Shifting so fast as since we entered the last wave of the Mayan calendar, a year’s worth of days is now compressed into 20 days. So it makes sense that my perspective would shift in a day or hourly as that is a period of days in our old world.
Spoke with my sister about this morning’s shift around my preparedness shopping. She laughed and said, “You cannot hold fear in your being for long enough to get out the door, no less on an entire shopping trip!” We laughed as I knew that it was true. I have stepped out of that vibration for anything more than a moment. I felt guided to buy the stuff, did not feel panic around it nor any sense that I would be using it. Rather that I was to do it. That was it. Just like when I would be driving around the country and feel guided to go in some direction…no judgment of it. I simply followed. My heart does lead the way these days. And it has its own reasons that can be entirely mysterious to me. I want her to lead me more and more so I pay attention. I trust her to lead me home to my higher self. To lead me home to God. I greet each day with some curiosity as to where she will take me. Today it was the ocean with wild waves and wind. I came home with sand plastered on my face, I looked and felt sandblasted!
So the old notion that I stressed for my kids of knowing why you are doing something, no
longer really works. It is that mental construct that believes that if we line up all the facts, add a to b, we will come out with c. Now we may end up with z! The heart has its own system that is feeling based and love based. It operates from unity consciousness and moves in new ways that the mind can find pretty mysterious. To me, it puts the joy back in life. I trust that all is well and I free up so much of that mental chatter space that used my energy to try to make this happen and that not happen. Mind you, (oh that is funny!) it was all thought going on pretty much non-stop in my mind, believing that it could change outcomes. If I worry about him, I will help him. Yikes, how did we believe that? I did for a long time. Now I feel such peace as I know that we all shift and move in the perfect time. It is not my job to be involved with anyone else’s movement in life. I am in charge of my life, period. I can witness and acknowledge others’ steps but not direct them.
I was thinking of playing a game of cards, (which makes me think that would be fun to do,
haven’t in years it seems) and how you sometimes get a winning hand. You celebrate and then throw your winning cards back into the pile to be reshuffled. You are back in the game, you may get a good hand or a bad one, but you are playing. I was thinking of how I hung on to this last love that was so big in my life. I had a winning hand, celebrated it and then refused
to throw my cards back in to be reshuffled. Somehow I thought that if I just held on to them, the winning hand would return. It is the same if we draw a poor hand. We don’t refuse to play on and bemoan the fact that we drew a poor hand. I want to throw my cards back on the table and draw some new ones. I need to allow the game to go on. I want to be playing at this life on all levels, in every moment. So, deal me in!