I am sitting here with candle light, the Christmas lights adorning our little tree, the scent of lilies and pine scenting the air, the Vienna Boys’ Choir singing in the background. I am filled with grace. I am amazed at how filled I am, how complete in me I am. My heart is surging with each chorus of Gloria. Surely heaven inhabits this tiny 11×11 foot living room. ( I had to get up to measure the room as I wondered, how small is it?) I have a bouquet of huge white lilies but not quite as grand as this bouquet that graced the entrance to the museum yesterday. I love places that use real flowers. I am a flower being, truly I need to have fresh flowers in the spaces that I inhabit. I do not begrudge spending money on flowers, so I was surprised today by my reaction when I spied the branches of red berries that I had been envisioning to fill this tall green/gold vase. I had passed by such branches at the neighborhood Molly Stone market as they were $19 which seemed too dear. Today they were presenting themselves at Trader Joe’s for $8, a bargain in comparison. ( I do buy flowers weekly at the neighborhood florist) Yet I hesitated about buying them. My son encouraged me and as I held them in my hands, I began to cry. Yes, I am known to cry just about anywhere, anytime! ( I am fortunate that my kids are not embarrassed by me now nor when I kissed them in front of their friends in high school). It took me a few minutes to find the reason (not that it matters to know at all, rather simply to allow the emotions expression). But my mind did its thing and my heart hers, releasing the grief of all the years of frugality when I had to weigh so carefully what I could spend money on. Adding up the prices in the grocery store, the embarrassment at the checkout stand of deciding which items had to be put back. The kids feeling the weight of it. I held that mindset way past the time when it was a financial necessity, denying myself pleasure and beauty. Today was an opportunity to love the dear young mother and woman that I was and congratulate her on her strength and resolve. It was also the opportunity to feel the grace of abundance that brought these red berry branches home with me.
While we were at the store, we collected some boxes for our move at the end of the month. I am so proud of my son that he is on board with the new energies. We have no place to move to as yet but we know the time in this apartment is up. He has lived here for over a year with my daughter, she moved out at the end of Oct and I moved in. I have loved having a dresser rather than my car’s trunk to live out of. I feel that nomad time of my life is complete for now as is this couple of months in San Francisco. So, we gather boxes and will pack things up and see what the universe has in store for us. We feel such joy about it all and believe that ease and grace will light the way. We are open to the highest path for each of us. This new maturity that I see in myself and in those around me, delights me! Aren’t we wonderful? We are trusting, we are letting go, we are allowing. We know our place is there waiting for us and divine timing is perfect. The old way of figuring it all out and having everything set before making a move, is over. The new flow that carries us down the stream is so much nicer! Ahhh, we can relax and float.
Another lovely part of the day was Gabriel’s recounting of his morning painting experience. He takes his easel and paints outdoors near his studio. He did a beautiful painting and had many comments from passersby. An older couple stopped and watched him at work for quite some time. They complimented him on the painting and then the woman said, “Thank you for doing this.” Wow! That is a comment of the new earth. A world where each one can offer their gifts and they are seen and acknowledged for their contribution. Wow! Just a couple of days before my son had watched the thought come in, “I need to get a real job”. It has only been 3 months since he has taken the leap from the cubicle corporate world to the land of being a full time artist. Fear raises its head occasionally to see how committed one is to his path. I have certainly experienced my fair share of those visits. Yet here was the universe sending a very clear message that he is doing his work and it is appreciated! I love this. I love the woman who took the time to tell Gabriel this. This is the new way, sharing the love and supporting one another. More and more folks are turning on their heart lights and letting the love shine through. I love this world that we are all creating! Thank you for your part in this creation. Sing your note, the one that is yours and yours alone to sing.