Wow, where do I begin? Changing my name to Linda Marie (not legally as yet as that feels too dense for me to do, but on this blog, facebook and my email) has created a shift of immense proportions for me. Mary Magdalene and Mother Mary have taken the opening created by my calling myself, Linda Marie- my true first and middle names, which took me 54 years to realize meant, beautiful Mary to help me reclaim my past as a member of the order of Marys. I have been flooded with their energies flowing through me and filling me with their beautiful light. Mother light, lover light, liquid lovelight (my new website name that will house this blog very soon). This photo does not show it well but this is my Mother Mary medal that I have worn around my neck for years. I found it in a thrift shop years ago and felt it was indeed mine as Mary is held in a basket of flowers! Perfect for this flower lover.
As the Marys connected with my heart, many Marys have been connecting with me through facebook and phone calls. Today five women connected and I could feel the Mary energies weaving amongst us all. One offered her support in any way that I needed to bring this energy in to form. It is time for this energy to return to the planet. We truly are being gifted with more of ourselves as we fall more deeply in love with ourselves. I am wearing my turquoise blue silk scarf that my daughter gave me last Christmas when I was craving this color. It is Mother Mary’s color. Also the color of our new high heart chakra. A friend informed me today that Mary means star of the sea in Latin. We were seeing the turquoise color linking to the sea and the Aquafarian realms under the sea. Truly our earth is full of magic as we have the eyes to see. There is so much more going on than we ever imagined! Cities under the sea! Cities in the inner earth! Etheric cities of light floating above the earth! I am so grateful to be expanding my perceptions to include glimpses into these places of mystery and magic. We all travel to these places in our dream state, now it is easier to bring the memories back with us as we awaken. We truly are all great beings of light!
I am so full that it is hard to write but I do so want to capture some of this energy. I have written of visions of the divine feminine returning to the earth once again. Of how the feminine heals itself and the earth, we as women holding space for one another, healing one another and doing our earth work to heal the mother. I was shown how this allowed the men to heal instantly, they did not have to do the work as we did. At first, this made me angry, why should we do the work for them? Later I gleaned an understanding and today Mary Magdalene channeled through with more clarification. Here follows her words through me:
“I am Mary Magdalene and I am here with you. The liquid lovelight is a real essence that you can work (play) with! There is much coming through as you offer yourself as a vessel and container. Open with your pure heart and we can do much. The sisterhood of the Marys will become a space for women to gather and heal one another, themselves and Gaia. This is as the vision showed you, it is truth. The Mary essence is the mother ray and the lover ray. The mother births the child, the lover ignites the child into manhood. It is ever the women’s role to take the lead and move the men into their strength and power. The divine feminine is once again to rule on this planet with its softness and fluidity yet the masculine is not to be usurped, rather embraced for its gifts. The women hold the power to bring through the balanced gifts of the divine masculine. Men truly become the warriors of the heart as they use their strength to shield and support women and children. The world will become a place of safety as all women and children are honored and protected. The men accept their role with eagerness as it is time for them to know the gentleness of their power, to know the value of their gifts. They have been wandering, lost in the wilderness for so long, brandishing their swords and rattling their shields at an unknown enemy. They were told it was women and they feared the mystery that is held deep in a woman’s womb. They under- stood that the feminine had that connection to the earth and the cycles of the moon and stars. Deep in their being, they knew that here lie the true power as the feminine could access the innermost planes of not only their own beings, but that of the earth and cosmos as well. The feminine held the powers of creation! Men have felt bereft as they were not taught to connect to their own inner power so sought to gain it externally by dominating others. This time is at an end. You are being birthed as new humans, melding your starry nature with your human nature. You become reborn into the light of the All.”
I have been shown how joy filled it is when women and men are both in their power. The men are sooo happy to support their women and children. They understand how to worship the goddess and access her gifts of love. The sisterhood of the Marys was also called the Order of the Rose. It was one of many secret societies that held these ancient truths which are being brought forward once again. We no longer have to fear death for being a carrier of these codes. Roses in a modern context are a symbol of love. Men give roses to show their love to their women. This is based on this order, where the roses were the women who held this wisdom. The men vowed to protect the roses, hence to give a rose was a symbol of this protection offered. I so love how all the myths and legends are springing to life! We can out- picture our lifetimes of pageantry and gallantry once again. It will be in new settings but the sacredness and depth of life will be ours. We will know our interconnectiveness and our tribal natures once again. Our hearts have yearned for so long to open fully to one another. I know that I am ready to wear my ceremonial robes once again and feel my femininity flowing with the silks and gossamer fabrics! 2012 offers this portal to the heart, step through and be reborn!
The countdown begins. Only a few days remaining of 2011 and while knowing that calendars and time are an illusion, I am not stopped from feeling an ending and completion. Tomorrow Pluto, the planet of transformation conjuncts with the Sun, our core identity. I have felt this energy coming in yesterday and it is working its magic on me. Here is an excerpt from Kelly M Beard Kelly@KarmicTools.com ~ www.KarmicTools.com Published by GypsyChild Publishing Copyright © 2000-2011 Kelly M Beard All Rights Reserved
Pluto brings aspects of our Selves which have been buried, neglected, or ignored lately (or for some of us, for a very long time) to the surface and shines a bright light on them. Whew, that can’t be easy. At this time, you have to KNOW, not just believe, but KNOW WHO YOU ARE … because everything you “thought” you knew about these deeper places within -is in question.
Remember, breakdowns always precede breakthroughs!! And this time is for real – half way won’t cut it and the Universe will do EVERYTHING to prevent you from half-steppin’ in any way, shape or form. You must REPAIR or RELEASE and move on.
I am seeing this happening within and around me. I am feeling that Knowingness emerge more clearly of who I am. I am ready to step into the expansion of me with the support of the new energies. Releasing the smallness of me and knowing that it is time to step out into the world in a much bigger way. I see loved ones sensing the expansion and pulling back into places of comfort. I see the discomfort that this brings as the soul yearns to move. I am reminded to be the compassionate observer and to honor the holiness of each one’s choice.
I have been stationary for the past two months, sharing my son’s apartment after my daughter moved out. I have had the pleasure of a dresser (my craving after living out of my trunk for so long) and a space to be and create in. Now, we are packing up and releasing stuff once again. My son is looking to live in a new part of the city in a new mix and I am being called to flow once again and head to Kauai for a time in January. I bought a return ticket to this city but have no place to land, no plans ahead. I am assured by Spirit that is intentional as I am to be fluid once more. As a reminder, a friend from Hawaii called and expressed how fortunate I was to be free by having no home base. She pointed out that her house is an anchor as well as a hearth. It keeps her tethered to place. Thank you for that perspective! It is all about how we look at things, isn’t it? I know so many who are tied to a spot as their houses are worth less than the amount that they still owe the bank. Yes, I am glad to be free to move about as my higher self dictates.
The releasing of stuff is once again going deep into that survival instinct……will I have a home? Will I be ok? Will I have enough? Will I have to gather all this stuff once again? It has felt uncomfortable to feel all of this and allow it to move through. To center myself and breathe deeply into the truth of my security…….deep in my heart where I connect to the Creator.
The move has been perfectly orchestrated at this time of Pluto, for my growth. I am so grateful for the ways that I am supported. The abundance that is still there (thank you to me and spirit for setting it up!), the friends who support me by offering a room and encouragement, the folks who reflect to me who I am, helping me to see myself more clearly, the ascended masters and archangels who guide and protect me, the earth who fills me with love as well as my Mother/Father God who rains down that liquid lovelight that I am so very fond of! How blessed I am.
Once again I am sitting here with our tiny Christmas tree. My son is off for a few days of celebrations and gatherings with friends and I am alone. This is exactly what my soul craves, a quiet passage into 2012. I feel more love and joy for and from this little tree than from any tree I have ever had. It seems the energies of this Christmas season are allowing us to feel so much more peace and joy than ever before. I love humanity and want to be teaching again. I am ready to teach of the spirit, an insight that came to me more than 20 years ago when I was immersed in teaching my little ones. I knew that I had come to teach of spirit and I would be called when the time was right. I feel that the time is at hand so I am savoring these quiet days. I feel the energy of 2012 and it is quick and intense and filled with joy and expansion. It is filled with more of me! A deep sigh as I allow myself to gently take leave of this year that has seen me integrate so much and fall so deeply in love with myself. What a gift 2011 has been!
The photo is of a tiny ceramic tile that I made that somehow represents home to me. I gifted it to a friend in one of my letting go of possessions episodes and so saw it this past autumn when I visited her home. It is my dream scape in some way as just beyond that hill, lies my Shangri-la. That is where I am headed!
What an interesting few days this has been. Christmas Eve, my sons returned. My older son brought his younger brother home and had planned on spending the holiday weekend with us. Instead, he surprised me by saying that he felt the need to be alone for Christmas Eve and day. He was only stopping for a moment. I found myself in reaction, anger flashed through. I saw the root of it as the fear that it was. Fear? What was this about? Quickly the fear uncovered this huge pit of grief that rose up my throat and came pouring out in huge wracking sobs. My son and I had been unwinding this coil bit by bit over the past couple of months but here we were at the nub of it. I saw a lifetime where we lost one another as well as the grief of parting on the higher planes as I took form and he stayed aloft to work his magic. Our tie is so deep and elemental to both of us. This is the son who had spoken telepathically to me in the first seconds of his life to remind me of our connection. He told me that he had known me from the beginning of time and that our love was forever. I had felt that he was a gift to me and that I might not have much time with him, so treasure it, I must. And here was this grief at the intense feeling that I might never see him again. We both released the tears and the energy and allowed the peace to fill our hearts. We know that we have a mission and that our paths will cross down the road once again. We also acknowledged that it mattered not, as our hearts were always in communion. Deep sighs……..whew. I thanked him for caring for himself by taking time when he needed it rather than trying to please anyone else. For trusting his inner knowing and honoring himself, first and foremost. It is essential as we move into these new energies. Also for coming and allowing this release to take place for both of us as all fear must go, all old memories stored in our dna that keep the vibration of fear alive. We are being emptied of all that is tethering us to this 3d hologram.
Emotional release is exhausting work! I then had a dinner to prepare and I felt like a damp towel, all wrung out. I suggested we call it off but my younger son felt it would be fun and said he was up to do what was needed. It came together and was a nice evening though I felt low key and a bit off balance. It was what it was, and I let it be that.
Christmas day was quiet, no gifts, no big meal, no one but my son and I. We enjoyed our tiny tree and a walk in the crisp air and the ease of leftovers in the fridge. Peace filled day. I took a nap on the couch by the tree and lights and found myself in that dream, not awake but not asleep state. I recall trying to open my eyes and move my body, but I could do neither. I was at the Great Central Sun and I saw and felt how huge my being was. I found it delightful to recognize others by their light even though all the light looked the same. Yet, there was a knowing of one another’s vibration. I was weaving light strands and knew I was a master at it. I was smiling at how I knew that I would never forget who I was and yet how I had in this lifetime. I saw the dearness of myself in this incarnation and felt amazed at the smallness of my life compared to the vastness of my being. That made me laugh! I knew that the time of expansion was upon me and that I was to bring that energy of that vastness through in this body. I did not want to awake and come back, it seemed too heavy a task. I wanted to bask in the light of home. Yet, I knew that was the mission, to bring the light of love and anchor here on this earth plane. It was the Christmas gift from home that I had been looking for. To feel the knowing once again and soak in the essence of the Creator once more. I felt refueled.
Today, what would have been my 29th wedding anniversary brought up the loss of expressing the love that had created my marriage. My former husband and I had not been in communication for quite some time. My daughter had skyped from Montreal where she was spending the holiday with her boyfriend and his family. I watched as those feelings of loss came up of the intact family, the family home with the big tree and trimmings…all that I had left behind 5 years ago. Sobs, about 30 seconds worth as it seems the emotions move through so quickly these days. As it happened (Spirit has such a way with timing), my former husband had emailed about a desire to get together a couple of weeks back. A couple of suggested times did not work out so I suggested today for old times’ sake. I had felt it was important to meet before the end of the year. He agreed and we met for lunch. We sat at the table and held hands and simply looked in one another’s eyes for a few minutes. Huge event as for the last few years of our marriage, he could not look me in the eye to speak as he was leading a double life though I did not know it. There has been much pain and heartache over the years. Yet, here we were, looking at one another until the tears came. There was simply the love. We had both played our parts well. His role was the darker one and it was the catalyst to my discovering my own beauty and worth. It was so wonderful to acknowledge the love that was, is and will be. It is a stream that began eons ago and flows always to the Creator’s heart. All love continues as our souls know the truth. We ate and then walked and I felt joy filled. My impish sprite came out to play and we joked and teased even! He asked if I now understood why he had sent me a photo of myself taken when I was about 8 years old. He said that he had always loved that photo as he felt it captured a pure expression of energy and goodness and he could see that same look in my eyes today. Such a relief to see the barriers fall, to see him inhabiting his body once again and witness the clearing work that he has done to open his heart. Our hearts ever wish for happiness for all those we have loved and love still.
As I walked home, I felt like skipping just as I did as a child on my way home from confession on Saturday mornings, (a rite of Catholic children to cleanse our souls for the receiving of communion at Sunday morning mass). Free, so free! I felt my angels and guides clapping and laughing in delight that I had passed this test. I was love and I held to that reality and shone it through this relationship. We had come back to love once again. Oh, the joy! I asked my son to take my photo when I returned home to record the joy that I was feeling. I love all the ways that the universe has conspired to trigger the old coils of pain, of fear, of victimhood, of playing small, of heartache, of misunderstanding in order for them to be unwound. I have spent tonight in meditation and invocation, calling in the Christ light to infill me with its Golden hue. We are being rebirthed into our true selves as we take our places on this planet as the true ones. We are holding the portals open wide for all to pass through with our mother as she ascends to her starry birthright. I am feeling my starry nature tonight and see all your shining lights so bright. Let your heart lights shine……there is only the love. Embrace it. I embrace you in my heart.
What does that mean? God is alien? I spotted this sign as I was walking back from the park today. I read it as, God is an alien. That made me chuckle as I took it to mean He/She is from outer space, from the stars just like the rest of us are. It is only now as I read it once again that I see it is saying that God is alien…..alien to whom? Webster’s dictionary says that it is something belonging or relating to another person, place or thing. Something foreign. I like the hearts that the person drew as well as the small halo above the I. I am affirming that God is not alien to me as I am a part of Her/Him. No one or thing is alien to us. Indeed, I had just had the experience of toning and chanting in the park as my friend channeled Spirit. We were weaving a tapestry with my sounds and his words to flow universal love energies across North America. God’s heart was very present as was Gaia’s as she shimmered and tingled up my legs to meet in my heart with my Mother/Father God’s energies. I laughed that we fit right in at Dolores Park which is filled with folks all pursuing their own version of delight. I was twirling and swaying with the sounds that moved through me, my friend was speaking and chanting in a deep loud voice as groups played about us. I love the freedom from the constraints of the ego. It is wonderful to not worry about how anyone views anything that I do. It does not matter any longer, only that I honor myself by following the promptings of my own I AM presence.
Later on my walk, I saw this beautiful camellia in bloom. I loved her pink passion expressing itself as swirling skirts spinning about her. I loved that she rose above the confines of the iron fence spikes. The rigidness of the old that we are all now rising above. I feel just like her, so happy to be dancing free. Who knew that once you let go of all that you knew, there would be such freedom?! I am astounded by it. It is as if I have discovered universes inside myself. Vast galaxies of space that I am free to dance in with colors not yet imagined.
Then I passed a car with this little flower on its dashboard, dancing about. I do not know how it was activated but it was merrily grooving along inside the car. I laughed out loud at its silliness and cuteness. So cheerful and colorful, dancing her beauty even though no one was there to see…..oh, except me! She was dancing for me. I love how when we begin to dance with life, life begins to dance for us! I had started the day by spinning 33 times around. I had watched some utube that someone had posted on facebook saying that it helped to spin your chakras. I figured it was worth a try as it appealed to my sense of play. I like my spiritual growth experiences to be fun! I felt a bit nauseous by the end but quickly regained my equilibrium. I feel that was symbolic of how we are being tested to see if we can hold to our centers as chaos whirls about us. Deep breath and dropping into my heart brings me back to myself.
The sun set early on this the longest night of the year and my body is ready for bed. I am still assimilating all the beautiful gifts of energy that have streamed in today. I feel a bit drunk on the lovelight. A friend was here and said that Hilarion ( the ascended master of healing and truth) wanted to speak. I recalled that Hilarion had spoken to me last year at Christmas time and he had decorated me as the tree of truth. He had hung ornaments all over me. I wondered if he was coming to decorate me once again. Indeed he said that my ornaments were lovely! He also congratulated us on our work today with Gaia and commented on our purple robes of regality. I am feeling quite comfortable in my robes tonight. I am owning my own mastery in a deeper way. I love that I get to sing and dance and tone my gifts to the earth. What a great role I chose for myself! Thank you for the roles you each play and the gifts that you bring. Each of us is so essential to co-creating this new earth of ours. Can you feel it? Begin by delighting in your own beauty, I am delighting in it!
What peaceful, love-filled energies have landed on our earth! My soul is feeling such rapture of delight that I made it here. Hurrah for me and a big thank you to Archangel Michael for not granting my request to be taken off planet when I felt that I was done. I am not done. No, I am finally at the point where I can begin to create. The students are beginning to appear for the lessons that I have to teach. I feel like this rusted old link in a guard rail along the San Francisco waterfront. It may look beaten up and worn but it is still holding its place in the chain. So strong. Yes, I am still standing and anchoring the light that streams in ever more powerfully each day.
The fun truly begins! It will never be so dark and difficult again. We can all heave a sigh of relief, the worst has passed. The depths of darkness will not be as deep as the entire planet has upped her frequency. Tonight, Gaia channeled through me as I mentioned to my friend that I could feel her energy pouring up me, moving from my feet up to my heart. She was so excited about all the clearing that I have done that allowed her to move so freely and swiftly and the clearing that has happened all over her beautiful surface. Oh, the elementals are dancing in joy also. Truly it is celebration time. We have this holiday season to soak in the energies of love. To find peace with all of our relations. To find peace in our hearts with all that we have lived and experienced. To pluck the nuggets of grace from our past and see all the rest in the gentle hue of gratitude for the lessons learned and the wisdom gathered. What a beautiful time to be alive. The solstice is almost upon us and tonight Gaia sounded a clarion call through my voice (she can be LOUD!) and gave me directions on where and what to do to anchor the solstice energies in, here in San Francisco. She is sounding the call for all to awaken. It is a great trumpeting as the portal is opened on the solstice to carry us through to the new timeline of the magic of 2012. Many are yet asleep and so the need to shout it out…awaken! Arise to your own beauty and light. Arise to the truth of who you are and begin to live it. We are one. We are our brother’s keepers as we are our brother. Shake off the shackles of this 3D matrix that limits our freedom. We are creator beings, not sheep any longer. Gaia calls out to everyone to stand up and be the light that you are. She is ascending and wishes all of us to come with her. As a mother, I can relate to that desire for all of your children to have the joy and happiness that is there for the taking. She does not want anyone to suffer any longer. She desires all to experience joy and bliss. Yes, bliss and ecstasy are on the table as our base level of feeling. It is true!
Choose your direction. All paths are viable. You can choose to stay in duality and you are even free to continue to struggle. You can choose freedom and dance in the love. You can feel separate or you can know the unity of all. It is all here for us. Your soul is making a choice, is standing at the threshold of 2012. What you choose now will set the energies for what reality you exist in this coming year. Choose well. State your intention, call upon the myriad of angels and guides that surround you. There is so much love and support here for each one of us. Go inside and connect to it all. It is truly delicious!
I am sitting here with candle light, the Christmas lights adorning our little tree, the scent of lilies and pine scenting the air, the Vienna Boys’ Choir singing in the background. I am filled with grace. I am amazed at how filled I am, how complete in me I am. My heart is surging with each chorus of Gloria. Surely heaven inhabits this tiny 11×11 foot living room. ( I had to get up to measure the room as I wondered, how small is it?) I have a bouquet of huge white lilies but not quite as grand as this bouquet that graced the entrance to the museum yesterday. I love places that use real flowers. I am a flower being, truly I need to have fresh flowers in the spaces that I inhabit. I do not begrudge spending money on flowers, so I was surprised today by my reaction when I spied the branches of red berries that I had been envisioning to fill this tall green/gold vase. I had passed by such branches at the neighborhood Molly Stone market as they were $19 which seemed too dear. Today they were presenting themselves at Trader Joe’s for $8, a bargain in comparison. ( I do buy flowers weekly at the neighborhood florist) Yet I hesitated about buying them. My son encouraged me and as I held them in my hands, I began to cry. Yes, I am known to cry just about anywhere, anytime! ( I am fortunate that my kids are not embarrassed by me now nor when I kissed them in front of their friends in high school). It took me a few minutes to find the reason (not that it matters to know at all, rather simply to allow the emotions expression). But my mind did its thing and my heart hers, releasing the grief of all the years of frugality when I had to weigh so carefully what I could spend money on. Adding up the prices in the grocery store, the embarrassment at the checkout stand of deciding which items had to be put back. The kids feeling the weight of it. I held that mindset way past the time when it was a financial necessity, denying myself pleasure and beauty. Today was an opportunity to love the dear young mother and woman that I was and congratulate her on her strength and resolve. It was also the opportunity to feel the grace of abundance that brought these red berry branches home with me.
While we were at the store, we collected some boxes for our move at the end of the month. I am so proud of my son that he is on board with the new energies. We have no place to move to as yet but we know the time in this apartment is up. He has lived here for over a year with my daughter, she moved out at the end of Oct and I moved in. I have loved having a dresser rather than my car’s trunk to live out of. I feel that nomad time of my life is complete for now as is this couple of months in San Francisco. So, we gather boxes and will pack things up and see what the universe has in store for us. We feel such joy about it all and believe that ease and grace will light the way. We are open to the highest path for each of us. This new maturity that I see in myself and in those around me, delights me! Aren’t we wonderful? We are trusting, we are letting go, we are allowing. We know our place is there waiting for us and divine timing is perfect. The old way of figuring it all out and having everything set before making a move, is over. The new flow that carries us down the stream is so much nicer! Ahhh, we can relax and float.
Another lovely part of the day was Gabriel’s recounting of his morning painting experience. He takes his easel and paints outdoors near his studio. He did a beautiful painting and had many comments from passersby. An older couple stopped and watched him at work for quite some time. They complimented him on the painting and then the woman said, “Thank you for doing this.” Wow! That is a comment of the new earth. A world where each one can offer their gifts and they are seen and acknowledged for their contribution. Wow! Just a couple of days before my son had watched the thought come in, “I need to get a real job”. It has only been 3 months since he has taken the leap from the cubicle corporate world to the land of being a full time artist. Fear raises its head occasionally to see how committed one is to his path. I have certainly experienced my fair share of those visits. Yet here was the universe sending a very clear message that he is doing his work and it is appreciated! I love this. I love the woman who took the time to tell Gabriel this. This is the new way, sharing the love and supporting one another. More and more folks are turning on their heart lights and letting the love shine through. I love this world that we are all creating! Thank you for your part in this creation. Sing your note, the one that is yours and yours alone to sing.
I woke up this morning feeling some sense of unease. I spoke to my son about it and he said he knew that feeling. He went on to say how he would find himself trying to figure it out. We both began to laugh at how silly that was! For that is exactly what my mind had been busily doing! And to what end? It was not clear in my heart so why go digging to discover an unpleasant feeling??? Truly we have been programmed to do some very strange things. Instead the ridiculousness of it brought laughter and smiles and that lead to the joy that is right there, waiting to be felt.
It was rainy outside so we decided to have a museum day and go see the Pissarro exhibit that is up at the Legion of Honor museum. That thought had us both grinning as we are Pissarro fans. As we drove to the museum, hunger hit so we stopped at a new market to get a quick sandwich to eat on the lovely grounds of the museum. On the drive, we were talking about getting a small Christmas tree for the apartment and wondering where we should look. In the quick manifestation energies that are ramping up on the planet, there was an assortment of two and three foot trees in front of the store for $15! A bargain. So sandwich and tree in hand, off we went to the museum where this beautiful dancer greeted me. I love her! I want to sculpt her and be her, dancing in my flowing skirts. Beauty!
This plaque was on the grounds and spoke so to my heart with its words. The bottom continues with: in recognition of the continued quest for world peace. We felt so deeply the gifts of heaven and earth as we looked out over the Pacific Ocean and saw the red golden gates of the bridge and the sparkling blue water (yes, the sun came out to shine on our day) and felt the ground solid under our feet. How blessed we are! Here is the konji writing (at least I think it is konji) that was translated. I love the beauty of this writing.
The exhibit was wonderful. It is so inspiring to be surrounded by beauty. Pissarro was the elder of the impressionist painters in France. He was an anarchist who dreamt of a better world of small sustainable communities where the work of the hands and the land was honored and respected. (He and I share a dream!) He married his mother’s cook’s helper which was quite a radical step not only due to the difference in class but he also broke through the programming of his religion as she was Catholic and he a Jew. No easy feat in those days! He had eight children with her. He loved his family life and painted them as well as the peasants working the land. He seemed to have been a man who walked his talk, living according to his principles of equality for all. Not the easiest of paths yet he walked it truly. He was my inspiration for the day!
Here is one of the views from the hilltop where the Legion of Honor sits. Glorious. The feelings of magic and joy seem to be welling up in me more each day. There is this excitement, a Christmas Eve kind of feeling that bubbles up in me. The days are getting merrier and bright! I had spent a day north of the city looking for a house to rent. Nothing felt right but my son and I took a new road and stopped at Point Reyes and loved the feeling of the small town. We drove back on the winding highway 1 and soaked up the beauty of the landscape. So we did not find a place to move, yet we did find the feeling that we want. Appreciating and acknowledging that is what will bring our perfect place to us.
I feel overcome with the sense of the Spirit of Christmas being here for everyone. I had read these lovely channeled words from Jesus this morning and felt the truth of them this year. My Christ Self is awakening in my heart and it feels mighty fine!
Oakbridge University – Jeshua Online
Message of the Day
Beloved one, you are approaching the holy days that you have set in order to remember not the birth of one Yeshua, but truly the birth of the Christ. You do this annually so that you have opportunity that one of these years perhaps you will remember that it is your own birth as the Christ child that you are celebrating; that one of these times you are coming to the place where you are awakening to your own divinity, awakening to your own Christ Self, awakening to the power of that divine holy Self.
Today magic was in the air. The past couple of weeks have pushed so much up to the surface. I was struck by the twisted, trunks of these trees in Golden Gate Park. The way that they are writhing about, thrown up upon the earth, creating portals and weird shapes. Strange things! It felt like all the twisted and dark things in my psyche that have been pushed to the surface by the incoming light. There is a certain beauty to be found as it rises to the surface. To know that I am now free of its constraints in my life. Ahhhhh….deep sigh of release!
As I walked and toned my way to my car, I came upon this old metal post that had been eaten away by the elements. I loved the way the ivy was growing up to cover the places that had rotted away. This new energy is doing just that. It is the bright green growth of the Creator’s love and our own love for ourselves flooding in. The love streaming in is growing vibrant and strong in our beings. It flushes out all that is not love. It is effortless on our parts. We have only to open to receive it. And though and behold, as the shameful, dark places in our beings are pushed up and out, they are returned to the love that is our truth. We are newly gowned in the green ivy of love.
I was feeling ribbons of lovelight flowing through my heart chakra. I saw dear hearts that I am connected to, at the ends of each ribbon. So much love was streaming into my heart, it was aflame. I was a conduit for this lovelight to flow to so many hearts. It was palpable and I was guided to connect on the phone with some of the folks I knew and they could feel it being transferred from my heart to theirs. So beautiful. My heart was being tuned to hold more liquid lovelight and to flow it through me to the heart of my mother, Gaia. What a beautiful dance we all participate in!
I walked to a cafe on my way to the ocean to send my voice out to her. How delightful is life with a pretty fern on my mocha and a mini almond croissant! I love that this cafe makes these croissants this size….perfect! When I buy a full sized one it is too big but I usually end up eating it all. So, love these minis. I was continuing to play with my heartlight. I spoke with a friend on the phone about my beloved and the divine partnerships that are coming through. She said that while I was talking, she was looking out through a narrow, two foot window in her house. Captured in that small viewfinder, was an eagle doing a dance in the air for her. She had not seen an eagle for about a year and as she connected with it, it said it was Linda. And then its mate appeared and they kept circling within her view until she spoke of them to me, acknowledging them, and then off they flew. Amazing! She felt it was me dancing with my beloved. I had asked my beloved for a sign from him as I began my walk on the beach. And there it was, delivered in such a magical way!! I love this universe! I love how we are gifted with so many delights if we have but the eyes to see and the ears to hear and the heart to feel.
I had brought this rock down to the beach to offer to the ocean on this portal day. It is one that I love, as it was the first gift from my wild Indian man. It represented a time of great struggle for him as he opened his heart to the truth of love. I have carried it about with me for over a year. The sea grass formed a heart with me to hold it and honor the love it held. I then tossed it into the arms of the ocean. I felt that I was allowing all the love that I have ever known to return to the great mother’s
heart. I let it all go freely but saw ribbons of heartlight trailing back to me. No love we have ever felt, given or received, can be lost. It is all connected with beautiful ribbons of multi-colored light. We are beings of love, made of love, made for love. We have been expressing all the aspects of duality in this grand adventure but now we are being called home. Home to the love that we are. Home to peace, harmony, joy. Home to our own hearts. I love you all!
I knew that these days alone held a gift for me. The other night as I was lying on the couch, playing in my heart space, an amazing sensation came over me. I was expanding the chalice of my twin flame heart. I work with my twin on this each day, pouring my love into it, asking for his love and calling on my Mother/Father God to add theirs to the mix. I then ask for the elixir to be used for peace on earth, the awakening of hearts, abundance for all……you know the list. But this night, the flame filled me and flowed out from my heart into my hands. My palms were on fire with it. I knew that they were radiating creative life energy and could indeed create the movement of returning things back to the reality of love that is in all. Wow, it felt wonderful and powerful and humbling to be an instrument in this way. My heart was on fire with this liquid love light….golden elixir.
This is my recent take on the heart, see the gold that exists as well as the tears and scarring. A bit battered and bruised, covered over, scrapped away at, stab wounds….this heart has it all. Yet the fire of love burns ever bright and is growing in size by the day. We are in transformative times and our hearts’ fire are burning through the dross, the woundedness, the victim consciousness, the buried pains from so many lifetimes in density. There is a purifying aspect to the flame. That white hot heat that releases all back to the primal elements. I relish the almost pain that I have felt flooding through me as I know that as I turn on my heart light to fan the flames, I am being given freedom. I am being given my heart anew. All scarring disappears in the heat of the flames. My heart is freer to hold and radiate light and love. My chalice expands which allows me to offer more my cup of lovelight. All on the planet are being offered this gift. You can close the door to your heart and let it pass by or choose to throw the door wide open and invite the flame to enter in. Allow the feelings of loss, of suffering, of betrayal, of grief to surface. Feel them fully and give them to the flame. Feed the fire with all that you are ready to let go of. Let it all go, stoke that fire and watch the bonfire of your heart ablaze! The freedom is worth it all. When you watch a fire burn hot and finally burn itself out, there are only the white and grey ashes left to blow in the wind. How beautiful a process….to turn all that pain into carbon that returns to the earth. Our mother accepts our sorrows in this form as now it feeds her, allows new growth to come. When we limit the flow of lovelight through our heart by storing all our refuse there, we create a burden that our mother cannot ease. Our hearts are leaden and our steps on her surface become heavy. Once we allow the fires to transmute it all back to love, we are lighter and our steps reverberate with that love.
Here is my take on my inner sun. I am pulsing pink and orange and gold with some turquoise thrown in for my watery nature. The dolphins and whales need a place to swim in me! I am feeling called to go the the warm waters and swim with the dolphins once again. Today I experienced the rays of the sun, illuminating the cold wintry air here in San Francisco. I shared a walk and lunch with my beautiful daughter who came to me 28 years ago today. Oh, how we have tested and hurt and enlivened and loved one another’s hearts through those growing years. She has been my mentor, challenging me to be more love. I am so grateful for the way our hearts now flow in such unity, how all the pain of the lessons we came to gift one another, has been fed to the flames. The ash nurtured the flowering that has bloomed so bright. I bought her a gardenia and pinned it on her as a corsage so that she could smell the sweetness of the love that she is to me. Sweet young woman, sweet heart of love. Liquid lovelight shining bright.
Oh, I love hot water bottles! Just hopped into bed to write this before sleep; clean sheets and duvet cover, a gardenia wafting its fragrance from my nightstand, my feet warmed by my “bottle”. Ahhhh….heaven on earth is with me in this moment. I discovered tonight that when I am alone I sing to myself more. I sing my songs that amaze me as they come out…sometimes very silly and sometimes flowing with poetic rhyme. I have a few days of solitude once again. Spirit is gifting me this time to go within and be. I can feel that a gift is being offered and that there is something for me to discover in this time.
I went out for a walk to my hill of rocks in search of a spot of sunshine. I did not make it to the top of the hill as this tree called to me as I walked past. I pass him each day on my walk but had not stopped to connect to him. As I came closer I discovered that a branch had been sawn off many moons ago. It jutted out like a perfect seat. I tentatively tried it out. I had to reach up a bit to land my fanny on it, but once there, I discovered that it was a perfect fit for me. I pulled up my legs and crossed them, took off my hat, closed my eyes and simply basked in the sun’s warmth. After a bit, I leaned back only to feel the delightful support of the tree branch. Truly, this was my giving tree (remember that story of the tree
who gave himself for the boy?). I sat for an hour or so in
utter delight, drifting with the sun’s rays lighting up my closed eyelids with beautiful patterns and colors. Oh, I am made for this, I thought. Peace….deep peace given freely. It had been a few days since this feeling had been with me. I have been going through the emotional releasing process of this eclipse cycle which culminates with the approaching full moon/ lunar eclipse as Saturday dawns. Lots of sadness, lots of tears. Nothing personal that I could point to rather an impersonal emotion that needed an outlet. We are past the time of needing to understand the whys of how we feel. It is time to feel fully, giving expression to what is there and to observe it as it makes its way on through.
Let it all go. I am surrendering it all. I do not know what is next, I know we are moving at the end of the month. Perhaps my son with me for a time, perhaps each off to our own journeys. I know not. I am so appreciative of this tree and the peace that he granted me today. He helped me to find home again. To find that place of knowing inside that lets all else fall away. As a society, we are losing homes, jobs, relationships, health. All that we set up before we came into this life to help us find our way back home. As we lose the outer security, as we feel overwhelmed by the circumstances and conditions of our lives or those around us……we finally lay our heads down and surrender. We may howl a bit before laying down but at some point, we are too tired to fight or resist. We let it go. We can no longer figure it out with our minds. It is our hearts shining moment as we must turn inward to our hearts and let them lead. It is time for our hearts to show us the way. to lead us out of confusion and despair.
This beautiful tree reminded me of a story that I had read to my kids when they were children. There was a farm wife who worked hard from sunup to sundown each day. her husband’s work on the farm was what got noticed and was where all the money went for labor saving devices. Her work in creating a home and all that entails, was unnoticed. She had no labor saving devices in the house. A young orphan boy comes to visit and he does not see only the barn and the male side of the farm but he sees her and takes note of how hard she works. He asks her what is her greatest desire. She points out a tree up on the hill that she has longed to walk to, to sit under and watch the sunrise. For 15 years she has had that wish each morning yet has never been freed from chores to do so. She feels that if she can just get to that tree, she will breathe easier and life will be better. This sweet boy offers to do some of her chores so that she can take that walk. I am crying just from recalling this sweet story! It is Michael O’Halloran by Gene Stratton-Porter. She was my grandma’s favorite author as well as mine. She wrote many delightful children’s books that were filled with the love of nature as well as hearts.
I think that it is time for all of us to take that walk to watch the sunrise. I am visualizing it for everyone on this planet. The freedom to live their dream, to know the peace that I found sitting in my tree. To have the time to notice the beauty that abounds. Look at this tree bursting forth its blooms that waved to me as I made my way back home. Purple and pink delight! Yesterday in my sadness, I noticed the litter on the street, the dog poop that assailed my nostrils and the sirens that went screaming by. I was the deciding factor in what was brought to my attention. I can create heaven or hell by what I chose to focus on. So, remember this quote that someone posted on facebook. It made me laugh as it is so true! Our thoughts can be quite fearsome, tormenting, ridiculous or glorious and uplifting. I am choosing to listen to my heart, whether it is weeping or singing, it is one to me. It is life on this beautiful planet of ours. Hear me, oh universe….I AM grateful!