter, we saw a parking meter guy placing a ticket under my wiperblade. Argh! Embracing all….not quite! I felt anger flood through me, at myself and the silly system. Then tears as it seemed to represent all the rules and regulations that we have lived under for so long. I felt the weight and limitations of this 3D life and the tears were for all of us. Thank God freedom is at hand and our lives will flow with more openness and light. I was able to laugh after a bit and be grateful for the experience, perhaps it happened for me to express that anger thoroughly and then let it go, clearing that energy. I am moving into the space of seeing it all as a gift from my higher self. All orchestrated expressly for me, for my growth and evolution back into the love that I am. How wonderful it is!
It has been days since I wrote the above. The solar flares have been intense, pushing me into the ground it seems. All beautiful energy from our dear sun to support us to evolve. And tonight the moon has joined by shining her full face down at me. I have not been able to do much of anything, even writing was too far a reach. I made an appointment to get my hair cut but had to cancel it because I was not up for the energy in such a place. My days are so free that to have a time to meet felt so out of place. I truly need to move as I feel to move. Today, that was not so much. I am allowing my body to lead. Two separate events that required a lot of driving came up of late and I pulled out of both. Not easy to do as I do not want to disappoint friends when I had made a plan to travel to see them. My personality self had an agenda but my body is trumping all. My body simply said, “No, I am not moving. I am resting.”
Then this energy forecast for March came in my inbox and spoke directly to what I had experienced (I love when this happens!) http://leeharrisenergy.blogspot.com/ Here are the lines that struck me: “Hence one of the first big themes of March – Who comes first? You or those you are in relationship with and to? March will see you needing to ask yourself this question many times. Can you trust that what is right for you is also absolutely perfect for those around you?”
Wow, that is a lot of trust! We are not programmed that way at all. I am learning it but it is not easy as it is a new way of being in relationship as Lee points out in his article. Yet if we are to evolve into being in our truth moment to moment, we must begin somewhere. Even if it means folks are disappointed in us or upset with us. The one that I can no longer afford to have upset, is me! I have to take care of my needs first and foremost if I am to be in my truth. So…..can I trust that is perfect for those around me? That is taking some practice as the old guilt comes in for disappointing another. Yet I am letting the part of me that feels guilt know that is old energy and we can move in a new way. I am trusting this new energy even when I see evidence that appears to contradict it. I can not know what is right for another, only what is right for me in the moment. The waves of fatigue hit without warning and my body seems to have no will to resist. I acknowledge this as progress as in the days of old, I would use my will to push through when my body was not willing. Now I give it what it needs when it needs it and the joy is there as we move together.
I am also feeling the freedom that is coming as we each act from our truth in each moment. Such freedom to not have to spend any time wondering if someone else is ok, if they are happy or not. To know that everyone is moving in their joy, to their own rhythm and that if they needed or wanted anything, they would seek it. No second guessing others’ motives or desires. To each be responsible for ourselves. Can you feel that wind of freedom? That is the energy of March coming in. I am so glad that we are moving this way as it will get easier as more get on board and we all begin to trust this. It has not been easy being on the forefront of moving in this way as it can bring energies of resistance.That has been a lesson as I can chose to go into my pain body about someone’s reaction to my actions or I can chose to remain neutral and trust while holding all of us in love.
Feeling such gratitude for a beautiful quilt made by a friend to wrap myself in. I have never received such a gift of so many hours of thought and work (no, she says it was play!) for me. I love the heart in the center of the house shape. I have found my home in my heart and I am immensely grateful. It is another freedom that I have found. I am grateful for the afternoon of my son napping under my quilt as the fire blazed. For the unexpected weekend alone with my daughter to play and connect again before she heads off for a year in New Zealand. We did not do much but laughed a great deal, took a walk from days of old, cooked and ate together. The simple things that make life sweet. That is what I am feeling as I flow with these wild energies of March…sweet. Life is getting sweeter as more of our true self is showing up to experience it. Loving that!