An Aha of Major Proportions

Heart rocks…..I love them and have left collections wherever I have lived. I am thinking of my beautiful daughter with this recent heart rock that the Rogue River gifted me with. A friend who is very perceptive in all things related to me (what a gift this is!) has a standard line that she uses when she sees something in me. “Ok, do you want to know what that is?” She posed this question recently in relation to my daughter. She asked me if I wanted to understand the cause of my daughter’s childhood rebellion. “Yes, I do.”

“She was in a state of rage at you for giving away your power. ” Wow!!! That hit me like a bucket of cold water. A shock to the system, to be sure. Yet its truth resonated in my cells. I had given away my power in my marriage and she, who knew me so well, was calling me on it. I had thought it was because I was the mother in this lifetime instead of the other way around but no. This was it. I called my girl and asked if this resonated with her. It did. I told her that I was sorry for abandoning myself and in doing so, abandoning her. I asked her for forgiveness which being the beautiful soul that she is, she readily gave. I thanked her and
told her how much I loved her. I saw how unsafe she felt all those years as I did not create the container of safety for her. She needed the strong feminine. I have always been strong but it played out in a different way in my marriage. That was a time of operating under the old paradigm where I thought by giving and giving myself away or by enmeshing with the heavier energies, I could aid in transforming them. Let me tell you that took a different kind of strength. Thank goodness, that time is over. Contracts complete, lessons learned, grace given.

My friend said that my daughter is coming into her power more fully now as she sees me claiming mine. I do know who I am these days and it feels so good! I love seeing her embracing her beauty and strengths and moving more fully into the goddess that she is. I love that I could acknowledge and own this revelation with no feelings of guilt for my actions. The old way would have seen me undone by this revelation, feeling such heavy helpings of shame and guilt. Yuck! I am so glad that I know how false those emotions are, how they only serve to keep us from our truth and our power. I can acknowledge what I did, see and understand the

illusion that I was operating under that resulted in those actions, take steps to make amends where I see the harm that I created and forgive myself. I was as conscious as I could be at that period of my life and now I am more awake and operating from a different view point. Hallejuah! It awakens compassion for everyone when you know that all are doing the best that they can in each moment. That best may not seem like it to me yet in truth, I know that if they could do better, they would. We all want to be good, to serve in some way, to give to the world.

These lovely redwood trees reminded me of the importance of stepping back to gain a better view. Up close to their bases, you see the immensity but lying down, you see another world of their height and reaching to the heavens. I am glad to be firmly planted on this earth, roots like my beloved redwood that embraced me in her huge cavernous cavity at her base, and yet to be touching the stars with my being that is connected to the cosmos. What a wonder this time is. Who knew we could live without the shackles of guilt and shame and blame. That we could rise up like the redwoods, seeking the light and in doing so, providing deep restful shade for others around us. Hear me, oh universe, I am grateful this day.

Seeing the Plan Behind this Racing About

I awoke at 2:30am with the thought of getting on the road. I wanted to try to get through a big chunk of the desert before the heat of the day. I was gifted with a shooting star and then a glorious sunrise. Both made me a happy camper but then… yesterday had been a bit heavy with negative thoughts whirling in my head like a storm. Today followed in that vein. The new energies that we are living in are forcing out the old as it can no longer exist in the same space. Transparency, is also a welcome part of the new energy. All that was hidden is being revealed. This was the source of my negativity…I was given information about my former husband’s activities that was news to me. At the end of our marriage, after years of deceit, he had told me that he had shared everything and there were no more lies to be uncovered. I forgave him and ultimately got to the place where I told him that I released him from blame and thanked him for playing his role so well. But, lo and behold, this new energy that reveals all, brought to the fore that lies had been woven into the fabric of the 24 years of our marriage. There was much that was hidden. Five years after leaving and yet I still felt ill from this news. It took some major clearing work to release the layers of betrayal that it brought up once again. The hurt that keeps on hurting. Of course, that is my choice and I had to have a friend remind me to feel and embrace the pain and to then release it. To watch it move on through as it was only coming forward to be released. I felt compassion and right on its heels, gratitude for the freedom and joy for the life that I now live. Fortunately, the new also carries peace which is the vibration that I choose to live in. So, you can see it has been a challenging journey all by myself in my car!

Back to the story: So I was feeling the enormity of the distance in front of me and whined to my closest masters…(isn’t it always to those who are dearest to us that we reveal our whining selves!) Archangel Michael, El Morya, Mother Mary, Sophia, (my I Am Presence), I need your help and I need it now!

“I am tired of this driving about like a wild thing. This is my last trip like this. I need to see the picture of what this is. I want a place to call home and a dresser! I am so tired of digging in my trunk for stuff. Why oh why am I doing this yet again? Thousands of miles across the desert in the summer…please! I want to be on the coast feeling the ocean breeze.”

So a picture popped in. Complete, beautiful and the whine drained right out of my voice. I am

completing a loop that began last summer at Shiprock with a few other beautiful souls when we were told that we were bringing in the new earth matrix. We were told that it was an appointment that we had made 26, 000 years ago and the elders were delighted that we had all shown up. From there, our group drove and completed a circle that ended in Santa Fe. During this year, I have been traveling as the seed carrier and adding vibrations and codes. I recently spent time with all but two of the original folks, though I have been in contact by phone, email and energetically with the two. Many others contributed their vibrations and codes to the seeds. Mount Shasta and Shiprock work in concert as the male energies that were needed so that I could now return to plant the seeds in Santa Fe, a feminine power spot on the planet. I love these two mountains, so powerful in their maleness and yet so caring of me in my femininity. It is time for the return of the feminine and these seeds have been blessed with beautiful new codes and information. By driving the same route, I am completing the circle for the group. I saw the ribbon of light that was strung as I connected with so many people over this year. I saw how each one gave something to the seeds that I carry. I was the one chosen to do this, it is my work. I cried when the picture came in and felt such gratitude for the mystery and also precision of it all. It is so beautiful…we each have our parts to play and for the most part, are unaware of how grand the pageant truly is. We are all so beautiful!

The day goes on…there is more to release! I drove this route at this time last year with a friend accompanying me in her car to escort “the bride”. It was the drive to meet and merge with my beloved who I had met the month before. He and I had both prepared with healings, fastings, prayers and sweats. He in the sweat lodge of the tribal lands, me in my car by not using the air conditioning while I drove. (I found that it made me very sleepy which is not such a great idea when you are driving!) My friend sweated with me, helping me to prepare. The need for quickness was apparent then also as I was given a deadline that the merging had to take place by. Just as the completion of this circle has a timing to it that makes my rushing about these past two weeks, make sense. My friend helped me to see the growth that came of that union and how once again I am the bride to my own bridegroom. I have merged my masculine and feminine into the whole. Yes, I chose to breathe that in! It has been a long time coming and much heartache ensued to arrive at this balance point. So I felt the gratitude that this man had been able to hold the energy to complete what we were assigned. And I felt the sadness again of the separation, memories flooded in with the miles. When I finally was too tired to drive any further I saw a billboard for a reasonably priced motel and headed for it. Three things hit me strongly as I exited: it was the exit for El Morro Monument, the place where I had agreed to first meet this man alone, the sign in the other direction was to Shiprock, the place of our original meeting and a huge sign appeared that said, Sundance. This guy is a sundance altar chief. I felt a bit faint with so much coming at me at once but after finally getting out of the car (after 12 hours of driving) and having some food, I began to laugh. It was perfect! All the nudgings to allow me to clear the energies. I thanked the universe as well as myself for creating such beautiful pinpricks to allow me to step out of the old and be the empty vessel awaiting the new. I had asked for some magic and miracles today and I can see that my wish was granted.

Take the Mask Off

I have been getting the message the past few days that it is time to lose the masks. It is time to read the energetic signature of each person in front of us without the filter of a label. Forget uncle, sister, mom…….and all the societal baggage that those words trigger in our beings. It is time to drop all labels. To let go of our roles. To remove our masks and be who we truly are without worrying what others will think. What if I do not honor my mother? What if I stop this obligatory relationship that makes me feel small? What if I move towards freedom?

I remember how shocked folks were when asking about my family of origin. What! You do not have a relationship with your mother?? There is that panic that you have slipped out of the traces and are upsetting the structure that we base so much of our behavior on. We believe that we have to care for someone because of a blood tie. Yet, it is often times, not a bond of love but rather obligation. The joy is not there. For myself, I let go of most of my family of origin more than a score ago. (isn’t that a funny word? A score meaning twenty years). It was toxic and I carried it for years like a weight around my neck. When it began to imprint my children, I stepped away. (ok, my parents disowned me as I spoke the truth about a family secret) Later they tried to rope me back in with shaming tactics). So I have been freed from obligations of the familial nature for years and years. There have been plenty of times when I yearned for family ties that my friends have but it was not my situation. My father-in-law who recently passed was a relationship that I felt fondness for. But he had disappeared into his own world years ago. Now that tie is gone and there is only the tie of my adult children. I am blessed in that we have shifted from the roles and mask wearing to talk and see one another from a sense of joy and upliftment rather than obligation. I know that it is not that common but we came in with a soul agreement to support one another in our work. It is a blessing to me.

Soul families are gathering and we are feeling the freedom and joy that comes from the resonance that we feel with one another. Here is where home can truly be felt in the way that we are beginning to remember more and more. The connections are deep and from the heart and each takes care of themselves so there is no wondering what someone needs or what is the right thing to do. What a relief! When we are each in our joy, doing and being what is our highest good, it cannot interfere with another. If we align with our highest good and the highest good of all……it is a walk in the park! We can simply be with one another, sharing our gifts and hearts. I love tuning into the harmonics of it as the groups begin to gather. There is a tone that affirms the rightness of the match. It feels like we are finally mature enough to really play together! We have mastered much of our egos and have learned to not take things personally. We have let go of our need to control anyone or anything. We have lost the need to compete with one another, knowing that we live in an abundant universe and there is enough for all. We are feeling a deep desire for peace. We want to live in unity with the earth and her elemental kingdoms. We are no longer looking for something or someone outside of us to define us or complete us. We are beginning to recognize that we are masters playing a game. We can take off our masks, congratulate one another on a game well played and move into the joy of co-creating heaven on our beautiful earth.

Espavo! Which means, thank you for taking your power.

Trying to Catch Up with Myself

The energies have been flying for me. I found myself wanting to remain at every place that I had a little hit of these past couple of weeks. Why am I moving so quickly? My emotional and physical bodies are not wanting this speed but my soul is prompting me onward. What is up with the energies??

Look at this beautiful river. I swam across it (not very far) and felt so embraced by its clearness, its coolness. I wanted to spend days looking for rocks in its crystalline depths. It was surrounded by huge redwood trees. I laid on the rocks and went out……a deep sleep that seemed to pull me into the center of my mother. Bliss. I enjoyed two nights on a beautiful piece of property that is a sanctuary for the earth. My new friends tend it with such love. They have planted trees, trucked in loads of rocks, hauled in silt and organic matter that the plants desire, move their chicken coop about so that there is fresh grass for the chickens. The woman speaks with the plants and her beloved worms. They tell her what they want. She hears their
excitement when she is prepping veggies from her garden in the kitchen. She has about six bins filled with compost and worms. They let her know which bin gets that day’s worth of

veggie matter and they wriggle with delight as she stirs it in. The soil that they produce for her is dark and rich. It looks like
you could eat it! I wanted to sit at her feet and absorb her wisdom. I went out to pick blueberries ( I gorged myself on them) and then blackberries. As I was attempting to pick, the berries told me to hold up the colander and the ripest ones would simply hop in. And they did! I almost dropped the strainer as I was so surprised to hear them speak. It was like being in an enchanted land. Everything worked together to create harmony. My friend explained that everything wants to give to us. They plant and harvest eucalyptus
trees for firewood. She told me she felt sad when it came time to cut them down. The trees told her that from the moment that she had planted them, they knew the moment of their demise. They were happy to be of use as firewood. They told her that it is the same with us, when we are born, we know the timing of our death. So interesting how nature wants to be of service to us. We can play our part and join in the cycle of service and love. I was touched deeply by this land and know that I will be a part of this cycle of the land soon.

Fleeting images and sensations: eating gluten free coffee cake fresh from the oven to celebrate a friend’s 60th birthday, sitting on a bed with two other women, rubbing essential oils into one another’s feet and anointing our third eyes like the priestesses we are, walking on the ocean shore gathering rocks that felt like treasures, later spilling our finds and exclaiming over the beauty as we made the difficult decisions as to which ones could travel with us, (how many pounds of rocks can Maxie carry!) returning to a small hotel in Ashland run by a sweet Indian family and being given a room with a view of their veggie garden out back and the rolling hillsides (wore earplugs for the highway sounds as the view was worth it), eating steamed greens at the colorful coop in town, having a clear view of Mount Shasta once again as I cruised south and hearing his gentle laugh with me, stopping at the headwaters to fill my water bottles with its sweet elixir, laying on a blanket staring up at my son’s favorite tree and hearing his hawk cry above us, seeing my friend’s beauty as a shawl that called out to me for her, enfolded her when she needed it as she had come from days of caring for an ill friend, connecting and clearing energies with a crystal bowl and a dear friend, speaking with my daughter and hearing her strength and joy. So many moments, each so perfect and full.

And me on the highway again. Feeling the pull back to explore each one more fully yet knowing that there is only forward motion. Hearing that these are my seeds, the vibrations of each fill my heart and I carry them onward to plant in new soils/souls. Sighing deeply as I hear to savor this time. Savor the days of travel as soon there will be a landing spot. Savor the world as duality is ending and unity is the all. I feel a peace seeping into the land wherever I lay. Each day, I find a place to connect and go in. Mother wants me deep now. My friend asked me to anchor her as she went into meditation. I saw a tree root like a rope bind her and me and take us down to the core of our mother. We both fell instantly asleep and when I awoke, I could not move my limbs. The sense of peace is filling my cells so that they want to flow downward and spread like liquid gold on the land. I am feeling how the seeds of peace are spreading. How we have become peace, we are the new cities of light, we are the streams that flow. My heart rejoices that we have arrived. That we are living in the new and these currents are reaching up to slow folks down, to let their hands loosen on the bundle of their lives. We can watch and allow the relaxation with wonder. We are seeing how beingness moves the energies without our efforting. It is a time of wonder. Off to dreamland, to flow in that river of peace.

Beauty in So Many Shades

I love this Buddha head tucked onto a fence post, mosses placed so lovingly alongside of his head and the purple butterfly bush surrounding him with its beauty. Portland is such a fun city as a walk around its neighborhoods reveals such delights at every turn. I was inspired by the creativity and quirkiness that abounded. Small touches that made my soul feel alive. Images that filled my hands with the itch to create once again. Oh how I love beauty!! I know that I would resonate with the person who made this figure. I wonder if it is the same person who tucked the moss in alongside his head? Art and gardening seem to go together. Both expressions of beauty.

My time in Sacramento had its gifts. There was no sitting and praying for my father-in-law. Instead, folks were eating dinner around the casket and telling stories. There were secrets revealed that surprised me but fit into the family dynamic. I saw the gift of healing that had been offered by dad for the grandchildren and future generations. There is an opportunity to rewrite the records of the genetic coding so that the sexual distortion, manipulation energies and infidelity patterns can be released. I asked dad for the records that they might be transformed. He had been hiding them but handed them to me. I saw that now the opportunity was there for the grandchildren to choose to step out of the old records and step into a new paradigm. Ah…families carry so much heaviness and it is time to release the old. Our children and future generations deserve a clean slate and the wholeness that is true. As so many of the older generation pass at this time, so much weight is being lifted off the planet. They are gifting us with the opportunity to fill the space with love and light.

When I left late that night, I was feeling vulnerable. My two dear friends that usually host me, were both out of town. I did not feel that I could do a hotel as there are too many random energies present. I called a dear friend who had offered me a room many times. You know how people do and yet I had never taken him and his wife up on the offer. I had had a sense that I would sleep there one day. So, I called late at night and asked to stay. The response was immediate and clear..come. I felt like the storm child in one of Garrison Keillor’s Prairie Home Companion stories. He told how in the Midwest, children were assigned a storm family to go to if a storm struck while they were in school. If they lived too far out of town, they were to go to their storm family to wait it out. Garrison spoke of fantasizing about his storm family when his own family was not loving him or was upset with him for something. He knew that he would knock on the door, it would be opened and the man would call to his wife, “Honey, our storm child is here!” Garrison would be engulfed with such love, given hot chocolate with whipped cream and every thing his heart desired. The couple would heap praise on him and love him dearly. So, I was the storm child, being welcomed and loved. I was so grateful.
It was such a relief to be in a home of soft energies and love.

I lay on the bed and thought of all the places that I have stayed and how I was so ready to have my own bed awaiting me somewhere and my own space. It is time. There is a sense of rest that comes with your own space that is not present in others’ spaces, no matter how loving. I am ready for that! The total letting down. I enjoyed a couple of days in a hotel with a dear friend that I have not seen in too long. We watched movies, laid about and talked and laughed. It was rejuvenating. It was soon time to return up north to rejoin my friend for the last few days of her time in California. As I thought of driving up

I-5 again, I heard Mount Shasta laughing at me. He said, “yes, I am calling you back. You will come and go integrate and come again. I have many gifts for you.” So, I was blessed with a clear day and Shasta blazing in all his glory. I stopped to fill my water
bottles at the headwaters and continued my drive up to Smith River. It is a beautiful spot along the coast, right on the border between California and Oregon. Lovely redwoods lining the way, mists and every shade of green.

A friend called and we spoke about expansion and contraction. It is all necessary to creation. We will feel anger and sadness, oneness and gladness. The in and out, We no longer have to figure it out, simply embrace it all and let it flow. My son shared his practice of moving a thought that is whirling in the mind mixer. He takes that mental activity and pulls it into his solar plexus and feels it. He breathes it in, the embracing. He breathes it out, the letting go. When we leave thoughts in our minds, they can go round and round. But this practice, releases them from that hamster wheel and allows mental freedom.

I felt a weight of sadness last night. It was not personal. It felt like somewhere on the planet that was experiencing some deep sorrow. I used this practice and added expanding my form into the cosmos. Soon the physical symptoms subsided and I returned to deep peace. A blessing.

Flowing with the Energies of LIfe

A crow is cawing outside the window, “Wake up!, Wake up!” I awake in so many different places that it takes me a moment sometimes to realize where I am. Add to that, the fact that we are moving between dimensions so often, and it can be quite startling. I sometimes feel that I am dropped back in my body and have to reorient myself to this earth and this particular play that I find myself in. Of course, there are other aspects of me, acting on different stages so I have to check in with the script that this body is working with. Ah, so here I am.

The energies feel like this waterfall that I explored last week. Rushing, cooling, delightfully uplifting with their negative ions. I have surrendered to the flow. The grids of the earth are wavy, in flux as the energies swirl and move. I am understanding that I am to hold only to my center, to the truth of my heart. There is no other anchor. The exterior world is collapsing, changing and all are asked to let go. Letting go of our ideas of where, what, how, when. Freefalling. Aligning ourselves with joy, peace, adventure…….inner qualities rather than outer roles or landscapes.

The flow took me on a seven hour drive north to meet a friend in Hood River, Oregon. She was traveling down from Vancouver on her way east to Iowa and an ill mom and it was our intersecting point. It was a delightful drive as I integrate so much when I am driving. Maxie (my car and a true light being) was thrilled to be on the open road, spreading her seeds of peace with me. There was a space of confusion that I entered, wondering what I was doing. I sometimes experience this sense that I have lost the script and have no idea why I am doing what I am doing. Yet, the energies were flowing that way and once I grounded again, I felt happy and clear.

My father in law had passed away that morning so there was the pull south. I felt his presence, he was so conscious and happy. After 94 years in the body, he felt the joy and relief of his new form. He offered me a blessing of family healing that was so sweet. I felt peace and asked the angels to guide him to the place of his highest good. The family is honoring his passing with three days of sitting with his body in the home. I received a message that the third day would be my time to sit and pray. Today is that third day. I left Hood River after a leisurely morning with my friend where the plan evolved to meet in Sante Fe in the next fortnight to take art classes together. I will be able to renew a friendship with a woman artist who lives there. She said that she had just been thinking of me. It felt so fluid and right. My desire to create has been coming on strongly and here an opportunity is to step into it. The desert in the summer? It is not mind planning, it is flowing with the energies.

I flowed back to Portland to spend the morning
with a dear friend. She had plans for the afternoon and evening so I planned on leaving. Instead, we had a delightful few hours exploring her neighborhood. The flowers and pretty houses and shops full of colorful things were all so stimulating. I felt sated. My creativity juices were flowing with ideas of things to make. I took up her offer to stay and spent the rest of the afternoon and evening resting, reading, writing and watching a movie. She fed me, provided for my every need. So nurturing. I was in need of the time alone. I love this picture of the spider’s web. I have watched how they throw out their web into space, literally swinging out there, until the thread catches hold somewhere. I feel that the animals and insects and birds are all trying to show us the way to live. I am listening to the spider and throwing out my heart line each day and following where it leads.

So, time to pack up and make a ten hour drive to take my turn at sitting with Dad’s body and offering my prayers for him and all souls who have recently departed. On the surface, it seems I am a bit nuts, driving here and there. Yet, my heart line is pure and true and there is no right and wrong. There is only following the energies with trust and joy. I have felt a renewed sense of that joy and wonder at this play that I am in. I so love my part! I move, I land, I move out again. I spread my seeds of peace and love and the simplicity of that brings the tears.

There is another stream heading north to the San Juan Islands. I feel someone waiting for me there on the end of a thread. I do not have to plan, only follow as the streams awaken in me. I move this morning with my heart full of gratitude for the gift of this friend who has cared for me in the same way that I hosted others (back when I had a home), for the gift of Dad’s love in my life when my own dad had disowned me, for the art awaiting me, for the abundance that allows this movement with ease, for the web of life that awes me with its intertwining and shimmering beauty. I am so full of wonder.

The Wonder of It All

Honk…honk..honk……the geese called me to come and witness the beauty of the sunrise. I had spent the night at a vacation rental house set on a small pond near Mount Shasta. I am sitting on the deck, feeling the cool morning dew on my feet and my eyes blinded by the sun rising over the mountains. Shasta is just now coming out from the clouds to greet the day with me. There is a swan gliding silently across the water……yes, add a swan or two to the scene! Someone has thought of everything. The water ripples in the sunlight, dew drops hang from the cattails and reeds like sparkling crystals. A fish jumps and leaves rings of movement on the surface of the water. I hear the birds singing their good morning to the sun as I raise my voice in joy and praise for this day. For this earth, for the heaven that is present here. Truly we are living in heaven on earth. Each day she gifts us with her beauty and light. Her fragrance so full of her creations…the vegetation, the damp soil, the pine trees standing as sentinels along this pond’s shore. There is an ecstasy that flows through my veins as a quiet river. I am drinking of this beauty.

A friend is here, sharing in the ohhs and ahhs. We share our gratitude for this morning’s feast. There is only this moment. Later it will be time to deal with the movement of the day. A friend called yesterday and is heading from her island home off Vancouver to her mom in Iowa. It seems so many are close to passing into a new world. They are choosing to witness the dawning of this new age from the other side. I agreed to drive north to meet her on route for a night of sharing. I see that we have an exchange to do, codes to be given and received. Makes no logical sense yet my heart leads unerringly to the next step.

The sun has risen high enough to find my face and touch me with her warmth. I feel caressed. It is true that we can make love with everything. Our bodies want to celebrate with the trees and water and mists. The lover is everywhere. The lover is everything. How could my beloved not come, he is all around me this morning.

I once spoke to a beloved of mine on the phone as he contemplated ending his life. I said, “If that is your choice, you can take it. Yet, you have not. You have called me. What is it that you are living for?” There was silence that stretched my heart strings taut. Finally he whispered, ” Beauty. I wish to live for beauty, to create beauty in the world.” Yes, beauty is life. Beauty is nourishment. For so many, they have lived on a starvation diet with so little beauty around them. It is time to restore the beauty of our mother and recognize that everyone deserves to live in beauty. When I worked with inner city kids, the schools were so ugly, so barren. As a society we had decided that they did not
deserve beauty. The assumption was that they would only destroy it. Yet, those were the ones who needed it the most. I took them into nature and they drank it up. There was fear, as they had not been exposed to open spaces and so much light. Yet, their hearts responded, as our hearts do, to the gifts of our mother. When she opens her arms, it is hard to resist her embrace. Who would want to?

I am being fed this morning at the grand feast in the hall of kings. I know that I am worthy of this gift and send it streaming from my heart to all others on this planet of ours. I so love this earth and all of her inhabitants.

Quiet Integration

Whew…after the Friday and Saturday events, I opted out of Sunday’s gathering. The Elohim Peace channeled through me on Saturday and she wanted me to be still and integrate all that had been given. We were given the knowing that Shamballa is inside us. The seeds are there to be nourished and grown.

This picture is of a quiet spot that I found to sit with my back against a huge tree that had its roots growing out over the water. The sky was overcast and created a mood that matched my own. The lake added its part with its reflection of the mountains and sky. I felt that I became part of the landscape as we all blended in that space of peace. Serenity. The blues and whites and muted greens…..mmmm. I could drink this scene and be drunk by it. At times, doesn’t it seem so apparent that we are part of everything? That this tree and I are one, this water is me, I am that mountain side. Yes, unity is becoming more evident every day.

Opting out of events and listening to my inner guidance is getting easier for me as I feel more clarity about who I am. There were aspects to the gathering on Saturday, that did not feel right for me. There are rituals and expressions of Spirit that feel too dramatic, too heavy and old to me. I saw that the labels of New Age and Spirituality, felt confining. I chose to move away from the woo woo aspect and live a life of simplicity and peace. There seems to be as much baggage with the labels of New Age as there is with Christianity. I hesitate to say that I am a Christian, though I recognize Jesus as the master that he is, as I do not fit so much of the thoughts that come with the label. In the same way, I no longer fit the Spiritual or New Age description. Mystic… I might be able to carry that one. Yet, I wish to move away from all labels. I do not want to be set apart from anyone or anything.

I want to live like these horses that over- whelmed me with their beauty. This is what I choose. I watched the foals, standing on their wobbly legs, looking about for their mother. The herd moved about with such peace and grace. I was mesmerized by the flow as they moved from spot to spot in the field. They seemed to be so in harmony with their surroundings. Many shades and colorings, male and female, young and old. All grazing with such peace. I am grateful for the vibration that they infused my heart with. I can carry it and feed it so that it grows. I can connect to my mother, Gaia and choose to walk my path in this harmony with her. I can know that my needs will be provided just as the grass is there for these beautiful horses. I can appreciate the beauty of my surroundings as I am sure these horses do. I can live in peace with my herd, knowing that there is enough for everyone and that as a herd, we will care for each other. So many gifts to ponder as I quietly allow the integration.

Musings from the Mountain

This past weekend has been one of much learning and growth. I was excited about attending a gathering to open a portal to Shamballa. I felt the energies building and had a couple of lovely experiences leading up to the event. First, I had a reading with a woman who channeled Archangel Michael and St Germain for me. I asked for my job description and St Germain said that I could be called Johnny Appleseed as I spread seeds of peace about the earth. That resonated as the idea of seeding the new consciousness has been a large part of Maxie (my car) and my mission these past two years. He also said that I could call myself a temple builder. He said that I am a template of peace. I did not realize that we could be templates but was assured that my elder son and I, are. The temple builder fits as I have had visions and memories of other lifetimes, creating sacred temples. The knowing is in my cells. He showed me that the temple or community, begins with peace and from there, all else flows. It infuses the way the children are educated, the way that food is grown, the way health is maintained. It is the source from which all the structures are created. That felt so right as peace is the feeling that I want to experience and live. By starting there, it allows all to flow from that vibration. I recall my days as an administrator at a charter school. It was so easy to get caught up in all the regulations and systems and forget that it was all about the kids! I found myself bringing that reminder to the fore again and again. I know that I can hold a focus. I am a vision keeper. To hold the focus of peace, a community of light can be formed. I felt a sense of peace simply thinking of this!

Later I was sitting with a friend and speaking of spirals of peace. She felt there was something in the spiral for me. We went into meditation and the Elohim of Peace came through me. Oh, the vibration of peace is so nourishing! She took me into the temple of peace to feel it fully

and then invited me to take the temple into each of my cells. It is a golden temple and the beauty is breathtaking. There is a languidness, a cadence that slows all down. I felt golden light flow through me. I wanted to melt into the earth with this flow. She asked me to breathe into the peace, to fully open to her gift. She showed me the seeds that I carry and how I plant them on the earth and in people. I watched in amazement as the seeds began to sprout. Mother Gaia nourishes with her rich soil and Father Sun encourages with his beautiful rays. The angelic kingdom, the ascended masters and our open hearts add the love. I watched the blossoming forth of people, each was a beautiful flower, of every color and hue. The fragrances were intoxicating. As they blossomed, I heard the tones of each one. The beauty filled all my senses. Our senses are being amped up, I could smell and see and hear things that I have never experienced before. Soon, we will all be given these heightened sensory perceptions.

I saw how my intention of each footstep, each mile that I drive be a step for peace, does work! The golden elixir is gifted to the earth and helps to reclaim her soil. What a simple thing, to intend each morning that your feet step forth in peace throughout your day. Over and over, I am shown that our simple intentions have an impact beyond our imagining. I am so grateful to Peace for her gift to me and for the role that I am asked to play. To give peace, to live peace, to be peace. To carry the seeds and plant them where I am directed. It gives a context to my wandering and makes me laugh at the connection to old Johnny Appleseed!

Linda Peaceseed…hmm. Doesn’t have the same ring to it. Guess I will stick with seed carrier. No wonder I love clothes with pockets, to carry all my seeds!

Discernment, What is My Path?

The mountain continues to give me clarity. Yesterday was interesting. I had not slept much the night before, read a book in my tent until my headlamp batteries died. Energies were shifting and I could not settle. I spent the afternoon with a couple of friends. We did some intense work together as one woman was releasing some heavy attachments from a relationship that she had recently left. It echoed what I had experienced formerly and as we all spoke, we could share common threads and support. That is one of the beauties of sharing, we open the door for others to not feel alone on their journeys. We can validate what someone is experiencing and by acknowledging that their intuition is right on, we allow one another that space to step out of the pattern. Freedom can be had. It was beautiful to witness and be a part of.

So my learning came as we went to the Headwaters of the Sacramento River to wash our feet and to fill our water bottles with the clear, clean water. After a time, I felt ready to leave. I was tired and wanted a nap. I was driving so instead of simply stating my desire to leave, I waited around. I went for a walk with one woman into the woods nearby. A man came along, wanting to show us more of the pathways into the woods. We followed and it became a longer walk than I was up for. I felt a sharp stab of a feeling calling me back. Almost an anxiety like one of my kids needed me. I did not immediately turn around but continued to follow as the pressure to go back grew. Finally I said, I need to return. The other friend who had remained at the headwaters, had been sending us a message to return as she was concerned about the energies of the man we had met. He was a taker of energy in a strange way.

I saw how by not caring for myself when I was tired, I was spacey and not in a clear space to articulate my needs and be aware of the energies about me. It was a beautiful wake up call to listen to and honor that voice inside above all else.

This came into play later as I contemplated a board meeting that I was to attend today. I had been asked by a woman, who I admire, to be on her USA board of directors for her non-profit organization. When the idea was presented as building a community here in the USA, I thought it was community like I am desiring to co-create. I was so excited as I thought that her was an opportunity to advance that plan. But her focus is different. I found myself not wanting to read bylaws and go through all the rules of building this organization. It felt heavy to me (this is a good sign that I am in the wrong area!) I wrestled with the feelings of letting go of a commitment that I had made once again (I have done this a few times in the past couple of years) and trying to discern what it was that I really wanted. I saw that my avoiding reading the materials and the difficulties of doing conference calls from cafes and such with limited internet access, was clearly giving me some information. This commitment did not fit with my life. I saw that my ego had been flattered that this person who is one of the leaders in the spiritual movement, had asked me to be a part of her organization. So, that is old energy, feeding the ego! I can let that go. I need to feed my truth, my path. I can only follow where I am guided. I have been cut free in so many ways from the regular world and I see that is necessary for me to hold the vision of the new. This is my work and it does require my focus and commitment.

So, today I wrote my resignation letter. My heart felt a bit heavy in the doing but now I feel the freedom in the release from an obligation that did not fit. It is a dance, we step here and then there, trying to find our flow. Each day, there is more to learn and discover about being our authentic self. I am grateful for the learning and the opportunities to continue the dance!