I have slept my first two nights at a lovely campground just outside of Mount Shasta on Lake Siskiyou. I can see the mountain peak from my picnic table and that gives me great pleasure. Yesterday I met a new friend who took me to a quieter access to the lake. We swam and sunbathed and chatted. So nice to share the afternoon with such a dear heart. I had first camped 15 miles south of Shasta at a state park Making the transition to Shasta was a bit confusing in the heat of the day with many different reports of whether it was advisable to camp on the mountain at the primitive sites. Snow still makes many of the
areas inaccessible. I opted against isolation and cold temperatures to this more moderate setting. You see I am learning…it does not have to be hard! That was the old me. This campsite/resort is close to town, there are other folks around, beach and store nearby, lake where you can rent kayaks and canoes and my campsite is on the back loop so backs up against the forest. I can’t see any other campers from my site. The women assigning me the site was a bit concerned about me wanting the back loop, thought it was too isolated for me on my own. I assured her that was my idea of heaven. She said, “well, give a loud shout if you need someone and there ought to be someone close enough to hear.” Lovely how she wanted to care for me.
During the process of finding this campsite, I went through a range of emotions. I felt brave to once again be out charting waters, having no idea what it is I am looking for. I felt a bit weary of this nomad life. I felt a responsibility to have it all figured out for my son, who had joined me as well as for friends who are coming in next week for an event. I know that I am only responsible for me but the thought was there. I felt fatigue as I adjusted to the altitude and mountain air. I felt a sense of chaos in the town itself as I tried to find my way around. I felt unhappy that I was receiving no further guidance to help me make my way. When will I give up this notion of finding Shan
g-ra-la? My personality self is ready for a little cottage to call home with a garden out back to play in. Yet my soul keeps following this mysterious calling to my greater home. I know the journey is important but I began to wonder that perhaps two years of journeying is enough. I thought of all the lovely places that I had been offered to rest for a longer stint of time and yet left. Why? Why did I go on when I could have been comfortable? These are some of the thoughts that swirled through my mind.
Ah….my son booked on out, back to spend a couple of days celebrating his girlfriend’s birthday. Watched abandonment issues come up…and go. Once I got my tent set up and settled in, peace returned. Birds are flitting about the campsite, children’s voices rise and fall in shrieks from the lake, bees buzz. The mountain retains his dignity against the blue sky. I am sheltered by two huge pine trees that provided a wonderful canopy during a late afternoon thunderstorm that blew in. My tent’s rainfly did its work beautifully and the trees took good care of me so that I could be in the storm without getting drenched.
Dreams have been interesting. I had a life review one night. I was with an angelic being and we went through my life with a fine tooth comb. I awoke several times during the night with ahas..so that is what that was about! Each time, I would go back into the review and proceed. It was not easy nor fun but
at the end I felt good about what I had done thus far. I was told that it was necessary to complete before I could meet my beloved. Hmmm…ok then, check that off the list. The next night, I dreamt of experiencing events in this current life differently. I felt the pain of other choices as if they were indeed the ones that I had made. Some alternate reality show, it seems. Met a famous artist who admonished me that it was time to do my art and create infinity symbols! I had just completed a drawing that had a series of infinity symbols between a couple’s hearts and their
chalice of the heart. That is the Creator’s light pouring into the chalice as She/He forms the trinity of their union, asking for Her/His participation in what is created by their love.
Yes, I can feel the art needing expression. Another reason for a place to be, to have space for art making on a bigger scale.
There is energy building for this event next week, an opening of a portal to Shamballa. Many folks are coming in to town and I am excited to be with some old friends and meet others that I have know of from the internet or read their work. I know that I am anchoring peace here and helping to set the stage for the event. It feels like I will meet members of my soul family and that will inform my next step. Maybe I am really Nancy Drew or Miss Marple in a detective novel, following the clues to this mysterious life on planet earth! So, one clue…..head to Shasta, could be for the summer. Check. Find a place to stay……that has not panned out yet but while it is summer, camping suits me just fine. I love sleeping on the ground and having a ceiling of stars to look at during the night. Some things are more of a challenge, like charging my cell phone as I am not driving enough to do it in the car and so need to head into a cafe in town and sit next to an outlet. Same for the computer. I am typing this at my campsite and then need to head into town to get connected to the internet to post it. So…..communication is a bit trickier. I miss reading some of my favorite sites and blog posts but you can’t sit at a cafe as long as I used to be on the internet at night when I have connection. I need to charge up my little shuffle so that I can listen to my meditations and songs. Today I will browse the bookstore for a new novel to entertain me at night.
My son will soon be back with me as will a dear friend who is coming for two weeks. So this alone time is fleeting which makes me savor it more. So off to town for internet, charging electronics, ice for the cooler and a novel. Then the afternoon by the water..oh, yes, need to get some more sunscreen as I got burnt from my time out yesterday. Baby white skin and intense sun….ow! Moving slowly with the gentleness I feel in the air today.