Forgiveness of Self……

the magolia tree that I chose and helped plant years ago at my former home, revisited this spring to witness its beauty.

I just posted a blog indicating that I deleted the one from the day before. I have reconsidered and instead have edited it and decided to post what remained. The reason is that it was a knee jerk reaction in the old way. I was punishing myself as my mind was saying, ” How can you write about love when you just found yourself judging another? That if I observed a flaw in myself, then I am flawed all the way through. Old energy of self punishment. I am a complex character, holding great light as well as darker aspects. All of me is desiring to be only love. I ask for this each day, to be a living chalice of lovelight to be used by the Creator for the good of all. That is my heart’s intent. And as my call is answered with more love flooding in, the tides must wash out what no longer resonates. For this, my heart rejoices  but my personality self felt shame. I am allowing that to wash away on the tide of love that has once again flooded my being tonight. This is progress, in the old days I would have been laid low for a week from this experience. Thank you Creator for these quicker, lighter energies that move us to our truth.

Yesterday felt like the first day of Spring here in Northern California. The sun was shining, the air felt fresh rather than chilly and the earth emitted that delicious smell that portends new growth. I laid my blanket on the ground and took a nap. It was still a bit damp and cold yet my body soaked it in like a sponge. I so needed that elemental connection with my mother. This magnolia tree that I chose and planted years ago at my former family home was a delight to visit it as it opened its blossoms to the sky. What a color! The blossoms like hearts of love opening just as hearts are opening all over the world. What a time we live in! To witness this love explosion happening on the planet is a gift from our Creator.

The new moon stirred up the energies and it felt a bit unsettling as they swirled about. My eldest son texted me that he felt so emotional, weepy as if all boundaries between him and others had disappeared. He could feel each one’s heart and it was almost painful. He is a druid of old, a nature being with a deep connection to the earth. The energies move through him on a level most of us have not felt. I honored him for his pure heart of love and suggested he change his plans of the day to match his vibration. He was headed into San Francisco but needed to lie under his favorite oak tree in a park and be still. He chose the latter and we all benefited from that choice. When we care for ourselves, we care for all. When we allow the peace to enter in, we are being peace for the earth. This is such a fundamental lesson that we are not taught. We are all wired differently, all connected to the earth, the oceans, the sky in different ways. We are learning to honor the ways of our bodies and spirits. We are leaving behind the idea of “normal” and embracing the uniqueness as well as the oneness of all. In the past, we have cast out the mystics, the dreamers, the wanderers, who do not fit in one of society’s pegs. In the present time they are often our homeless wandering the streets. Now we are opening the door to them. I feel such a tenderness for all beings, for each one’s special gift. My daily prayer is for each person to know their own beauty and to share it openly with the world. A friend sent a poem with a line that lingered: “How strange now that I am walking my path, others see me as wasting my life.” He had stepped off the wheel of the working day world, letting go the house, the marriage, the job to enter into the mystery that has called his name. He is writing beautiful poetry and feeling new connections within. This is the blossoming of the soul that is happening all over this planet at warp speed. The heart is emerging as the pathfinder and no longer believes the limitations set by the mind and conditioned by society.

The love that is emerging on the planet is so much larger than any idea we have held. Recently I noticed how we are moving from our minds to our hearts. The old way was to allow our minds to have full rein, to attempt to control situations and people.The mind is what keeps the story churning, believing it can “make sense” of a situation if it only “thinks” enough. This is the lie.(How many hours did I spend trying to figure things out over the years!!)  It is only by turning to the wisdom of the heart, that truth can be known. I understand only too well that place of being stuck in the monkey mind and how difficult it is to surrender and let the story go. I was living there for so long.

The more we grow on this path of love, the clearer it becomes that what appears as suffering, has a higher purpose for the soul. I trust that this is the path that the soul has chosen to awaken further to their own truth. Suffering is often a catalyst for awakening, certainly it has been in my life. I am so grateful for every moment that it took before I turned to my heart and saw truth. I used to beat myself up for how long it did take but  have discovered that it takes as long as it takes for us to awaken. I had to forgive myself for all the years that I suffered and know that was what it took for my soul. (if you read the post on humility you will see that here I thought I had forgiven myself but there was another layer yet to go, shadows can be tricky characters) All that I perceived as coming from the outside to harm me, was a reflection of my not valuing my own worth and giving away my own power. 377923_150023841763777_100002684869050_174562_322300789_n-300x191.jpg

This photo was posted on facebook and I so love it! I do not know the person who took it but acknowledge your great photo skills! It expresses the liquid lovelight that I bathe in each day. Can you feel it?

We are truly entering into the new earth. The changes are apparent in our hearts. This is how it happens, not through some big revolution, though there will be changes in the outer structures of society, but it comes by way of the heart. Each person, letting go, loosening their ideas of right and wrong, good and bad. Returning love for anger, softness where there is hardness, peace rather than judgment. The hearts speaking rather than the mind. We are witnessing an inner revolution in the space of each one’s heart. Tune in to yours today. Love it dearly for the dearness that you are and remember to “turn on your heartlight” so that others can see it shine!


6 thoughts on “Forgiveness of Self……

  1. I love our Unity! You shine so beautiful in your Wholeness and Truth. The courage in your sharing is unmeasurable and inspiring to the ALL. In your embracing of wholeness I am moved to new knowingz, feelingz, and experience with you. I am in deep appreciation for ALL your beamingness and love. I know you only as perfect love light in ALL levels of emanation. Growth is Bliss. I lay with you, the magolia tree, and All That Is in the peace WE ARE.

  2. I’m also in the process of opening my heart to the world, but I’m starting to see that not only we’re not separted that I’m the world and your the world and everything is one— but to love yourself–I think that is the heart of it all -than you start to create beauty===hear art-here art all comes from within heart, than syronicties come into play and soon we’ll be watching, acting in, writing, directing all the same movie—being one with the universe…..recently I’ve started to see really clearly I’ve been preventing myself, or damming myself from having what I deeply been seeking all my life and that is to have deep flow with people. Which leads back to opening my heart— Namsete…(I hope that’s how you spell it)

    • Dear Fred,
      I can feel your beautiful heart opening… wonderful this time is. We get to feel it ourselves and witness it in others. Self love is the biggest thing holding us back and it is finally shifting. It took me so long to see it and I love how the sun, the earth, the Creator and the elements are all conspiring to help us remember the beauty of who we are. I see your shining heart and I am grateful! Espavo! (means thank you for taking your power)
      Much love,

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