Recalibrating

After a few days in Morro Bay it was time to be off again. The drive through the hills was so lovely. I sang and said my ho’oponopono

(‘I love you, I’m sorry, please forgive me, thank you’) as the miles went by. This oak tree called me to stop and spend some time with it. I loved the lichen and moss covering it in gray greens and yellows. So twisted and scarred yet so majestic. Something in me resonated with her (she felt feminine to me). So firmly planted on the earth even though to appearances, she looked off balance with the weight of her limbs listing to port. She knew who she was and there was a strength and dignity to her that infilled my being. I drew a deep drought of her essence into myself and felt a firmer connection to my mother as my roots mimicked hers and tapped into Gaia’s heart. She let me know that I, too, was beautiful even if to outer appearances it may look as if I am off balance in the way I live my life. This dear oak reminded me that our mother sees and knows our beauty and will reflect it to us if we ask. That is my truth. My mother loves me and I love her.

I passed through the wildflower covered hills, enjoying the purple lupines and fields of yellow flowers. The gentle hills rolled under Maxie’s wheels as she laid down her tracks of rainbow

light as we moved along. Then the clouds moved in and the rain

began. I had planned on visiting the poppy preserve, an area where there are hillsides exploding with California orange poppies. The rain gave me a new direction. I had been experiencing bouts of nausea and headaches for the past couple of days and these increased. When I came out of the hills and hit a town, I stopped at a store to see if there was anything that I could eat that would quiet my stomach. The rain became a downpour and I could not navigate in it. My daughter called and asked me to join her for an upcoming race that she wanted to participate in . I agreed to change direction and head north as my physical condition precluded me heading to the desert to camp. I realized that I was not feeling strong enough to follow that path at the moment. I love to camp and the desert had been calling me but I knew that I needed to feel more fully present in my body to do so. My body has been recalibrating from all the recent upgrades that this past week has brought. I need to get to know this new me and allow it to settle in. I have to be gentle with this process and care for myself during it. I saw myself like a baby, wrapped in a giant leaf, being rocked by mother earth and tended to by my Mother/Father God. Ahhhh, that felt nice!

I made it to a hotel and took a long hot bath before falling into bed. A rough night where I wondered about this ascension process and whether or not it was time to return to home. I felt free from any ties, felt ready to move to the light. I surrendered to that light. The morning brought sunshine and a lightness in my being. I called my son and drove the few hours to his place. I knew that I needed some connection and anchoring. He embodies that strong earth energy in a masculine form. Exactly what I needed! We cooked and ate greens and root vegies which further anchored me. Now I am awake in his room that has a bank of windows on two sides, allowing the morning light to stream in. I slept well and deep which was a blessing. The birds are singing their morning song and a nearby church is ringing its bells on this Saturday morning. I have no idea of my next step but this moment feels rich. Having no home and anchor can be a challenge when the body is undergoing changes. I know that my anchor is internal as is my sense of home. I do carry it with me yet I will be glad to find a place where I can put down roots. To awaken each day and walk on land that knows me in a more intimate way. I know that I am being guided. I trust in diving timing. It is there awaiting me and I shall know it. For today, I will lean on my son’s strength and draw sustenance. There is the grace.

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