Divine Timing and Grace

Another quiet day on the island. Had a nice nap in the sunshine on my log bench. The deer family was back with their beautiful big eyes focused on me as I awoke from my nap. Such gentleness. I was feeling the softness that is emanating from the earth. Saw it reflected in my world recently when I had a situation arise with a friend. I witnessed a distortion that was present where she was not vibrating in her truth. It occurred three different times (three is my number) and I got the message loud and clear that I was to speak to her. Uncomfortable…how and when to do it. How to speak in a way that could be loving and non-judging. How to honor her higher self while speaking with the personality self. I asked for guidance, to be shown the perfect time and for the words to flow that would be freeing. I then put it out ofmy mind. We were at an event together but the opportunity to speak alone did not arise. The morning after the event, I was packing up my things in my hotel room when she called. She said that she was guided in her meditation to call me. We had a wonderful talk, the exchange went well. The honoring flowed easily and understanding was reached. I saw how Spirit can line anything up anytime. Mine is to listen and allow. I allowed the timing to happen in divine timing. My old self would have pushed the agenda, in order to get past an uncomfortable situation as quickly as possible. By allowing it to unfold, grace was present.

Trust is so present in my moments as I sink into the knowing that I am in my perfect place doing exactly what is right for my growth at this time. How do I know this? I know this because this is where I am. This is where I have been led to. Lying on this log bench is my work of the day. I am dreaming this new earth into being. This deep rest of my physical body is informing me. I went into town today to find some cranberry capsules to help with a bladder infection. Wow, something I have not had in 30 years or more. I have not had any real physical illness in so long that I was taken by surprise. I sensed that my body was trying to move something and a couple of intuitive friends saw that it was part of the cleansing process that I am engaged in. That resonated and gave me peace. I am trusting my body to release any stored emotions in any way that she desires. I am supporting her as she does so. I love friends who help us see things, who help us stay aligned to our truth when we get lost in the illusion. Who witness our growth and affirm us in that growth. I am so grateful for them!

This is a stone altar that I came across in the woods. Such a lovely cloth of soft green moss across it, nature left its offerings of leaf and I added mine of stone and pinecone. I love being in communion with the elementals. Today I soared with the birds and allowed my heart to sing. I read this post from Yael and Doug Powell at Circle of Light :

Like a great bird on gilded wings streaming through an endless sky with freedom spilling from its wings and Love the currents upon which it flies…and always paired with another, singing songs of joy, streaming forth Love and blessing from every feather… while its wings trust the living currents to take it where they will that it may be the best expression of flight that it can…

This, dearest ones, is you. It is a symbol of your freedom, of that to which I lift you now as you are reborn in the Spirit. That which was your human identity now falls away, effortlessly and simply, as you take on being Love… as the focus of your life becomes the Real, the realms of Spirit, accessed through your heart. Your innocence, your purity, the glorious Love you are begins to appear as you, here on Earth.

I so want to have the faith and trust that the birds have. To be so present in the moment, that I do not concern myself with tomorrow but rather know that it will be filled as this moment is. We are in that betwixt and between point. We are ready to fly into each moment and glide yet this 3D world still takes money and things to make it work. There is still the outer focus that must be maintained along with the inner one. It is a difficult juggling act, staying present, yet making plans for the future. I am freer than most in this regard ( a blessing that I am mindful of each day) and yet there are moments which take me into the mind with its figuring it out propensity. We need both until we can drop the planning and plotting and simply be. I am on the leading edge of being, to open this gateway for all. I am so ready to simply fall from the sky like the birds I watched today, soaring and gliding and spinning about. I am at the threshold and it feels to me that the earth herself is holding her breath as we prepare to take this leap. All is being made in readiness. I breathe into my heart of love and know that all is well.

Going Deep

The image of these stairs work for what my life is at the moment. I am walking down into the depths of my being. Just as you cannot see where you will land from this image, I have no clear picture of where it is I am headed. I am sitting in nature and allowing her to guide me. I have no fear of the dark places anymore. I have done so much clearing out, so much cleaning of my interior spaces that I can glide down the first few stairs with ease. I can look about and enjoy the scenery that I have created for myself. I have now reached a landing and face the descent into the depths. All appears misty and dark. I recall that I am light, I can shine my own light to see what has been neglected and forgotten. It is all about perception. I might have feared this excavation in times past, but now I welcome it. I want to release any aspects of myself that have been imprisoned. I want to comfort any parts of me that have been shamed. I want to bring the light of my truth to bear upon the darkness and to set it all free. Therein lies the joy of this task…freedom. Every part of me that I reclaim, every part that I see and acknowledge, allows me to breathe deeper. I feel freer. Once every fear, every pain, every hurt and injury is addressed, there is nothing to fear. I could leave this body tonight and be at peace. For my trust in my own divinity, is complete. We are all given this opportunity at this time, to choose freedom from pain, from suffering, from limitation and lack. Freedom is in the air. We are being gifted with such support to make this journey. Call upon your angels and guides and walk hand in hand with them down the staircase to your true self. Bring your great light to bear on all. Whatever you encounter, can be loved and embraced. There is nothing too shameful to come to our open hearts. The trick is to feel it completely. I recall a time in the first months after my divorce when someone’s guides gave them a message to deliver to me. They told me that it was ok to feel the pain and sadness fully. At that time, I did not understand the message and felt a bit indignant as I thought that I was feeling it fully. Oh, what a difference time can make. It took me another year, sobbing my heart out one night alone in India, to truly allow myself to look at the pain in my heart. To recognize how numb I had been. I could only take one step at a time and spent months poised on a step, unable to move further. Now I know the “how tos” of pain release. I know to open my heart fully, feel it fully in every cell of my body, and to take the deep breaths and let go. I give it to the angels and the violet flame to transmute it back to the light. I help my mind see that there is no need to recycle it over and over. I read a quote this morning about this:

“The pain was necessary to know the truth but we don’t have to keep the pain alive to keep the truth alive.” This is from Mark Nepo’s The Book of Awakening and he goes on to say; As
anyone who has been wronged can attest, in order to keep the fire for justice burning, we need to keep burning our wounds open as perpetual evidence. Living like this, it is impossible to heal. Living like this, we become our own version of Prometheus, having our innards eaten daily by some large bird of woundedness.”

It is time to give up our woundedness, our victim hood, our sense of injustice. We have created everything in our lives to help us evolve. We were the ones who set it all up on a soul level and even chose the players in our play. So we let go of anger at anyone or thing and most of all, at ourselves. We played our part as well as we could at each point in the play as did all the others. Especially those who played the bad guys. Give them an extra round of applause as theirs was the more demanding role. It is time to forgive others as we forgive ourselves. Time to recognize that we all want peace and that we are the only ones who can give it to ourselves. Peace is an inside job. When I am at peace, the world will reflect that to me. When we are all at peace with ourselves, we will live in a peaceful world.

So descending the stairs is what this island time is to me. I am determined to uncover every last bit of delusion, illusion, damp and musty place in me. I love how brave I am to sit with myself and witness this process. To allow the space for all to be revealed. To melt into myself and to know myself as if for the first time. There have been tears of awe and gratitude for the beauty of this universe. For the generosity of my soul, for the way it works to bring me every trigger until I am trigger less. I want to stand naked before my own higher self, my mighty I AM presence and look her straight in the eye with reverence and strength. I want to merge with her and together merge into the heart of my Mother/Father God. I am ready to go home.

Home to a place that I have dreamed of in my soul. It is a place that whispers to me in the stillness. It is a place where I will be welcomed and known. It is the place that I have searched for all my life. I do not have to leave this body to find my home. It is in my heart and we are at a time in our evolution where we are free to create heaven on earth. Our mother has decided that she wants to evolve and become the star that she truly is. We get to join her and become the bright lights that we are. I loved this tree that I encountered, growing so strong and powerfully out of all the parts that have been cut down, damaged and decayed. Aren’t we beautiful in our ability to do this very thing? To take all of our suffering and our pain and use it to grow into the beauty that we are. We all know folks who have become twisted and stunted by their experiences in life. Yet, this tree shows us that there is another way and it is one of nobility and truth. We have the choice, always we have the choice as to how we will grow. I choose to see my life as a rich tapestry that I am weaving. I am grateful for every strand, some bleached white with grief, some dyed dark with blood, some so gay in their joy. All are a part of me, all are part of the whole. I choose to add my strength, my peace, my love to the whole of this earth. If it takes me turning over every damp rock on my forest floor and eating every worm found there, I will do it. I hold nothing back as I choose to be fully present in this stillness with myself. I am a warrior of the heart.

Cloud Watching

There is always a bit of a tug for me when I leave Canada. The vibration is lighter there and easier to move through. This is the Peace Arch at the border crossing near Vancouver, BC. I love this saying: “Children of a common mother.” It is great when we get it right……we are all children of our Mother Earth. We are all children of our Father Sky as we come from the stars. Our dear earth is ascending out of duality and into unity consciousness and we are going with her. As we move into unity within our own beings, we make the transition easier for her. For we are her and she is us. How beautiful it is to begin to recognize the connection to everything around us. Today is a new moon, falling right after the autumn equinox. There has been a palpable shift in energy these past few days. Have you felt the fatigue that often accompanies a download of new energy? I did and have felt overwhelmed with the vibration of love that is permeating the air. We are witnessing the shifting of an age. It is amazing. I feel reverent, grateful, exhausted, emotional. unsettled, expansive, excited, quiet……so many different feelings. I watch all move through me as the knowledge that we are NOT our experiences takes hold on deeper and deeper levels. We are great beings of light having experiences. We watch them come and we watch them go and feel such compassion and awe for our dear brave selves that waited in line to get a spot at this grand event.

I arrived on Orcas Island yesterday. The ferry was late and it was a wind tossed ride as stormy weather moved it along. It was evening by the time I found my way to the place I had rented and then busied myself with unpacking and settling in. Felt a bit alone, strange place, dark, couldn’t find my flashlight to walk back out to my car to bring in my own down comforter that I travel with. (a girl has to have her own blankie!) Walked out blind as there was no moonlight with this new moon upon us. (found my head lamp in the car..yahoo, let there be light!) Listened to the wind in the trees. Felt my bravery in approaching new experiences and places. The night before I had been lying in bed in a motor home parked in a new friend’s driveway. I laughed at myself….all the different situations that I have been in. I have learned to not question much, to simply follow guidance but at times I get a kick out of where I end up! I have learned to be comfortable anywhere and breathe into the home in my heart. I have let go of the need to know much, I follow the whiffs of inspiration, show up with an open heart and watch what happens. I had spoken to my youngest son last night and he sensed my aloneness. I said, “I am fine. It just takes me sinking into it and then I am in peace.”

This is a tree from my last walk on Bowen Island. His coat of moss enticed me over and I found myself petting him. Ha, that was his plan all along! How clever of him to grow such a fine coat, so soft and luxurious. I love interacting with nature, talking to everything and listening to what they choose to share with me. I am so enjoying the feel of the woods here in the Northwest. Damp, deep and dark in a way. Fertile and feral also. Ferns and mosses in abundance. Deep shade and patches of sunlight. Bits of water splashing about. I can sense why my soul was craving this experience. So different than the bright rocks of the desert scape of Arizona and New Mexico or the hot inland valley of California with its dry scents of sage. These forests are speaking to what is fertile and wild in my heart. Someone wrote to me of my “fierce beauty” and I was struck by that phrase. Yes, I claim that fierce beauty around me. I claim it as part of me. The forests abound in this fierceness. A beauty that almost frightens as it portends a journey deep. The forests are allowing me access to new regions in myself. The shadows come alive and ask for appreciation and love. Isn’t this where we are with ourselves? We are embracing all parts of ourselves, we are going deep to find all the bits that we have shut away, thinking them too dark, too awful, too sad, too silly, too selfish, too nasty to be seen by the light of day and certainly, not by anyone else. The forests show me that it is time to pet the dear child who felt she had to control things in order to feel a sense of safety in the world. They are showing me to love my heart that loves forever where it has once loved. I am embracing all the places that I lied to myself in order to present an acceptable face to the world. I am embracing all of me that I abandoned in trying to fit into a marriage, an educational system, family and relation- ships that did not serve me. I am forgiving myself for all the times that I so harshly judged myself. The freedom that flows once you do this! The sense of compassion for yourself arises in all its beauty. It is the sweetest nectar to taste. All guilt and shame can be embraced and allowed to flow on through. Old energies that no longer need to be carried. Think of all the emotions that we have stuffed into our bodies over the years! Is it any wonder that our bodies get ill and out of sorts? We were never meant to hold onto emotions, they were meant to be experienced and let go of. It is time to clean out the cupboards, dump all the past due items on the emotional shelves. Give yourself a good housecleaning and you will feel so much lighter! It is joy, pure joy. And your delight in yourself and your body for all that you have put you through……amazing! I cherish myself so these days. I love my body and give her whatever she desires and tell her thank you, thank you, thank you, for all that I asked her to endure. She is so beautiful, so cute! I get such joy from her and in her. I dress her in cute things, cover her in scented lotions and soaps, give her rest and wholesome goodies that delight her. Our bodies want appreciation just like everything else in this world. A friend was telling me of someone who was losing weight for the first time in forever not by her usual dieting but rather by speaking lovingly to her body. Eradicating her negative self talk about weight and using her words and thoughts to love every aspect of her body. She was delighted to find that the pounds began to fall away as her body responded to her loving treatment. It makes sense to me. Harsh gym routines, diets, etc never made sense. Let’s stop the self punishment and begin the self celebration on every level.

Today I awoke to sunshine and stillness all
around. As the day unfolded, I realized that I did not desire to use the phone and after a bit on the computer this morning, it too was put away as I had no energy to answer emails or communicate with the outside world. This log bench out front called to me and it is where I spent much of the day. I had a blanket, a pillow and my wool wrap and I lay cloud watching. I was amazed at how quickly they shape shift. Small wisps would seem to be drawn to bigger masses, to join up. It felt like what is happening now as we are being drawn to our soul families, those whom are of like vibration. We are separating out from old duty relationships of family and friends that felt heavy, and flowing with the currents of energy to those with whom we have a high resonance. It was fun to watch it being played out and to feel a part of that play. I thought of the new educational systems that will arise. How cloud watching can be an activity that allows kids to expand their consciousness. Here I am at 55 years and I have never spent more than a little while watching clouds. Yet they have lessons for me. Every day, some part of nature is calling me to class, saying, “Look! This is important. This is what matters. Learn from us. Grow with us.” I am listening. This island is a place of deep stillness and it has lessons for me. I move into the quiet, knowing that a rebirth is at hand. I am so blessed to walk this path of mine.

Time Out

Today was my last full day on this island that I love so. Here is the ferry that I will take tomorrow. The mountains were so clear today that it was a joy to take a hike for a wider view. It has been interesting to share some time with a couple that are house sitting my friend’s house. Tonight at dinner they were speaking about how they do not like to take time off as they get bored. They like to be doing all the time. They believe it keeps them young. This is such a contrast to my life of non-doing that my presence can be challenging for many. They use alcohol and nicotine to wind down their days and I thought how afraid we can be of ourselves. To be still and alone with one’s self can be a scary proposition. We are trained to keep going, to keep producing, to keep consuming, and if you feel a bit depressed, pop a pill or two and move on. To stop is seen as a failure, a red alert bulletin that something is wrong. We much prefer to maintain the illusion that all is well by the use of numbing agents like alcohol, nicotine, food, sex, TV…even reading can be an escape from time with ourselves. ( It was my drug of choice during my dark nights. Reading can be great…but it can also be an escape from our own thoughts). We make use of whatever can take us out of ourselves enough to allow us to keep playing our part in this giant game that is about to become unglued. Our society has allowed no space for a reset time. A time to step back and examine who we are in the moment. A time to be with ourselves in a deep way. A time to breath. A time to move out of time, to be so immersed in a tree or the moss covering the forest floor that a new dimension is entered. We allow only sanctioned time out. If you dare to take time out from the normal 9-5, you had better have an agenda. If you are going to volunteer in Uganda, that is worthy and noble. If you want to simply lie on your couch and watch the dust motes drift by…..that is seen as laziness. Yet the lying about can be the cocoon time that your self needs to become the butterfly. We have this analogy of the cocoon and butterfly and get it on one level but we are very uncomfortable with it on many others. We have guilt tied up with being non-productive. The guilt is a programming that we were given to keep us as obedient cogs in the wheel. Religions had a great deal to do with this as anything that was pleasurable or led to you knowing your own power, was labeled as sin. Today I participated with thousands of others in a meditation to release the sense of sin from all humans on this planet. (You can access these beautiful meditations at: http://www.childrenofthesun.org ).

We are not sinners, we are beautiful beings of light. If we allow that cocoon time, we morph into the butterflies that are full of beauty. In that beauty lies great power. This is the meat of the nut…..we are powerful beyond measure and that is terrifying to ones who have thrived by controlling us as well as terrifying to ourselves. We all carry memories of times past when we misused our power. We came into this lifetime, determined to use our power to uplift mankind and this planet. It is time to release the old fears. We have matured, we have learned our lessons. We are now capable of using our power for the benefit of all. We understand oneness. We know that what we do affects the whole. What we desire for ourselves, we desire for every man, woman, and child on this planet. How do I know that this is true? Because it is our nature! It is who we are!

Once we access our inner stillness, our lives begin to change. We begin to seek freedom and realize that time to be is true wealth. We begin to access our own power and see that we are
able to create our lives in new ways. We begin to take responsibility for the lives that we have created. We begin to see the perfection in the lessons and situations that we set up for our growth. Life starts to make sense. We begin to feel such appreciation and wonder at the underlying order of it all. We begin to let go of the illusion of control that we held. We begin to hear our own wisdom. We begin to trust ourselves instead of an outside authority. We begin to know ourselves as a part of the whole tapestry of life. We begin to feel our divinity. We begin to fall in love with the whole world. We begin to fall in love with ourselves.

Those last two lines seem backwards and yet for me, it has been much more challenging to fall in love with myself than it has to fall in love with the world. Self love is the piece that truly sets us free. When we can cherish ourselves as much as we do the environment, the starving children, the rain forests. and all other worthy causes…….we are home free. Because you see, we are the microcosm of the whole. So if you are living your life responsibly concerning the environment, recycling, signing petitions, taking public transport and all the rest but you are beating yourself up inside with words like: “I am too fat. I should be working harder, I am too slow. I am lazy. I should have handled that differently..I really screwed up there,” you are polluting the environment. So you may be taking positive actions on the outer but on the inner, by allowing toxic comments by yourself to yourself, you are sending out negative energy. Self love is therefore the greatest gift you can give yourself as well as the planet.

As the autumn makes its way, take some time to watch the leaves turn color, to witness their beauty as well as your own. You are so beautiful!

Happy Equinox!

Equinox is here……the balance of day and night. The inner balance of our various bodies: emotional as we let go of triggers and move into our heart to express only love; mental as we become the observer and watch our thoughts from a place of detachment; physical as we adjust our diets and movements to reflect our newness; spiritual as we move deeper into our being and claim more of ourselves as our own. There is so much going on! And yet it is happening for each one of us by ourselves, with ourselves. I love that we are moving out of religions, gurus, and prophets and into our own knowing. The new earth is an age of experience of the divine personally. Each of us is opening and flowing with our own light. We are becoming sovereign in our own containers. We are flowing like this stream of water that looked like liquid light to me today as I took my walk. I have been here on this beautiful island for a few days. There are lovely hikes and woods to explore and I was in joy to find that today my body had rested enough to desire to take a longer walk. My old way might have found me being hard on myself for not taking advantage earlier of these walks. The new me is so appreciative of the rest that I have had, of the lovely views from the windows of this house, of my dear friend who has allowed me this space in her home, of the nurturing that I have received from the trees outside my bedroom window.

Self love and appreciation are pathways to the ascension. We are the ones who have to let go of the inner critic. We can see it for what it is. I am such a freedom lover as an aquarian that as soon as I saw that I had been programmed to imprison myself with toxic thoughts, I began the work of finding an escape route. I started by talking to myself like one of my children. I called myself, “love”. “It is alright, love. You are doing so well. ” Over and over I turned to loving thoughts when the criticisms came in. I had to reset myself from the patterns of guilt, shame and self consciousness. None of it happened overnight but once you are conscious of a pattern, it begins to light up in your brain when it is activated. You then have the opportunity to examine it and decide if that is a thought that you want running in your head. I was listening to a utube video that equated thoughts to energy. How do we want to spend our energy? So many of our thoughts are toxic or reruns that give us no return. These thoughts make us feel bad or anxious or throw us back into a victim role. We can chose to let them go, float by us with no attachment. We can decide to turn our attention to thoughts that give us a return, that make us feel good. We all want to feel good. We are made for joy!

I love the mist on the pathway today. Aren’t you just drawn to peer around that bend and see what awaits you? I feel that is where we are. We are in the mists, we cannot see clearly yet but we see enough to entice us to keep going. We are seeing the hearts opening around us. We are experiencing people reaching out to one another in new ways. We are seeing companies that have mission statements of benefiting all. We are seeing folks begin to focus on and tell the uplifting stories. We are feeling our own inner joy gush up like a spring.

I burned my list of what I am ready to let go of once and for all this powerful day of fall equinox. I am ready to let go of all fear. I am interested how by setting that intention, my being responds with situations to trigger any fears that remain. I am so grateful for this as I witness them arise, give voice to them and let them go with love for how they protected me at some point on my journey. There is no longer any need for me to hold them and my body wants to be light! I do not want any pockets of dense stale energies as I am ready to fill all my being with light.
I let go of all heartache and betrayal. I open my heart fully to every experience. I let go of the need for anyone or anything to show up in a certain way. I embrace it all in love. I let go of the need to protect my heart in any way. That does not mean that I do not set boundaries, I do. As that is a way that I love myself. I no longer will put myself in situations where I am not honored and respected for who I am. I choose to be treated well as I deserve that as we all do. We can let go of people and situations that drain our energy. There are no gold stars handed

out for allowing yourself to be attacked or demeaned by others. (I used to think that I was amassing a collection this way!) We have a responsibility to show others how we are to be treated. We can walk away from toxic people, thoughts, situations. We can walk away from societal norms that say we must honor our mother when she is not honoring of us. We can hold her in love yet choose to limit or close contact that does not feel good. Feeling good is the simple guidance system that we have been gifted with. Your body can tell you whether something is good or bad for you. I have learned to listen to mine and respect her wisdom. We are programmed to believe that we have to push it to exercise, to eat right, to get up and do. The surprising thing is, our bodies know what they need. If we allow it free rein, instead of turning on us, it will care for us in remarkable ways.

I can hear you saying, ” I would eat a gallon of ice cream every day. I would become fat. I would be lazy.” Who is saying these thoughts? I have tried the experiment. I have laid on my couch until I felt the stirring to move. I have allowed myself to eat anything that I desire when I desire it. What I have found is that you cannot eat junk food for very long before you crave vegetables. My body takes the rest she needs and I do not judge her if it is longer than my mind had decided was long enough. Isn’t it strange that we are taught that we cannot trust our bodies? They are a source of great wisdom and yet we have been programmed to turn their care over to the medical profession (who is benefiting from this arrangement?? Not you. The pharmaceutical companies for sure.)We wait for some authority to tell us what is good to eat and what harms us. This changes frequently and folks feel weighted down by all the advice that they are given. How about listening to your body to see what feels good? We are all individuals, each of us has unique needs. No one is the authority of your body but you. No one understands how it feels but you. When your throat tightens when someone throws their anger your way, when your stomach clenches at the thought of going to work the next day, when your head begins to pound at the thought of holidays with the family, when you gag after taking vitamin pills…….these are messages. This is your body’s wisdom delivering a truth. Listen! It is all so simple.

We truly can become like little children once again. In fact, we must to enter in, to enter the kingdom as our brother, Jesus said. We need to express our emotions freely and completely, we need to move about as our bodies desire, we need to allow ourselves to become lost in what we are doing as we are having so much fun that time disappears. We need to let of any idea of knowing anything. We can show up each moment and play with our friends as co-creation is the name of the game!

Today begins a portal of transformation through 11-11-11. Take advantage of all the help that is offered by the universe to step into the new earth at this time. It is like the greatest coupon arriving in your mailbox. Special offer, from now until 11-11-11, divine love is flooding the planet. Beings from inner earth and from the universe and beyond are here to help you ascend all that you need do is open your heart and ask to receive. How easy is that! There is even a guarantee, if you intend that you will open to the light and become more light…you will!

I see my light and delight in it. I see yours and filled with such joy. Turn your heart lights on!

Pink blossoms, muffins and Shambhala Masters

Sitting in bed at 11:33 pm eating the remains of this morning’s delicious muffin. Last night I did not sleep much at all. I felt nauseous and out of sorts, the earth was moving on some deep level and I with her. Today I napped in the late afternoon with the feeling that I could sink into the bed forever. We are entering into the equinox, the time of balance. Am I turning upside down in mine? Many are feeling overwhelmed as they continue to push themselves to work that seems to have no end and schedules that allow no room to breath. This is happening everywhere as there is less staff and more work in most businesses. People try to keep up, to juggle all the balls in the air until eventually something gives. For me, I began to cry in meetings, cry in my office, tears of frustration that it was not possible to do all that was asked. For many it is their health that gives way and allows a way out. All strives for balance and what is not in balance will come to the fore for resolution. The old way of moving through the world will not be sustained in the new energies. This can feel frightening yet each moment offers the possibility of balance and peace. For me it seems that it all comes down to trust. Trusting that all will be well. The old way of trying to control it all is not working. Doing more is not the answer. Surrender is the name of the game.

The rain today is feeding my soul. As did these pink hollyhock blossoms, catching the raindrops and filtering the misty light through their petals. I am in this blue/green/grey/white world of forests, mists, and waters and then there is this wild pink! A shock almost of color that dances across my heart. I am a lover of pink. One of the things I loved so about India was the use of bright pink and orange together. I was just doing a meditation where they described the color of the love flooding in as pink-orange! Of course.
Today a friend called to ask me to vision with her. She began to tell me what had come to her to prompt the call. She saw us looking down at a “verdant valley”. Those two words triggered an outburst of sobbing. I was sitting in a cafe at the time but the tears knew no time. I could not say what it was but it was as if the words were a key that opened a deep recess in my being. Every cell in my body knew to respond to those words. We journeyed into a space of such beauty. She is the visionary, I the feeler. Together we see. We were asked to don our Shambhala robes. We were told that we had earned them and that they were eternal. More sobs. Shambhala masters were with us, greeting us and working with us. We were seeding our visions of the New Earth. The women were in a circle, then an outer circle of men. Light came streaming in the center of our circle. My free hand was moving, weaving the strands of light. There were babies coming in, we were holding them. Then the men bent down to gather the babes in their cloaks, guarding and protecting them. It was so beautiful as it was the new masculine, sure in its strength and clear in its role. The women were laughing and dancing, flirting with the men as they were free to play. The raising of the children was shared by the fathers as well as the trees, the air, the elementals. The babies were so protected and honored by all. I cried at the freedom for the young women, to dance and laugh and be in their joy. And I cried at the pride of the young men as they delighted in the women’s play and in their strength as the protector. The babies were so excited to be here, to be in this place of peace and joy. Codes of light streamed down from the heavens. The earth opened to receive this light with such reverence. All felt sacred.
The time is here. We are called to our roles. I feel drawn to the stillness to purify my being. To make sure that there is no distortion in my field as this template must be laid down in truth and in peace. All that is not truth, will be magnified so it must come through with purity and love. We have been witness to the distortions in Atlantis and other times and I cannot bear to have it end so. Every part of me is focused on bringing this vision through in its pristine wholeness and holiness.
I write and speak these things not to elevate my ego but rather to aid in my own adjustment to who I am. We are each beings of great light. We are masters or we would not be on the earth at this grand juncture. My personality self shies away from claiming my self hood. As I speak of these things, Shambhala master robes, being a creator being, crowns of stars…I am allowing myself to breathe into the vastness of who I am. I know that we cannot play small any longer. We must shine our full light out into the world. As I step into my truth, I widen the space for each one to enter into their truth.
Here is a fairy house I came upon in the woods. Isn’t it cunning the way the spider wove the roof and the leaves laid the carpet? My grandchildren will be able to play with the fairies openly, all will be seen and known. The delight of this knowing, fills my heart. The fairies are pretty excited too! They are ready to be seen and interacted with on a grander scale. All is ready to be seen on a grander scale. We are ready to be seen by others and most importantly, by ourselves on this grander stage. I love the costumes! We get robes of fabulous colors and textures as well as swords, crowns, staffs, unicorns and dragons to ride and crystals and wands to play with. We do indeed get to be as little children again as we learn to live in the moment. I heard Lindsey Wagner speak (the actress who played the Bionic Woman on TV years ago) and she said to watch little children emote. They are so dramatic in their tears and tantrums but then they are free to feel the next wave of emotion that comes if we do not stop the process. If we allow the expression, it clears and they are free of the emotion. I loved this quote of Lindsey’s: “Pain is a wave. Suffering is a sea wall.” That really hit home for me. It is time to ride the waves in our lives. We can be choose exhilaration or terror. It is all our choice. I am ready for the ride of my many lives!

Rest and Appreciation

“The important thing is this: to be able, at any moment, to sacrifice what we are for what we could become.”

Maharishi Mahesh Yogi

Little treasures that I found today that pleased me so.

A friend sent this quote my way and it resonates for today. This is the detachment that I am learning. To live each moment fully, savor it and then to let go completely. So that I am fully present for the next moment. We tend to hang on to beautiful moments, replaying them in our minds. Actually, we do this with difficult moments also, running that loop in our mind as we try to make it resolve in a new way. It is a form of non- trusting. Non-belief that life will continue to create beauty that we have not even imagined. Non-belief that each experience has its gift for our growth contained within. Accepting the perfection of ALL that comes our way. I want all of it. I want what I have not experienced, the delights that are undreamed in my limited imagination.

I am ready to sacrifice who I am as that is my nature as an evolving being on this planet. I know that I have many more incarnations of Linda Marie in this body to experience. I love sharing with friends the reflections of our growth. Acknowledging the ways that we have grown and changed. It is important to see the twists and turns in the road and how we have grown from taking the path in front of us. So many are softening their hearts. So many are letting go and allowing life to move without such resistance. There are so many signs of this shift abounding.

I was speaking with a friend about this and laughing at who we are today as compared to even a month ago. We are both resisting less, accepting the gift of all in our lives. It is easier to take a wider perspective as we view events in our lives. There is less drama and more peace. Less irritation with others and more gentleness with ourselves. That is such a big one. I am so easy and light with me these days. I praise myself for all the little things that I do well and embrace the growing part of me as I learn new skills. I have let go of the comparison game: no more asking why I am not making my living channeling Archangel Michael though he speaks to me frequently. Why am I not settled in a home? Why don’t I get the visions that another does? Why am I not offering some sort of service to others? I am so grateful these days for each of my friends gifts and celebrate them and their expression in the world. I am also so grateful for my gifts and celebrate my movement in the world. I see more clearly the part that I play and am so grateful to have been called to play it. After all, how many of you could have traveled about in your car for two years, with very little direction and understanding of your role other than whiffs of energy that you chased across the country? Ha, I know that the idea of the total freedom that I have had seems like bliss yet I see clearly that each path has its challenges for the one taking it. My doer self had to make peace with doing nothing that the outer world could recognize as something. My identity has had to come from an internal sense of self worth, that my beingness on this planet is my gift. My practical mind had to let go of outer security (insurance, retirement accounts, income) and rest in inner security. Sounds easy in words but it was hard won in the days and nights alone on the road. Often I could see no point in my zigs and zags and had no way to communicate my path to others in a language that made sense.

“You just drive about the country?” Um, yes I do. “What exactly are you doing ?” Um, I do not really know. I think I transmute energy, and anchor energy. “How do you do that?” I do not really know I just know when it is happening. “How do you support yourself?” I am living off the sale of my half of my former home to my wasband. “Well, lucky you, the rest of us have to work hard and sacrifice to maintain our lives.” Well, I own only a 17 year old car and some camping equipment. If you sold what you own, you could be free also. It is a choice. (Of course, I recognize that I am in a unique position of not raising children or being tied down by a spouse and have the blessing of some money in the bank. I do not underestimate the gift of all of this.)

You can see that it has had its challenges as well as its joys. It is the same for each of us, no matter what it looks like on the surface. My youngest son is having the challenge to not think of ways to make money but to rest in the supply that is offered to him in this moment and trust that rest is the most that he can give to the planet at this time. He has to let go of the productivity implant that equates worth with what you produce. He is given the gift of time to be in the stillness so that the beauty can be nurtured and then sprout from a place of strength and renewal. I would gift this time to all if I could yet we each create what we need as the next step or learning on our path. For another dear one of mine, it is to make a living and support herself fully in the world. What is a challenge to one, is a piece of cake to another. We all create exactly what we need. That is why judgment can be so heavy, we believe we know something about another from our perspective but from theirs, it can be that the exact opposite is true. We can only know about our path and our lives.

“Deep rest is essential to ascension” says a wise friend of mine. I had not thought of it that way but it is true. We need time to integrate the enormous changes that are taking place in each one of us. And they are enormous! Our bodies are changing at the speed of light and we need to honor them as they morph in front of our eyes. So many strange ascension symptoms……heart burn as our heart chakras expand, headaches and dizziness as downloads of light come in, tingling legs and feet as we ground more fully into our Mother Earth, nausea and digestive issues as our bodies desire a change in diet. Need for sleep at odd hours and awake as I am at 3 am when the outer world is quiet and my inner being wants to commune. So I soak in the gift of time and drift in this space. I am a wayshower of the state of being. My time of action in the world is fast approaching but it will come from a firm foundation of beingness where all I do, I do with joy. And where I know that my presence is enough, the rest is for the experience and joy that it brings. I am a co-creator of this new earth, and my job is to show up with all of me in each moment and to follow my guidance as to how to serve this beautiful world. I honor each of you for how you serve. Espavo!

Experiencing Heaven on Earth

Here is the view from the kitchen window where I am at present. You see the ocean, the mountains and can speak to the trees. Today I looked out my bedroom window and saw a deer lying next to the fence, quietly staring at me. The window was open as I love the cool salt air streaming in as I snuggle under the soft pink sheets and white downy duvet. I said hello and we had an exchange. She was so sweet and content in her cedar bower. I felt one with her, nestled on the moist earth, feeling the elements around me. The other night I floated free in my friend’s amazing Japanese soaking tub. The experience is very different from the usual plastic hot tub. It is so soothing to smell the wet wood, feel the heat of the water, float on your back in the De Vinci original man (or in this case, woman) pose of arms and legs outstretched. I stared at the stars, smelled the pine trees and felt that I was an element…..water, wood, earth, sky, stars, linda. All of a piece, oneness.

Add the fragrance of lavender and I am part of heaven on earth. I picked this bouquet for my window sill so that the breeze from the open window wafts it across to my slumbering form. Truly heaven can be found now on this earth. It is our perception that creates it. There is magic abounding but we have to tune in to it. As we slow down and find the pathway in the stillness, we are gifted with so many insights. All of nature truly conspires to uplift and delight us. Makes sense to me as I wish to uplift and delight those around me. In our oneness, we tap into our eternal nature which is love. And love is always giving. There is no holding back, no discrimination or judgment of who is worthy of love. We love because it is who we are. It is not given to receive as we have been taught. It is given, as to not give, makes us separate from our truth. Our truth is that we are beings of light and love and we radiate that in every moment. It is our choice to line up with our truth or not but in the end, all will return to love as there is no other path. There is a saying that all roads or paths lead to God and my belief is that God is love. So all paths are the path to love. When we surrender to this path, we feel such a relief as we accept that giving love is our natural state. We have known this all along and have felt the weight and pain of closing our hearts in any way to anyone.

It is time to throw open our hearts and rejoice in the truth of our being. I love myself for loving as I do. Someone may return my love with anger or mistrust but it matters not. I can smile inside as I know the effort it takes to maintain such a stance. And I know that sooner or later, each one will come to the truth of love. I give my love as a blessing, it stands. It may not be accepted by them at the moment, but at the perfect time for them, they will open their hearts and my love will be there like a shining crystal that they can take into their heart to add to their own heart light. Heart light…..two years of my song playing in my head…turn on your heart light. I am beginning to see the strings of heart lights gather and soon it will look like the most glorious Christmas with all the heart lights strung, turned on and shining through the darkest night. We can navigate any path ahead as heart lights will be lighting each step of the way. The fun thing is that the more that you turn on your heart light, the brighter it shines. By using its voltage, you are granted more. What a system!! I love this universe of ours! I love you.

Dancing out the Bones

Island living…..I love the water. My Avalon Priestess self is so happy today. I am looking out at the misty mountains, everything dissolves into the blues, greys and greens of my soul. I am awash in moisture and pristine air. My body rejoices. I am a sun lover, delighting in the joy of its rays yet I am sinking into this mist and greyness with delight. It suits for this moment and in truth, that is all that there is. With the weather changes in our world, all is in flux and I do believe that we will be free to travel with our light bodies in quick and easy ways that will make changing our climates a matter of a thought and whoosh….off we go!

My shin bone is still sore and carrying the cuts from my dancing out my bones. Here is one of the stories from my workshop experience with Tom Kenyon. At various points throughout the workshop, he would put on different types of music and have us close our eyes and move to it. This piece of music had a tribal beat, it felt aboriginal to me. I was dancing near the side of the stage, letting my aboriginal self have her day, and allowing the energy to come from my bones. Tom had instructed us to breathe from our bones, exhale from our bones. There was a small set of two metal steps leading from the stage. I hit that in my dance and owww!! Intense pain shot through my leg. It stopped me in my tracks. I had to go in search of ice and band aids. I heard loud and clear from my bones: “You have not released our grief, you have stored it in us and now is the time to dance it out.” Wow! Ok, that was quite a wake up call! Nothing subtle about these bones of mine. this picture I took of tree roots reminded me of bones The shin bone is about as close to the surface as our bones get so I received the message loud and clear. Even now, a week or two later (time eludes me) the cuts and tender raised bumps are still there. I realized that I have done much to speak to my cells and atoms and organs, releasing releasing releasing. But I had not considered my bones. Everything in this universe of ours wants ATTENTION. Everything wants affirmation and love. I am loving my bones, beautiful tender bones.

The story continued that evening as Tom used his amazing voice to take us on a journey. He does not speak of his experience, but allows each to have their own. Many shamans and beings come through his voice. I was taken to graveyards of bones all around the earth. They were crying out for attention, for someone to grieve over them, to release the suffering and torment trapped in their marrow. They came to me, asking me to dance out their sorrow, to honor their memories, to acknowledge the pain. I was overwhelmed with the scope, the fields upon fields of bones holding such sorrow. Whew. I accepted their request and gave my heart to feeling and transmuting their pain. I have been dancing, dancing as I allow the tears to fall. As so much love floods the planet, the denser energies, all that is not love, asks to be released. It is time to acknowledge it and let it go. This was mine to do, this is when I understand the phrase:”My burden is light.” All returns to the light like a moth to the flame. I wanted the bones to be free to return to the earth, disintegration happening as their burden was released.

I shared this with a friend and she saw me putting a single flower on each bone. That is so me as I love to gift flowers, they are the language that I speak. Later she saw me dancing through fields and fields of flowers. Oh the joy! How simple it all is. I am so grateful to my bones and to the fields of bones that sought my attention. What joy to allow all to move to the light. What joy to be in harmony with my bones and exchange love so freely once again. I love the magic and simplicity of life. I love my bones!

September Stillness

I have to get a new format for this blog as this formatting is awful! Please excuse it, can’t seem to fix it so am just going to send it out. I have been here with a friend from Virginia and my two sons. My elder son had driven up from California for the 9-11 event (One, the Event) in Seattle that a group of friends from Virginia had acted as guides and activators for. My son and I added our energy to the mix. During that weekend, I received a strong knowing that my youngest son’s energy field was being compromised and that he needed to leave San Francisco straight away. My elder son called his brother, the feeling was verified and he decided to come to Seattle to join us for our trip to Orcas. It all happened easily as it does when it is right. I booked a flight for the next day and then my son called to say a friend was driving to Seattle the next day so he had a ride all the way! I had booked the flight directly with the airline as the Cheap ticket and Orbitz sites felt too confusing for me. That was fortunate as with one phone call, the ticket was cancelled and fully refunded. Perfect! I had left my car in Portland, rather reluctantly as you know how close Maxie and I are. She has all my stuff in her and it was difficult to know what I might need. But I knew that I needed the 3 hour drive from Portland to Seattle to harmonize with my eldest son before we arrived at the event. Again, all flowed with ease and grace as my younger son and his friend stopped in Portland to spend the night with a friend of mine. He then drove Maxie up to Seattle so we were all reunited! We took the ferry over to this island that has a primordial energy about it. Deep forests abound that seem to engage the depths of my being. I have felt a bit confined as the walk from the house we have rented follows a narrow gravel road cut into the dense forest. I am a vista gal, need that open space. Here is the western view from the front yard, so it has been delightful to sit and look out over this sound and watch the
play of the shadows and light on the water. This was taken this morning as the sun was just reaching over the eastern hillside. The clouds were tinged pink with delight at the new day approaching. I felt the pinkness of the day as I had a nap on the rough hewn log bench out front. I was savoring the heat of the sun on my face, as well as feeling a bit chilly, wishing someone would come and tuck a blanket around me. I knew that I could call out and one of my sons would have gladly obliged or I could have hopped up and gotten one myself but I did not want to disturb the stillness by sound or movement. It was so delicious. Instead I imagined the warmth enveloping me and dropped into a deep slumber. Magical moments!

My Virginian friend left by seaplane today, what fun to see her off. It seemed a great way to move to and fro from the island and Seattle. My sons and I had the evening alone and some deep fears surfaced for me. My older son had been feeling it and was relieved that they surfaced as were we all. I sobbed out my fear that our creation would not come to fruition. We have a vision of what we are to birth in this new earth and I have held that vision for lifetimes. There was a relief that I was able to sink into today that the three of us had made it to this point. We had each witnessed the other go through periods of tremendous pain, confusion and despair. We had honored the holiness of each one’s choice (I love that phrase….it is borrowed from a friend) though we watched with grief in our hearts as each came through the darkness to find ourselves in our own light once again. The shadows provided the strengthening needed. To finally sigh into that strength and feel it amongst us…….it is hard to describe how my heart heaved and swelled with gratitude. With my youngest son stepping out of the 3D world of work and schedule, we are now the trinity needed to seed our creation. He needs a period of deep rest as do I. We are each going our separate ways for the next 3 weeks to integrate what has transpired. To relax into the stillness with the knowledge that we are on track and on time. Tears of relief, gratitude, and love flowed. We are here at this auspicious time, we are strong, we are shining our light and remembering who we are. It is a celebration. All is well. All is very truly well with our world.