A new day, a new dawn. We have truly stepped into a new world. The clarity is flowing in and will continue to open us all to our higher truths. Peace is beginning to permeate the planet from deep inside our mother’s heart. It is asking us all to find peace in our lives on many levels. I had a phone call from someone who was once a friend. As I have shifted my vibration over the years, many friends have dropped away and new ones have come into my world. This used to be emotional for me. I had this feeling that I had to hang on to everyone that I loved. The parting was wrenching for me. I have learned over the years to flow with life more and understand the cycle of beginnings and endings. All is in divine order. It is the way of the universe. Nature offers us such a gift if we take the time to look. Her constant cycle of growth and decay is a schoolroom for us to study in. She does not try to hang onto her leaves when autumn comes, this butterfly did not decide that change was too scary so let’s stay in the chrysalis. No, she expanded her wings, fragile as they were, into the light of the new day.
Due to the nature of who I am, as these friends have dropped away over the years, there has often been an energy of anger directed at me. The other fears the change they see in me and use the anger as a weapon, hoping to keep me contained and their world steady. At first, this was hard to bear and my heart has experienced many sorrow filled moments due to this. Yet, I have come to see what is behind the anger and know that it is not personal to me. The other day, an old friend called to apologize for this. It was a sweet call and we were able to communicate the love and caring that had always been there. Truly it is a matter of vibration. As our vibrations change, we no longer resonate in the same way and it becomes increasingly uncomfortable for both parties which is what provokes the break. There is no blame or shame in this, it is simply a universal law. Like attracts like and we are in a state of constant motion to an ever evolving state of oneness with Source. We are all in our perfect place, receiving the lessons that we need to move us closer to our best and grandest version of ourselves.
I am letting go of the idea that I am too much for everyone. I am finding folks that resonate where I do and I am just right for them! My higher self is giving more and more glimpses into my own beauty and radiance. This is a new energy, not ego based. I am seeing my power and claiming it in a way that would have felt like aggrandizement to me prior to this. I am understanding my truth and no longer being surprised by the company that I keep. I am understanding the beauty of my energy field and how many folks want a piece of it. I am learning discernment. I am honoring myself by choosing who and what I allow to enter my field.
The past two days have held some sadness as I am letting go of where I have been. My daughter came home from her weekend away saying that she felt a need for more space. All three of us have known on some level, that our time together was coming to an end. I had felt the web around me vibrating with some new movement. It did not crystallize until my daughter articulated her feelings. All of a sudden, my inner knowing lit up and I knew that Maxie (my faithful 16 year old car) and I were to be traveling in the world again. A wave of grief went through me and my son, daughter and I hugged and gave gratitude for the gift of
these past few months. I had come for a few days stay and had remained for five months. None of us foresaw that but it is what came to pass. We created a mini community of support and nurturing love. So, I am not quite sure of the dance or flow at this moment but know that there will not be weeks of time remaining in San Francisco. I will pop back to take stock of the things that have gathered around me in this length of time (yes, books and art and stuff) and sort and let go so as to travel light once again. I am heading to Ventura, in Southern California later this week for a workshop and my knowing says that there is something for me to experience there. I have no idea where I will be led but am trusting the process once again. A wave of uncertainty presses in as I float out into this untethered place once again. I breathe deep and reassure myself out loud, “You are fine, love. One step at a time and all is well. Trust the process.” My heartlight is turned on and I am following its beam.